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Funny / Face/Off

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The Film

  • Castor decides to get Pollux out by cutting him a "deal" to "locate" Sinclaire. Resulting in a very awkward exchange where Castor has to remind Pollux to keep up the appearance that he's snitching to "Archer".
    [Castor comes into the interrogation room sporting a grin on his face. He switches off the microphone]
    Castor Troy: You're supposed to be snitching and making me look good.
    Pollux Troy: Look good?
    Castor Troy: Mmm-hmm.
    Pollux Troy: Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
    Castor Troy: Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin. Brother, we're going straight.
    Pollux Troy: Ooh, my goodness. Did you exchange brains as well?
    Castor Troy: The first thing I need you to "confess" to is the location of the bomb.
    Pollux Troy: What about our $10 million?
    Castor Troy: What about "when I become an American hero for defusing the bomb?" What's the worth? Know that, thank you! Next question?
    [The two laugh. Castor wags a finger in Pollux's face]
    Castor Troy: You're not the only one in the family with the brains.
    Pollux Troy: No. Although now I am the only one with the looks.
    Castor Troy: Touché.
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  • When Castor-as-Archer begins to suspect his "wife" knows something.
    Castor Troy: Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.
  • Dietrich's comment "No more drugs for that man" when Archer-as-Castor has an averse reaction to the drugs that the real Castor normally takes.
  • Castor walking in on Jamie and saying "The plot thickens."
  • The prison fight where Archer-as-Castor has to psych himself up and convince not only Pollux that he is the real deal, but the rest of the prisoners. The scene where Cage goes bug-eyed in particular is the Funny Moment.
    The Nostalgia Critic: This leads me to one of my favorite concepts in any Nicholas Cage movie, Nicholas Cage trying to be Nicholas Cage.
  • "Dad, I'm sorry I shot you."
  • The prison has a very large jumbotron in the cafeteria that runs nature landscapes 24 hours a day (supposedly as a method of keeping the prisoners from revolting). Pollux Troy and Burke Hicks have differing opinions on it.
    Pollux Troy: I wish they would show those salmon spawning scenes again, I find them intensely erotic.
    Burke Hicks: Eh... fucking nature channel. One more waterfall, I'm gonna foam at the mouth.
    Pollux Troy: It's like they're begging us to riot. [sees Archer-as-Castor] Excuse me.
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  • Castor Troy is driving to Archer's house, he looks with utter derision and disbelief at all the pleasant, nice looking houses with mowed lawns and white picket fences as he drives by and "Don't Lose Your Head" by INXS plays on the radio.
    Castor Troy: Look at this place! I'm in hell! I may never get a hard on again!
    [Eve is leaving the house and about to get in her car and hears the music. Castor glances at her as he drives past. Realizing his error, he slams on the brakes, causing the music to stop. He looks back at Eve in the rearview mirror]
    Castor Troy: Oh, yes. Here we go. [He speedily backs his car up to the curb in front of his house. He then lowers his aviators in a suggestive way, rolls down the window and climbs out of the car]
    Dr. Eve Archer: Well I suppose it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
    Castor Troy: Come on, give me a break. Every house on this block looks the same. [walks around Eve] But then I saw you....Eve. My one and only Eve.
    Dr. Eve Archer: So how was your vital assignment?
    Castor Troy: Which one is that?
    Dr. Eve Archer: [scoffs] How should I know, Sean? [beat]
    Castor Troy: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, yes! The uh, the out-of-body experience, yes. That one.
  • When Castor wakes up after the surgery and has the doctor who gave him his face-ectomy hauled back to the clinic, the doctor fearfully asks what he wants. We then see Castor's faceless mug appear in the reflection of his glasses to reply:
  • Archer and Castor are fighting each other on a runaway speedboat, and have a simultaneous Oh, Crap! when they both look up to realize the boat is about to run into something and get launched into the air.
  • In Castor Troy's first scene, he plants a big bomb he calls "Sinclaire", arms it, then walks away dancing (and headbanging for some reason) to a choir singing the Hallelujah chorus, then stops upon seeing a blonde choir girl, who drops her sheet music as he approaches her with a grin and open arms.
    Castor Troy: You know I never even enjoy the Messiah. In fact I think it's fucking boring. But your voice makes even hack like Handel seem like a genius...
    • Castor then proceeds to grope the girl. His subsequent o-face is just priceless black comedy.
  • Once Castor assumes Archer's face, the first thing he does (after killing everyone with knowledge of Archer's real appearance, of course), is visit Archer in the prison, just to rub it in. The scene, essentially, is John Travolta giving a masterclass in hammy acting as he channels everything Nicolas Cage has already supplied to Castor Troy's personality.
    Castor Troy: Ooooo-WEE you're good-lookin'! Ya hot!
    Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror, only not.
    Sean Archer: Troy?
    Castor Troy: Now that is between us, OK?
    Sean Archer: But you were—were, uh-in-in-in-
    Castor Troy: In a coma? Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep! Read the newspaper lately? [thrusts an article in Archer's face headlined "Deadly Inferno at Walsh Institute", with Dr. Walsh's picture]
    Sean Archer: You killed them?
    Castor Troy: Yeah well. Beats paying the bill, huh? I mean, come on, uh, if a face lift costs five grand...[shows Archer's wedding ring on his hand] ...see anything you like!!??? [Cut to Miller, Dr. Walsh, and Tito, all bound and gagged, and being doused with gasoline]
    Sean Archer: Tito! [Castor drops his cigarette lighter into a puddle of gasoline, from which large flames erupt]
    Castor Troy: I torched all the evidence that proves you're you, okay? So, wow! [looks at watch] Looks like you're going to be in here for THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!! Now, I have got to go. I've got a government job to abuse and a [whispers into Archer's ear] lonely wife to fuck. Oh, I'm sorry...make love to! God, I miss that face! [He licks the side of Archer's face. Archer promptly grabs Castor by the neck, throws him to the floor, and attempts to strangle him]
  • The climactic Mexican Standoff, which keeps getting more and more ridiculous with all the people joining in, until Castor just says "Whee, what a predicament!"
  • "(sighs) Oh well. Plan B. Let's just kill each other."

