My hair is whippable.
(OOC: I got bored.)
______________________________________________ THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!
I woke up today and I put on my clothes, because I'm naked and asleep. I had a huge dong that was 13 inches and everyone loved it even all the guys though I'm not homo. It was up and it was like 20 inches now when my girlfriend comes into the room and sees me (AN: she lives with us but my mom h8s here. I LOVE YOU JENNA <333). She saws me and was like:
"OMG Josh, you are like soooooo hot"
"Babe, not as hawt as you ;)))"
"You are super romantic" and she reminded me of Nicholas Sparks
We live in a chatuae (AN: it's a really big french house, it's chatway I think) in the middle of new york city because I got really rich from being a famous actor (AN: I'm almsot there)! But no one knows that there is magic everywhere [OOC: in this bitch]. Except for me and Jenna. We save the world from falling to the hands of evil, because, evil is bad in the world and they exist in new york city the most. We are tge only ones that know about this because we were born special.
I was born in a house when my mom died but she transferred her soul into me and I brougth her back to life. My dad killed himself but i couldn't do anything because he ran away and I hated hem forever for that. Jenna, my girl friend, had turqoise eyes and orange hair (like hayley Williams damn she is FINE AS FUCK) and huge boobs and made every guy jealous of me. We wr the most popular at our school, University of Columbia (it's 4 super smart peopel, which me and Jenna are) when the Darkness came. The darkness killed her but I survived her by taking her soul into me, then making another baby with a woman I didnt know and the baby came out to be her fully grown (she used magic so she wouldn't get hurt but the mom died)/ The Darkness was an evil blak thing that came from Pandora's box and it said, "IIII HAVE COOMEME FROM PAANDORAA'S BOOOX TO MAAAKE THE WORLD BLAACKKK" and people started screaaming. But Jenna and I stayed together and we combined our powers. I summonded a psychic storm that crumpled the hotel we lived in (we stayed there are Columbia) but didnt destroy the Boxx. Jenna tried to kill with with beams of ultrapink (like ultraviolet but STRONGER) light but she was capture by Darkness. Then, I summon up all my power to lift up the empire state building and baseball smash the darkness into outer space, but I psychically telepportaled Jenna back but she was hurt! I put the bbuilding down and took her to the hospital where they said:
"Im sorry but she only has a day left to live".
No, I absolutely never forget my password. And I never have a suspiciously specific denial.
The Beta Male
(OOC: Hi! It's been awhile.
I might as well do this. This is an analysis of the average comment types on fanfics. )
Review
User: TammyxDragonGurlx55
Omg! I luvd ur story teh ending is sooooo suspensful! I am sad for what is hapen 2 Da gurl Jenna. Plz updat soon!!!!111 i had a boyfend 1 teim but he dumped me Josh sound sooooo sexxah liek Aoshiro i would totally luv 2 do sexxcks wid him. Updat plz!
User: EmberTehHedgehog
That waz awful. Plz never write again, u offend us all. I wouldn't b suprised if you were a troll
Go away and lern to speak English.
User: Game Spazzer
...what the hell? o_e
Seriously. I'd say something else, but I'm still in shock.
User: Mudkipluvver
I would just like to add that my dick is that big. You're welcome.
User: Lizzie45
the next chapter needs Catgirls,ne? and sex! and kawai catgirl sex! and that guy from Labyrinth DESU!
User: UltraMario3
Can we say "Marty Stu"?
This story really isn't very good. Try giving your characters more personality, while giving fewer attributes. Also, a spell-checker might help.
Comments. — 1:
User: TammyxDragonGurlx55 said:
FUK U FLAMER!
____
Click Here To Add A Review
edited 21st Dec '10 3:13:34 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
My hair is whippable.
[OOC: YEAH. Marty Stu-ocity has been reached. Now to tone down the Rogue Angles of Satin. I could write seriously but it's more fun writing things badly. Boredom is deadly, people.]
______________________
AN: I took your guys reviews into consideration and I decided to change my story a bit. IT should make all of you happy (EXCEPT YOU EMBER AND MARIO FUCK U TO HELL).
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
I nearly cried.
"WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THIS" I yelled at the ugly nurse, who then ran out but tripped on my psychic beams. I wanted to kill her but I saw Jenna's face light up like orbs and I started crying (the nurse ran away).
"Jenna I nearly lost you" I cried between the mountainous sobs, "I don't cry but you're too beautiful for me". And I grabed her hand. She was almost okay but the darkness had infected her and made her die. Suddenly, we started kissing and I was on her bed with the nurse watching (she was a PERV) and we took off our clothes. Her boobies jiggled like mountains of jello while I put myself in her. She loved every 2nd of it when suddenly, the ugly nurse transformed! It was into the form of The Darkness! But the power of love was too strong, and, we climaxed and the power of that destroyed the Darkness. And I lifted the curse off of her
But was it for forever?
3 months later—-
"Jenna how did you survive???" all her real friends asked, who were all guys because girls made her feel ugly because they were jealous.
"Oh, we loved each other so much that the Darkness couldn't handle it that fucker" spat Jenny evilly.
"Yeah" I ejaculated, "We beat off (AN: Do you Get it LMFAO?) the darkness and even saved New York City" We were eating lunch in Broadway because Jenna works here part time, and I played that guy with the horse when David Radclip or w/e his name is isn't here. We always got top reviews, when suddenly, Jenna's; boss bitch came in. She was bitchy and we all thought she was a lesbion who loved Jenna but we didn't say anything bcause we were too nice to say anything.
"JENNA GET BACK TO WORK YOU BITCH" yelled Cruell Sa'Tan (thats her name in r/l look it up!)
"OMFG FINE" and she started crying, which made me angry.
I yelled at her, "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN" and I lifted her upside down until all the blood came to her head and she turned nice. I; never known this could happen but it worked!!,
"Oh I'm sorry Jenna, I'm just jealuos of you", and all of her friends said and I said, "You are: jealous lesbo". She then let out a wink towards Jenna and me and we found out she was bi (I think bi girls are hawt because I can get with one while they're with a girl. ALL U GUYS KNOW IT'S TRUE). She turned beautiful and became one of our best friends.
