I can call it that because I am AFGNCAAP's clone. Do not let the feline appearnce fool you; it was just for the hell of it.

From the Liveblog List thread:

See, when I threaten you, I bloody mean it.

From the applicable article:

Supposedly, the Budget Gods were a lot nicer to the filmmakers this time, and the effects, props, costumes (please oh please oh please...), etc, were more timely. That doesn't change the things many don't like about the Dune books that came after the first. Personally, though, I'm enjoying the exponentially rising WTF-ness level—makes for nice liveblogging material, in any case.

Oh, and there are a few different actors. Let's see if any left who I liked.

BEYOND THIS POINT DWELL SPOILERS. DO NOT ENTER UNLESS YOU HAVE TRAINED PAST LEVEL 11 OR ARE A MEMBER OF THEIR FACTION (you dirty defector).

Update pending for tonight.

edited 27th Feb '10 5:55:34 PM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

Hey, nice. Haven't seen the miniseries in a while, but I quite liked it.

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars

Hello again!

Let's start this thing by liveblogging the opening credits and scaring everyone away. So...

-*starts up film*

...

-*starts up film*

Wait a minute...ugh. I think I accidentally deleted VLC when I was cleaning up my hard drive a while back; wait a few lines.

...re-downloading...

...booting up...

...all right. Here we go. We've got the title card, and—oh, skipping the credits for a blank white screen. Who knows what goes on behind the void? Ice planet things, apparently, because the white comes from snow.

We see some sort of bunker. So they are going to do this scene. Something secret is going on here, on the last planet the authorities would think to search for plotters: Bizarro Arrakis.

Wait; correction—that's not a bunker. It's a flag, and now there's a "a battle took place here" Dead People Montage while Princess Irulan does what she does best: exposition. There has been a timeskip of twelve years since the last movie, during which a bunch of people died in the galactic crusades of Muad'dib (aka Paul Atreides).

But today, on the planet Naraj Bizarro Arrakis, which appears to be a Planet of Hats where the hat is a badass pair of goggles—

Wait; more fighting. Let's wait this out...

...on Arrakis? Damn; guess they're not doing the whole ice planet "here is how we are going to bring the empire to its knees" intro. Could be worse, though, because it spoiled the whole plot of the antagonists before chapter one.

Exposition...same stuff as the last movie (still as dangerous a planet as usual—good; if it wasn't, I'd be worried that something had happened!)...

A Mysterious Cloaked Figure makes their way through the streets of Arakeen. And there is a human skull lying on the ground for no reason—no one really cares. Over this, the opening credits play. Because I'm so bad at names, I can't tell which actors switched out this way. We'll just have to see.

Hm; score that does not fit in at all.

And they added a pyramid motif onto the palace. Some remodeling. A crowd of people gather outside said addition, and it becomes clear who they were waiting for.

Alia has gotten twelve years older and is displaying the same genetic marker as her brother, the Emperor—being played by someone in her twenties while she ought to be a teenager. This time you're actually given a number of years to add up and prove that she ought to look younger.

That said—nice dress, actually. The intricate collar part is a pretty good idea.

She runs some sort of religious service, which doesn't last long. Back inside the palace, Cloak Guy reveals himself to be Paul—same actor, same blonde hair, and this time he looks too young. But then, only three years had passed since the last film was made compared to twelve in the continuity.

A couple of attendants caution him that going out in disguise never ends well—oh, shit. All of his employees are bald. Fine look and all, but it's going to be hard to tell them apart from a distance. Never thought I'd say this, but needs more crazy hats. Apparently, one of these advisors is old companion Stilgar. New actor, it appears, and a younger actor, as they replaced the previous guy with someone who looks like Nero from the Star Trek movie. : He is Nero, and this is a really weird alternate timeline.

Paul goes to his bedroom, where Chani was napping. Either this is a new actress or she is wearing a lot of makeup that she didn't last time. In any case, the doctor told her to rest, her being pregnant.

Later—of course. You can't call it a Dune adaptation if it doesn't have dream sequences. Prescience is a trap, etc, spoilers of the actual Children of Dune portion of the film, etc, all within some underground maze.

