- Donna getting Louis to panic and run away from trying to get his reward from Harvey for doing Harvey a favor.Donna: (fake crying)Louis: Oh shit... (runs away)
- Also, Harvey's realization that Donna used the same trick on him before to get him to let her parents stay in his condo
- A Call-Back moment occurs when Donna begins crying in front of Mike as evidence of her excellent acting skills. Mike, of course, panicked too.
- Mike borrows Harvey's corporate credit card for use in a case:Harvey: If this comes back to me smelling like stripper, you're fired.
- Harvey telling Mike he's getting really good at ... ruining the moment.
- Mike commenting that he was a fabulous criminal, only for Harvey to remind him about how his briefcase fell open and then there was weed all over the floor.
- Any time Jessica brings the snark:The really important thing is - that I'm taller than you.And when you're running the firm of Litt, Nothing, and Nobody...Harvey: You could teach-Jessica: I could also kill myself.
- Every time Mike gives Harvey an idea, only for him to reject it. A few scenes later, Harvey inevitably does the exact same thing Mike told him to do, insisting that he did not say it was a bad idea.
- For some unknown reason, Harvey has Michael Jordan's phone number. Mike calls his bluff, dials the number, and promptly freaks out as the call actually connects.
- Fridge Brilliance when you remember that Harvey keeps various signed sports memorabilia in his office among which are basketballs.
- Turns out MJ is a client of Harvey's.
- Louis's Hidden Depths? Going to the shooting range when he wants to be alone. Harvey decides to quote Dirty Harry to him:A .44 Magnum? You feelin' lucky today, punk?
- Apparently Harvey's pre-trial ritual involves Donna, at least five minutes, and a can opener.
- and, somehow, thumbtacks
- Louis's reaction to the tickets to the American Ballet Theatre that Donna bribes him with. His eyes look like friggin' saucers.
- And then when he turns them down and Donna reveals Jessica already knows about his sandbagging the DNA test:Louis: Oh, that phony bitch.
- And then when he turns them down and Donna reveals Jessica already knows about his sandbagging the DNA test:
- Mike's dinner with Jessica at the beginning of Season 2:Mike: You look so young!Jessica: Well you know what they say...(Mike nods)Mike: Black don't crack!Jessica: (simultaneously) True beauty is ageless.Mike: ... That's what I meant to say.
- Mike's grandmother reveals that one of her stories she told Mike was actually fake. As he's leaving, he jokingly asks her if there's any other secrets she hasn't told him such as if he's really from Krypton. She simply nods slowly and says "Possible..." with the straightest possible face.
- Harvey and Jessica make the same joke about redundant departments to Louis. Louis naturally has completely different reactions to the two of them.
- This exchange between Harvey and Jessica:Harvey: There can only be one.Jessica: We're at a funeral and you're quoting Highlander?Harvey: Yeah, a lot of people die in it. Seems appropriate.
- When the firm ends up being threatened with having their rights to the pick of Harvard graduates revoked due to their Training from Hell attitude towards interns, Louis hires an inspector to rectify the problem...who turns out to be nearly an Opposite-Sex Clone of Louis himself. Hilarity Ensues.
- In the same episode, Louis assists in one of Harvey's Eureka Moments. Harvey will only say it once, but "Louis, you're the man". Louis's subsequent mouthing of "what. the. fuck?" after Harvey leaves is hilarious.
- Anything involving Bruno. Even his euthanasia at the end of the episode is Black Comedy due to Louis's overblown reaction.
- Harvey meeting Mike's grandmother and they start talking. His reaction to the below quote is priceless.Harvey: Your grandson says nice things about you.Edith: Oh, he tells me you're quite the hardass.
- The day after Mike's grandmother's funeral, Harvey comes to check on him after a day of being ridden hard by Louis and a hundred petty insults he has to swallow. The pair proceed to get stoned off Mike's weed.Harvey: (picking up Mike's rumpled suit jacket) Have you heard of a hanger?Mike: Oh god, wow. I just got an image of you as a dad. With a little Harvey Specter all hair-gelled and like, pinstripped Oshkosh B'gosh. "Dad, don't play the odds, play the man. It's a win-win!" and you being like, "Go to your goddamn room."