When suddenly the door crashed down and a bunch of ghosts came in. It was THE PHANTOMS OF THE OPERAS. But Jenna and I knew, what we had to do. We had to sing; and we sang amazing, like the people on Glee bu.t so much fucking better (because Glee SUX lol). The ghosts became scared and ran away and me and Jenna did our making out victory pose. We won. When a critic jump[ed out of a chair and said, "I'm gonna sign you up to a contract! Me- I mean WEEE could make MILLIONS!"
And I said Yes.
edited 21st Dec '10 7:09:29 PM by HairWhippedByHair
No, I absolutely never forget my password. And I never have a suspiciously specific denial.
((OOC: Just reread my post. I should have put out hints that Aoshiro would begin the invasion as swiftly as possible, and won't notify any other villains of his plans until it has begun. Sorry.))
"Wait a second," said Arthur. "Shoudn't I be in Ultramar by now? Also, thank you for giving the people of Soul Society more time to prepare." Then he teleported away! Then I raged at the Badfic Aothor and said:
"Dam it Damn it dam it! I should have launched the invasion immideately for it would have been dramtically appropiate! Effing useless Speirtoh and Dlecks!" I can say those words as Sepiroth and the Daleks were OOC enough to overlook those kinds of insults.
"The portals are ready, Master Aoshiro," said a nearby Mad Scientist.
"Good," I said even though I was evil. "Send missiles through the portals first, then Aircraft. Figthers before Bombers. Then commence the ground assault. Soulforge all prisoners you can find into Baneblades, Knightmare Frames, and Mammoth Tanks.
"Yes, Master," said the Mad Scientist. He then went to relay the orders.
I, Eboby, Indigo, Aryll, Samantha and Hei posed Badassedly in front of the portals while the bombarfment began. We watched the explosions as we waited for the time to attack. Then suddenly, a smaller portal opened and Snapsui and Loopintake came out, gasping!
"The people of Soul Society have discovered our attempt to replace the real captains. They have opened up an alliance with Konoha and it's ninja. There may also be an alliance with Cloud Strife and his group in the works. Needless to say, they've been entrenching for a while."
"Damn it!" I said. The planes had alredy been sent and the ground assault was about to start. "I do not want to see u rite now. Go back to where we've hidden the real captains and make sure they don't escape."
"Ok!" they said. I and the group resumed our badass posing. Then, as the ground forces began to move, we rushed into the portal, weapons ready for the assault!
edited 18th Feb '11 8:07:05 AM by BadficFetish
The Beta Male
An: we ned a camyo!
"Yaaaaaaaa111" I Baltle Cyriedand rAised my spel shotting bankai and ran forward liek Leeroy Jenkins except I am not getting us all pwnt by dargons. Then folowed Indigo And Arthur nd Ebony and tben Aryll who just desided 2 show up and Hei and Sam And then teh rets of the solders. Then sepitot and teh daleks and ruyk cam in as a last Minuet backup and sloa bcuz tehy wer sory for slowing Us Down bcuz it was der falt
Ther we're lots of tripy sykodelic lites in the pprtal and then we cam out da other sied.
Thinks in. Soul sosiety wer peiceful bcuz they wernt expecting dsa atak 4 another 2 dayz(AN: i am smrt and no about batle tactx and this is how they work Dont qestonme!) and I saw a small kid shinigami salep so i walked up to him and sed
"Hello."
then i stabbed him in the stomak.)
Then indigo stabbed him in da ballz.
I yelld as we starting 2 storm the big bilding up ahed!
Lots of ppl tried 2 stop us but be haked and slashed and stabbde and shot wsith SMG's and stuff we took from the Master Cheif armory
Then som obnoxus idiout in orange jumped behind me butthen Indigo savd my lif even tho he never stod a chance agenst me with all of my powrz and stabbed him in da ballz and then da eye socket. He died weezing "BELIEVE IT". I thanked her with a kwik grop and a make-out b4 going bak 2 figting.b Ther wer many ninjas outsied, but Conservation of Ninjutsu ensurd that they all died easily. The bigtiem ninjaz wer stil in the big bilding, i think
unafter a few ours later we wer redy to take the building it self. The outer regions had completely fallen! I asked a nerby solder named Josh (AN:lol u c wat i did thar) 4 a progres report
He sed " ther we're no survivors! Also, we found 1 of teh places wer Snapsui hid a. Capten so we just killed him 2 b sur. Ten Aryll told us to disgised sefirot as him and tide him up! It genius"
Arthur was over by a hous looking agnry. He sed
"This is getting ridiculous...." I ignored him bcuz he is a stoopid winy bich.
I wanderd arund the burned vilage and I herd a noise behind me it was.......... .
RUKIA! She had com to ambush me When I Was alone bucz of Plot Induced Stupidity! 1
"Fight me, you canon-raper!" She said, drawing her sord!
I smild and sed badassly and sexxahly wile drawing my bankai, "But of course. It's what I do."
AN: lev revews! If u do i will updat! And fuk u flamers, especially u Ultra Mario R piking on a story i liek and also bcuz u r mean and u kep calling it "constructive criticism" BUT ITS STIL CRITISIMS U JERK!!!1
4thos of u ho dont get Aoshiros line, it is clever bcuz he nevr sed wether it was fiting or canonraep wat he did lol!
edited 22nd Dec '10 1:53:21 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
((OOC: That was great!))
I and Rukia clashed!1 I knew that I could beat her easily as I've begun tapping in2 my latent Fanic Author powers that I got from being Arthur's Spectre. She got her sword to Shikai but I knew I was about to overwhelm her when-
Naruto (who didn't actually die, it was a Kade bunshin) blasted me away with a Rasengun! Not only that, but it turns out that he had already gained control of they Kyubi's chackr like in the latest arcs.
"Time to get your ass kicked, you son of a bitcha (Buffy rox even though I didn't wotch it)!"
Then...Naruto's parents (also Memetic Badasses) emerged through a portal connecting their world's afterlif with Bleach's!
Oh Carp, I said to myself. I then shot a trope bullet marked First Law of Resurrection, ressurecting Uchia Madara, The Lich King, and Kirby as my minions (yes, I cloned this idea from Kabutop)! Now our numbers were even.
