Characters found in ML Lanzillotta's YouTube videos and vlogs.
"Normal" Persona

A gloomy, sometimes-suicidal, heroin-addicted novelist and freelance writer from a bizarre old Catholic family. Weirdly fond of Evelyn Waugh and Nancy Mitford. Claims to be both an atheist and Roman Revival Polytheist (somehow).
- Bungled Suicide: Hes had many of these over the years, as detailed in this darkly comedic [1]
video.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Some of his rants are pretty strange. At one point he goes on a mini-rant about his brother's extremely pale skin... and claims people can "see through" him. Also, his obsession with "being contrary" (doing the opposite of whatever people want or expect).
- Domestic Abuse: His ex, Matt, allegedly engaged in this. He very nearly breaks down crying in the videos about their relationship.
- Functional Addict: In the videos (especially this playlist [2]
), ML Lanzillotta claims to be a high-functioning heroin junkie.
- Hates Their Parent: Lanzillotta despises his mother and refers to her as a "bitch" numerous times. Many of his off-topic rants relate to his mom.
- Large Ham: Lanzillotta sure does make a lot of wacky faces... and he can be pretty dramatic at times.
- Quirky Curls: His wild, coiled hair and eccentric personality certainly fit this trope.
- Raised Catholic: To his disgust.
- Slut-Shaming: Does this to Cleopatra ("that Greco-Egyptian tramp"), of all people.
- The Unfavorite: Apparently, his parents prefer his "nerdy" brother. Though Lanzillotta might not be the most reliable narrator.
Tallulah the Flapper

A wild, wacky 1920s party girl. Her playlist can be viewed here [3].
- Addled Addict: Tallulah really likes cocaine... and seems a bit mixed-up, possibly from all the drugs and parties and sleepless nights.
- Deliberate Monochrome: Her vlogs are always in stark black and white.
- Expy: According to ML Lanzillotta, she's supposed to be a cross between Tallulah Bankhead and Agatha Runcible from Vile Bodies.
- The Flapper: Or so her name implies.
- Genteel Interbellum Setting
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Kind of a given.
- Lipstick Lesbian: Implied at various times.
- The Roaring '20s
Lucia Livia Rufa

The serious, shy, honorable part of M. L. Lanzillotta's mind... the Superego, the Spock, the part that convinces the rest to behave in a civilized manner. Her goals include marrying a centurion, persuading the other personas to quit drugs, and writing a Great American Novel. Rufa's videos can be found here [4].
- Ambition Is Evil: Believes this very passionately.
- Ancient Rome
- Fangirl: A great admirer of "the Deified Claudius", thanks to Robert Graves, even though she's technically opposed to anyone resembling a king (after all, monarchs are tyrants... and tyrants are un-Roman).
- Freudian Trio: Claims to be ML Lanzillotta's Superego.
- Gratuitous Latin: She's fond of this. Her video's summaries always begin with "Salvete" and end with "Valete".
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Despises Billie, the Id.
- One-Steve Limit: Averted. There are two Romans named Lucia... and both are played by ML Lanzillotta. Luckily, this one goes by the name Rufa.
Glasses Girl
A young woman who believes her plush toys are alive, even when they remind her that they aren't. Her playlist can be found here[5]

- Cloudcuckoo Lander: Glasses Girl often has strange, reference-filled conversations with her plush toys (Aloysius the Dalek, Jeremy aka Lamby Lamb, and Alison aka Mexico Doll). She's probably the strangest character.
Trixie the Usherette

- Expy: Her costume and name are supposedly based on the Usherette from The Rocky Horror Show (replaced in the movie by the infamous Lips).
- Fangirl: She sure likes movies...
Lucia the Accidental Time-Traveler

- Ancient Rome: Lucia's home.
- Fish out of Water: She's confused and disturbed by the modern world.
- Unusual Eyebrows: Her thicker, darker eyebrows help distinguish her.