Make up a character right this very second

Nathaniel "Nate" Roberts Kaczinsky: Merchant Ship Captain extraordinaire known for always pulling his vessel in ahead of schedule even when he's driving drunk! Frequently has a habit of getting into arguments with himself (and losing) and at the same time ends every voyage with beer and excessive amounts of illegal fireworks for his crew. A reputation precedes him as being the most fun Captain to work under but at the same time when push comes to shove he demands the best from his crew when shit really matters.

Additionally he carries an old-time marine compass that doesn't point north, instead it always points to an uncharted island in the South Pacific laced with a massive deposit of magnetite iron and rumored to carry buried Pirate Gold. How he got to the island and acquired the compass, he never tells the same story twice.

Nathan Robertson was once a talented surgeon, until a car crash cost him his right arm and very nearly his will to live. In a world where things that were once imaginary are slowly becoming real, he's solidly aligned with the bad guys—they found him in the wreckage and offered him a new arm, and though its lack of flesh is a bit of a disadvantage, in their service he has found it to have various uses. But one night, when he's sent on a standard intimidation job, he once again meets a woman he knew before the accident, and he begins to reconsider his position.

Edit: ^ Er, just noticed the similarity of names. Would it help if I admitted I didn't read your post until now?

edited 5th Oct '10 6:21:08 PM by FeoTakahari

Talon "Breaker" Person- An industrial DJ, with two snake bite piercings in his lower lip, He shaves and waxes is head and wear large sci-fi sunglasses. He plays upper city clubs but lives in an old bomb shelter turned apartment complex, outside of town. He is 29, and lives alone aside from his cat Dave. He networks for the sake of his job and loves to make music but is really Anti-social and only DJ's big name clubs because he loves to see people dancing and having a good time. He shops for himself and his cat and lives a most vegan diet, for no reason other than he really likes veggies and fruits. His cat is feed spam.

Angelus. Black hair, blue-green eyes. Badass Longcoat. Smart, but clueless in social situations. Has an unfortunate liking for Lolicon. Bound by contract to serve a death god for a hundred years to atone for murdering his entire family.

edited 5th Oct '10 9:05:12 PM by snowfoxofdeath

One more try. An invisible-man type experiment goes horribly right and leaves one of the project developers...well, invisible. Not quite invisible, but unperceivable. She's there, but radiates a frequency or a chemical that makes people not see or hear or notice her at all. Naturally, her fellow scientists loose track of her. She spends some months like this, eventually adopting a strange, god-like complex, doling out whatever she decides at the moment to be justice and spiraling into moral depravity, all the while keeping careful scientific records of the process. Eventually the process becomes reversible but she has become somewhat attatched to her unobserved lifestyle and... god damnit. This is just a silmotenious ripoff of the invisible man and Jeckle and Hyde.

But that looses a hand in a car crash one totally shamed me into trying again, I mean damn that was fantastic.

A superhero called "the arsonist". Can burn down to ash and reconfigure wherever there is fire, but only where there is fire, and has no other control over flame whatsoever. It's basically a crappy teleportation power, discovered in the classic baby-from-a-burning-building setting and deconstructed as she realizes the utter uselessness of her power.

A magical real setting with physical souls and a chimera twin—you know, like when one twin is absorbed. They switch off every other day, one brain, body, and memories for the two souls, so one soul can remember making a desicion and the reason behind it, they can no longer feel the emotion that drove it. The tip off is having two different crushes switching off like clockwork, and the two set off to figure out wth to do about it.

edited 5th Oct '10 9:35:09 PM by DaeBrayk

Ani Donovan is a jaded fourteen-year-old girl whose socialite parents send her to boarding school called Nourrit Hall once they decide that she cannot take the private school system any longer. Once in the school, Ani discovers that those in Nouritt Hall are participants of a (somewhat underground) school-wide food fight that has lasted for twenty years. With encouragement from a sharpshooting new friend, Ani takes on the persona of Silverspoon and becomes a member of a team in the so-called "Battle of Bites."

edited 18th Dec '10 1:46:28 PM by Coujagkin

Deus Turtle. Eight armed, three ton, flying turtle. Thinks he's better'n the other turtles.

Lucy has striking blonde hair, and a thing for mid-thigh length leather jackets. Lucy is a sweet young woman (18 yrs) with jade eyes, who knows she's cute and is always smiling. She loves to tell children stories Lucy is Really 700 Years Old, and her eyes are significant.

Lucy has a split personality disorder that goes to the level of her soul.

Enter David. He had the same split soul, though his personalities were not quite so distinct, as the age difference had not had so long to set in—he's about 21 physically, and only 50 Reincarnation-count. He's solved the problem, though by both sides interacting as opposed to integrating.

David figures out what's going on with Lucy, and tries to explain it to ingenue!Lucy. She doesn't understand. He tries to explain it to reincarnation!Lucy. She already understands, having run into the explanation in one of her previous lives. As David and old!Lucy try to convince young!Lucy that this is really happening, young!Lucy develops a crush on old!David, who starts falling for old!Lucy, who is interested in young!David, who likes young!Lucy...

edited 18th Dec '10 9:41:40 PM by RedWren

Louanne called "Loopy", a Stripperiffic woman with large breats, distinct curves, tan with boy-short blonde hair. Enjoys creating pottery and old-fashioned sailor tattoos. Favorite color is cyan. Has to tone down on her personal style to get work after having an emergency mastectomy done, and meets a guy. Romance ensues.

edited 18th Dec '10 9:59:56 PM by Dec

Cryptid Hunter + Philosopher=Cryptilosopher, He hunts cryptids and sells them on E Bay, afterwards enjoys a cup of his favorite cherry flavored applesuace.