I confronted Naruto, Kirby confronted Rukia, Madara confronted Naruto's Dad, and the Lich King confronted Naruto's mom. Madara gloated as he still had the ability to use Fanfic Author techniques.
Then Arthur dropped down from the sky and used flames from relena bashing.net to burn up Madara's hands (Madara got the ability 2 use Fanfic Author powers by cutting off a Fanfic Auhtor's hands and transplanting them onto him like he did with his brother's eyes and Pain's rinnegan). Madara used Izanagi to repair the damage but he went back to using his old hands that can't use Fanfic powers.
"Sorry about this, but I have to make a move for self-preservation," said Arthur. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm moving with my parents to Ultramar, and you can't stop me this time." Then he went away. I tried bringing him back but my powers weren't strong enough yet. But I had plotvision now and I knew that we would meet again as enemies. I cursed.
Even the greatest of tacticians make blunders, and Indigo, Ebony, Aryll, Samantha and OOC Hei certainly weren't the greatest. When the army of Shinobi, Samurai, and Shinigami rose up from the earth and surrounded the vanguard of their army, their shock and surprise at what happened was so intense that they weren't able to act immideately.
You see, it wasn't just Konoha that was allied with Soul Society, but the Allied Shinobi Forces
as well. Uchia Madara's OOC abandonment of his forces (except Sasuke) to pursue his 'inflict the Worf Effect on everyone else in The Multiverse' plan had resulted in a quick victory even against Kabuto and his Edo Tensei army, bringing things to an immidiate resolution. Before the Alliance could dissolve due to having fullfilled its goals, a call from Soul Society had reached their headquarters.
Said call contained the details of Aizen's brief takeover of Soul Society, and his easy defeat in Tokyo by Aoshiro Hitsugayt, who kept company with Mary Sues and Marty Stus of the highest order. Further investigation revealed that the original captain of his squad had been Toshiro Hitsugaya, and that two other captains, Snapsui and Loopintake, had been acting as moles for the High Queen of Mary Sues. The call had also told of the circumstances of Uchia Madara's death, and the fact that a Trope Gun was involved. Redeployment to Soul Society had been immidate.
Indigo now faced Ichigo (who had been held back from figthing until the ambush was sprung), while Aryll faced Hinata. Samantha and Hei faced Zack (the Lifestream had been connected to Soul Society as well), and Cloud.
Gaara was leading the Allied Shinobi Forces against the Mercenaries of Aoshiro, having made a Rousing Speech that temporarily canceled out the Conservation of Ninjutsu's effects. He and Ebony were now locked in a fierce battle, the former figthing for the sake of his friends. The tide looked to have turned.
However, an unfortunate Sajin Komamura had 'rescued' what appeared to be his comrade, Jushiro Ukitake. Even more unfortunately, he decided to bring him straight to the joint headquarters of the Alliance. It seems the war had just beun in earnest...
((OOC: As a christmas gift to our fans (and the canon characters), why not up the coherency until Dec 25 passes? Not quite to Fan Fic Recommendations level, just enough to give the good guys' defeat here more dignity. What do you say?))
edited 23rd Dec '10 7:01:51 AM by BadficFetish
A Seeming Defeat
This narration is from me, Stu Commander, chief general of the High Queen of Mary Sues. As her highest subordinate, it is my duty to mantain surveillance on the dangerous Marty Stu Aoshiro Hitsugayt, who may either be the way to our glory, or the cause of our doom. Here is an account of the battle:
Aoshiro's battle with Naruto was intense, but the Shinigami Stu had become too reliant on his recently emerged authorial powers, letting go of several opportunities to nail his enemy with a Worf Effect bullet. Finally, an extra-large Rasengan and several hard kicks subdued the would be Evil Overlord, bringing him down to the ground.
Uchia Madara, the Lich King, and Kirby were in the grips of chronic Badass Decay because of their proximity to the Black Hole Stu who had brought them back to life. They were still able to fight, but weren't any match for the enemies that they now confronted. They were also defeated and captured.
Indigo's group fared better. The God-Mode Sue managed to defeat Ichigo by castrating him with Ice Shards and kicking the open wounds. Aryll defeated Hinata by controlling the weather and smiting her with hailstones the size of minivans. However, Samantha fared badly against Zack, surviving only through sheer power. Hei, suffering under Badass Decay for so long, was quickly defeated by Cloud.
It was two against two. Indigo attempted to fight Zack in his own field by conjuring a sword almost as big as his, but quickly lost. Aryll was burnt up by Cloud casting fire spells, and only survived by surrendering. Ebony was now the only leader remaining.
The "Goff" Sue put up a harder fight against her opponent than expected, finally managing to escape to an area where a battalion of Elite troops was entrenched. There she attempted to rally her forces and regain the initiative with dwindling success. Doubt and fear were beginning to spread through the Mercenaries, and it looked as if Aoshiro's rise to power will be cut short...
Or not.
((OOC: As this is Dec 26 now, time to get back to our scheduled Rouge Angles of Satin!))
Hello there, this is Aoshiro Hitsugayt, and I'm narroting again. Here is what happened after I was captured:
Suddenly......the enrmy HQ Exploded!!! Everyone looked up surprised. Then, I and my group burst out of our ropes and straightjackets and Back Stabbed Nartio, his parents, and Rukia! They got infected with even more OOC while we were dueling so they died easy. Same with Indigo's group.
The Daleks then began entering the battle and killing all those who desserted. The remaining cyborg T-Rex's joined in too. We even got some mercenary Fast Zombies to help us in the battle. Then, a spaceship belonging to the High Queen of Mary Sues appeared! On it was a persun made of Living Armour who had four arms and four blades. He said:
"My name id Stu Kommandorf. I'm hir to helpp u."
The Beta Male
(OOC: Hooray for spelling and plot twists! Also, kudos on the battle summary, which sounds a lot less stupid than the one I threw together. Now, let's see if I can keep up the momentum you've built.)
Being smart like i am i sed, "I instantyl trust u!" He grabbed indigo who was nerest her arm and sed "come with me i will Help U Excape!"
