Amnesia: The Dark Descent:
"I delight in Bilou's fear. It's like watching a mommy otter thrown in the dark with five snakes, that's adorable. Technically the otter manages to win, but it's still completely terrified."
— About Biloulette who is playing the game
"Dudes! Would you really be mad at your baker for selling bread? [...] Just imagine if your baker, in exchange to about 20 seconds of advertisment with him dancing and singing "The Too-Too-Too-Too-Toolbox!", and right after this he gives you a free croissant."
— About the video monetization on YouTube
Asura's Wrath:
"In the previous sūtra, we were facing the fully tentacular Vlitra who came out the planet. What do we do and where do we pass to attack him? By Australia or by East-Asia? - I'm not sure. Indonesia looks good for me. - No, look over here, there is a tentacle. - Shit!"
— Bob conversing with himself about Vlitra
"Double Force Action!! Super Esoterical Counter Double Laser Homo Gay Sex Attack!!!"
— When Asura and Yasha do an combined attack against Vlitra
"What? Asura is evolving? (hum Pokémon evolution theme) Asura evolves into Megasura! [...] It's like the Megazord, but with a bigger dick!"
— When Asura receives the power of the Brahmastra
"SUPER ACTION MEGA BROTHERS FORCE LEUCOCYTE ACTION MEGA GAY HOMO SEX PUNCH!!!"
— When Asura and Yasha punch together the Vlitra Corenote
"We're still in the Karma Fortress. What a better place to fight than a giant magic robot golem?"
— At the beginning of sūtra 19
"Hey! Keep your filthy legs off of there, you pervert! She's still underage, just saying. Yes, technically, she's 12516 years old, but still!"
— When the Golden Spider possesses Mithra
"Durga, No! You were receiving CanalSat, but with the aerials I grew on my back, I was receiving the entire cable! You can't die now! The CanalSat+ channel, the Eurosport channel, ...No! The porn channel, you have it Durga! Survive! No kidding, I don't have the password. Where is the remote? (Durga whispers something) She just said where they are! Where are they?! AAAARGH!!"
During Durga's death flashbacknote
"D'aw, they're together, that's cute! They'll be able to have spectral sex until the end of eternity. That's wonderfull! Deus will finally shows the use of his electric nuchakus. Spoilers: they vibrates."
— When Deus' and Olga's ghosts are shown together
"Have you a moment to talk about our savior's word? Did you know that Optimus Prime died for our sins?"
— When he flies to Chakravartin
Brütal Legend:
"The axle, the wheel, the body, the window, the engine... and my dick as the screwdriver."
— During the construction of the Deuce
"What if we make love on the ground of this unholy land; it sounds pretty metal for me? I'm sure there are plenty utilisations for the pommel of my lightning axe thzt you didn't even began to consider."
— To Lita.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim:
"If you weren't that dumb, the city would be covered, not "closed". Do you expect the dragon to knock at the door? 'Hi, I just heard the city was closed and you were controlling everything at the border. Hu-hum. If you do not mind: roar'."
— To a NPC guard who forbid him the access to a city
"...No! My therapist says it's not the right solution. In case like this, you have to sing: (hum Conan's theme)— I have to get out of here before I kill you all!"
— After he met a bard singing an Imperial song
"I'm dressed in marshmallow, epicness!"
— About a texture glitch which makes one of his armor bright pink
"Dude! This is "The Warriors Guild", not "The Guild of the Lord of Dance"! I just can't believe it! [...] 'Spiders which reach my knees? No really, I don't feel it. I have a 50kg axe, I'm a 150kg barabarian, I can turn into a warewolf, but sincerely, spiders about the size of a chair, I don't feel it, guys'."
— About Farkas' arachnophobia
- The Skull:
"Nyaha! I've seen everything but I've done absolutely nothing! KAKAKA! Actually, I took the bets. (to another skull) Hey you! You owe me two teeth! KAKAKA!"
— About the murder of Kodlak
Minecraft:
"I always expected an episode like: 'Ms. Frizzle! Carmen has her period!' - 'Great! That's exactly the oppurtunity I was waiting for.' And then they take the bus and go swim in her ovaries."
— To Fanta, about The Magic School Bus cartoon
"Sweetie, I'm shooting Minecraft videos! It is an important activity in our couple and in my life and for my personnal achievement with respect to my audience. Your cake looks beautiful and you deserve all the possible congratulations, but could you please stop stuff it in my face for just two seconds— (laughs) Just kidding, I love you. Come here. [...] (away from keyboard) No, come back! We'll have puppies on the beach!"
— To his wife, off-screen
"Tu-du-du! Here is Shipmaster Lennon who is reporting than we reach Casino Island. You can now get the hell out of you bed, stop touch yourselves, close all porn tabs opened on the ship internet which are pumping the entire bandwidth and let the Captain do it himself a bit. The Captain Lennon - HAR! - whish you a wonderful stay. Tu-du-du!"
— Right at the start of a video when they begin in a cruise
"HAR! I am Pirate Lennon. I used to do piracy, now I'm doing capitalism. That's stealing... but that's different."
— About his pirate outfitnote
"This house has been created before the big cataclysme which, before the Minecraft 1.6 update, and since then it is haunted by the diabolical spirits who scream everyday that their codding is suffering, that it is a pain, that it makes overwork your PC which cannot follow despite its uber graphical card. Yes, everyday, thousands of PCs lags due to the malediction. If you lend an ear, you can hear them scream at the moonlight: "reprogram meeeeee... you are billionaires... do something betteeeeer... not crappy javaaaaaa..." until the end of times."
