Series / HEX

From left to right: Thelma, Ella, Azazeal and Cassie

2004-6 supernatural drama series. Originally marketed as The British Buffy, which was true in much the same way that Coupling was the British Friends (which, again, was part of the early hype), Hex was one of Sky's earliest original drama series. It told the story of a blonde schoolgirl named Cassie Hughes (plaeyd by Christina Cole) who gets supernatural powers with which to fight demons, but has her style cramped by her falling in love with the leader of the aforesaid demons, Azazeal (Michael Fassbender), discovering that her destiny is to give birth to his child, the Anti-Christ.

Following the departure of Cassie's actor, the series was retooled into a show about a kickass red-headed immortal schoolgirl named Ella Dee (Laura Pyper) who has supernatural powers with which she fights demons. Unfortunately she was blind-sided by the Anti-Christ (Cassie's sprog Malachi)'s evil plans, the demons won, and the show's second (and final) season ended with the cast divided into the evil, the very dead, and the fleeing in terror.

In both seasons, Thelma Bates the ghost (Jemima Rooper) was the heroine's sidekick and speaker of memorable quips.

Don't confuse this with the 80's horror flick, HEX.

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This show provides examples of:

• Action Girl: Ella Dee (when she wasn't crazy), complete with Badass Longcoat.
• Adults Are Useless: The asylum staff in particular. Plus a whole bunch of murders go completely unnoticed.
• All Girls Want Bad Boys: Azazeal has a number of female characters vying after him. Cassie, Jo, Perie, Rachel MacBain and even Cassie's mother Lilith seem to either have a thing for him or have had a thing for him.
  • Ella becomes attracted to Malachi, despite the fact she's supposed to be focused on killing him.
• Alpha Bitch: Roxanne, before her character development in late Series 2.
  • It turns out to be Alex's innermost desire. When she becomes the new Alpha Bitch, she turns into a succubus.
• The Antichrist: Malachi.
• Antiquated Linguistics: Thelma drops hilariously in and out of these as part of her attempt to convince Roxanne that she’s a messenger from God (the other parts being an angel costume and a harp that she has no idea how to play). It actually works.
• Artifact of Doom: The stone of Belial
• Bad Habits: Father Jez Herriot, the new religious education teacher, is actually Ramael the Deceiver.
• Be Careful What You Wish For: If Malachi grants it for you, you become his succubus or incubus.
• Beta Bitch: Gemma in Series 1, Alex in Series 2.
• Betty and Veronica: Cassie has Lovable Jock Troy as the Betty and fallen angel Azazeal as the Veronica.
  • Ella has the rather dopey but well meaning Leon (Betty) and tempting, charismatic Manipulative Bastard Malachi (Veronica)
• Big Eater: Thelma gleefully abuses the fact that ghosts cannot gain weight.
• Black Comedy Rape: Thelma can affect Cassie's dreams, and does so without her permission. Cassie wakes up furious and states that she's told her not to do that, and Thelma clearly finds the whole thing funny, saying that she didn't seem to mind at the time. She does it to Roxanne, too.
  "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is being a lesbian ghost?"
• Bond One-Liner: Ella, once or twice.
• Brainwashed and Crazy: People Azazeal has possessed, especially Cassie in "Possession", and later people Malachi has turned into succubi and incubi, especially Leon in "Seven Deadly Sins".
• British Brevity: The first season was only 6 episodes. The second branched out to 13.
  • Divided for Publication: The first season was originally written as a Mini Series with three feature-length episodes, but each of the original episodes was split into two for broadcast.
• Bumbling Sidekick: Leon develops a complex about Ella seeing him as this.
• Bury Your Gays: Parodied when Thelma first manifests as a ghost at her funeral. Taken to extremes by Maya. All of the characters who end up as ghosts in the show are gay.
  Thelma: They're bloody loving this. Don't be a dyke or you'll end up topping yourself.
• Butt-Monkey: Leon at times. He has to cope with dressing up as a nurse to bust Ella out of the asylum, and getting whipped by a BDSM fairy godmother.
• Cannot Spit It Out: Several times.
• Character Development: Leon and Roxanne both mature from having been shallow jerks.
  • Azazeal becomes less Manipulative Bastard and more Papa Wolf in the second season. However, because he wants Malachi to choose his own destiny, the forces of Hell put him on a bus and send Mephistopheles to make sure the apocalypse goes as planned.
• The Chessmaster: Malachi has this written all over him. As do Azazeal and Mephistopheles at some points.
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Peggy (Thelma's ghostly girlfriend from 1918) is dropped without explanation after the end of the first season. Raphael vanishes completely after he sexually assaults Ella and she humiliatingly repels him.
• Circles of Hell: The traditional nine, apparently.
  Mephistopheles: "Well, if you'd been on a permanent loop through the nine circles of hell, you wouldn't look too hot either."
• Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Ella, in the scariest possible way, while she was being mind raped and shot full of liquid Anti-Magic.
  "She's my fairy godmother! She's got something nice for me!"
• Cold-Blooded Torture: Azazeal, Ramiel and Perie inflict this on Max.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: Raphael gives Ella boils for fancying the guy she’s supposed to be killing. Mephistopheles makes Malachi go blind, but this turns out to be a cunning plan to get him to sleep with her anyway despite her disfigurement.
• Dating Catwoman: Cassie and Azazeal, and later Ella and Malachi.
• Deadpan Snarker: Cassie, usually bouncing off poor Thelma. Also Mephistopheles (played by the fantastically deadpan Ronan Vibert).
• Decoy Protagonist: Cassie. Although this was more a case of Real Life Writes the Plot.
• Defrosting Ice Queen: Ella's character arc.
• Deliberately Painful Clothing: Raphael briefly persuades Ella to wear a cilice to punish her for her sexual attraction to Malachi.
  ‘’’Thelma:’’’ “We have vibrators for that sort of thing, girl!”
• Description Cut: When Cassie has gone to try to get the child Malachi from Azazeal:
  Ella: She'll resist temptation.
  [[Cut to Cassie shagging Azazeal]]
• Devil in Plain Sight: The demons are fond of this...and with no small sense of irony either, taking on pious disguises such as priests and witchhunters.
• Dissonant Serenity: Perie is so good at this that it comes all the way round and becomes something akin to a Death Glare.
• Dogged Nice Guy: Felix. He gets gutted by Baraquel for his trouble.
• Double Standard: Rape, Female on Female/Double Standard: Rape, Sci-Fi: Thelma imposes a dream of making out with her on Cassie, and is implied to have gone much farther with Roxanne. This is played entirely for laughs.
• The Dragon: Ramiel, aka Jez
• Driven to Suicide: Subverted: Ella makes it look like Jez was driven to suicide after she kills him.
• Elaborate University High: Medenham Hall is supposedly a school, but has an elaborate campus, pupils who all seem to be in their late teens, and a complete lack of supervision outside classes, which makes it seem more like a university.
• Emotions vs. Stoicism: A major theme of the series.
• Face Death with Dignity: Roxanne when she's dragged to the canteen to be sacrificed. Although she's clearly terrified, she remains defiant, outright stating she knows where she is going and reciting prayers as she's forced to the floor and stabbed.
• Face–Heel Turn: Quite a few...
  • Malachi (who despite being the Antichrist, starts off as more Chaotic Neutral) does this after he gets a taste of the power that mind-controlling people brings.
  • Jo and Cassie both succumb to their love for Azazeal, the former turning evil and the latter sacrificing herself to protect Malachi.
  • Basically one of the major themes of this show is that Love Makes You Crazy. And sometimes evil too.
• Failed a Spot Check: Jez decides to give Leon extra kendo lessons in the hopes of being able to beat and torture him into revealing Ella's whereabouts. He doesn't realise it's Ella and not Leon he's facing off against until he's had a pretty good beating, despite the significant height difference between the two.
• The Fair Folk: Perie the Faerie is... disturbing as well as evil.
• Fallen Angel: The Nephilim, complete with ugly stubs where their wings used to be.
• Fallen Princess: Ella is Type 1, Roxanne is Type 2.

