Corrupt-a-wish.

She wins the Gym Challenge, but Chairman Rose disqualifies her shortly afterward.

I wish I could go where no human has gone before.

Granted. No human has ever gone to the centre of the sun before, so that's where you go. Pity you didn't wish for protection from the radiation or several-million-degree temperatures.

I wish I always knew exactly what to say to people to make them like me.

Granted, it's a piece of Black Speech that makes them compulsively worship you, ignoring all other responsibilities including basic sustenance.

I wish for gdjsl;kfgjal;kgjal;kgja;lkgjal;dksfj;agkjgl;kfdjl;k7ggdflkgfjlf;kgjadl;kgja;lkgjadl;kgjal;kgjadl;kgjal;kgjal;kjga;lkgj;aflgkdjgklgjfa;kglajf;alkgjal;kgja;lgjal;gj;lagkjl;fakaglfgjalg;kjag;lkgjg9al;kjgfal;gj;lfgk.

Granted. The spider that captured and switched places with you finds out all of your credit card info and social security number from your computer, essentially allowing him/her to impersonate you.

I wish all movie trailers used this type of music.

Granted. This is the only music that exists in the world now - hence why all movie trailers use it.

I wish for more time to think on my wish.

Granted. Time - along with everyone and everything on it - freezes to a stand-still, leaving you to age a slow and lonely life.

I wish Ocean Group dubbed Soul Eater rather than Funimation.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Apr 24th 2021 at 10:48:37 AM

Granted, it still has the same problems, and Funimation's problems spread to Ocean Group's other dubs now that they have been put so close together in the wish-theoretical multiverse.

I wish this wish had a lasting influence on genie culture.

Granted. Genies everywhere laugh at the fool who got the Earth destroyed with this wish.

I wish for this wish to turn out exactly as I intend it.

Granted. You are a Card-Carrying Villain. This wish results in you winning while everyone else, including your former friends and family, suffer the consequences.

I wish Thanos was played by Tommy Wiseau.

Granted, turns out xkcd was right about Tommy Wiseau being D.B. Cooper and the entire MCU has to for shelved for Disney to avoid association with airplane hijacking.

I wish Bart Simpson was God. (This wish was based on a reddit anecdote where a young kid who was asked to draw what they thought God looked like in Sunday School drew Bart Simpson since all they knew about The Simpsons was it started with an angelic choir in clouds and kids weren't allowed to know things about it)

Edited by DeepFiemott on Apr 28th 2021 at 9:49:04 AM

God is a fucking murderous psychopath with ego problems and saying god sucks get you smited. Heaven is a place where smiles are painted on souls

I wish we recreated war hammer 40k

Edited by Immortalartisan on Apr 28th 2021 at 9:54:21 AM

...You seriously want to be stuck inside Warhammer 40k's universe? Fine, would you prefer being eaten by Tyranids, tortured by Dark Eldar, or captured by Chaos? Choose wisely.

I wish to know the answer to every question I ask.

Edited by Arcane101 on Apr 28th 2021 at 3:40:45 PM

Granted. You lose the ability to ask questions.

I wish Fandom Rivalry weren't a thing.

Granted. They're all insufferable. Especially the one show that only you and your buddies like. You know the one.

I wish I hadn't stepped on that Butterfly of Doom.

Granted. Instead your future self shows up and gets into a fight. Seems you have now wiped out your future family from existance -wait, there's another. Oh that one did time in prison. And other!

Soon you are trapped by alternate selves that wanted you to curb-stomp that butterfly.

I wish that beige computer cases were still in style.....

Granted. They contain toxic antimony compounds for some reason, poisoning anyone who buys them.

I wish I didn't have that much work, and I could relax and work on my hobbies.

Granted, most of the work you were assigned goes to someone less competent, who screws up enough to cause a civilization-ruining economic chain reaction.

I wish nobody would entice that lamb I left snowy as lowsy hears rap up.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Apr 30th 2021 at 9:46:37 AM

Granted. No one entices the lamb out of the snowy fields, so while you're busy rapping, it freezes to death. When people learn your negligence was the result of this wish, your reputation is ruined - animal rights supporters are appalled, and everyone else thinks you're an idiot for wasting your wish on something like that.

I wish I could be part of your world.

Granted. My my...that's a nice singing voice you've got there. I hope you don't miss it too much, because that's the price you have to pay to be part of my world...and you can never go back.

I wish I wasn't an Extreme Doormat.

Granted. You're just a regular doormat - literally.

I wish for the ability to enter, interact with, and exit any story.

Granted, instead you're Bullying a Dragon.

I wish for a coke.

Granted. You get a stack of crack cocaine. Said stack has some plastic explosives placed in it, and it promptly explodes. No points for guessing how you end up.

I wish Wayne Static and Chester Bennington were still alive.

Granted. They're paralysed and in constant agony with no hope of recovery, yet unable to die.

I wish for full control over my own emotions.

Edited by NineTailedCat on Apr 30th 2021 at 6:32:40 AM

Granted. You’re The Stoic, and an Empty Shell of your former self, unable to feel full empathy, romantic or otherwise.

I wish Jack Black had played Robotnik rather than Jim Carrey.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on May 1st 2021 at 4:15:56 PM

Granted. While Black's portrayal lacks Adaptational Jerkass traits and remains Affably Evil, he is also seen as less menacing, and thus drags the movie down a bit due to a unimpressive performance. This results in him being Demoted to Dragon in the sequel.

I wish Family Guy was Animesque.