Meanwhile!! On Salusa Secundus, where the family of the last emperor of the galaxy has been exiled: now they're doing the whole conspiracy part. But first, let me express my disappointment with the tame surface of this prison planet, which is made out to be quite the Death World. It's barren, cloudy and covered in rocks, but if I were making a death world, I'd get a little more creative like that. For me, the words evoke a lethal lava land where it rains skin-rending acid and is prowled by Orc expys, man-eating trees and giant battle bears. And that's just the surface—the largest and most dangerous alien that stalks Harmattane's Planet O' Doom is the moon, a million-toothed carnivorous beast that eats passing ships, and all of that drifts in a shrinking orbit that slowly spirals into the sun over several thousands of years.

...okay, done.

Here we've got Princess Irulan's sister, the old Revered Mother, and—PAUSE. The princess is another Romulan! Compare: [1]◊ [2]◊ Clearly, something is in the works.

...and an unfamiliar guy who is with them, the Face Dancer (shapeshifter type) Scytale of the planet Tleilax, a man of few lines. Kind of a fun villain in a very sedate book, really. To sum up the initial exchange in a sentance: "Hey guys; I've got something to show you."

He leads the two women to a back room, where he brings their asassination weapon of choice through a portal...

...no. No, this is not deceased Atreides master swordsman Duncan Idaho. Way, wayyyy unfamiliar actor. These two should not be convinced.

Fun fact: In, I think, the sixth grade, I actually got through about half of the first Dune before going "eek I can't read this good yet; let's try again in eight years", but just far enough for this guy to be my first PSL ever. Little did I know that he would spend the whole rest of the series either dying or seducing the galaxy.

Heh; perfect restoration? We won't really know that until we know if he still has the Scottish accent, and Scytale has the prescious Laser-Guided Tyke-Bomb in stasis. I'd think you'd want that tested out before you give him to the Emperor.

Tleilaxu Replica Accuracy Score: 2.5/10 Nice try.

Okay, fine place to stop. I'm short on time, so take this battle bear◊ in lieu of anything to read (large image).

edited 28th Feb '10 2:26:07 AM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

So, what now?

Back on Arrakis, Chani (I think she is also a new actress, as I almost just confused her with Alia) wears an extremely strange headband. I wonder where they got the random fur piece—definitely off-planet.

Meanwhile, an ornithopter approaches, but she takes no notice, asking a maid why it is that she cannot conceive. I suppose the pregnancy did not work out after all.

The maid suggests—HAT. Ah, oddly enough, I'm glad to see a return of the crazy hats.

But, what the maid says—she suggests that someone is putting a contraceptive in Chani's food, or something along those lines. All they can do is find medicine to counteract it.

Elsewhere, Paul gets very distracted during a board meeting, having another vision of his future son—really. Also, a Guild ambassador is going to visit, which Stilgar does not approve of, remembering all the trouble they caused last time. No one is sure why Paul invited them.

Irulan puzzles over this later, only to be interrupted by Chani, who is all "You know what you did." Irulan admits to use of the contraceptives and claims that as Paul's official wife, she is the one who should have their child. Chani disagrees—"official" is the key word here, and official only. Paul loves her.

Back on Salusa Secundus, Irulan's nephew is set up to rule the empire someday, but even being a little kid, he doesn't want to do it. His mother is unsympathetic.

But where is Scytale? Why, on the other side of space, being invited into the house of one of Paul's military leaders for a visit. This cannot end well.

The two of them chat for a while, and it comes out that the guy's son is blind due to injuries sustained in the battle on Naraj. Possibly deaf, too, as he doesn't even turn his head when Scytale loudly kills his father with a poisoned dart.

IN SPACE!: A couple of Paul's men arrest the Reverend Mother. Is the conspiracy endangered? Doubtful.

ON THE GROUND: the Guild is here. Hey, I thought no one was supposed to see their navigators. Seen or unseen, though, they've come to deliver a "gift" courtesy of Ms. Corrino: one tribble.