• Fetus Terrible: The end of the first season is based around the rush to stop The Antichrist from being born.
• Foreshadowing: Malachi and Mephistopheles play chess while discussing how to turn students into incubi and succubi. Mephistopheles plays white, Malachi plays black. Mephistopheles undergoes a Heel–Face Turn and fights for free will. Malachi ends up Drunk on the Dark Side and gleefully goes about setting off the apocalypse.
• Forgotten Phlebotinum: Why does Azazeal never try to use the Stone of Belial to attack Ella again after the end of the mental hospital arc?
• Freak Out: Leon, quite understandably, when he suddenly becomes able to see dead people.
  ‘’’Leon:’’’ “STOP HAUNTING ME!”
• Friendly Enemy: Azazeal towards Ella, but only to a point.
• Geometric Magic: Ella creates a protective hexagram for Cassie. Thelma refers to it as a “cosmic condom”.
• Gilligan Cut: After David Tyrel discusses Roxanne's affair with Jez, he comforts her by stating this will be the last time she hears about it. Cut to all her friends laughing over the sex tape that exposed them in the first place.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: Practically all the male teens constantly make jokes about wanting to see the female characters doing it.
• Glowing Eyes of Doom: Played with in the first season, where firelight causes demon eyes to appear bloodshot (as Thelma puts it, “manky eyed”). Played straight in the second season with Malachi and his succubi.
• Good is Not Nice: Archangel Raphael. As Leon comments, “he’s a lot darker in real life”.
• Good Girls Avoid Abortion: Averted. Cassie is determined to terminate her pregnancy, because she knows she'd be bearing a Fetus Terrible.
• Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: Virtually all of the demons smoke. Cassie smokes when she's under a demonic influence.
• Gratuitous Rape: Raphael trying to rape Ella comes completely out of nowhere and is seemingly intended solely as a way to conclusively villainise him in her and the viewer's mind.
• Great Big Book of Everything: The Revelations of Orokiah, which Ella frequently refers to.
• Groin Attack:
  • Ella crushes Raphael's balls when he tries to sexually assault her.
  • Thelma shocks Leon out of Malachi's control by castrating him in a dream, his worst fear.
• Heel–Face Turn: Mephistopheles after coming to admire Leon (presumably because of his undying devotion to Ella).
• The Hero Dies: Original protagonist Cassie is killed off two episodes into the second season.
• He's Back!: Ella in "You Lose", and she even namedrops it ("Didn't they tell you? I'm back!")
  • Immediately subverted when Sariel floors her, leading to Badass in Distress, but this serves to highlight the fact that she does need Leon after all.
• Hollywood Voodoo: Averted. There's a chicken sacrifice in the opening minutes, but later exposition makes it clear that real voodoo is a benevolent religion and the demonic events were down to white dabblers playing around with voodoo techniques without understanding what they were doing.
• Hulking Out: Ramiel snaps back to his daemonic form a couple of times, usually when something has pissed him off.
• Idiot Ball: All the heroes, passing it back and forth, but especially Cassie and Leon.
  • "Deeper Into Darkness" is a particularly bad offender. Thelma tries to tell Cassie that Troy is possessed and Cassie... accuses her of being jealous.
• I Just Want to Be Normal: Ella's innermost desire. Malachi accidently grants it after having sex with her, resulting in Ella losing her powers and her ability to see into the spirit world.
• Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Ella shoots Perie full of hypodermic needles. Which is suitably ironic, seeing as how Perie had been posing as a nurse and injecting Ella with massive doses of St John's Wort.
• Incompatible Orientation: Thelma is in love with Cassie, but Cassie is either deeply closeted or mostly straight.
• Informed Flaw: Thelma is said to be incapable of touching living things (though not inanimate objects, so she can eat and call a help line) and thus incapable of snuggling with Cassie, but is never shown trying to do so.
• In the Blood: Cassie is descended from Rachel McBain, who first made the house a demon magnet by ignorant experimentation with voodoo.
• Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Inverted with Raphael, who is ostensibly there to help the heroes but achieves precisely nothing (beyond a bit of snark) before pulling an inexplicable Attempted Rape on Ella and disappearing.
• Jacob Marley Apparel: Thelma spends the first season trapped in the party dress she died in, but later discovers that she can wear other clothes if she takes them from corpses.
• Kill It with Fire: Die, scary fairy, die!
• Kryptonite Factor: Both demons and Anointed Ones lose their powers if exposed to St John’s Wort. This becomes a plot point of several episodes.

