Strike the earth! Dwarf Fortress liveblog

While browsing this forum I noticed a distinct lack of Dwarf Fortress liveblogs, so, as requested by the carp god I've taken the duty of detailing the horrendous journey of a pack of alcoholic, murderous, suicidal, cat-loving dwarves. I'll be playing with a few mods, adding orcs and other fun elements. Well, here we go.

[1◊

Yes, let us strike the earth and- wait, ''giant flying jellyfishes?'' Uh... right. Moving on.

I and the dwarves arrive at Mörulgikut in the spring, but it's snowing none the less. We'd expected some water, but it's all frozen solid. The fisherking won't be happy. Oh well, after sketching up some blueprints for the fortress, the miners dig in.

[2◊

Yes! Microcline! This will never grow old. I also sent the hunter to scout the nearby chasm for giant flying jellyfishes, but she didn't spot any. Instead, she returned with news of green slime, golden golems, and naked mole dogs. This gives me an idea for a meat industry, if the fortress can survive the harsh climate long enough. Luckily I brought plenty of seeds, and the ground level of the fortress is dug in fertile soil. I plan to have the farm up and running before the end of, say, summer.

I start the construction of the fortress, while my hunter Cerol guards the premise of dangerous ratmen. I hear them, waiting in the depths. Filthy ratmen and their golden golems.

[3◊

Looks like everything's coming along fine, so I go check out what my hunter is doing. But wait a minute... What are these green slimes doing outside of the chasm!? NO! CEEEEEROOOOOL!

[4◊

[5◊

Oh... oh dear. My hunter is dead! She's dead! And it's been what, five minutes? I've got to get all my dwarves to safety. The green slimes are coming!

I've begun constructing a moat, even though I have nothing to fill it with yet. Perhaps the ice will melt this summer, and we'll be saved. I doubt it, though.

[6◊

Alright, the moat has been dug and I've constructed a wooden bridge. Now all I need is to make myself some mechanisms and rig it up to a lever, but that'll have to wait since my food stocks are starting to wane. Need to get that farm up and running! I ordered the fisherking to bring the food from the caravan into the safety of the fortress' vicinity. Hopefully he doesn't die. Oh, and we struck Olivine. And just after that, we struck serpentine. Both of them are green.

[7◊

What's this? Rain!? Praise Armok! The snow is melting and the storm has turned to rain! We're saved! Perhaps the ice will melt after all, and perhaps we'll all be spared the slimey embrace of the wild beasts.

[8◊

Huzzah! The ice has melted, and we have water! Now, to harness this I need to dig out an interior pool, otherwise it'll just freeze again next winter. I'll get to it eventually, but for now the moat is filled and the dwarves are safe. Until the ratmen come for us...

Unfortunately, I later noticed that my farmer had been traversing the icy ponds before they melted. He fell in. And. He. Died. So... we're down to five. It's all good though, one less mouth to feed and OH SHIT now who's going to fucking grow the fucking food for fucks sake!? I'll have to... umm... promote the fisherking to farmhand. Yes, that should work. At least it stopped raining. But that's just not enough for you damn dwarves, is it?

[9◊

I sent the fisherking in to try and calm him down; so far he's managed to keep the mad miner under control. Scratch that. He's still throwing tantrums and tossing his shoes all over the farm, also known as his bedroom. His madness has spread to the other inhabitants, including the fisherking shrink. Yet, among them all, stands 'Tom' Gamiliton, Miner Extraordinary.

[10◊

Some time later I managed to set up the farm properly, and the fisherking is now managing it, I found some gems in the mountain and we're still going. Somehow. Must be the ale. Oh, and it started raining. I also noticed that the old terror that took my dear Cerol from me has been named 'Dourhead' by the dwarves. Curse you Dourhead!

I've managed to set up a few bedrooms for our insane drunks, but we're still lacking doors. Should be along shortly now though. First priority is digging out the rest of the fort before moving on to masonry and mechanics. I've got some grand plans for an underground fighting arena... Oh, and it started raining.

And there ends spring, I hope you've enjoyed this hectic season, because it'll only get worse.

edited 11th Oct '09 9:37:23 AM by Tom J. S.

