Gavin: Why? That's what I don't understand Tim, why? I mean- what's so special about Laura?
Tim: Well, she's efficient, people like her, she's done it before. No, I can't think.
Gavin: (Scoffs) At least if I was manager of this place you wouldn't have to worry about me running off after a couple o' months because I was pregnant.
Tim: Touch wood eh?
Gavin: I could've gotten this place off the ground Tim! I could've made things happen! I, I could've made the place hum, it's so unfair! [Gavin forcefully hits a croquet ball which rolls out the door, under the railing, and cracks Colin on the head, knocking him unconscious]
Tim: And she doesn't hit people on the head with croquet balls.
— Gavin Featherly complaining to Tim Whistler about Laura being next in line to become manager of the leisure centre.
- Date First Aired: 12/12/1994
England, 1941, and a bomber pilot has dropped a bomb. Cut to the present day, and Julie is giving an invitation to Colin for her wedding reception and bun fight. They briefly discuss who could be Brittas' successor but they don't actually know. As Colin is putting up a picture of Brittas to remember him by, he ends up excavating a bomb.
Meanwhile, Brittas is packing for his job at Brussels, when Colin tries to inform him of the bomb. However, before he can get any further, Brittas tells him that he's going to have to solve his own problems now. Colin spends the episode trying to get the bomb removed but is eventually accidentally knocked unconscious by Gavin.
As Laura is cleaning up an angry message, Helen shows up, having decided not to go to Brussels and to stay with John Rawlinson. However, she wants Laura to tell Brittas this since he likes her, although she doesn't want to.
Meanwhile, a man comes into the centre. He's named Trap, is from the Department of Social Services, and has gone to investigate claims of children being kept in cupboards and drawers, something which Carole confirms.
At Brittas' office, things start to get.... weird. Laura comes in, professes her love for Brittas, and soon starts kissing him passionately. Then she comes into the office again. As it turns out, Brittas was having a passionate daydream about her and is disappointed when she doesn't actually state her undying love.
Carole has decided to lock herself in the cupboard, since von Trap is trying to take the children away. However, he hears her and the children singing and is convinced to take her to Austria to give singing lessons to his children.
Helen goes through the photos for their new future life and realizes that she wants to go with Brittas after all. Afterwards, Brittas offers Laura his job as manager. However, Laura tells him that she's leaving the country to raise a child with Farrell in America. Regardless, everyone is due to have a happy ending; Julie is getting married, Tim and Gavin are considering getting the Brittas' family house (and are due to become Manager and Deputy Manager, respectively), Linda has been accepted for Theological College, and Brittas, Helen, Laura, and Carole are all leaving the country to a better fate. Brittas starts to get cold feet but Laura convinces him to go on.
During this, Colin busts in but can't remember what he needed to say, leading to the bomb going to Brussels...
Tropes in this episode:
- Amnesia Danger: Colin ends up forgetting what he was doing the exact moment he was hit in the head by a croquet ball. Unfortunately, that something is disposing of a bomb.
- Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Brittas is visibly disappointed when his Daydream Surprise of Laura confessing his love for him and snogging him doesn't come to pass. Granted, he tries asking if Laura has said everything she needs to say, but she just gets annoyed, seeing that the real reason she was there was to tell him Helen was thinking of remaining behind in the UK.
- Big Fancy House: It’s revealed that Brittas' new job involves him and Helen staying at three big houses. It's what helps convince Helen to stay with Brittas.
- Breaking the Glass Ceiling: It's revealed in this episode that Linda desires to become the first female Archbishop of Canterbury.
- But Now I Must Go:
- Laura reveals to Brittas that she's departing for America five weeks after the events of the episode. Carole too is given a better opportunity in Austria.
- At the end of the episode, Brittas gets cold feet about leaving. However, Laura invokes this trope and advises him to go, arguing that he's done all he could in Whitbury and that he's needed more in Europe.
- Chekhov's Gun: Before Von Trap shows up at the centre, Carole can be seen handing a guitar in through the cupboard behind reception, which proves important later on when she uses it to teach her children to sing Edelweiss and allow Von Trap the chance to give her a job as Governess.
