Curse: Through the wickedness of his sons, Eli lost favor with God and it was prophesied that all men in his family will be ruined. The priests of Nob, most were his relatives, were killed by Saul and his youngest son Abiathar, David's high priest, was exiled by Solomon for supporting a rival to the throne.
Death by Falling Over: After hearing of his sons' death, he fell from his chair and broke his neck. To be fair, he was already very old.
The Lord called Samuel: and he answered, "Here am I".
You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and Iíll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORDís, and he will give all of you into our hands.
Badass Israeli: The original. Note: The "Star of David" is the frame of his shield.
My God, What Have I Done?: Very narrowly averted; The only thing that stopped David from wiping out Nabal's entire house when he insulted him was quick thinking on Abigail's part. David snaps out of it and thanks God that he was prevented from having such blood guilt on his hands.
Polyamory: Michal and Bathsheba were just the start; he had eight total plus concubines.
The Purge: Killed all the men in Saul's family (except Jonathan's son) eligible for succession and even forced Saul's daughter Michal to marry him again to force an alliance with the former royal family. His last wishes (textually, if not chronologically) were for Solomon were to kill Joab and Shimei, steward of the house of Saul.
Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: 1 Samuel, 17:46. "This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you...!".
Pretty Boy: "And when the Philistine looked about, and saw David, he disdained him; for he was but a youth, and ruddy, and withal of a fair countenance."
Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: His "Mighty Men" who were mercenaries and outlaws who joined him during his years as a fugitive.
She Is Not My Girlfriend: David had a young girl as a ward in his old age who everyone thought was a concubine. One of his sons even asked to marry her, perhaps to subtly lay a claim to the throne. David always denied any claims of her being more than his nurse of sorts.
When Abigail caught sight of David, she at once hastened and got down off the ass and fell upon her face before David and bowed to the earth. She then fell at his feet and said: ďUpon me myself, O my lord, be the error; and, please, let your slave girl speak in your ears"
Shaming the Mob: After her husband Nabal insulted David, David led a couple hundred men back to him, intending to wipe out his entire household. Abigail placates him with gifts of food and a heartfelt speech.
Also carried a lance whose shaft is described as being as a "weaver's beam". For a modern comparison, this means that the pole of the spear was about as big around as the barrel of a regulation baseball bat. And the spear's head is estimated to have weighed at least fifteen pounds. In other words, this spear was absurdly large.