Enclose images in double brackets, like this: [[https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bug.gif]] -> [1]◊.

You should also PM colin so that he can put you on the list.

Summer. I suspect this will be... interesting. I’ll be using fewer pictures this time, since it was mainly a hassle not worth it. Either way! If you don’t know what Dwarf Fortress is, and you’re reading this out of pity; go here.

Now, back to the fortress. Everything is looking craptacular, and all my dwarves beside Tom are in chronic misery. Most of the seeds are planted though, and the moat is still keeping the slimes at bay. Most bedrooms are completed- for now. Time to start producing some goods and prepare for immigrants! Struck some more gems while digging out the rooms. I suspect this mountain contains some pretty fun stuff. For now we’ll have to try and not dig too deep.

On another note, it would appear the slimes are multiplying. I don’t really know what to make of this: interesting future war animals or my worst nightmare? We’ll have to let time tell. I’m planning to set up some sort of trap to catch these things- perhaps even Dourhead. His- uh, head? Body? Composition?- would make a great ornament in the future dining room. There are lizards running around in my fort, and I do not approve of such pest. I’ve begun the construction of a kennel, so that we may capture these rhino lizards and eat their brains. I’ll also use this new kennel place as a future dungeon for the green slimes to roam and devour annoying nobles. Gotta plan ahead, you know.

7th Malachite, 301, mid-summer.

The slimes are creeping ever closer. I haven’t yet figured out a way to deal with them besides imprisonment in an endless dungeon filled with treasures and conveniently placed coins, and we can’t afford the man-power to produce the cages and traps. For now I’ve ordered my dwarves to set the Butternut Bridge up to a lever, it has to be raised…

Further investigation regarding the nature of the green slimes still stuck in the chasm seems to indicate that they worship a giant mole as their god. Could the outside slimes be a new faction birthed by a civil war regarding the godhood of said giant mole? This dwarf thinks so.

[1]◊

13th Galena, late-summer.

I’ve begun the channeling out of a passageway for the chasm-slimes to connect with the ratmen to see if their societies clash at war or if they peacefully keep on planning their assault on my fortress. I expect the results to be very lucrative, unless the slimes can climb walls. Then I’d expect myself to be very fucked. It’s a risk I’ll have to take; FOR SCIENCE!

[2]◊

Oh, and the dining room is complete- along with the kennel area. Still no animal trapper or trainer to use it though. Don’t worry, they’ll come. They always come. We also struck mithril along with gold. I need to get a metal industry going later with all the fun stuff here.

And that concludes summer. Tune in later for Autumn: The Month of Science.

edited 12th Oct '09 9:53:02 AM by Tom J. S.

After realizing how Autumn is in fact not a month, but rather a season, and that ’Season of Science’ would’ve been a far better title... I returned. Strike the earth!

Nothing much happened until the caravan arrived, bringing with them a bunch of useless trade goods. I’ll have to use rough gems as currency, since I don’t have anything else of worth to trade. I consider purchasing some new seeds and ale, since we’re running low. Oh- but I’ve got the equipment of dead Cerol! Let’s scavenge her rotten corpse for valuable goods! The ratmen-green slime experiment has also begun. Now I just need to wait for them to cross borders.

27th Limestone.

We’re broke. The damn caravan dwarves didn’t bring anything besides giant cave spider silk goods! And these things are expensive. I had to trade away all of Cerol’s old crossbow bolts to afford one bag of rock nuts. I hate dwarves of my civilization and how they only bring ridiculously expensive goods for trade.

New plan regarding ratmen and green slimes: capture and slavery/breeding. Perhaps I can sell them to the dwarves when they return next year? Or better yet- the elves. Either way, I’ve begun construction of an elaborate trap tunnel to force these things into cages. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

1st Timber, late autumn.

NO! The moat… no, This Cannot Be!, it has frozen! Well, not all of it, some of it seems to have just evaporated- but the rest! THE. REST. IS. FROZEN. You know what this means? This means they can come for me. This means they will come for me. I can’t trust anyone. Need to… need to reroute the moat. Can’t let the voices in.

