The protagonist of the story, Herz is an seventeen-year old Eldritch Abomination who fights space demons. He's also very mentally unstable, but hides it in front of his friends so they wont worry. It's incredibly hard for him to die, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get injured, and he gets maimed and abused multiple times, not only by the space demons he fights, but by other kids that don't like him. He never fights back, despite having more than enough strength to kill them several times over.
- Action Hero
- Adaptational Badass: In the original comic, Boys Lessons, he was just a side character, and suddenly became incredibly sick, to the point of almost dying. He was also a very naive, clingy younger brother to his older brother Hirn. In this adaptation, he's much cooler, fighting space demons and acting more maturely.
- Beware the Quiet Ones: He can become quite terrifying if pushed too far, but he never tries to actually hurt anyone.
- Blessed with Suck: He has amazing fighting abilities, but his call to fight monsters can come to him at anytime, and is very unsightly. His powers have also alienated him from his peers, and they also make him incredibly sick sometimes.
- Eldritch Abomination: One of the core themes of his character.
- Friendless Background: He never made any friends due to his strange appearance.
- Loners Are Freaks: He's innately different from his classmates, and therefore hasn't stopped trying to fit in with them.
- More Teeth than the Osmond Family: He has shark-like teeth.
- Nice Guy: He's just a genuinely kind person.
- Shrinking Violet: He can become this when actually interacting with people, due to his inexperience with social interaction.
- Socially Awkward Hero: He's never exactly had any friends before Jura and Vanilla, so he's bound to be this.
- True Companions: With Jura and Vanilla.
One of Herz's best friends (also one of his only friends), Jura is kind to everyone (except Vanilla) and simultaneously loved and feared by the school he goes to. He always worries about Herz and is just a Team Mom in general.
- Agent Peacock: Overlaps with Badass Adorable.
- Badass Adorable: He's super tough and super cute.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: A whole lot with Vanilla.
- Fiery Redhead: His hair's pink, but it's close enough.
- Keet: He's very energetic and bouncy.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Smaller and younger than most of the other people he comes into conflict with, but he can easily take them on.
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The sensitive guy to Vanilla's manly man.
- Sleep Cute: Herz comments that he looks like a baby kitten when he sleeps.
- Sweet Tooth: His character profile states that he has a "passion for sweets."
- Team Mom: To almost everyone he meets.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: A lot with Vanilla.
A lazy junkie just out of school, Vanilla was involved with gangs before he met Herz and ended up sacrificing the trust of his fellow gang members for him. As a result, he and Herz became best friends, as well as he and Jura, although they're constantly fighting. He loves money, alcohol, and sleeping, and his morals are rather loose, a big contrast to Jura. He has a heart for music and plays in a band with a few of his other friends.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: LOADS with Jura.
- Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments of snark, and they're quite frequent.
- Deuteragonist
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He acts like an uncaring asshole sometimes, but he ended up becoming good friends with Herz and Jura.
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The manly man to Jura's sensitive guy.
- The Slacker: He never really does much work.
- The Stoic: Rarely shows actual emotion.
- Team Dad: Contrasting with Jura's Team Mom status, to the point that their arguments make them look like a pair of bickering spouses.
- Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Seriously, Vanilla? And his last name is Cream!
One of Herz's older brothers. He is a total Jerkass in general and doesn't try to hide it. However, there are some moments (although they're few and far between) where he shows kindness to Herz.
- Aloof Big Brother: Fits this trope to a T.
- Jerkass: Mostly to Herz.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Very rarely, but he has moments of kindness towards Herz.
