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Funny / The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

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  • The threat of Galactus, Devourer of Worlds, has been built up since issue #1. In issue #2, Squirrel Girl gets a suit of Iron Man's armor to go to the moon to stop Galactus. In issue #3, Squirrel Girl keeps trying to get to the moon, but gets distracted by Whiplash and a bank robbery, until finally she gets to the moon and stands face-to-foot with Galactus. It's built up as an epic battle: the Power Cosmic vs. the Power Chestnut! And then, issue #4 rolls around and....
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  • ..the first page is Squirrel Girl standing on top of a defeated Galactus saying "Well, that wasn't so hard." And then the letters page! And a note saying all the rest of the pages are blank! (They weren't and they actually do explain what you saw on Page 1, but still: it was hilarious.)
  • Doreen starts out trying to physically punch Galactus into submission. She is shocked when it has no effect, since it seems to work every other time.
  • Pretty much every word out of Galactus' mouth, but especially him calling Thanos a tool and laughing as Squirrel Girl mentions she beat him up.
    Tippy-Toe: Makes sense!
    SG: Tippy-Toe! Don't tell Galactus that his plan to eat Earth 'makes sense'!
    Tippy-Toe (unperturbed): But it does! It's a good plan.
    Galactus (from off-panel): Thanks, Tippy-Toe.
    • Galactus reveals that he can speak to squirrels. Because he can communicate with every race in the universe, obviously including squirrels.
  • Issue #5. Aside from Nancy, no one being held hostage in the Statue of Liberty has ever heard of Squirrel Girl, but they all make up stories about her anyway. Nancy's fuming because she knows the real story, but obviously can't correct these people without explaining how she knows the real story.
    • The old woman's story (told in a Silver Age style) includes her version of S.G. musing, "Of course, once I tricked [Captain America] into washing his hands, he went back to normal." What a Silver Age-like sentence!
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    • The ponytailed guy starts to describe The Clone Saga, and gets as far as Venom's origin story before one of the other hostages points out that he is, in fact, thinking of Spider-Man.
    • The Internet-surfing kid's 'super future' version of Squirrel Girl asks her computer if Doctor Doom has any weaknesses she can exploit. Its response is, 'A fear of squirrels and the ability to be easily vexed by squirrels.'
  • In Issue #6, the Narrator gets so freaked out by what Girl Squirrel is whispering into people's ears that he (she?) quits her (his?) job in the middle of the issue!
    Narrator: Listen, I got into the narration business because all I ever wanted to do was tell people where things were taking place, and how much later those things were from the last things they saw taking place! That page earlier where it was "20 Minutes Later" every panel? Bliss. That was great. But what Girl Squirrel is saying here is actually super awful, so y'all can find someone else to narrate the rest of this issue, because I am out!
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  • In issue seven, SG pays the Avengers (Hawkeye, Spider-Man, both Captains America, and Black Widow) a visit to see if they can help find out why everyone is becoming a jerk, only to find that they too have been affected and are about to come to blows. Doreen introduces her friends and tells them "If you can't say something nice, Don't say anything at all". Spidey gets out a single "I-", and we Smash Cut to SG having beat the entire team unconscious. Yes, even the elderly Steve Rogers.
  • Cat Thor.
    • First mentioned in an Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering? bit at the beginning of Issue #7, discussing an Asgardian evil which has descended upon Earth:
      Doreen: There's one person who'd know about it.
      Nancy: Who?
      Doreen: I'll give you a hint: you write fan fiction of the feline version of him, and I totally know where he works.
      Nancy: Oh my god. Of course. Cat Th—
      Doreen: (talking over her) Thor.
    • By the way if you check Nancy's chat icon on the recap pages: It's her cat cosplaying as Thor since issue #4.
    • When Nancy gets the chance to be taken to Asgard to see if they can find a solution regarding the menace with Thor and Odinson, she starts asking about how cats are regarded in Asgard.
    • Issue #8 opens with a page of Cat Thor comics.
    Meowdin the Allpawther: Now let's flex our muscles, as is the tradition of our people!
    Cat Thor: Agreed!
    • Finally, Loki asks Nancy if he could impersonate someone for her, and before Odinson can object, she demands Cat Thor. He obliges, much to Odinson's annoyance, and continues inflating his Cat Thor head as the comic progresses.
    Thor: Loki, I know there is some good in you. Undo what you have wrought. Help us repair the beast's cage.
    Odinson: Also, I know thou art making thy stupid cat head bigger only to annoy me.
    Loki: Oh, does this annoy you, Odinson? Does my new regular head annoy you? Because this is my new regular head forever now.
    • On the "recap" page of issue #1 in the relaunch we get Nancy wondering if she needs a blog for her Cat Thor fics and if adding Lokitten would be a neat idea.
    • Cat Thor would then later appear as one of Loki's alternate selves in The Mighty Thor #3
    • And the 17th issue of the 2nd series opens with yet another Cat Thor comic: "Cat Thor meets Dog Hulk". Dog Hulk is... well, let's just say he Hulks out over Mewnir's Only the Chosen May Wield not being scientific.
  • This picture for the crossover between this title and Howard the Duck. If not for the two cosplaying as each other, then for the picture of Spider-Man say "Cosplay as me by being wracked with guilt!", playing on the thousands of pictures of Spidey cosplayers grieving over bodies of Uncle Bens... or holding boxes of Uncle Ben rice and grieving.
    • It's probably also a play on the running gag in Howard's own book of Spidey breaking down in tears and apologizing to Uncle Ben at even the slightest hint someone he cares about might've died.
  • In issue #1 of the relaunch, the narration has these gems:
    "I was gonna say the mom is being a drag here for not assuming this [jumping out of a fiery building] is safe, but Squirrel Girl never actually told her that "leaping hecka far" is one of her powers, so—good work, mom. You are a sensible mom, and you only want the best for your child."

