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Recap / Archer S 5 E 13 Arrival Departure

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After Lana revealed that her water just broke in the last episode, Archer is understandably in a state of panic. However, Agent Holly demands what was the ISIS crew doing in San Marcos, leading Archer to say they were selling Calderon weapons they got from Slater. Holly is reasonably upset that Slater didn't share that info with him. Lana reveals that Calderon has a nerve gas missile, Holly attempts to contact Calderon, but Archer and Cherlene reveal that Calderon had already been eaten by a tiger, which obviously distresses Holly, so he has Slater initiate "Operation: Dropkick". Lana demands to know what Operation: Dropkick is and Holly explains that the ultimate plan was to invade San Marcos, which prompts Lana to ask why was the CIA selling weapons to Calderon if they were going to invade San Marcos, to which Holly responds was so Calderon could fight off the rebels...which is what the CIA is. Holly then reveals that since Calderon only had cocaine that Iran (or Iraq, doesn't matter) refused to take as payment, the CIA needed to monetize the cocaine to get the money for weapons. After recalling how the ISIS crew was trying (and failing) to sell cocaine themselves and how Holly came to the manor once, Archer comes to the startling conclusion that the ISIS crew was selling cocaine for the CIA so they could get weapons from Iran the whole time. Archer asks if they at least freed some hostages, to which Holly responds that it wasn't a matter of saving lives, but rather to increase the CIA's annual budget, which infuriates Archer. Holly claims that Archer was in on the plan himself (he wasn't), thus making Lana angry with Archer.

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Meanwhile, things aren't so great in the palace either, as Krieger and Ray only have 60 minutes left until the missile launches and they're nowhere near disarming it and Cyril is having a breakdown since Juliana is having an affair with the Commandante. Malory informs everyone that since the palace is about to be bombarded by the U.S. Navy, they'll have to resort to taking everything in the palace they can carry. Back at the airport, Lana is in labor, still furious with Archer. With only six minutes until the missile launches, Krieger tells Ray that while they may not be able to disarm the missile, they can make it nonlethal by removing the nerve gas from it. Malory, Pam, and Cyril manage to grab whatever they can, drive out of the palace, pick up Ray and Krieger (who were lugging the canister containing the nerve gas), and reach the airport just before Operation: Dropkick obliterates the palace.

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Malory and Pam help deliver Lana's baby, who turns out to be a girl "quadroon" (much to the chagrin of Archer and Ray, who betted that the sperm donor was a black male). As the ISIS crew, Holly, and Slater fly out of San Marcos in Calderon's private jet, Lana tells Malory that she quits since while she has grown accustomed to Malory lying to her, she can't say the same regarding Archer. Malory convinces her not to quit the crew by explaining that Archer didn't know about the plan at all. As Malory goes to bribe/threaten Holly, Pam openly asks if anyone else thinks Malory will ask for more cocaine. This annoys Cherlene and asks Krieger to give Pam a brain chip, to which Krieger reveals that the "brain chip" that was on Cherlene was actually the sticker from the backpack of a LEGO spaceman. Malory then negotiates Holly to reinstate ISIS and have it be part of the CIA's payroll to which Holly (reluctantly) complies. Finally, Archer checks on Lana and her daughter, which Lana uses to reveal that when Archer had cancer, he got really drunk one night and they almost had sex and, right before he passed out, he told her that Malory had convinced him to freeze a bunch of his sperm at Dr. Feldman’s office and then Archer didn’t die, and then a few years went by and Lana started thinking about having a baby, but was still single, so she took the liberty of nabbing some of Archer's sperm. All of this is to reveal that, much to Archer's immense surprise, Lana's daughter, Abbiejean, is, in fact, Archer's child.

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This episode provides examples of:

  • Almighty Janitor: Slater calls up what sounds like a secretary and casually has her arrange for a U.S. Navy carrier group in the Gulf of Mexico to launch a full-scale attack on San Marcos. Bombing begins shortly after...
  • Ambiguously Gay: The pilot in command of the Navy bomber group, who apparently is having an affair with a man old enough that his co-pilot thought the guy was his father.
  • An Offer You Can't Refuse: Malory offers Holly a pretty good deal in exchange for reinstating ISIS and throwing them some jobs. When he hesitates, she says she'll just throw him out of the plane (threatening him with Archer's gun, which she apparently had the whole time) and take the offer to Slater.
  • Complexity Addiction: A parody of real-life CIA black ops. The whole plan to sell cocaine so as to buy weapons from Iran to support both sides of the civil war in San Marcos and justify an invasion becomes pointless and Slater just ends up calling in the Navy right then and there because things have spiraled out of control. Holly even has trouble keeping the whole story straight!
  • Covert Pervert: Slater is a little too eager to see how the birth is coming along.
  • Cutting the Knot: When they run out of time to stop the missile launch, Ray and Krieger just rip the nerve gas payload out of the missile and leg it. They wind up taking it home with them.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Even Archer is appalled that Agent Holly and the CIA used the ISIS crew to do the CIA's dirty work.
  • Evil All Along: While Agent Holly and the CIA weren't exactly nice to begin with, it turns out that they were the ones who left the ISIS crew with the tonne of cocaine.
  • Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: How Archer finds out that the CIA was using the ISIS crew to monetize the cocaine for them the whole time.
    Archer: Join the club. We’ve been trying to monetize cocaine for, like…I mean, you even came to the house, where we…We’ve been selling cocaine for the CIA so they could buy arms from Iran?!
  • Freak Out!: Krieger has a brief one when the timer on the missile gets a little too low. He comes back a moment later with an idea that'll save the day.
  • He Knows Too Much: Holly plans to dump the ISIS crew at a Black Site, not only because they managed to lose $50 million worth of cocaine but also because they know way too much about the CIA's operations.
  • Heroic BSoD: Archer has one once he pieces together that Lana is trying to tell him the baby is his daughter.
  • Implied Death Threat: Mallory threatens to take her offer to Agent Holly's partner under the pretense of the former taking up "skydiving" (said during a conversation that takes place in a plane) should he fail to accept.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: During the last minutes of (painkiller-free) delivery, Mallory offers Lana a bottle of cognac. She chugs it.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: Lana's mystery donor turns out to be Archer himself. Not that he knew.
  • Magic Feather: The brain chip they shot into Cherlene's head was apparently the stick off a little LEGO spaceman.
  • Panicky Expectant Father: Archer, technically note ; he anxiously paces around, overturns vending machines, and eventually punches Cyril out once the baby's first cries are heard (though that one may have been just for the hell of it).
  • Pregnant Badass: As if there was ever any question: Lana beats the crap out of several rebel mooks, and commands a room full of people (via an automatic rifle) while in labor. Without getting untied.
  • Screaming Birth
  • Shout-Out: Several.
    • Cyril's breakdown in the palace is lifted wholesale from First Blood.
  • Status Quo Is God: ISIS is reinstated and Pam seems to be shifting back to her old personality.
  • Those Two Guys: A case where the banter between two U.S. Navy aviators en route to destroy Calderon's palace is actually unrelated to the plot, but provides some side humor:
    Pilot: Drop it.
    Co-pilot: I'm not gonna judge you!
    Pilot: The ordinance, Mike! Drop the ordinance!
  • Wham Line:
    Lana: Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abijean. note 
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: We don't really see what happened to Juliana or the rest of the people from San Marcos. We're left to assume they perished during the CIA's airstrike.

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