- Chekhov's Skill: Ben's musical skills shown off in "Brussels Calling" end up helping him and his sisters stay with his mother.
- Continuity Nod:
- Tim notes that Laura has previously taken up the role of Manager.
- Helen still has the moped and tacky "Hi, I'm Helen" helmet from "An Inspector Calls". Additionally, Carole mentions that leaving a lit lightbulb in the same drawer as a baby is not a mistake you make twice, a lesson that she had learned in said episode.
- Helen is hoping to remain behind in the UK to stay with John Rawlinson from "Brussels Calling". Additionally, it's noted that Jonathan has only been recently allowed back to school after his suspension for getting his mother to do his schoolwork.
- Curse Cut Short: The message left by the WI Craft Group, which has already been partially wiped away when we see it.DIE BRITTAS YOU FU—
- Daydream Surprise: Brittas has one of these where Laura declares her love for him and snogs him. Naturally, the audience doesn’t find out that this is a daydream until it immediately cuts to the door opening again and the real Laura comes in.
- Declining Promotion: When Brittas is heading off to Brussels, he offers Laura his job as manager of the centre. However, Laura declines as she's pregnant and Michael wants her to go to Chicago to raise the child.
- Defacement Insult: Laura is first seen scrubbing away an insulting message left on one of the exterior doors of the centre reading "DIE BRITTAS YOU FU—".Laura: We think it was the WI Crafts Group. They had a bit of a lecture yesterday on hanging their coats on proper hooks.
- Distant Prologue: The episode begins with a very short scene set in 1941, depicting a bomber plane dropping the bomb which will become important during the episode.
- The End... Or Is It?: Although most of the plot is resolved, the episode ends with the unexploded bomb being sent off to Brussels. It does eventually get resolved though in "Back with a Bang".
- Expy: Wilheim von Trap is this to Captain Georg von Trapp of The Sound of Music.
- Famous for Being First: Linda is hoping to become the first female Archbishop of Canterbury, a role which she manages to achieve by 2019 according to the (then intended) Distant Finale "In the Beginning...".
- Fly Crazy: Colin is briefly annoyed by a fly and accidentally gives himself a Groin Attack whilst he's attempting to get rid of it.
- Forceful Kiss: Brittas' Daydream Surprise starts with Brittas being entirely oblivious to Laura desperately trying to tell him how much she loves him. Finally, she gets fed up with this and starts kissing him passionately.
- Foreshadowing: Gavin tells Tim that one reason he would be preferable over Laura would be because at least he wouldn't run off after a few months due to pregnancy. Sure enough, several scenes later, Laura reveals to Brittas that she intends to leave the centre to raise a child in Chicago.
- Groin Attack: Colin punches himself in the dick to kill a fly that was distracting him in his attempts to move a bomb out of the centre.
- Happy Ending: As Linda points out, everyone is due their happy ending - Carole is becoming a music teacher and governess, Gavin is due to become Manager and is interested in buying the old Brittas' family house, Brittas and Helen is due to be heading off to Brussels, with Helen looking forward to her rich extravagant lifestyle, Julie is getting married to a rich guy who owns a brewery, Linda has gotten into theological college, and Laura is due to be heading off to America to raise a child. Becomes
Harsher in Hindsight when the show was picked up for Series 6 and 7 and some of these fates were reversed in a tragic way. - Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Julie throws a party that nobody can leave until they've all been sick twice. She's also very happy that her new husband owns a brewery.
- Helping Would Be Killstealing: Brittas points this out to Colin, noting that as he's leaving for Brussels and that there would be no one to help him, Colin would need to start solving his own problems. This does not end well.
- Innocently Insensitive: Brittas' attempt to reassure Carole involves him telling her that orphanages are much better than they were in the olden days and suggesting that the potential families her children would be placed with would be better parents. For this, Carole snaps at him.