- Harvey and Mike getting stoned together. Whatever isn't Heartwarming is hilarious, topped off by the two planning to sneak into Hardman's office to urinate on his carpet.
- When Donna is giving a clearly bummed out Harvey a friendly "The Reason You Suck" Speech over Mike not coming into work, she notes that unlike Mike, she doesn't have room for an eidetic since her head's already full of awesome in other ways.
- Donna and Harvey's prank on Louis. They plaster his room office with his mugshot and captioned with different statements like "Major asshole". This includes replacing his photos, his files, everything with mugshots. And to top it off, they superglue his chair so that when he stands up, his pants rip. The best part? Not his Oh, Crap! reactions. It's that he's actually happy about it because it means Harvey isn't (mostly) pissed at him.
- Louis seeing Nigel kiss Donna's hand at the elevator.
- Mike, lowly associate, runs into Darby, head of a multi-national law firm outside Harvey's office. They get along quite well, especially on the topic of Downton Abbey.
- Donna getting Louis to rub ink on his upper lip to make a Hitler mustache and performing the Nazi salute in the Season 3 premiere.
- Louis is having a great morning and he steps out of the elevator and sees Harvey's name added to the firm's. His expression is priceless and he ends up taking a day off to recover from the shock. Later in the episode we see a flashback that shows that he had the exact same reaction to meeting Donna for the first time.
- Any time Louis drops an Innocent Innuendo. Standout examples include:
- When Louis is trying to intimidate Jeff Malone. This one is so great, they even named the episode "Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner" after it:Jeff: Who do you actually think is better at determining whether a guy is guilty of insider trading, Louis? A career prosecutor for the S.E.C. or a monkey in some Italian suit.?
Louis: A monkey?
Louis: Well, you're nothing but a crowing cock. And the last cock that walked into my office learned what all the other cocks learned—that I eat cock for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Jeff: (doing an admirable job of remaining stoic) Louis, you're gonna let me in that deposition tomorrow whether you like it or not.
Louis: Why, because you're gonna run to Jessica?
Jeff: No, simply because I'm gonna tell everyone here in the office that you said you eat cock for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Louis: Yeah, that's right. It's goddamn delicious. Mmm! Mmm, mmm. (makes a show of licking his fingers)
- When talking about wood furnishings for his new house to impress his decorator:Louis: All I need to do is pick the perfect wood.
Donna: I don't follow.
Louis: Donna, the kind of wood you get says everything you need to know about what kind of man you are. How hard or soft it is. How much it bends when you're working it. How firm it is compared—
Donna: I got the picture, Louis.
Louis: No, I don't think you do. Making Tara love my wood is the first step toward making her love me.
Donna: Okay, Louis, calm down.
Louis: Nonono. I don't really want to calm down, because all I can think about is my wood.
Donna: So tell me, exactly how many different kinds of wood have you sampled in your day?
Louis: All of them. Mahogany, chestnut, walnut, all the nuts.
Louis: Ebon— Don't get me started on ebony. When I see ebony, all I want to do is put my hands all over it.
Donna: Oh, God.
Louis: I want to live in it. I want to smack it and hit it, rub it down. I just want to eat it. What's so funny?
Donna: (biting her lip to keep from laughing) Nothing. Um... I just think that a man needs to follow his heart and choose the wood that just feels right.
Louis: That's it. Donna. I need you to help me feel my wood.
Donna: Oh, dead god. (she flees)
- When arguing with a new tenant over kitchen arrangements:Stu: What kind of dildo puts bran bars and prune juice in a lease agreement?
Louis: This dildo. This dildo right here.
Stu: Are you nuts?
Louis: No. I'm your worst nightmare, because this quivering angry dildo isn't going away until it gets its satisfaction.
Stu: What did you just say to me?
Louis: I just said, this dildo is gonna be in your face slapping it around, then up your ass marching you right out the door if it catches you in violation of your lease ever again.