Oh, come on; it would have worked way, way better.

Scytale's supposed pet project removes his hood, thinking, "What was the name of the guy Scytale said I look like again? Photo did not look like me at all. That blonde chap is never going to buy it. I want to go back to the mailroom..."

But he does buy it, despite Stilgar's insistence that Paul sends the ghola away. Notably, in the book, it was actually said ghola who told Paul that he was a trap and not to accept him, earning copious woobie points. Paul still refused, though, feeling responsible for his repaired dead friend.

In another room, Irulan visits the imprisoned Reverend Mother. In hand signals, the latter tells the former to kill any child that Chani bears.

A while later, Paul interrupts as Alia fights several battle droid-like things, bringing news that the daughter of one of his high-ranking men was found dead a short distance into the desert. Alia and the ghola are to go and investigate, and with that helluva setup, that's where I'll leave off.

edited 1st Mar '10 2:25:46 AM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

Oops; I forgot to put something mildly important in the first post: my liveblog of the precursor to this film. So, here, in case you want it.

Dune (2000)

Ce ne pas un post.

Sorry; not tonight (whoever's reading...). I'm going to cover all of these instances now by saying that a few days between updates isn't a sign of death.

Ce ne pas un post.

Yeah, that was a little too long, but something bad happened to my computer, and I needed to leave it alone for a while. I'll be back tonight.

Ce ne pas un post.

I remember seing half of this movie once. I'll be following it.

It would be interesting to see them adapt God-Emperor Of Dune.

Kill all math nerds

Interesting is one way to put it...I think this is about as far as you go with most Dune adaptations before it becomes really hard to do, and possibly alienating your audience.

This is making me want to watch it again, though.

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars

...adapt? That's moving too fast for this humble species. It cannot be done until we learn to print the book without spoiling Leto's sandworm hybrid form on the front cover.

Seriously, though, that would be...difficult. However the attempt turned out, it would be fun to see how it turned out.

Sorry for the wait, though, as much as I say I'll be back. My computer got damaged by accident and I couldn't use it for a while, but it has now fully recovered—to a safe extent, anyway. It's slightly embarassing. If I'm not working on this by midnight Pacific time, consider spamming my inbox.

Ce ne pas un post.

^ Seeing that cover in a book store and wondering what the fuck that was about was the entire reason I read the Dune books. I'm serious here.

Kill all math nerds

I just read the Wikipedia articles, myself.

Okay, update. Where we left off: Tall, Dark and Pretty and Tall, Dark and Handsome alone in the same ornithopter. Sounds like fun except for the autopsy part.

Alia and Hayt (or so they called him in the book; no one's used a name for him in this version) skip over the ride to the scene of the crime and examine the deceased damsel near the city's edge, during what appears to be a sandstorm.

Teehee; Hayt's Brummie accent. Not passing so well as the last guy. But he does identify the murder weapon as poison by just looking at the body's skin—astute as always, Mr. Holmes. And who would do such a thing? Well, rule of thumb: when in doubt, it's a Face Dancer.

Later, back at the palace—d'awwww. They skip the whole protracted Slap-Slap-Kiss thing. Except Alia and Hayt haven't even interracted previously in this film, so that would be odd.

But, at the palace, sure enough, the same woman who supposedly died appears to be alive across town—Otheym's daughter visits Paul. Her brother (the one who got the visit from Scytale), she claims, had a very unfortunate and most definitely accidental...accident. She—well, Scytale; it's obvious—asks Paul to come and talk to her father. Though Paul sees right through Scytale, he agrees to.

Later that night—okay. Since they're skipping through Dune Messiah so fast, they're already to the part with the stone burner. I can see why, though; most of the book was just people talking. I found the change of pace relaxing rather than boring, but I can see why it might not work onscreen.

But as Paul walks to Otheym's place, some guy in the shadows goes "There! He's walked into our trap! Go press the button, my young assistant!"