- Internal Deconstruction: Whilst Carole's habit of keeping her children in cupboards and drawers had been previously been portrayed negatively (mainly in putting her at risk of being fired and in how her oldest child Ben has grown to prefer cramped spaces over open ones), it was for the most part Played for Laughs and utilised as a source of Black Comedy. This episode shows the real-world consequences when an unseen member of public alerts the Department of Social Services into trying to take Carole's children into foster care, with only Carole's talents in music allowing her to keep them.
- I Surrender, Suckers: Brittas' strategy for luring Carole out of the cupboard is to pretend that he and the staff have given up and fake walking away from her, giving her the fake pretence that it was safe for her to come out. He is unable to put this into action however due to Colin's injury.
- The Lad-ette: Julie throws a big booze-up in the staff room.
- Love Confession: Subverted. Laura seems to directly reveal to Brittas that she loves him right before passionately kissing him. It's only afterwards that the audience finds that it was all a Daydream Surprise of Brittas, with Laura never admitting her love in the end.
- May–December Romance: Carole has one with the much older Herr von Trap.
- Mistakes Are Not the End of the World: When Colin worries about making a mistake, Brittas reacts by informing him that mistakes are how people learn and to go out and make a mistake for his own, not allowing Colin to tell him that the thing he's worried about messing up is disposing of a bomb.Colin: But if I make a mistake...Mr. Brittas: That's how we learn, Colin. By making mistakes.Colin: I know, but...Mr. Brittas: Go on, Colin. Get out there and make a mistake.
- Never My Fault: Gavin shifts the blame for having knocked out Colin, claiming that it was two boys playing on the lawn who were quite far away.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:
- If it weren't for Brittas telling Colin to sort out the bomb problem on his own, chances are it wouldn't have ended up in Brussels in the first place.
- If Gavin hadn't accidentally hit Colin in the head with a croquet ball, then Colin would have been able to dispose of the bomb safely.
- Noodle Incident: This has not been the last time that Carole's tried to lock herself in the cupboard, although Brittas does not elaborate on this.
- One-Shot Character: Wilheim von Trap, Jessica Parkinson, and Emily Parkinson.
- One-Word Title: The name of the episode is "UXB".
- Only in It for the Money: Helen is hoping to remain behind in the UK to be with Rawlinson, but quickly changes her tune when she finds that she'll live a luxurious life in Brussels.
- The Power of Rock: Carole and her children's singing convinces von Trap to not only stop trying to take her children away from her, but to also offer her a job as a governess in Austria.
- Shout-Out: Mr. von Trap and his children are based on the portrayal of the von Trapp family and Carole practises the song "Edelweiss" with her children from within the cupboard behind reception.
- Tap on the Head: Colin is knocked out by a croquet ball to the head, although other than the fact that he can't remember that he's trying to dispose of a bomb, he's fine otherwise. Even then, "Back with a Bang" would later establish that he eventually regained his memories of the incident sometime after.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Carole is given a better opportunity (namely the opportunity to move to Austria with von Trap) and doesn't lose it at the end of the episode, although it will be taken from her anyway by the time of "Back with a Bang".
- Time to Move: Helen initially does not want to leave for Brussels, arguing with Brittas about the children's education and the dog (although it should be noted that the actual reason she doesn't want to move is that she wants to live with John Rawlinson). She's convinced to leave after seeing the luxurious lifestyle that she's going to live, although the events of the next episode mean that they don't move after all.
- Uncomfortable Elevator Moment: Colin ends up in an elevator with a mother and her child. On top of the fact that Colin is carrying an unexploded bomb, there's also the child hitting on it with a rattler.
- Un-Confession: We finally get a Love Confession from Laura, only for it to be simply a daydream of Brittas.
- Unseen No More: Whilst Emily was very briefly seen last series, this marks the first on-screen appearance of her twin sister Jessica.
- Vagueness Is Coming: Colin tries to warn everyone about the bomb at Julie's party, but due to amnesia induced by a croquet ball colliding with his head, all that he can remember is that a "terrible disaster" is going to be inflicted on them and that they're "all going to die" unless they do something which he has unfortunately forgotten.
- Voiceover Letter: Whilst Colin is trying to excavate the bomb from its original place, his voice can be heard in a voiceover reading a book he was using to figure out which type of bomb it is.