We ran thru the coridor until we vcam 2 da room were our wepons wer being holded We Quickly piked up out weponzand ekwipment and kept runing!!111
Samantha then decided 2 comit suiside bcuz of her sad at loosing Hei.! "NUUUUUUUUU!! i scremed sadly."
Then da Stu comandr sed "LEV HER WE HAV 2 GET OUT OF HERE!!!!11!"
So we ran and idigo was crying bcuz we lots our frend.
We finally got 2 a saf place it was a tree deep in some woods that was over a mil high and the trunk was relly thik and we could go insid it I went their becuz indigo and aryl and arthur and i usd 2 play here wen we wer kids.
This mad me sad. i missd Arthur even tho he had turned agenst me. He was fun 2 mak fun of even tho he mite hav ben just as powrful as me i also missd all da sweet parties wwe had at scool bcuz at aoshiros scol they olny did cool things
I was snaped out of my train of thot by indigo taping me on tbe solder and leding me into the tree, wich we climbed. Then indigo usd functional magik 2 maek beds. Ther wrr also lots of animals 2 hunt for food and berries and fruit and stuf.
Then we went to another part of the tree and begabn 2 talk
"So" sed indigo "we need 2 com up with a strategy. The trops have gone into hiding and await hour Orderz via radio"
Well" sed Samantha "we hav sufferd heavy defeat but now we hav a new ally lol!" She pointed at teh new guy.
"it is my pleasur 2 b her, I assur u." he sed, smiling ryly.
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
((OOC: Darn it, I should have written the Daleks and other reinforcements as having engaged the enemy troops as well, turning the tide. That's what comes of (non-deliberate) shoddy writing, I guess. But this new sequence of events also works. Kudos!))
Stu Commander's narration
After the HQ of the Shinobi/Samurai/Shinigami was blown up by Sepiroth, Aoshiro's forces stood a great chance of winning. With the Daleks, Cyborg T-Rex's, and Fast Zombies being thrown into the battle, the initiative looked to be regained. Not merely that, but Aoshiro and Indigo's groups had killed their opponents through treachery and deprived them of their strength.
But thanks to the Dalek's liberal definition of 'Deserter', we were defeated by a hair's edge. Now only the best of the best of our troops survived. If our morale can be kept up, there is a chance that we can win with less effort than we put in the previous battle.
But I'm not certain that that is what would benefit the High Queen. Aoshiro shows great Ambition and great power, and it is almost certain that if he defeats Arthur and absorbs his Psyche, he can usurp the High Queen and her kingdom. Despite the Canon Defilement that he brings to the Universe every day, I don't think that he should be left unchecked.
I will send a report to the High Queen of Mary Sues today. Her decision shall be mine.
Aoshiro's Narration
We still held 1/2 of Soul Society, but our troops were keeping a low profile. We were still Soulforging people but much less noisily because we didn't want the enemy to know our plans. I and Indigo and the others including Stu Commander were sitting around a council table.
"We shoud Sex 1st be4 btlling!" said Indigo.
"No, we must not mex six and bludshed!" said Aryll who hated the idea of sexing as she liked killing better and also she wasn't in pubrty.
"We should grant the troops some time to rest, and make sure that we have clear lines of supply." Stu Commander said.
Samantha and Hei then said: "Let's hire more mercenaries!"
Not yet" I snaped. "We got a 'heavy defeat' in the fist place because many of the Mercs were cowards and desserters & got killed by the Dalks." We should follow Sut Commander's idea first. Then...we unleash the Soulsteel Baneblades!
edited 29th Dec '10 3:23:51 AM by BadficFetish
Yay!1 said Indigo, Aryll and Ta Enoby. Everyone then went to their rooms to rest. I began eating and drinking before falling asleep. When I woke up, it was almost night and the sun was setting. I began preparations.
When night fully came, I, Indigo, Tara and Aryll were there on the top of the roof. Samantha, Hei, and Stu Commander (who had painted his armour blak) were also there but in another group. We had Hang-gliders made from black silk that we brought from Aizen's mansion.
"Here is the plan. When the Soulsteel Baneblades cum to attack, we will too. Not just that, but we shall also send the Daleks, Fast Zombies, and Cyborg T-Rex's in support. The Sardaukar and the Spartan-II's will be split between keeping security in the regions already occupied, and taking advantage of a surprise I prepared for the HQ Ruins. Understood?"
"YES SIR!!!111" said Hei Badass Decayly. I then got out a walkie-talkie & gave the Baneblades the signal tu move out. I also told the Daleks to com as well and the Sardaukar an Sprtan-II's (not to be confused with dose lame Spartans from 300! The Theban Sacred Band iz butter than them [but I wish they wer femmes!]) were given their orders.
There was lots of blasting and screaming and death. Teh Civvilians screamed as they wept because they knew that they will be taken over. There were sttill some Ninja and Samurai and Shinigami and they were figthing back. Suddenly, we jumped from the roof and began hangliding!
There was more figthing and screaming as we began to terrofy the people. Aryll was killing lotts and drinking their bloud. So many wer afraid. But that was not the only thing in store for them. When the terror grew most, a portal opened over the ruins of the Enemy HQ, and Aizen's mansion which was ours now landed on it!
Several Sardaukar and Spartan detachments surged towards the mansion to make sure that it stayed ours. Victory was my side's!
Several Minutes Later
The Queen and I have decided. We will betray them at Ultramar.
The Beta Male
AM: ok, so like i saw this thing by this guy and it was relly funny, butthen eh got band so i dont want too get band asswell so i will havecopyrited things for this chspter so this will probly b taken dowb! OMG o_o i am a marter for da cause!
I laffed as all the people in the soul sosiety had to bow down to me and then i had them sau "all hail aoshiro" and then i desided to hav seks with indigo agen and we did it on top of a pile of skeletins and it was soo sehasxxcksah! Aryll was mad at us but we told her 2 fuk of bcuz she was interupting true loev! Then I desided, )I hav conkered the afterlief, so now I must conker something mare challenging to be even moar evil! "
I posed this questin to the others andthe n everyone was confused and ten the stu comander sed )how about space?"
