Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. The TMNT appear so does all their local knockoffs all over the globe.

I wish I could recruit and assemble a Justice League/The Avengers-style team of child/teen heroes who have extraordinary abilities and superpowers from several works of fiction such as Aster, Harry Potter, Power Pack, Ash Ketchum, the Animorphs and other characters to thwart an alien invasion by Deoxys and his army of clones in a meteorite.

Granted, they're all stuck in an internal conflict and they fail to work together.

I wish I can bring back the Ancient Sparta to life.

Granted, you're kicked down into the pit by a Spartan though.

I wish nobody could wish for any baked goods.

Granted, but now there are just no more baked goods, period. At all. No cakes, no pies, nothin'.

I wish I could move things with my mind!

You don't really have full control over that, so you wind up being crushed by the first heavy object you try to move.

I wish I had a longer attention span.

edited 21st Jun '18 8:51:10 AM by atimnie

Granted, your attention span is so great that you can never, ever stop paying attention to something after you first start paying attention to it.

I wish that the next poster would make a really funny response to this post of mine.

Granted. The post is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny that you die

I wish for a baked good that is made out of normal ingredients, is tasty but not too tasty, is not expired, does not have poison, and is made and cooked within a reasonable time. With a lemonade, subject to the same agreements.

edited 21st Jun '18 5:47:29 PM by Playing_with_boy

You get it, all right...in the face.

I wish Ragtime was the dominant music style again.

Granted. The Values Dissonance provided with the general old-timeyness causes a massive backlash in the public especially new-fangled kids try copying it alongside with the general stuff.

I wish we lived in a world where countries and borders are based on ethnic and religious lines and populations.

Granted, this causes people to be less diverse so they get along with other groups far worse then they do in real life leading to human extinction.

I wish that The Elder Scrolls 6 will be really really good.

It is so good you die.

I wish for Fast Eddie to come here.

He takes a brief look through the comments and locks the whole site down.

I wish Tiger Woods never had that embarrassing accident that seemed to strip him of his mojo and his golf game.

Granted, instead his golf mojo gets stronger and stronger until he challenges God to a game of golf to decide who gets to control the universe and wins. By this point he's mad with power so he rebuilds the universe into a golf themed dystopia that lasts for a trillion years until he loses control of the universe in a game of basketball at which point the universe becomes a basketball themed dystopia for the next trillion years.

I wish that I had the greatest superpower in all of fiction except that it works in real life.

edited 22nd Jun '18 4:07:02 PM by TheBlueHour

Granted, but you get no Required Secondary Powers and also you have massive Power Incontinence.

I wish I had a girlfriend of my same age who I get along with really well, who loves me back.

Granted, but she has an extremely jealous, and extremely violent, ex-boyfriend. Hope you have health and medical insurance, you'll need it.

I wish I didn't look older than I am.

Granted. Hope you like looking like a toddler forever!

I wish that I could hug every cat.

Granted. But "Every Cat" includes lions, tigers, pumas, and other big cats.

I wish for some really comfortable pillows.

edited 24th Jun '18 3:29:22 PM by Some_Person

Granted, their so comfortable that the mob breaks into your house, breaks your kneecaps, and steals them before selling them to a Third World dictator for 550 billion dollars.

I wish that I had a Healing Factor that did not malfunction in any way.

Granted. You die from a heart attack, and your Healing Factor can't save you.

I wish (Pop Team) Epic Games would pretend that Fortnite Battle Royale was their plan for the game all along.

Granted. The studio who made Battle Royale sues them for trademark infringement.

I wish advertisements didn't exist.

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Jul 14th 2018 at 6:19:41 AM

Granted. Unfortunately now all companies make far less money as they can't advertise their products. The world economy collapses because of the loss of so much money bringing about the end of the world. You're eaten first.

I wish to blow up.

You are now a ten ton blimp. Gotta be more precise in your language.

I wish more people were precise in their language.

Everyone is precise but not concise. Therefore, nobody can understand each other due to the impenetrable fog of verbosity that plagues their speech.

I wish Skyrim was completely free of glitches.

The game doesn't have any glitches in it...not even of the Good Bad Bugs variety. Several Tumblrs and blogs dedicated to amusing Skyrim bugs go silent within days.

I wish Sony gave the Vita a better chance to catch on outside Japan, damn the smartphone market.

The smartphone market doens't care to be damned. It fails.

I wish to live in another world.