Not yet, though. Paul is led inot the house of his ailing military leader Otheym by his Scytale's three-foot-tall friend Bijaz. Otheym is supposedly dying of something he caught off-planet—Spitting Disease? That sounds like the most contagious thing ever.

Acting as the Almost Dead Guy, Otheym warns of a plot against Paul, and you should always believe the Almost Dead Guy. He tells Paul to take Bijaz and leave him to die—he doesn't want the last thing he ever hears to be some guy who says everything in rhyme. Hey, that scenario sounds familiar! Poor Piter DeVries—for some reason, they gave the Baron the same vocal tic in the first film.

Bijaz leads Paul not back to the palace, but into a dark and grimy alley, and before you could say "suspicious", Arakeen gets nuked down the street—except not. Supposedly, a stone burner doesn't do the same massive damage as a nuke, but it's like the sun turned up to eleven—if you look at it, that's it for your eyes. Well, even if they're no longer operative, at least they turn a neat black. Probably because the effect of one's eyes actually being absent would have dragged down the whole rest of the movie's budget to the level of its predecessor, and someone liked theatrical contacts.

It looks like Paul did not look away fast enough. However, he can use his prescience as quasi-eyes. With all the talk about prescience being dangerous, though...yeah.

The next day, Chani comes to visit, and Paul admits to her that he'd always known disaster was inevitable. They decide to have the baby back in the desert, in the sietch where they met...or, one of those they've lived in. There were a lot.

Elsewhere...someone's bowling! No, there's more than one ball—someone's playing pool! No, wrong equipment...some form of space pool bowling, Bijaz vs. Alia, who would prefer it if he stopped talking like that. Hayt watches rather than plays, wearing some absurd, restrictive black armor in which he likely found himself unable to throw a cue ball.

Later, Alia tell Hayt that she suspects Bijaz is up to something and is amused at how he channels Spock. He has no memory of his previous life, but the Tleilaxu did make him a mentat—of course he's going to.

"I see you in there. You can get your memories back."

"No, I can't."

She has a slight idea of what she's talking about, though—after all, she is pre-born (see other liveblog). She leaves him standing alone in the hallway—ah, now comes the UST.

And that's where I'm leaving off for tonight! brb sleep

edited 4th Mar '10 11:42:18 PM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

No, this is not dead. This is being updated right now.

Where we left off: UST. Where we pick up: crazy hats! Princess Wencesia's crown looks fine from the front and could have done without the radom, shapeless wires coming put of the back.

But she is not happy about how the stone burner failed to fully kill Paul. Oh, well. If that didn't do it, there's still Bijaz, and there's still Hayt. A trap, remember?

Meanwhile, on—Caladan? Isn't it a little early for this? Paul's childhood home, though, which looked like the inside of the Death Star and an office's illegitimate child in the previous film, but has been revised into the sea planet it's supposed to be. Why here? Why so soon?

Oh, Paul's mother is being told about the stone burner incident, and she is not happy. She arranges the Guild to bring her to Arrakis ASAP—what she plans to do is a mystery to me; in the book, she didn't have a speaking part.

Speaking of Arrakis, back there, Paul is having the same dream sequence again, with Leto II in it, again (might as well say so; the movie spoils the next installment even more). He is brought back to the present by Hayt, who asks if he's all right. Yeah...only for now, as Paul reminds Hayt that, well, he's a trap. No, not that kind.

Hayt doesn't appear to know what to thing. Come on; show me some personality. I know from the book that lack of memories does not equal too quiet. Oh, wait; shit. I just said what people often say to me, minus the amnesia. I ought to try to enjoy this introvert.

Stilgar then interrupts with an important message: the old emperor is dead.

On Salusa Secundus—aaaaaa whyyy?? Of all the costumes to carry over from the previous film, why the tinfoil one with the enormous sleeves? And why bury him in it??

After the funeral, Wencesia speaks angrily with some guild members, including a fishlike steersman. Damn you, she says, for making us pay for that bloody expensive stone burner when we could've just sent Shaddam in his royal finery!

