Season 6, Episode 09
Neil Simon's Lover's Retreat
"Why do we need new friends? I have Gus, you have... whoever your friends are..."
Directed by Brad Turner
Written by Carlos Jacott
Juliet and Shawn have planned a romantic getaway of a weekend at a swanky resort hotel high in the mountains. They even meet another couple: Barbie and Clive Noble, who are also there for a getaway. Unfortunately, it seems Barbie and Clive are thieves and con artists, and they're at the hotel to loot as many rooms as possible before leaving the next day. Shawn is frustrated, Gus is furious (since Shawn apparently used his card to pay for everything), and Henry and Lassiter—expecting a quiet weekend—get caught up in the whole mess anyway. While chasing down Barbie and Clive, Shawn and Juliet discover someone in their wake who has been shot at a local vineyard. Now it's not just a couple of thieves they have to find, but maybe a couple murderers as well...Tropes:
- Abhorrent Admirer: Chelsea. She tracks Henry down after they meet at a club, and while she seems gorgeous and friendly at first, she proves to be obnoxious, gluttonous, and has an Annoying Laugh.
- Affably Evil: Barbie and Clive. They're perfectly friendly to their victims, even while they hold them at gunpoint.
- The Bet: At a recently-opened nightclub, Gus, Lassiter, and Henry make a bet that whoever gets a woman's phone number first has to bring food for a barbecue the next day. Henry wins, but soon wishes he hadn't.
- Big Eater: Chelsea somehow eats seven pounds of ribs in one sitting, staying startlingly thin.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Barbie and Clive are thieves and con artists, but draw the line at murder. Clive even admits his gun is just a movie prop.
- Gone Horribly Right: Henry actually wins his bet with Gus and Lassie. Unfortunately, the woman he picks up becomes obsessed with him, even though he has no interest in pursuing her and only did it to prove a point.
- Improbably Cool Car: Shawn and Juliet rent the flashiest flashy yellow sedan they can find to pursue Barbie and Clive with. Justified, since they're trying to look like targets to the thieves.
- Jerkass Victim: Jerry Kincaid. Barbie and Clive steal his car, forcing him to walk several miles to the nearest hotel, getting sunburned in the process. He eventually kills the Texan, since he was unable to buy the vineyard.
- Likes Older Men: Chelsea certainly does. At the end, after Henry loses her, she's seen escorting a man who makes Henry look young.
- Meaningful Name: Barbie and Clive, who have similar names to famed outlaw duo Bonnie and Clyde.
- No Name Given: "The Texan" is never actually named, despite playing a major role in the plot.
- Not Me This Time: Gus believes that Shawn is using his credit card in yet another case of this Running Gag. While Shawn did use the card to pay for the hotel room, all other expenses were done by Barbie and Clive, who stole the card when they ransacked his room.
- Outlaw Couple: Barbie and Clive. They roam the west coast, stealing and looting whatever they want before moving on.
- Pet the Dog: Invoked and parodied. Barbie and Clive are perfectly willing to lie, cheat, steal, ransack... you get the picture. But—"We do not kill people, and we're against animal cruelty!
- Sauna of Death: Jerry Kincaid locks Lassiter, Henry, and Gus in the hotel's sauna. It's more intended to delay than kill them, but they burst out in extreme, scalded discomfort after Juliet finds them and lets them out.
- Skewed Priorities:
- Shawn and Juliet take a ride in the hotel's hot-air balloon to get a better view of the area, and direct Lassiter's chase of the killer near the end. However, the balloon's pilot keeps offering them crackers and cheese, and pointing out local landmarks, which Shawn—who's on the phone with Lassiter—is glad to share with him.
- After Shawn and Jules are robbed, the latter is more upset about losing a Nintendo DS, to the point where he snatches one from a kid. Subverted when it turns out that he had kept an engagement ring in the battery compartment.
- Wham Shot: The engagement ring in the battery compartment of Shawn's Nintendo
- Wine Is Classy: Hilariously averted. While at a local vineyard, Shawn and Juliet meet the owner during a tour, who lectures the tour of the importance the vineyard places on tradition and high quality. Later, he admits in private that it's all just a show. He hates the business and wants to get out of it, and has no problem selling to the highest bidder.
- With This Ring: It turns out Shawn intended to propose marriage to Juliet over the weekend. This is why he seems to be particularly outraged over Barbie and Clive stealing his Nintendo DS—he hid the ring in the battery compartment.
- Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Barbie and Clive's favored method for getting a new ride: when the old one runs low on gas, deliberately crash it, lie by the side of a remote road, and then steal the car and belongings of whoever comes to help.