[1]◊

This somewhat uneventful autumn has at least given me another idea for capital punishment: drowning. I intend to channel out rooms in the ice during winter and lock pesky dwarves in there as the ice melts and their last bubbles of air disperse. And if they somehow happen to survive, I’ll deepen it enough for there to be no possible escape by swimming- and as such allowing the act of freezing to kill em. Or preserve. End autumn. Surprisingly calm in the fortress… I wonder why.

Nevermind about fort name, I found it.

I've heard that training in Wrestling to improve stats is very helpful for your militia.

edited 13th Oct '09 9:39:27 AM by AceOfScarabs

Yes, I tend to train all of my military dwarves as legendary wrestlers before moving on to maces and crossbows. That way they won't somehow collapse a lung while sparring  ^*

I might go for an entire army of crossbows if I can train these slimes as war animals. They're damn hard to kill, since they only have one limb: [BODY]

Winter ’01

The trees outside can’t seem to decide whether or not they’re covered in snow, so naturally, they’ve resulted to flashing between white and green. Some of em have died too, while others survived. I can only assume the dead amount of vegetation was suffering from something.

I’ve also drafted Tom, his mission this winter will be most perilous: he shall lure the green slimes into the traps I’ve set up in the caverns. We all pray he survive, since we don’t want the rest of the fort going catatonic on us. He is our only hope in taming these things before orcs rain down upon us, and if he completes his task I’ll construct… something… in his honor. Now, go, Tom Gamiliton, HERO OF THE MOUNTAINHOMES

16th Moonstone

OH SHIT. The slimes… they… they can’t be captured! They just, I dunno man, they just fucking oozed over my traps! I don’t know what to do now. I think this might be it. I’ve drafted all of my dwarves in the hope that their conjoined effort might be enough to take down this one slime that bypassed the traps. TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!

Tom’s… he’s dead. He died to save the fortress, he died a good death. After the slime crushed Tom it returned to the depths of the caverns, its mission complete. Now, without the help of this one dwarf I cannot say what will become of the fortress. First of all we’re walling in every possible route for the slimes or ratmen to reach us. Then we need a moment of silence. The slime has been named Failedtroubled and has joined my list of future victims. One day. One day.

[1]◊

23rd Moonstone

Ironically, the cage trap that Tom died upon has caught the green slime deity: the giant mole. I now intend to extract this mole, and either train it as an animal of war to later rain down heavenly fury upon its worshippers… or just, you know, stick it in some dining room. Maybe a zoo to commemorate Tom. We’ll see.

13th Opal

I just noticed something interesting: while I was looking away, the slimes decided to parade back into my trap tunnel. This time, however, they were caught. what

So I lost Tom due to the slimes not being caught in my traps, and now, for some reason they decide to fall for it? Dwarf Fortress you crazy. Anyway. Since they’ve been caught I’ve decided to remove the fortifications, and everything’s back to the norm. For now. Still waiting on some immigrants to come so I can get a nice kitchen up and running, and all the projects started. For now we pray the ratmen don’t act the same as the slimes. And that’s that for now.

edited 14th Oct '09 6:08:34 AM by Tom J. S.

Spring

What the hell was I up to? Oh well, I’ll think of something. Sure, I could just read the previous posts… but you know what? Nah. So, apparently we’ve got snow storms abound and yet again the moat’s frozen. It should melt soon though, so I ignore it. I need to up the worth of the fortress, and so I assign an Engraver to fix some fine-looking walls and floors. I begin with the rooms, perhaps if they’ve got some horribly bland paintings to look at my dwarves wont break down in tears the next time they lose their cow cheese. On another note, the fortress is drowning in puppies. Most excellent, I’ll need a meat source since I doubt the slimes have much meat on their inexistent bones.

16th Granite

Elves come to trade, but since I only have wooden goods (which they do not want) I’m going to try and trade a slime or something.

17th Granite

Disaster! The giant mole escaped captivity while I tried moving the cage. Cunning god, that is. But it shall not fool the might of dwarven engineering! NO! By the fake beard of Cacame, the mole god will be re-captured. Or killed. Eventually. I end up trading that bag I bought for some random stuff and a vampire figurine. Who wouldn’t want a vampire toy in their fortress? I’m sure it’ll bring us luck and good fortunes.

