"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
— Benjamin Franklin, Letter to Jea-Baptiste Leroy, 1789
"Internal Revenue Service. This was one of those rare government buildings in which someone who uses a calculator for a living can wield more power than a person who carries a gun."
— Nick Bilton, American Kingpin
"Are the neighbors watching me?
Well, is the mailman watching me?
And I don't feel safe anymore!
Oh, what a mess!
I wonder who's watching me now?
The IRS?!"
Well, is the mailman watching me?
And I don't feel safe anymore!
Oh, what a mess!
I wonder who's watching me now?
The IRS?!"
— Rockwell, "Somebody's Watching Me"
"If you drive a car, I'll tax the street
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet"
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet"
—The Beatles, "Taxman"
"Perhaps everyone runs from the 'tax-man'?"
— Leela, Doctor Who - "The Sun Makers"
"This was a noble house once, lad! McDucks sailed forth in fear o' no man born o' woman ... except maybe the tax collector!"
Lister: Relax, it doesn't matter now. Not gonna catch you now, are they?
Rimmer: What? Just because we're three million years into deep space and the human species is extinct? That means nothing to these people. They'll find us.
Rimmer: What? Just because we're three million years into deep space and the human species is extinct? That means nothing to these people. They'll find us.
— Red Dwarf, "Better Than Life", after Rimmer receives an ancient tax bill from Outland Revenue.
"Commander, the IRS has been called a terrorist enclave. Rest assured, we are."
"When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. Ever."
"...That's not true! That is not true!"
"...That's not true! That is not true!"
"Uncle Sam: Reaching into your shirt and squeezing your tit till it's purple."
— Captain Byron Hadley, The Shawshank Redemption
"Gosh! I never get mail! I wonder who sent this.
There's no return address! In its place there's a crude human skull with X's for eyes and its tongue hanging out!
Maybe it's the IRS."
There's no return address! In its place there's a crude human skull with X's for eyes and its tongue hanging out!
Maybe it's the IRS."
—Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
"[For] the Taxxons, who were massive worms that lived in a constant state of insatiable hunger that at times drove them to cannibalism, we’re pretty sure they were invented on or around April 15note ."
—K. A. Applegate on one of Animorphs' more outstanding alien species
Miles Cramer: I can't reach you... I can't beat you... and you won't give up?
The Flash: Nope. I promised to collect these taxes.
Miles Cramer: Very well.
The Flash: Nope. I promised to collect these taxes.
Miles Cramer: Very well.
— The Flash Vol 2 #52
Saul: Humor me for a second. You know you need to launder your money, right? Do you understand the basics of it; placement, layering, integration?
Jesse: I ain't buying no damn hair salon, so just forget it.
Saul: Well, you want to stay out of jail, don't yah? You want to keep your money and your freedom? 'Cuz I got three little letters for you, I-R-S. If they can get Capone, they can get you.
Jesse: I ain't buying no damn hair salon, so just forget it.
Saul: Well, you want to stay out of jail, don't yah? You want to keep your money and your freedom? 'Cuz I got three little letters for you, I-R-S. If they can get Capone, they can get you.
Government: You owe us money. It's called taxes.
Me: How much do I owe?
Government: You have to figure that out.
Me: I just pay what I want?
Government: Oh, no we know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number too.
Me: What if I get it wrong?
Government: You go to prison.
Me: How much do I owe?
Government: You have to figure that out.
Me: I just pay what I want?
Government: Oh, no we know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number too.
Me: What if I get it wrong?
Government: You go to prison.
—Twitter, on why dealing with taxes are both frustrating and intimidating.