Serious, though: she plans to destroy Paul economically as well as physically by bringing a sandworm to Salusa Secundus to see if it will start producing spice, draining power from Arrakis's monopoly on it. Maybe it'll work...eh. That's getting a little desperate, methinks.

Nonetheless, one cut later, someone has planed a thumper in the desert, and it has the predicted result (lovely convenient pothole to have around). They trap the incoming worm within a moat—they're allergic to water, pretty much.

Eek—as many teeth as always. Let's see if it survives the trip.

Back in the palace, Chani's pregnancy is progressing unusually fast due to consumption of spice—side effect of avoiding the palace's food. It may not be entirely safe.

And elsewhere, Alia is having problems of her own—part of being pre-born is having copies of many, many souls sharing your head. Hayt asks if she is feeling sick. No, she says—more complicated. She is suffering extra right now because she attempted to develop prescience to assist her brother by also consuming spice, but went a bit far. Hayt goes for a doctor.

Or, he would like to. Somewhere, Bijaz is humming, and it binds him to the spot. What the hell? This the hell, explains Bijaz: we programmed you to kill Paul, remember? Bijaz is here to press "start", and the humming is both him and the sound of Hayt being played like a piano, keys and pedals.

Timing, sir, timing... Girl is dying here.

But the gist of it: next time Paul approaches Hayt and says "she is gone", stab. Resistance is futile.

Bijaz walks out and stops the humming, leaving Hayt to unsucessfully try and recollect what just happened.

So his trigger was only four simple notes, though...? One can do better than that. That's like giving your computer a really short password—not secure enough. It's not inconcievable that some nobody in the palace may have whistled it by accident once. "Eh...? Why is the ghola staring at me with his eyes glazed over and his head at a tilt, and why for the last two hours?"

But—Alia suddenly sits up. False alarm, I guess; she's fine. She's fine enough to kiss Hayt with minimal preceding subtext, anyway. I liked the angry kiss with too much subtext on the landing pad better. Heh; looks like he wasn't expecting that, either.

And that will be all. Goodnight.

edited 7th Mar '10 11:51:45 PM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

Oh, no! There's more!

Paul speaks to Irulan, not treating her all that nicely for what she did to Chani, but it turns out that he's foreseen Chani dying in childbirth. So, he's here to thank Irulan for prolonging her life. He thanks her by giving her a kiss, which upsets her because she has feelings for him that he does not return. Kinda sad, really. She certainly wasn't bad enough to deserve it in these two films.

Later, everyone leaves for the desert to have the child, though Alia stays behind to take care of administrative business.

Today, business means arresting some employee named Korba. No, she does not allow him to finish having sex with his girlfriend. He was involved in some traitor-type thing we don't know about yet.

Out somewhere far away, Chani is on a fairly obvious soundstage talking to Hayt about how things were when she lived out here—because listening to everyone vent is his job. It's right in the description—second line on the third page of the contract, next to the check box.

Of course this is when she goes into labor, as, according to the seventeenth line of page four, he is also designated to show up at exactly the right time, all the time.

Paul will be with her shortly, Hayt reassures her. Someone else can fetch a doctor; it didn't go well the last time he tried. Hey, wait—she points out that he referred to Paul by his first name. Either he read line one of page one, or he remembered it.

Oh, yeah; baby. Remember? He carries her inside.

Obligatory montage follows, with a bunch of scenes from several of places. Hey; not the worst accompanying song in the world, but a bit too happy for a dying people montage. Heh; they just used the same footage a second time.

Death count: Korba (1, execution), the steersman (2, execution), the old Reverend Mother (3, execution), Chani (4, childbirth), twins Leto II and Ghanima Atreides (-1 and -2)

Hayt brings Paul the bad and the good news, and we get to see how much taller Hayt is than his master (lots).

Wait—Chani isn't quite dead yet. She has only enough energy left to say her lover's name before dying. Paul's grief gets in the way of his prescience, leaving him completely blind. He stumbles into Hayt's arms muttering "she's gone."

Well, shit.