    "DID YOU KNOW: 'badonk' is slang for 'butt'? And 'butt' is slang for 'buttocks'? And 'callipygian' is a for-real adjective that means 'having nice buttocks'? Look at you, just trying to relax with a talking squirrel comic and instead learning how to say, 'My word, what a callipygian badonk!'"

    "Actually, some tree species rely on squirrels stealing their nuts, burying them, and then completely forgetting where they're buried! This allows the trees to spread far and wide. THERE, now you know some squirrel facts and some "fancy words for butts" facts! I'd sincerely like to see each issue of The Amazing Spider-Man do that."

    • Doreen is rather chipper about finding out that she's not fireproof while trying to rescue people from a burning building.
    Tomas: Also, we found out we're not fireproof.
    Doreen: Also we found out we're not fireproof, yeah! That's actually really excellent information to know!
    • While Tomas is talking to Tippy-Toe, a woman passing by gives him a very confused stare.
    • According to the pediatrician that the Greens consulted when their daughter started to exhibit super-powers, "Doreen is medically and legally distinct from being a mutant, and I can never take this back."
      • And the doctor who made this discovery was named Dr. Ditray—a tip of the hat to Squirrel-Girl creators Steve Ditko and Will Murray, as well as a great follow-up to the reveal of how Doreen got her name.
    • Maureen's pregnancy with Doreen was apparently quite eventful:
    "Also, the doc couldn't say for sure whether it was the squirrel bite or the cosmic rays in the forest or the experimental nut serum or the radioactive tree or what that caused the changes."
  • Dr Doom's alternate timeline have a decree "specifying that Reed Richards and his closest three associates be kept out of space, alternate dimensions, and cinemas".
  • Dr. Doom knows his psychological theory:
    Doreen: Dude, did you just namecheck Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in a friggin' fistfight?! I'm... sincerely impressed, actually?
    Doom: Doom conquers all psychological theory as readily as he will conquer this planet.
  • Issue #5:
    • During the fight in the natural history museum, the story takes a little time-out to explain why it was totally okay for Dr. Doom to use a bone from the dinosaur skeleton displays to try to wallop Squirrel Girl:
    Narrator: Like Squirrel Girl, use your keen "Science Vision" on these dinosaur fragments. (next panel is an extreme close-up of the smashed fossil) Can you see what's wrong? Yes! They have undifferentiated insides instead of fossilized interior bone structure. Therefore, these things are plaster castings of fossils, made for display purposes only, and therefore eligible to be smashed in a high-stakes battle for the very fate of the future!
    Doreen: (to Doom) Wow. You're so lucky these are plaster castings of fossils, made for display purposes only, and therefore eligible to be smashed in a high-stakes battle for the very fate of the future!
    Narrator: See? Thanks, Science Vision!
    • Doreen zaps herself into the past multiple times so that there would be multiple versions of her available to fight Dr. Doom. What results is a particularly hilarious reference to her original victory over Dr. Doom, which is lampshaded by some of the time displaced copies of Doreen:
    Doom: Confound these wretched girls! For every one I fling away, a dozen more vex me!
    One of the multiple copies of Doreen: Hah hah hah! Yes!
    Another copy of Doreen: Irony!
    • This exchange between Doreen and Mary, one of her comp sci classmates:
    Mary: Oh crap: Doreen! We forgot Doreen in the past!
    Squirrel Girl: Huh? Uh... I mean, who?
    Mary: Doreen Green! She was there at the start! She was the one who organized the first meeting for us all after spotting my earbuds!
    Squirrel Girl: Uh...
    Mary: Come on! She was about your height? With your complexion? And your hair color? And a similar voice, actually? And she disappeared right around when you... when you showed up... (facepalms) Oh my God I'm a complete idiot.