Cora "Rose Bloom" Snark is totally convinced she is a Mary Sue despite what people inform her. She adorns herself in over-dramatic Victorian dresses and frequently carries a lucky penny with her, which she believes channels her magical energy. However, she is actually living a fantasy world created from her own psychological repression. Slowly she drifts away from reality and can no longer discern between the real world and the one she has mentally birthed.

Her long time psychologist, who refers to himself as just "Dr. Bloom" (to accommodate her Mary Sue persona), begins to notice these rapid changes. Medication only depresses her and seems to not have any positive effects. Therefore, he decides to metaphorically plunge himself into her world in order to discover its origins and why it was created.

Blessed Franklin: His first name is Blessed. He grew up in an extremely devout Baptist family and finds no problem with it. At the time of the (would be) story, he is around 17, brownish-reddish hair and pale skin that would burn easily in the sun. He is naive, but rational as well, and is quite good at Mathematics.

The plot: His parents get captured by some old members of the cult they belonged to before they converted to Baptist, and the entire reason they named him Blessed was to make it like they were devout Christians (though they already are, they Flanderize their own image) and hid away in a small town hoping they wouldn't be found. He can't do anything about it except wait, as the social workers take him away, for he has no surviving family. He starts getting premonitions that help reveal the location of his parents, and he realizes that he and his parents are psychic, and there was no better way to hide it than under the guise of God's miracles. He has to direct the policemen to the cult, but they're always one step ahead. Then it turns out his parents had escaped from torture, just barely, without his help but the cult was now coming to get all 3 of them.

Yeah, I kind of got into it.

Destor McRibbins. He's an ex martial arts expert turned fast-food frycook who makes the best fries in the state. He was banned from doing martial arts by the Grand High Council of Board-Choppers when he became powerful to kick a man into four equal-sized pieces and did so to Shi Wu, who held the strategic knowledge necessary to stop the upcoming Nordic invasion of all of time. However, it turns out this portly fast-food customer is He Shu, who holds the key to the secret vault where Shi Wu hid the map to where the knowledge is held. He'll only fork it over if Destor whips him into shape, and so to save the world he must become a martial artist once more.

Oh, and to avert Mighty Whitey Destor is...Korean. Yes.

...wait, what?

edited 28th Dec '10 9:14:07 AM by Wackd

Areon is a Pterodactyl living in the late Jurassic period. He is a mulder who believes that something is happening below the clouds. All of the other Pterodactyls think he's too paranoid, and Areon thinks they're too simple-minded.

The plot is that he's starting to wonder why they (his species) must be separated from the land, making him the laughing stock of the Ptero empire. One day he decides to fly down below the clouds into the "grounded area", where he quickly finds out that something is wrong. The continent is splitting and drifting off, causing changes in the weather (read: seasons).

After consulting with the Ptero empire, they decide to move to higher ground in case the worst happens. Areon decides to leave the tribe to save the world from a biological extinction.

His tribe goes after him, saying that the "bounds of nature can't be broken!". The rest of the plot is him and another anti-mutinee as they get the bottom of the incoming doom that will affect every creature on Earth.

edited 28th Dec '10 1:54:48 PM by Collen

Frederick is a young albino boy who was kidnapped from his parents when he was very young by a terrorist organization bent on using the superpowers of kidnapped super children to overthrow the government.

Frederick has the power to warp reality to his will. Unfortunately, he is unaware of this, as for years, his "teachers" told him that he can only make advanced weapons out of thin air.

He is very tall and thin, with long white hair, which gives him the appearance of a young woman.

Because of his extremely strict and ruthless upbringing, he shows almost no emotion in public, but once in private, he is actually sweet and gentle natured.

He honestly thinks what he is doing is for the good of the world, and would be shocked if told otherwise.

Let's see.

Lar (singular of Lares) is a cook, the greatest cook of Earth, as a matter of fact. He is also a huge Brain in a Jar, specially grown for that purpose and supplemented with various cybernetic doodads, and he is entirely happy with that.

Through the insanely convoluted network which replaced the old-time Internet, he manages the kitchens of nearly all the 20 billions of households in the planet (and under the planet, and on low orbit), adapting his style to the likes and dislikes of all the inhabitants, most (but not all) of whom are heavily modified humans.

The story starts as a culinary theory-heavy Slice of Life describing his interactions with about five wildly different posthuman households. Lar then starts Walking the Earth on a vaguely fairy-like body (originally a robotic doll that an old lady, one of the few people still alive who were born in the 22th century, loaned him) while of course keeping up his duties on the meantime. Eventually, he gets some more bodies too, and their stories are also narrated in parallel (with more cuisine-based chapters thrown in, of course).

Essentially the story is a transhumanist, Rousseau Was Right, food-centric Slice of Life, perhaps with some thematic elements taken from Roman mythology (but I'd need to read up on that).

edited 29th Dec '10 8:50:27 AM by Carciofus

Clarissa Johnson lives in a house with her mother, in Zion Canyon. 2/3 of the world's population suddenly disappeared 30 years previous. Clarissa, Not giving a shit about this, ends up as the Token disabled (Note: She has a prosthetic left leg) in a group of other preteens who don't really care about how she feels. What with her personality and all, Several things come out of this.

....yeah, I don't know either. Stupid brain.

edited 29th Dec '10 11:52:44 AM by fruitpork