I looked at him and sdd "U R A Geniouse!" Then I asded wat planet we shuld taek overe.
Then sam sed " LV-426!" But I sed "no" bcuz I alredy killd everything there in my baksorty.
Then hei sed "we shuld go and take over the planet Master Chief! This soundd fun bcuz we had alredy goten , lost of wepons from they
Then Aryll sed we shud taek ovr Aldeorn but I sed that that planet is a pussy and it woodent be any fun.
Then the stu commander sed "how about taht palce with the ultramarines it is call ultramar
i wanted too go her bcuz i remembrd about arthur and i wanted to rub my taekovr in his faec.
The Stu Commander was still talk "they wud be completely not expecting us so we could have a advantige in a fite"
So we desided to go 2 ultramar! Indigo told me to "" and sed
(An: her we go! Plz revew. Plaz dont flam ! Also revew.)
edited 29th Dec '10 2:15:48 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
"We r so going to winn." Then we went to our bedroom, with Samantha and Ebony following. There was a big screen plasmer TV and a gold remote with 100 buttons made of rubys and spphires and emralds and diamnonds. We turned on the TV and pressed a button.
We watched some Anime then switched to ICarly, which thanks to Character Derailment was now a show about the cast sexing on camera. We watched their nacked boddies until we went hornie. Then Enoby took off my colths sexily while Indigo took off Samanther's.
Oh Oh Oh!!!111" said Enoby as I put my thingy in hers passively. Samantha and Indigo began to do it with each other than they did it with me. We got out wine and vodka and smeared ouseleves with Hunny and Olive Oil like the Greeks only hetero. We had fun.
Outside the Mansion, our troops were also having fun as we hired the finest Courtesans. However, the Daleks were Eunuchs so they just helped modify the outside of Aizen's mansion with Soulsteel to make it look more evil. There were walls and wacthtowers and Gargoyles that war not alive. Lots and lots of guns and lasers were also installed in the mansion to ward off intruders.
We also began hiring more Mercenaries to fill up the numbers. Lots of Pokemon and Digimon came into our army, along with Demons from Shin Megami Tensei. We also hired the Gunslinger Girls and gave them Guns and Bullets made of Solsteel. Several Exalted of all types came in as well. I gave them a part of my Author Powers to make them stronger while also enslaving them to my will (The Yozis do that ok!).
W now had lots of War Machinnes. We had Baneblades and Dreadnoughts and Leman Russes and Penitent Engines and Basiliks. We also had Mammoth Thanks and Flames Tanks and Stealth Tanks and Artillery. There wer also Airships like from Final Fantasy. All of them were made from Soulsteel made from the civilians and other enemies.
When we finished our sexing and our resting, we gathered the majority of our troops together for the assault on Ultramar. On the Mike I spoke to them: "Let us get Ready!"
((OOC: I edited "Now we are Ready" to "Let us get Ready". I also did several minor edits to a few of my posts.))
edited 31st Dec '10 4:26:31 AM by BadficFetish
The Beta Male
(OOC: Thanks again for the green light. I'll post a link in the Out-Of-Character Section or something when it gets started. )
We kidnaped Bill Nye the Science giy to maek modificarions to the airshiships to make them fly in space and then we killed him 2 toe up any lose ends and then we loded the torops onot them!
We got a specual airshup that was made of adamantiom and diamond and a special ally made by biil nye that was even stornger then soulsteal! It ias panted balk and had red stirprs on it to make it lopk cooler
Than we loded up some midified Rwings 2 us as fiter jets in case of fight in space
we wnet up in it and then ew wentup into space!!11
on teh ober we stoped to paln battle stargegys. Stu Commander was espsally helpful and always as sure wer the enenys are be.
Hei ans Samantha had hardcor sex and then the desided to bake toogather in the kischen. Sam kissd Hei on the cheek and he went brihgt read lol!
I and Indigo also palyd with Aryll we playd Blaz Blue and had lots of fun it made me smil to see her laug then Indigo gav her a hug and then Ayrll sed "Aoshiro and Indigo I lobe you"
JUST THAN AN ALKARM SAUNDED!!
AN: i just fand out that i hava wikipedia pagr and i havint see it yet but i am famus so SUCK ON THAT, FLAMERS! Werd thing tho it is listed under the entyr "Abhorrence" if sum1 cud tel me wat dat mesns kthx! PLZ REVEW!!!111
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
We portaled in from the souther sife of the Star System like Hive Fleet Liviatahn did when it had approached from the souther side of the Galaxy when it came (u see I do kno stuff abot Warhammer and Spess Tactics). But the Ultramarine navy knew all about that too and sent in Ships to ambush us! There was a big firefight out in space where we were trading attacks.
I sent out ImperialDramon, Mewthree, and Horus (The Egyptian God not teh Primach u Prepgoffs!) to destroy the spaceships. There was figthing and figthing and figthing until I pointed my zanpaktou at the lead ship and used Bankai (as u know, my Bankai iz a Dragon that can transform into a Harry Potter curse).
The Bankai was an Imperio Bankai which mind-controlled the Spaceship itself and made it mine. I used it to blast the other ships and so the fleet was defeated. Then, we began closing in on the plaet's south pole where all the ice was. Suddenly, I had an idea.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I shouted. All my Airships and the Spaceship I captured partnered up with the Demons, Pokemon and Digimon to fire a blast of concentrated Heat towards the South Pole. The Ice melted and flooded all the costal cities so that the cities in the middle of the continents can be reached by boat. Also lots of people died but they were all enemy soldiers as the civilians were all evacuated (the Ultamarines were able to do that, okay!).
Then suddenly, we got a message from the radio: "The Ultramarines have brought all of their Sucessor Chapters in2 the battle! Their fleets have emerged at the outer reaches of the star system!"
"Then wi have 2 end this quiclky!" I said. We then began the ground assault!