As Bijaz looks on, Hayt's conditioning kicks in. Before anything can be done, he draws his knife and, as the late Baron Harkonnen would say, reunites Paul with Chani. A stunned Hayt is led out by Bijaz, presumably to be taken back to Tleilax and vaporized, purpose served. Fade to black.

END OF PART ONE

...no, no, not really. Really, Hayt catches himself at the last nanosecond and tosses the knife into Bijaz instead. Forcing him to kill his old friend broke his brain, allowing Duncan Idaho's memories to seep back in through the fractures, unprecedented. We know what this means—from this point forward, the guy begins acting!

But there's more—Scytale, as Otheym's daughter, appears and takes the bloodied knife, then points it at the babies. Eek—don't drip blood on the sheets! They're infants; shit needs to be sanitary! Oh, wait; yeah.

Scytale postpones the murder to turn back into Scytale and expresses his surprise at how the whole ghola plan took an unexpected direction. "What do you remember?" he asks. Duncan throws another knife in three...two...one...

...nope. At Paul's order, he just answers that he recalls everything.

Ha. Just as Planned—Scytale is not expressing surprise at all, but pleasure at his little experiment working. He can bring back Chani for Paul this way, but for a price—the whole damn empire. Eeeeeeeeeeerrrmmmmmm...bit high, ain't that?

Duncan (whilst acting): Can I kill him now?

Paul: No.

Paul has yet another vision of an older Leto II, who looks a lot like Daniel Radcliffe (Oh, man; I am going to have so much fun making Harry Potter jokes in parts two and three...). He and his sister are pre-born, so they know what's going on, and he wants to help. Use my eyes, he offers, a few more times than we need to get the point. Have I mentioned yet that that kid is a walking shirtless scene? Because he is.

Paul takes the hint, and he uses the moment of sight to stab Scytale, killing him, then reverting immediately back to blindness.

With his prescience finally turned off, he figures, it's time to leave the twins and follow the Fremen ritual for blind people—walk into the desert and sacrifice himself to the worms. Alia can raise these two.

Speaking of Alia, she and Duncan were not told where he was going until it was too late to stop him. They meet, upset, on a palace balcony—no one knows which way he went. Well, at least they still have each other—smooch.

END OF PART ONE

That's also it for the Dune Messiah segment. I liked the book, really, despite the massive downgrade in pace. How I found 300 pages of mostly characters standing around and talking about their feelings exciting may be attributed to my latent girly side.

I'll be back next time for the titular story.

edited 8th Mar '10 11:43:57 PM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

For the end of Dune Messiah, one more thing, which I did with the first installment just for your entertainment—some cover art of the book in question, because it can get quite trippy/I found a gigantic spam sheet of them.

Britain, and the colorful version.

Brazil—oo, shiny.

Netherlands

France, in which most of the covers follow a distinct nudity theme.

Germany, where they get illustrations.

Italy—yeah; bit boring.

Romania—whatever the hell is going on. Pyramid? Some kind of background...thing? I want some of whatever the artist was on.

US (olde)

What the hell; have the whole page and see several places using pictures of charaters from the 1984 film who aren't even in the respective books, Israel's badass eye theme, Japanese covers that look like◊ Interstella 5555, and 40-odd years of spoiling God Emperor of Dune over and over again. I have this one. Colorful, eh?

Back tomorrow...hopefully.

edited 9th Mar '10 12:35:17 AM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

He's a GIANT WORM! The empire is being led by a GIANT WORM!

I wonder how they are going to handle Leto's bonding with the sandtrout.

edited 9th Mar '10 7:01:24 AM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds

I seem to recall I really found Korba's death hilarious/awesome; something about the Big "NO!" face he makes as he's dragged screaming into a still.

• Tossing a guy into an oven...makes Paul's Hitler self-comparison a even funnier.
  • Stilgar "Hitler? Twenty million; not bad. Was he one of the Sarduakar?"

And man, I would love to see an actual Dune Anime. Might be an interesting troper project.