    • This exchange between Nancy and Doreen after their time travel trip:
    Doreen: How many other CS students can say they piled up on a Latverian dictator?
    Nancy: I mean...a bunch now, actually.
    Doreen: Right?! All the English lit majors are gonna be mad jealous.
  • After a montage of bad blind dates with Doreen walking away, dejected, kicking a can...
    Doreen: I'm sorry, Sentinel #X4903-22,but I can't date anyone who hates and fears mutants.
    Sentinel #X4903-22: But that is what I was programmed to do. It is my purpose. (walks away dejected, kicking a shipping container) Why was I also programmed to feel heartbreak?
  • Numerous from The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe:
    • Doreen briefly tries to pass off Nancy as "Nautical Nancy, who talks to boats". This leads to Tony revealing one of his original name ideas was Gentleman Muscles.
    • Tony Stark attempts to recruit Squirrel Girl to find squirrels for experiments.
    Tony: Friday, take a note: Squirrel Girl is big into squirrels.
    Friday: Its already the first item noted on her profile, sir.
    Tony: Terrific.
    • Spider-Man immediately following Doreen and her clone to make sure they don't have "some kind of clone saga".
    Spider-Man: But- how do you know which of you is the clone and which of you is the original?
    Doreen: Dude, that old chestnut? It's so easy!
    Allene: You seriously had problems with that?
    Spider-Man: Um... maybe? Only for a little while.
    • Allene's squirrel friends attempt to masquerade as Tony in an Ironman suit during a Stark Business Meeting, and panic when Pepper asks "Tony" to speak.
    Squirrel Leg squirrels: prepare to stand! Right arm point! Soundboard squirrels: hit the fifth button!
    Ironman suit: *sings and dances* I-am-Iron-Man
    Business people: *stare*
    Ironman suit: The Avengers need me. *Flies through glass window* Well bye.
    Magneto: Non-ferrous rocks! My one weakness!
  • The solicitation for issue #15:
    "When the TASKMASTER comes to town – and brings with him his ability to DUPLICATE ANYONE’S SWEET MOVES – who stands between him and total domination?

    See, I can tell you’re glancing at the title of this comic and whispering “Well, it’s PROBABLY Squirrel Girl,” but guess what? This time it’s actually Nancy’s cat Mew, who has NO POWERS WHATSOEVER!

    THRILL as Mew loafs around the house! GASP as Mew chases a mouse and then has a nap! BOGGLE as you wonder how we possibly managed to pitch “an issue entirely from the cat’s point of view” to Marvel, a multinational corporation with a LOT invested in our comic continuing to star a squirrel and/or girl!

    They knew the risks when they let Hawkeye have that Pizza Dog issue though, so this was clearly inevitable."
    • Mew ultimately defeats Taskmasker by making Doreen notice Taskmaster can't duplicate moves involving tails, not having one of his own.
  • SG brings Nancy to the New York Zoo to see if, just by chance, she Speaks Fluent Animal but hasn't met the animal she can speak to yet. To get SG to stop pestering her, Nancy starts yelling into the monkey cage, only to be shushed by a zoo employee who points to a large sign by the monkey pen:
    Do not shout at the monkeys! The monkeys do not understand English. Ademos, los monos tampoco hablan Espanol. La simioj ne komprenas Esperanton aux. It's like, you shouldn't need a sign to explain this to you.
  • When Squirrel Girl and Nancy are trapped in hypertime, they notice that Bullseye is causing trouble, and Nancy suggests they replace his guns with bananas. Squirrel Girl tells her that she'd be personally offended if they didn't replace Bullseye's guns with bananas.
  • The Brain, not knowing what Skrulls are, checks the Deadpool trading cards. Once he has an appropriate knowledge of the context, he gasps along with everyone else.
    • The card itself is pretty great too. As Deadpool's in the middle of telling everyone about Skrulls, he gets interrupted by someone at the door. Then the card suddenly tells readers to ignore what it already said and trust Skrulls. Hmm...