((OOC: Happy new year!))
edited 31st Dec '10 7:32:50 AM by BadficFetish
The Beta Male
(OOC: You too. Also... TADA! Have fun.)
when we got to rhe planet it rained muffins and the grass was blue and hambrgers ate ppl!1 ten i got te airships that coild go in2 spade and we landed them on the planet! the i shouted "TODAY WE FITE FOR VICTORY!" and everyone rushed forward1! then the daleks rushed in first bcuz they wer like the tranks and than evry1 came in and is shouting and they are waved the swords and guns and stuff! and then aryll mind contorlld then and so they startred fighting for us!
They wer waiting for us her to!" I escalimed! and i took out my zanpajtou apfter the daleks had opend up a hole in thefront lines. this looked like and Unwinnable Battle!!!!!!21111 There was no waytthey could hav outmanooverd me uinless....." i gasped as i realixed stuff "a MOLE!!!!!!111"
i LOO Ked aound for the Stu C Ommander but ge was nowere to be seeing. then i then called forward my troops and wer chargend itno battle again! then i was stoped by SOMEONE PRESSIGN A BLADE TO MY THROTE!
it was........
Stu Commenader!
"YOOOO! " "YOU ARE THE TRAITER!'
"Yes," he said.
YOU LED US ONTO AN MABUSH!"
"Yes," he said again.
"YOU ARE WERING WOMANS UNDERWARE!"
"No," he said.
"Damn, I thought that 1 would work...." i sed sadly.
"FINE! " I CONTI Nued "WE WILL DUEL THEN!'
AN: 2 b continued! what will hapen? only tiem will tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 lev revew or i wont updat!
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
((OOC: Thanks!))
I got free of Stu Commander by surrounding myself with an aura of OC Erasing Energon and cut at him with my Zanpaktou! However, he parried with one of his blades and counterattacked! His swords shone with the light of the four elements and he moved as fast as the wind. But I was also fast and he did not land a hit. Too bad.
Indigo was in God-Mode Sue armour and was figthing Calagr who was the leader of the Ultramarines. TaEbory was figthing Uriel Ventress and was summoning Crookshanks at him. Aryll was figthing Cat Scarus and wielding a Blood Bolter made out of Blood. Samantha and Hei were figthing Tellion. And they were losing!
I was not going to have any help at all except for Uchia Maderia, teh Lick King, and Kuribeh. So I called them! Uchia Madera tried Mangekyo Sharingan on Stu Commander but that didn't work as his eyes were made of Sueish Unobtainum and were immune to illusions.
Teh Lich Kind and Kirby were gar more effective. The Lich King bagan firing Icicles at Stu Commander while Kirvy went to eat his leg. But Stu Commander just fired Idiot Balls from his maw and they began not doing anything 2 help.
DANM YOU!!!111 I said insanely. I shot Worf Effect and Badass Decay bulletys at him and got out a Blade On A Stick made of OC Erasing Energy. I hit him on the armpit with it and he screamed. Then....I ate Madara, the Lich King, and Kirby and got their powers!
I used the Lich King's powers to resurect the fallen Space Marines and add them to my army. I also developed a new Mangekyo Sharingan that works only on Marty Stus. I didn't find a use for Kirby's power just yet. I then gloated at Stu Commoner ans said: "Now for the finsh!!!!!111111"
edited 2nd Jan '11 6:17:03 AM by BadficFetish
The Beta Male
(OOC: ![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
Hi.)
I raised my hand 2 finnish him when sudanly......SHUNK! A blade came flying out of nowear and interupted my coop d grah onm the Stu Commander!
"What! Whose repsonsible fro this!"
"I believe the credit (finally) goes to me," sad a voise.
I turnd around and it wsa
.....
ARTHUR!
Kwikly i grabed the Stu Commander so he codent run off then i gav him to ebony to wach bcuz Crookshanks had lached on 2 Uriels faec and was eating it and it ws totally awesome u should hav scene it. . "NOO FUCK U ARTHER! Y r u always ruin evry thing by being a doosh.!"
He began to circke me. "You had to ask? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you being what you are.... You're a Stu of the worst kind, Aoshiro. Even these people" — he gestured to the captive Stu Commander — "recognize that. And if you conquered Marysuetopia, there's no telling what you'd do. But I suppose the real reason I'm here...." he smirked at me, and then i cod not think of anything to say!1 "It's because you're a total asshole. And I want you gone."
Behind me the battle was Going unsertan and i was not sur who wood iwn. Indigvo wa sshotting spell's as fast she could but calgr wsa still fiting bak feercly.
I lafed at him and played with a ball odf OC erasing enerhy b/c he was being stupod. "I'm a God Mode Stu. What can u possibly expect 2 do too me?"
He raised an eyeborw, still circling. "You keep underestimating me. That always did piss me off to no end. What could I do to you? Plenty. True, I don't have a sword that can shoot magic spells, or wings, or even dating expertise. What I have is better. I'm a fucking writer, Aoshiro. I create worlds like your own from scraps of others' for fun. My ideas are what makes people like you who they are, and bad ideas are what creates scenarios like this. I shape things into being with nothing but words, and dismiss them just as easily. I don't know whose story this is, but they knows this as well as I. I'm a fanfic author," he said, grinning ear 2 ear now, "and I've got a review to leave."
edited 16th Jan '11 4:04:03 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Dreaming out loud.
But suddnyl th Stu Commanda freed heself. He then use Stu Power to kill crookshanks, enoby, sai (I hate sai), ebony, tara, and Stephen Fry, bcuz he hats Stephn Fry. Than he tyes me up.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!", I shoted. "I've got one thing to tell you", said the Stu Cummin. "I'm not just a tater", he sed, "An I dunt just were womens underwear" "Damn I knew it", I sed . "BUT IM ALSO CANADIAN!!!!!!" "YOO TATER!! I THRUSTED YOU!!!!", I scremed. "Mwuahahahahah", sed da Stu Commando. Then he play hockey, drink maple syrup, sing Oh Canada, and have sex with moose.
But sudnly I feel a ticklish senzashun on da back of my back! What dose dat might be!!!????
(Note to Canadian tropers: I'm just joking. Seriously. Please do not take offense, I don't mean any of it.)
edited 2nd Jan '11 6:30:19 PM by betterthanstrawberry
Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.
((OOC: Sorry about this.))