- When Louis is trying to intimidate Jeff Malone. This one is so great, they even named the episode "Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner" after it:
- When Mike returns to the firm in Season 4, Katrina and him get into a little bit of a insult war (as befitting two proteges that take after their mentors). They're actually pretty happy to see each other but their history makes it very awkward to express any sort of friendship. It culminates in an an even more awkward hover-hand airhug.
- Donna and Rachel's "The most important emotional question" scene. This cannot be quoted because the question can only be mimed, and the answer is conveyed with eyebrow acting, but it can be seen here. After they agree to stop talking about Mike and Harvey, what happens next must be one of the worst ever attempts to pass the The Bechdel Test by two women with names and important jobs.
- When Louis' sister, Esther (Amy Acker) drops by, everyone is stunned to see this incredibly gorgeous woman and Louis come from the same gene pool. Even better? Louis assumes their amazement is because of how "we could be twins."
- Harvey getting under Jessica's skin by constantly referring to her relationship with Jeff. Finally:Jessica: (stopping suddenly & turning Harvey to face her & utterly deadpan as she stares into his eyes) Harvey, say banging to my face, one...more...time...Harvey: (pausing to consider it) I'm not going to...but it's NOT because I'm afraid of you.
- Harvey, Louis and Jessica getting high together in the season six premiere.
- After much reluctance, Louis finally reveals how much money he has. Harvey and Jessica are shocked as Louis dryly points out that he doesn't waste his money on designer clothes or other fancy things. Harvey, of course, just snaps Louis is cheap.
- Louis falls for his interior designer to the point he makes up having a home in the Hamptons he wants her to design just so she spends time with him. He then goes to Donna and asks she buy him a house in the Hamptons.Donna: You want to spend a fortune buying a home so that you can spend another fortune remodeling it?Donna: Is it?Louis: Yes. What other way can there possibly be?Donna: You could just ask her out.Louis: I can't.Donna: Why not?Louis: Jesus Christ, woman, why are you trying to sabotage my relationship?Donna: You have no relationship.Louis: That's what I'm trying to tell you!
- Benjamin comes by to update Donna's computer and leads to her making one sexual innuendo line after another about her "hard drive." Later, Benjamin reveals that for two years, he's recorded everything Donna has said to make "The Donna," a data file for the right thing to say to everyone.Benjamin: You are without a doubt the most amazing legal secretary in the history of everything.Donna: Benjamin, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.Benjamin: Okay but you said it about yourself two weeks ago.Donna: That I did.
Harvey: Did you just talk without saying anything?Donna: You do it all the time.
- This leads to Donna taking "The Donna" along and bonding with "herself."
- Harvey's baffled reaction to it.
- When Louis is about to overreact on a case, Gretchen urges caution.Gretchen: There's more than one way to skin a cat.Louis: You mean, stuff a cat.Gretchen: Why would you want to stuff a cat?Louis: Cats are beautiful animals, only a barbarian would skin one.Gretchen: Louis, your mind isn't right.
- In flashbacks, we see Louis first meeting his shrink.Shrink: We have spent forty minutes of you listing every person who has disrespected you since birth.Louis: Are you kidding, we haven't even started.
- Louis describes Harvey as "a cross between Marlon Brando and Superman." The shrink needs a moment to think about that image.
- Louis is planning to "donate" to a fertility clinic. The clerk is thrown when, instead of the usual assortment of porn, Louis demands The Wall Street Journal to get in the mood.
- Louis gives Harvey a pep talk using the analogy of riding a horse. He's completely oblivious to how uncomfortable Harvey is with Louis' talk of "going bareback" and "I will ride you hard and fast."
- Louis comes to Donna's place to find her and Harvey together, wearing the clothes from the previous night, both looking tired out...and assumes they just spent the night talking on cases. The duo cannot believe Louis can't work out they slept together.
- To put this in perspective, Louis mentions what he saw to Samantha, who has only know Harvey and Donna for a few months and she instantly realizes they're a couple.
- They come to see Louis at his place and taken aback at how he wears a "mankini" to bed.Donna: Louis, Harvey and I are together.Louis: Yeah, I know you're together, I can see you standing in front of me.Harvey: See, this is what I'm talking about. How did he even make it through law school?