• I'm not sure if ''Studio Gainax Presents Frank Herbert's Dune" would be a good thing or a bad thing.
  • Their art style would be...wrong. Not right for this series.
    • Maybe Hayao Miyazaki? Too much desert, but...that art style feels more suitable.

edited 9th Mar '10 1:26:15 PM by DrRockopolis

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars

@Myrmidon: Probably nothing too memorable. While the effects are nicer in this movie, it does back off quite a bit when it comes to ones that would have to be really fancy.

When I read this, my immediate thought was "I call Godwin's Law." On the book. Clearly, TV Tropes is ruining my life at a good pace.

Also:

Upside of an anime: Best liveblog material ever

Downside of an anime: Best liveblog material ever

All that needs be said on that, I think.

edited 9th Mar '10 10:59:54 PM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

Explanation: It's the week before finals.

Don't worry; it's not dead. Just the week before finals.

Ce ne pas un post.

o hi

Just keeping this from dying and saying that this liveblog will continue once I get out of school next month. It proved to be too time consuming for now, but then, I'll have plenty of time. See you then!

Ce ne pas un post.

Yeah, that didn't work out very well, but now I'm finally picking this back up.

Stay tuned for an update later tonight!

edited 21st Nov '10 10:43:28 PM by SPACETRAVEL

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion

We're starting Part Two of the film, that is, where Dune Messiah ends and the actual Children of Dune begins. So, unless this new media player fucks up on me, let's begin...

title card blah blah blah narration that implies that Leto and Ghanima are aged up ten-ish years in this adaptation blah

It's not just the grand tradition of all Dune movies—this time, they probably did it because Leto and Ghanima, the main characters, are only nine years old. Pre-born (see rest of liveblog for what that is), but requiring really young actors. It must have been too much trouble.

And sure enough, here's Leto, who looks and sounds like Daniel Radcliffe. WMG: [insert superpowered Dune faction here] are wizards! It explains everything.

Leto is sitting out in the desert, where he opens up a butterfly carrier (No, seriously—he has brought a butterfly with him that comes out of a butterfly-shaped holder. Someone should patent these.) and lets the insect stretch its wings. He then has a sketchily animated vision of his father telling him to pursue some mysterious Golden Path.

He is then distracted by his twin sister Ghanima, who looks at least ten years older than him. They comment that since where they live has been terraformed a bit, the sandworms don't come near there anymore, fearing the water. He tells his sister about the vision and worries that the planet is changing too quickly. First they wanted the planet to be greener, and now it's moving that way too fast—guess you can't please everyone.

They're also worried about turning out like Alia. Since Dune Messiah, she's apparently changed for the worse.

Just then, Irulan, who looks younger than Ghanima, shows up, with some ornithopters. The twins have to go now and greet a visitor—Jessica, their grandmother and Paul's mother.

Midway through the trip back to civilization, they spot something below. Leto steers off course to investigate—three sandworms, which have all appeared at once to show us how many teeth they have. Leto...just wanted to look at them? Well, not that he gets to see them often anymore. He expresses concern about their endangered species status.

The worms do not show the same concern for his life, and one attempts to eat the ornithopter. If the twins are pre-born/have all of their ancestors' memories, shouldn't they remember that worms will do this from the first movie? As in the first movie, they escape narrowly.

So they go to the capital, Arakeen, where Alia resides.

Here, she is constantly troubled by the voices of the spirits the pre-born have living in their head. The danger of being pre-born is that one might take over one's mind; perhaps getting overwhelmed this way is the first step.

D'aww, she is now married to Duncan.

What Alia doesn't have that her niece and nephew had, and that her father had, is prescience, and she appears obsessed with the absence of this power in her.

She also isn't sure about the visit of her mother, who she suspects is up to something.

Meanwhile, just above the atmosphere, Jessica waits in her ship. She is with Halleck—since I'm reading the book, too, as I'm doing this liveblog, I'm not yet sure if they have more of a relationship going on than as employer and servant. They note the political turmoil going on below, wrought with assassination plots, and regret that they didn't wait until things settled down to come. Too bad—this is Dune. Such things don't ever settle down.

And that's all for the update. Back tomorrow!

edited 22nd Nov '10 12:36:00 AM by SPACETRAVEL

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion

Man, I haven't seen or read Dune in ages...I should start again.