— About the numerous bugs in the game
PAYDAY 2:
"(as a policeman) We're shooting at you, it would be common courtesy to shoot at us back! (as himself) No, we're ignoring you. Talk to my gun, but I warn you it has a suppressor. Did you get my subtile message?"
Bob ignoring the police assault to go straight to the objective
Resident Evil 6:
- Leon and Helena's campaign:
"We crashed into Microsoft's headquarter! (slowmotion) Giiive meee aaan Xbooox Seeeveeen-Tweeentyyyyyyyyy..."
— When Leon's helicopter crashes into a building
"Your mother the fat purple sow!!"
— Bob raging
"Watch out, a fat one! He looks like Nicolas Cage!"
— About an obese zombie
"What about the command of my Xbox Seven-Twentyyyyyyyyy?..."
— When he replays the same scene from the intro
"Am I alright? Am I alright?! YOU ASK ME IF I AM ALRIGHT?!! [...] In the order: we passed by an infected campus, then by the sewers in the basement and a graveyard to continue in a church to go in a sort of neo-nazi-whatever crypt which brough us to a laboratory with crazy experiments transforming people into zombie with digicoded doors to exit in a city, we finally took a plane which exploded and crashed on a city infested with zombies, and I just fought with a Tyrannosaurus Rex and I DIDN'T GET MY XBOX 720!!!!"
— Bob answering Helena, near the end of the game
"In the end, we fought with Simmons, Pitbull Simmons, Mutant Simmons, Godzilla Simmons and Mothra Simmons, not to mention Scorpion Simmons somewhere in the middle."
— To Fanta, about all Simmons' mutations
- Jake and Sherry's campaign:
"Will Sherry Birkin survive the fall? Will Jake survive the fall? Was this parachute completely useless? Will there be more unfair QTEs which will make us die in horrible pains before we can even react? Will the Ustanak again come out with improbable solutions, like appear on the top of a tower, a cliff or an unreachable mountain with a completely silly weapon, riding on helicopters and shooting at us with gatlings he didn't have seconds before? Will all of this happen in the next episodes?!... Probably."
— After he completed the first chapter
"Thank goodness, the ground cushioned the fall."
— After he slid down the mountain
"I will wildly make love with you!— (bullets come through the wall) Under a bulletstorm, that's how we did it in Russia!"
— When Jake jump on Sherry to cover her
"A locked door in the real world? That's impossible! We're in a video game! Unacceptable!! I drop my controller, I quit. [...] There should be a puzzle, badges, a token... a key? A key to open a locked door, Ho ho ho..."
— About a locked door
"Exactly! And then it goes "twi-twi-twi-twi", and then "wuiiin", and then "boooorf", and then "krrrfff", and then "prf-prf-prf", and then "GROARF", and then "bratatatata", and there is the Ustanak, who goes "GRRRFF-dziiii", and then "bratatatata", and then "Sherry!", and then "Jake!", and then "Leooon!!"... In short, that's what will happen."
— Bob foreshadowing the fight against the Ustanaknote
"Really, Capcom? Really? The final boss is the Skull?... KAKAKAKAKAKA!!"
— About the Haosnote
"Given the speed of their tracks, will they stop abruptly or be projected in the air? How can you survive to— (end credits) By rolling the credits, of course!"
— About Jake and Sherry's campaign ending
- Chris and Piers' campaign: (WIP)
- Ada's campaign:
"Inst-Asiat! Grow your own Thai prostitute in 3 days!"
— About Ada's cloning
"I am hunted down by half the fucking military forces of this country, there will be a terrorist attack on this city - though there already have been some over here, that's quite a mess, deads and zombies everywhere, the most total war... and Miss Ada Wong, 41 years old - I assume... (take the slide) Wheeeeeee!!"
— When Ada can use a playground slide
"...So here we are, guys! Here ends the Gears of War Let's Play— just kidding. (laughs)"
— After Fanta (as the Agent) gets decapited by the Ubistvonote
Saints Row: The Third:
"When you shoot a missile, he dashes straight like a spermatozoid and then follows your cursor, that's adorable. And look at this car: IT CARRIES MY CHILD!! (explodes the car) Haaaaaannn!!!"
— To Fanta, during a Heli Assault mission
"Hey Fanta: looks like he just get... waffled!"
— About Lorennote , after he get crushed by a giant ball
"I swear, officer, I was just parking. It's not my fault, the barge was drunk."
— After they crashed into a boat
"So, you're into BDSM and coffea? - 'Mphhphphmmphhhmphhhmm!' - Really? That's cool."
— Bob "talking" with one of Zimos' slave
"We're on the Xbox Live! We gonna question Call of Duty players' sexuality! Apparently, that's how they communicate with each others."
To Fanta, during a Trail Blazing mission
"The whores are rebelling! I told you to not let them create a labor union! [...] (shoot on them) Sob! What a waste...
— To Fanta, during the mission "Trojan Whores"
Saints Row IV:
"Good evening sirs! Do you have a moment to talk about our Saviour and Lord Raptor Jesus? He will forgive all your sins, but only if your 'Merican!"
— Bob killing terrorists
"What "compensation"? No compensation here, this is just an accurate representation of your daddy's dick the day you were conceived, boy; with the civilians as your mother. (shoot) Haaaaaan!!"
— Bob shooting at stuff with a rocket launcher
Tenchu Z:
"Just imagine you're a guard, and you know there's a deadly ninja assassin who's coming for you. You hear a sound behind you, you turn back... nothing. But you know he's there somewhere, and you heard the rumor this guy is a nudist, but you can't verify it. And the only way you could discover the truth is the time your decapitated head rolling on the ground sees him, and your final though is 'My God! It really was a nudist'."
— Bob explaining the concept of the Nudist Ninja