It was Arthur, who had snapped out of the illusion I launched at him and was now holding a blade made of OC Erasing Enegry against my back! He said:
"So, that's what your Marty Stu-only Sharingan does?" said Arthur. "Well, it can't be helped. Getting everything on a silver platter was fun. Nevertheless, there are some things you just don't do!" He then made to stab me but I teleporeted out of harm's way! I then faced him and countered with Sectumsempra, which he blocked with an Authorial Shield.
I made music from ROD The TV come out as Arthur launched flames from kirkvspicard.net out of his hands, which I countered with flames from mikevsjoel.com. But when the flames faded, Arthur was gone! Stu Commander then attacked.
He now had four Chainswords with Elementar auras. He was faster and stronger than before and I had to dodge fast. He alsmost scored several cuts and I had to teleport away. But Arthur was there! And he had a Trope Gun!
"I had to Soulforge part of my own soul to get this, but I consider it a fair trade for what this will be able to do to you." The Badfic Author then shot out Worf Effect and Badass Decay bullets at me! I shot a bullet marked Deadly Dodging at myself and the bullets hit Stu Commander instead. I luaghed.
Arthur then got out several giant pencils and this time, I wasn't able to dodge them when he threw thm at me like javelins. I pulled them out badassedly but Stu Commander stabbed me in the foot with a Chainsword! I healed myself and teleported again. But Arthur was waiting for me with a dagger mad of OC Erasing Energy and stabbed me.
"Amazing," I said. "But not good enough. Expelliarmus Bankai!" A great dragon made up of the spell flew up and removed Arthur and Stu Commander's weapons! Now the tide has turned!
The Beta Male
Then the dragon shotted a GIAN FIREBALL at the Stu Commander and Arthur but the Stu Commander grabbed the mosoe from earlier and therw it a the fire, and it killed moose but not them!!! Then the author shot 2 When All You Have Is a Hammer… ideas at teh hockeysticks and they had actual blade's at the end liek sythes! The author grabed 1 and began 2 atak me with it!1
"FUK U ARTHUR, STOP BEING RESORSEFULL 1" I yelld badassly
i then through Eboby's corpse at him and bcuz she was still on fire! Arthur blocked it with a hockeystik and cut it in ahlf. Then he charge tord me and we loked blade's!
Then the stu commander decapitated the Dragon! "OH SHIT" I sed! Then the dragon starte d spewing vitrolic comments from the hole in its neck, gettung acid evrywhere!!1 we al doged the acid and kept fiting
Then suddenly, expolsion!
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
"Wait a second, isn't the Dragon supposed to be made solely of whatever spell Aoshiro chants?" Said Stu Commander.
"Plot Hole!" said Arthur. "Remember, he has Author powers as well. Also, isn't this hockey stick supposed to be an illusion?"
"ERASE BEAM!!!" I shouted and a green-white beam came down from the air and hit Stu Commander bringing him to low health. In response, Arthur made the Hocky stiks wirh blades rise up and move toward me. I cut the shafts apart with my Zanpaktou but the blades kept moving and cut through my shoulders.
Ahh!" I screamed before healing myself. I got out my Trope Gun and shot out a bullet marked Beam Spam. Arthur blocked the lasers but I had already teleported behind him! I stabbed him with a blade of OC Erasing Energy. Not even his Immortality (mentioned on the first page of the story) saved him and he died sadly except not as I'm happy.
Stu Commander died too. Quickly I grasped Arthur's Psyche and ate it. As I did so, I began glowing and a vast column of light appeared around me. At last, the ancient place where the power of Charlot's Twin was stored was breached! I reached out with a flicker of will and absorbed the energy.
My aura grew and became green-white. My Zanpaktou grew and changed becoming a combination of a katana and the X-blade from Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep My Trope Gun turned into a Jade Trope Gun which was stronger than a normal Trope Gun. I now constantly blazed with power like a Super Saiyan only grren-whit. I laughed diabollically.
I ressurected Ebony and she went back to figthing Ventris. She had tried to use Muraki's Trope Gun (which she had) but the Space Marn was so Badass that he shot away the arm that held it. But now she had extra confidence and attacked again! Indigo had already won. She summoned a creature from a Golden Key who distracted Calgar before she impaled him with a magic weapon.
Aryll, Samantha, and Hei were winning their battles as well. Everything looked almost won but.......the Fairy Tail third opening song began sounding!
Cloud and his entire party were here, along with Aeris and Zack! And they had killed Sepiroth! Now I have to face them alone. What wil hapen nex?
((OOC: That was long!))
edited 3rd Jan '11 9:12:05 AM by BadficFetish
I gathered my powers and said: "Aoshiro's Ultima Retcon!" A green glow emanted out of my body and enjulfed all of Ultramar. When it faded, the buildings and the planet were repaired, and all the people who died in the battle came back to life. However, posters of my face were all over the towers, and the Ultramarines were bowing down to me in worship, along with all their sucessor chapters!
"That's merely a taste of the powers I have as the ultimate author!" I said to Claude. "Will you still fight me, knowing what you face?"
"Yes." Then he used an Omnislash at me, which I blocked with my hand! I summoned my party to me, as well as Calgar, Vertis, Sicarious, and Telion who were now on my side. Gla Dos was also there along with the Wizards of the Black Circle (remember them?). Now they were outnumbered!
Edit:
But that was not enough. To make sure that they were outmatched, I summoned one last addition to my side.........Chicabo!
edited 5th Jan '11 10:33:22 AM by BadficFetish
The Beta Male
(OOC: Eww.... Also, I have yet to beat FF7, so some details may be inaccurate, but then again, why should that be any different than usual? I have no clue who Zack is, though, so this should be fun. )
POOF! Chicabo apeared naked riding a chocobo andEbony and Indigo ran waay screaming because thye dint wanted to be raped by chocobos or milked but then i told them she was okay and they cam back.
The an army of chocobo's apperd behind her an began to chase ppl and gore them with calews! Then she begin to kill people with her Thung! and then she got thristy so she grabed her bobs and drank her own milk!and then i sed ew and kept fiting!1
Ebony grabbd a dalek and then throw it at a tank and it expolded! And then the legions of stus summoned their ageold ally's, the Wolves! The wolvs began to swarm evrywear and quickly desamated the ninja cyborg trexs! Oh noes! Barret began to shot Telion with his gunhand!