And to be fair, this being Dune, even when things do settle down, they still suck.

EDIT; I still wonder where Voldermort was getting his supply of Spice...

edited 22nd Nov '10 7:19:04 PM by DrRockopolis

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars

He's importing it through a deep space league of Dalek smugglers, of course.

Continue:

---

So, suddenly, we've got a couple of people running through a dimly lit cave, being chased by something that doesn't sound human. Leto and Ghanima, and it's too early for this scene.

But wait—those weren't the real twins, and this was only a test. This is Salusa Secundus, the prison planet the old emperor's house was exiled to, and his descendant, Princess Wensicia, is just training some tigers to go after the real twins. On actual people—clearly these are villains.

Since Dune Messiah, Wensicia has lost her Romulan hairstyle and grown even more intent on reconquering the galaxy for the Corrinos.

Back on Arrakis, Leto watches a sandworm passing by through a palace window—it is in an enclosure surrounded by a moat of computer-animated water. Shh, don't say out loud that it's not real water. If it hears, it'll break through the moat and eat everyone!

And Leto appears to have gotten a haircut—so much for looking like Harry Potter. Wait—this isn't Leto at all, just someone who looks annoyingly like him: Wensicia's child, now a teenager. And we're still on Salusa Secundus. Apologies, but the settings just look too much alike.

The kid doesn't share the same desire to retake the galaxy as his mother, believing her hunger for power to be unwise. Or something. He's a terrible actor—reminds me of myself when I used to try out for plays in high school.

Now back on Arrakis, Alia tells her niece and nephews to behave around their grandmother, convinced that Jessica is coming as a threat to them for being pre-born. And, first ridiculous costume of the story: the collar on Ghanima's formal wear should not resist gravity that way.

The twins wonder if Alia is losing her mind; this paranoia isn't like her.

Waiting for Jessica's ship to land, Irulan finally, finally gets some of the sympathy she deserves from Ghanima when she reveals her nervousness about meeting Jessica, who had no respect for her. It made more sense in the books, where Irulan wasn't involved in anything important, but in this film series, her role is greatly changed and full of Rousseau was Right, so it seemed unfair that she was scorned the same way as she was in the books in this version.

LOL, Duncan still has that ridiculous armor from all the way back in Dune Messiah.

Jessica's ship finally lands, and all of the onlookers bow. Or hide how hard they're trying not to laugh. It's really clear that Jessica hasn't been here in a while—no matter what one's galactic or religious status is, wearing anything with a humongous fur collar to a desert planet is a big no-no. Especially if paired with a close-fitting hat and long sleeves.

She and her old friend Stilgar greet each other, and her and Alia, who can't hold back just a little bit of joy at seeing her grandmother again.

Jessica delivers some sort of Fremen speech and turns to go inside, but then someone shouts "Mother!" and she turns around.

It's some mysterious cloaked hobo, who meant "mother" as in "Reverend Mother", but even though I haven't got far enough in the book to know for sure, I'm going to guess that this guy is definitely Paul because that was the most un-subtle foreshadowing ever.

Paul This guy shouts that Muad'dib's original religion has been corrupted by his descendants, and that he renounces it—as it wasn't yet obvious enough who this is. The guy also claims that Muad'dib has died, but we know full well how many people have claimed that before and been wrong. His parting word is that this city will fall and be covered by sand.

Then, a shot is fired from the crowd at one of the nobles, and the whole event dissolves in screaming chaos. Everyone flees.

Fortunately, the culprit is caught within minutes, surrounded by palace guards with lasers. Unfortunately, said culprit then reveals a bomb, which he sets off before anyone can shoot. He, the guards, and a whole alley are consumed by the explosion.

And that's all for tonight!

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion

Even though at times it does stray from the books, and the acting isn't the greatest and nor are the effects, I do still like this because it does tell a good story. Some of the more ridiculous aspects aside. I had to try very hard not to laugh at some of Stilgar's more ham-tastic lines.