Tv Series

  • In season 4's luminescence challenge, a black light tent is set up so contestants can test their makeup, McKenzie and Mr. Westmore go in the tent at one point to talk to a contestant. While under the black light, Mr. Westmore calls McKenzie, his daughter mind you, an oompaloompa due to how she looks in the light.
  • George in season 7 running around ridicously in the background while wearing a ginormous fat suit.
    • Not to mention George's ridiculously short shorts in the clown challenge, everyone can't help but stare at him and comment on his shorts. In a talking head interview he says that they are just jealous.
  • During Season 8's Miss Intergalactic challenge, which is about an intergalactic Miss America-style challenge, McKenzie plays the part of reading the bios of each of the aliens, but when she gets to Adam's Miss Cigar Galaxy alien, she says, exactly like a normal bio read, that Miss Cigar Galaxy's ambition is to lead an intergalactic war fleet and conquer the galaxy, and that her favorite pastimes include devouring her mates.
  • Anything Robert, the resident Cloudcuckolander, says. One example is he citing that he summoned a demon that would hurt him if he didn't win the challenge.
  • In the devil and angel challenge in season 11, the contestants are first shown walking into a church. Cat, who is dating fellow contestant Niko, talks about how she wished that the whole thing to just be a set up for them to get married by McKenzie who is an ordained minister. Her "missed opportunity" line at the end really sells it.
    • The subtle passive aggressiveness of the fact that their makeup for that week is a bride.
  • For the same makeup as above, Niko creates this massive, beautiful angel wings for their model with no issue in staying up. The judges are blown away by this, with Neville commenting on how tall and gravity defying they were, before clarifying that he was talking about Niko's hair.

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