Then indigo faced off agenst Tfa! She shout at Tifa, "u will nevar defeat me!!111" indigo kept trying to engage her in proper wonam combat, with tearing at clothes in the mud but all Tifa wanted to do was punch her and shot ice spels at her! What a bich!
Bcuz Cliud was a main char he was able to hold his own agenst the Wizards of teh Balk circle that i had resorectid from a plot hole, but he was begining to weken fast! He was shot litening atthem but they just bloked it and he continud to slash at teh wizards like a syko
Aries was pissed at Chicabo bcuz of how she vewed womanz even tho she had made them even moar sexxy by paring them w/ ech other. Aries shot lots of spels and then stabbd her chocobo in the he'd with a staff! "NOOOOO U KILLED MY FUCKTOY!" She yell, and the she begins to fite ares on foot.
GLaDOS and Hei we're busy fitind Cid and cid was lossing bcuz his staff was not a matching for DEADLY NUROTOKSIN! But the Hei started to choke so he had to sid on teh sidelines and recober like the pussy he id
Then aryll begans to firgt. Vincent, but vincent did in the fist 5 minuets bcuz he slit his rists and is a fukkijg emo aryll then maek him into a quik snack. Then aryll maed out with vertis and then they began to fite Zacj who was shotting lazors out of his ass and also had a machine gun and an uzi and another mashine gin bcuz he was in SOLDIER, which os the mortal ememy of Shadoe the Hedhoh or something
Sam had to start fiting Red XIII after and then they began to shot spells and also Sam tried to stab him!
I and enoby then fout agenst Arthuer, who was also afred of Chicabo and kept muttering sumthing about bioligy. He shotted me with lazors but eboby bloked his spells and I cam in to counteratak!
Everywear there was fiting and expolsions, and the tide was turnng to our side!
(OOC: I think this is the longest bit I've written so far. Things are getting complicated, aren't they?)
edited 6th Jan '11 1:59:54 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
"How did u com back to lif???!!!111" I said to Arthur.
"Actually, I just hijacked your Stu-only Mangekyo Sharingan and created an illusion that only you and Ebony could see. Oh, look! You accidentally hit Aryll with one of your spells."
"Damn you! I'm going to do something about this!1" I then shot a Trope Bullet into myself marked Battle in the Center of the Mind!
A second later, I was at a place like Ventus's final battle against Vanitas in Kingdom Herats Birth by Sleep, only black and red. The real Arthur was there too!
"It appears that I have one last card left to play, asshole." Arthur's Trope Gun appeared, and he shot out a bullet marked: Infinity +1 Sword. A magical glowing swod apprd in midair and he caught it with his hand.
"Weapons created with Trope Bullets are only temporary! You will lose before long!" I said. Then I charged in with my Zanpaktou and the battle began!
Hello there dis is Indigo Yagmi narrating. Anyway, I was still figthing Tifa, this time with my whip! I was also flaming her with dragon powers but I had to be careful as I could accidentally roast the Chocobos and Ultramanies who were on our side thanks to Aoshiro's Retcon. Calfar was also helping me. Then Chicabo tapped my shoulder and said:
"I already defeted Aeris. Can yo let me have a go at Tifa?" She fluttered her eyelids sexily.
"Ok!" I said and fought Red XII instead. I transforemd into armour made from fur and with claws and circled him seductively. I purred.
"That doesn't work on me." Then he used Fire!
"Ahh!" I screamed seductively. I then got out a bottle of Pheromones and soaked them on myself. I then began writhing around in pain although I wasn't burned that much.
Red drew closer and sniffed the Pheromones. I began making more seductive noises. A Chocobo brought me another bottle of Pheromones in his beak and soaked them all over me. That did it.
He jumped all over me and began doing it with me (I no what Aryll said about not mixing Saix and Bludshed but she got accidentally hit by a spell frum Eboby and Aoshiro was busy figthing in his mindscape so he cannot agree with her!). Chicabo was doing it with Tifa and the Chocobos began joining in 2. Teh others were still figthing.
Then suddenly......Cait Sith punched Gla Dos!
edited 9th Jan '11 2:03:38 AM by BadficFetish
(OOC: Feh, why not?)
AN: A kwik wunshot:
Their waz a seckxxah vampir namd Aryll and 1 day she waz sexxcksing with her BF Alucard wen teh fone ranged. She answerd it and it sed ,"u must sav teh erht from aleins! " so she grabbed a gun and aet Alucard bcuz she was a vampir and then went to teh woods.
Theyre an alein named SLENDERMAN ataked her! eh treid to tentacle raep but she escaped! she killd him nad then ate him too! Ever1 sed YAY ARYLL U SAVD US!!"
then her long lots sister indigo apperd and sed I lov u some liv with me bcuz u r my sister.! Than she sed "ok" and they groped ech others bobs in. A sisterly way.
THE END!
AN: and now 4 teh story.
Befor going out to Recrut mor ppl, Indigo had Sexx In the ruins of teh fite. Arthur rolled his eyes But he didnt tel me too get a room anymor cuz eh new id kik his ass. Enoby joind in 2
Then we al wen out
Fitrs we wen to voldemort bucz he was evil but he told us 2 fuk off bcuz in canon he waz a badass and he waznt going to change that. then he Throwed us out of his apartmant.
Next we Went Too C Light YagMi but he sed no bcuz he he'd " I AM NOT EVIL I SHUD KIL U FOR SAYING THAT!" However, We got Ryuk 2 join bucz we said we had lots of Lulz.
Then we got da dalkeds 2 join bcuz thay wood get 2 exterminaet thingz.
Finallyl we went 2 C Sephiroth! Eh sed
"What is in it 4 me? "
I smild and then sed "We can find sum1 4 u to sexx at and alos we wil free u mom"
He sed "Okay"
Alos, we went and take over teh armoriez frum Master Chief so we had ltos of weponz!
tehan Indigo stabed Halo in teh ballz bcuz thats kinfd of her thing.
edited 21st Dec '10 9:04:46 AM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist