England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
— George Bernard Shaw note
They say that Britain and America are two countries separated by the Atlantic Ocean. And it's true!
Jesus, I'm dyin' for a fag. Or a cigarette, I should say to avoid any Transatlantic confusion.
— Cassidy, Preacher
Firebolt: Ms. Rowling, after the first book, you stopped converting English words to American words. Is there any reason for this?
J. K. Rowling: Actually, we didn't stop, but the number of words that were changed has been greatly exaggerated! We only ever changed a word when it had a different meaning in “American,” for instance, the word “jumper,” which in England means “sweater” and here, I believe, is something that only little girls wear!
J. K. Rowling: Actually, we didn't stop, but the number of words that were changed has been greatly exaggerated! We only ever changed a word when it had a different meaning in “American,” for instance, the word “jumper,” which in England means “sweater” and here, I believe, is something that only little girls wear!
— AOL interview with J. K. Rowling October 19, 2000
In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages without trying to invent slang, so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons and American for conversation.
— Stephen Leacock, How to Write
The Americans are identical to the British in all respects except, of course, language.
The American language differs from the English in that it seeks the top of expression while English seeks its lowly valleys.
— Salvador de Madariaga, Americans are Boys
One of the strongest prejudices that one has to overcome when one visits Australia is that created by the weird jargon than passes for English in this country
— Valerie Desmond
(Niles has been sneezing)
Fran Fine: Niles! Are you okay?
Niles: Oh, I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit queer.
Fran: Don't ask, don't tell, but for God's sake, come out of the closet.
Niles: Ill, Miss Fine, I'm beginning to feel a bit ill.
Fran: Oh, you British. You look like us, you act like us, but bottom line: you're foreigners.
Fran Fine: Niles! Are you okay?
Niles: Oh, I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit queer.
Fran: Don't ask, don't tell, but for God's sake, come out of the closet.
Niles: Ill, Miss Fine, I'm beginning to feel a bit ill.
Fran: Oh, you British. You look like us, you act like us, but bottom line: you're foreigners.
— The Nanny, "The Nuchshlep"
"In honour of the Euroupean Sounic Colours proumoutiounal videou pousted below, we've decided tou stand aloungside ouur ouverseas couhourts, and their inexplicable manner ouf spelling."
— Joystiq
"The complexities of the English Language are such that even native speakers cannot always communicate effectively, as almost every American learns on his first day in Britain. Indeed, Robert Burchfield, editor of the Oxford English Dictionary, created a stir in linguistic circles on both sides of the Atlantic when he announced his belief that American English and English English are drifting apart so rapidly that within 200 years the two nations won't be able to understand each other at all."
— Bill Bryson's The Mother Tounge: English and How it Got That Way, page 12. Published in 1990. Burchfield made this claim in the late 1970's. As stated on the main page, the rise of the Internet allowing us to talk to each other and read each others writing makes that a very interesting look back.
Englishman: Pack of fags?
Randal: You're a fag!
Englishman: It's a "cigarette", mate.
Randal: I'm not your mate, fag!
Randal: You're a fag!
Englishman: It's a "cigarette", mate.
Randal: I'm not your mate, fag!
"For there is a certain matter never spoken of in polite society, and yet known to all, which will, if we ignore it—pretending that it does not exist—turn what should be a pleasant social occasion into an insufferable ordeal. You do know—or as you would say, ‘ken’—what I speak of, my lord?”
“Crivvens!” exclaimed Lord Gy. “Wha hae foostit ben the heid-hoose!?” Then he added, with unmistakable sarcasm: “Serr’s, a coud gae through the fluir.”
“Brilliant, that is a paradigmatic specimen,” said Throwley. “It is this, my lord: you do not speak English.”
“Crivvens!” exclaimed Lord Gy. “Wha hae foostit ben the heid-hoose!?” Then he added, with unmistakable sarcasm: “Serr’s, a coud gae through the fluir.”
“Brilliant, that is a paradigmatic specimen,” said Throwley. “It is this, my lord: you do not speak English.”
(*offended noise*) "English pudding! You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it."
—Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, "The Clean Room Infiltration"
There even are places where English completely disappears.
In America, they haven't used it for years!
In America, they haven't used it for years!
—Professor Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady
Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. […] Uh, no, not when the P.M. meets the leaders of the English-speaking nations. […] Yes, the English-speaking nations can be said to include the United States. (With a certain generosity of spirit.)
— Bernard Woolley, Yes, Prime Minister – on the telephone, trying to organise a state funeral for his boss’ predecessor.
We’ve spent an hour discussing and reading about it and we still don’t know what exactly “pudding” means to British people. The explanations on this post all basically seem to amount to “nobody knows.”
— This Tumblr post
Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.
Newt Scamander: The what?
Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!
Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.
Newt Scamander: The what?
Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!
Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.
The Gilbert and Sullivan operas have been translated into many languages, including American and Australian....
— Martyn Green
Klaus: Elsa was my first love. We met in university.
Roger: You mean you met in college. You're in the States now. Say it the right way.
Klaus: So Elsa and I met AT. UNIVERSITY.
Roger: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH I HATE IT!!
Roger: You mean you met in college. You're in the States now. Say it the right way.
Klaus: So Elsa and I met AT. UNIVERSITY.
Roger: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH I HATE IT!!
— American Dad!, "My Affair Lady"
Ferb's cousin Beckham: I bet you don't even play football anymore (holds out a ball).
Buford: You dweebs, that's a soccer ball. This is a football!
Buford: You dweebs, that's a soccer ball. This is a football!
— Phineas and Ferb, "My Fair Goalie"
English-speaking country, my ass
— A frustrated translator attempting to translate the Aussie slang in "Waltzing Matilda", America (The Book)
Sharon: Uh, uh, 'scuse me, Syd. Could you tell me where the khazi is, please? (Beat) The toilet.
Sydnee: The bathroom's over there.
Sharon: I want a slash, not a shower.
Gordon: Hey, what's the matter between you two?
Jean-Phillipe: There's a language barrier.
Gordon: What do you mean there's a language barrier? He's speaking English, you dick.
Jean-Phillipe: I know, but he's from Texas.
Fell: I say, Hadley, how would you construe into Latin the following text: 'He poled the tomato into the left-field bleachers for a circuit clout?' I've been debating it all the way across the ocean. 'Poled' and 'tomato' I can manage, but how Virgil would have said left-field bleachers' rather stumps me.
Hadley: What's all that?
Fell: It would appear to be the dialect of a province called Brooklyn.
Hadley: What's all that?
Fell: It would appear to be the dialect of a province called Brooklyn.
—Dr. Gideon Fell, "The Eight of Swords"