- Louis storms into a room and gives a curse-filled rant to the two people inside, assuming they're lawyers from another firm, including major bodily threats. At which point, the shocked duo reveal they're Susan's parents and Louis bids a hasty retreat.
Louis: Her name is Norma III. Who does that? On top of which she has all of her grandmother's body odor and none of her confidence. I'd be better off with the urn.
- It turns out that the reason for this is Louis got the wrong conference room from his new assistant, who's the granddaughter of his old assistant, Norma.
- Mike returns, talking to Harvey on how great Rachel is doing and "if I told you how great you'd never believe me."
- When Shelia loses a big client, Louis tries to make it up by getting her an anonymous donation for the same amount. Sheila, however, berates him as she found out.Shelia: Anonymous donations are never actually anonymous, they just want their names withheld!Louis: Well, that's just false advertising.
- The duo go to see Max, with Shelia snapping on "sharing our personal fantasies with your Nazi therapist!"Max: As I have told Louis no fewer than sixty-five times, I am not a Nazi.
- Harvey wants to seek info on Faye from her ex-husband.Harvey: Anyone married to that woman for more than three days is more than ready to talk shit about her.
- Faye's ex-husband visits Harvey and Louis under the pretense of selling life insurance and says the following:George: There is no way that you (Harvey) are marrying him (Louis).
- When Harvey is out of the office for a few days, Louis sits in it and automatically picks up the phone. On the other end is a major corporate CEO who thinks Louis is Harvey and wants to join the firm. Convinced the man will accept no one but Harvey, Louis decides to pretend he's Harvey for the meeting. Hilarity Ensues.
Donna: What the hell is on your head?!Louis: This is my Harvey wig.Donna: Your what what?Louis: I'm going to lunch, I need to look like Harvey, this is my wig, what's wrong?Donna: Countless things.
- Donna's reaction to the ridiculous wig Louis wears has to be heard to be believed.
Louis: I will take that gun from your bluff or I will call your hand or I will take 146 other guns and fire them at your face! (walks off) Nailed that shit.
- Just as he's leaving, Donna begs him to never wear that wig again. Louis thinks about it and shakes his head.
- Louis figured he could convince the guy they couldn't do business because of a conflict of interest with another client. But he's done such a good job playing Harvey that the guy buys up the other company so there's no conflict.
- Donna tells Louis he has to knock this off but Louis is more worried about how he feels from that huge meal ("How does the man stay so thin on these big deals...")
- Louis' managed analogy when Harold threatens him.
Harold: It's Harold Gunderson. How many Harolds do you know?Harvey: Until now, I didn't think I knew any.
- Harold calls Harvey up and jarred to realize Harvey has no idea who he is even after they worked together for so many years at the firm.
- When Samantha laughs at the idea of Harvey and Louis' sister, Harvey has to very quickly correct that "she doesn't look anything like him, I swear."
- Of course, Harvey has to get into this by having Samantha call up as Harold's secretary and making him think Harold is coming to see Harvey. Louis is literally hiding under a desk freaking out.
- Alex presses Katrina to work with him, using an earlier line to Donna on how "I'm Gandalf."Katrina: What's a Dandalf?Alex: Gandalf, with a G. You don't know who Gandalf is?Katrina: Alex, you know I don't follow sports.
- Louis is musing into a tape recorder on the choices of baby names.Louis: Levi Litt. Great idea, Shelia was "Jewy Jewstein" taken? Linus Litt, otherwise known as "Linus Vignus the kid who died a virgin."
- Of course, Louis has to dress up for his wedding like it's a 1960s British royal event with top hat, massive tie and...Harvey: Are you wearing a morning coat?Louis: Of course I'm wearing a morning coat! Frankly, I'm disappointed you're not!Harvey: You didn't tell me too.Louis: Well, I thought that went without saying. This is just a regular tux, you might as well be wearing asshless chaps!
- Louis' formal declaration when he becomes head partner of a "five-year ban on changing the firm's name."
Funny / Suits