25th Granite

Man, does it ever stop raining? Oh, and my two-humped camel somehow spawned a calf without ever meeting a male. Strange but, by now, that doesn’t really surprise me. And I just spotted that giant flying jellyfish. Spooky.

15th Slate

Immigrants have arrived by the bucketload, so I’ve drafted a small army and increased productivity in the fortress. These brave dwarves have been stationed by the mole god to rid it of its mortal coils and let it join with the cosmos. The dwarf in charge of this operation shall henceforth be referred to as ‘Godslayer’. Gah! The battle rages on, and the mighty god has stricken down one of my wrestlers, but in the end we manage to subdue and slay the fearsome creature with a steel bolt to its head. Praise Armok!

Stupid god damn fisherman! One of the new immigrants has just agitated the nearby green slimes and led them straight back to the fortress. I dispatch the godslayer to take care of it, hoping that the slime is not filled with righteous fury over the death of its god- however, it appears to be a surface slime and as established before they may very well be atheists. After suffering major losses, we take the slime down and the godslayer returns home to rest. Well done, dwarf, well done. One of the hurt civilians join the godslayer legion, now dubbed ‘One-Eye’ and vows to hunt down every single slime in this god-forsaken world for taking his eye.

2nd Felsite

Today is a dark day indeed… while the godslayer was protecting the borders of our fair fortress, he was ambushed by surface slimes in a devious way- lopping his head straight off. One-Eye takes the place as the second godslayer, filled with more hate than ever before. One day they will fall to his feet and beg for mercy.

edited 16th Oct '09 12:29:53 PM by Tom J. S.

Slimes are your Killer Carp equals? Oh, my.

Season

Let’s get back to fortressing. Making some new rooms for the immigrants and such I see. Need to construct a sheriff’s office and expand the barracks, then we’ll begin strip mining this mountain for ore. Need to arm my troops quickly, I expect orcs to arrive and start stirring some shit up as soon as the moat freezes.

10th Hematite

Oh lookit that, I was right! Orcs have arrives to pillage and devour my cheese. However, we still have some precious months of heat left before the moat re-freezes. Need to plan out a new defensive tactic… and quickly. Soon we’ll all be orc food if I don’t! Maybe the slimes will eat them, but I somehow doubt that. I raise the bridge and start channeling out a new moat, one inside of the fortress. Gonna need a floodgate to stop it from freezing, but that’s do-able. It’s summer, I’ve got plenty of time!

God damn dwarves! They channeled themselves out of the fortress! Geez. I’ll have to build another damn bridge.

25th Hematite

Alright, everything’s set up. Pulling the levers now and there goes the water! I can only imagine the ‘kashooom’ sound and the ‘kasplat’ sound of the miner hitting the wall as the water pressures him down. He survived though. Seems like this fortress- uh… Mörulgikut… is faring fairly well for now. Not much more to say for now- keeping them orcs at bay while my army slowly assembles. Setting up some traps and the like. When they come, we’ll be ready for em.

I’m thinking… tunnel trap. With a ballista. Yes.

So I construct some chrome ballista ammo, but I can’t build the ballista itself without lumber (which we can’t get as long as the siege holds) so I let things be with the trap tunnel as my defense. If they get through that, I don’t know, I’m screwed? To be continued.

I'll have to put this at hold for a while, got a great deal of work ahead of me right now. Might be a few weeks or, you know, another day.

Time is strange.

...Page*trapped*?

...yep. *Fun* times are had with a name like that.

Though not as fun as "Headshoots" or "Boatmurdered", but looking at it now, it's getting there,

edited 4th Nov '10 4:08:04 AM by doorhandle

Aww, and here I was planning to do a DF liveblog myself. :P

for the record, I do recall there having been at least 2 other Dwarf Fortress LB in the past. They both kinda sputtered out and disappeared, however.

anyway, looking fun so far, I hope the slime training program proves to be interesting.

edited 6th Nov '10 6:14:40 PM by Blissey1

Are you going to do this on your own, or is this planned as a succession game?

Check the last post by the OP. This has been dead for over a year.

My liveblog of my current Dwarf Fortress game:

OH GOD WHAT IS THIS AAAA