In "The 2,000-Year-Old Virgin," the character of Jesus Christ makes his return as a central character, his first since Season 7's "I Dream of Jesus." In this Christmas Episode, the Griffins meet Jesus at Quahog Mall, learn that he is a virgin, and become determined to help him meet women and have sex with them.
Tropes present in this episode:
- All Men Are Perverts: The moral of this episode...and yes, this means even Jesus by the end.
- Blatant Lies: Jesus claims trying to trick Lois into sleeping him was a Secret Test of Character intended to impart a moral message on Christmas. Even though he's clearly lying and making it up on the spot, Peter and Lois believe him.
- Celibate Hero: Peter scoffs at the thought that Jesus is one of these.
- Christmas Episode: The one for Season 13. This year, Peter tries to help Jesus lose his virginity for his 2000th birthday.
- Didn't Think This Through: A couple whose son has severe mental and physical disabilities confront God while He is on vacation. They bitterly ask what the "special plan" behind their son's condition is and God retaliates by smugly telling them their child will live to age 74.
- Everyone Has Standards: After Peter dumps his computer in the ocean (see below), Seamus brings up his boat's fishing net, which is full of other computers.Seamus: A lot of scumbags out today.
- Irony: Stewie happily notes this to Brian: "You're an atheist and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams."
- Pædo Hunt: Implied once again with Peter; while trying to open a browser window to help Jesus set up a Facebook account, he accidentally maximizes a window with content that is not directly identified. However, Joe asks Peter (who had been making comments about the content he did see) directly, "Peter, how old is that girl?". Peter realizes what he is being asked and quickly dumps the computer in the ocean. It turns out that other men have done the same thing, and Seamus comments on the number of scumbags out there after he fishes up a bunch of discarded laptops from the ocean.
- The Reveal: Jesus isn't actually a virgin but claims to be one to get men to let him have sex with their wives, a trick he pulls every Christmas.
- Secret Test: After the truth comes out, Jesus nervously tries to claim he did this to teach Peter and Lois about temptation. It's a lie, but they fall for it.
- Shout-Out:
- Carrie Underwood and her song "Jesus, Take the Wheel": The song takes on a literal meaning; while Underwood is driving a car being pursued by a police car, she asks Jesus to "take the wheel," so she can fire a shotgun back at the police car.
- The closing where Rupert gives Stewie a Joni Mitchell CD and Stewie wonders who the necklace was for, is in reference to a scene in the film Love Actually.
- Take That!: Peter tries to get to the hotel to stop Jesus and Lois, but another man needs the car because Lenny Kravitz is gonna sleep with his daughter. Peter feels the guy's problem is worse and lets him take the car.
- Virgin-Shaming: The entire premise of the episode centers around the main protagonists helping Jesus lose his celibacy.
- Whole-Plot Reference: To The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
- Wounded Gazelle Gambit: The ending reveals Jesus pulled this on Peter. He acts all lonely and pathetic at Christmas-time, even showing Peter a depressing apartment.