• Light Feminine Dark Feminine: Played with:
  • Cassie and Jo initially come across as the Light Feminine with the former being a somewhat shy, bookish virgin and the latter being a caring but lonely and sexually frustrated teacher. Their experience with Azazeal turns them both towards the Dark Feminine with Cassie becoming a sexy seductress while under Azazeal's control and Jo serving Malachi after Azazeal seduces her.
  • Roxanne and Gemma play the Dark Feminine for all it is worth but it turns out Gemma really does care about Troy as she leaves the school with him and Roxanne undergoes a moral awakening late in Series 2.
• Lightning Can Do Anything: It can bring Anointed Ones back from the dead. Thus Magical Defibrillator is weirdly justified even though ultimately it is Thelma armed with Ella's volta that saves the day.
  • It also cures possessed people (resulting in a rather amusing episode where Thelma tries repeatedly to electrocute Cassie)
• Limited Wardrobe: Thelma spends the entire first season, as a ghost, wearing the party dress she was killed in.
• Love Makes You Crazy: Arguably the central tenet of the show. Both heroines end up falling for their respective enemies, and love for Cassie, and later Maya causes Thelma to betray Ella and help out the bad guys several times.
• Love Makes You Evil: The Nephilim and the Faeries, who were originally angels and the human women who tempted them from heaven.
• Love Redeems: Mephistopheles of all people says this at the end: "I've traveled this cosmos long enough to know that there is only one thing worth fighting for, one thing that truly moves people, that makes them better than they are. And that is... Love".
• Magical Abortion: A double subversion: it's an actual abortion...and Cassie doesn't get it because Azazeal talks the doctor into safely removing Malachi instead.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Thelma and Maya having sex on a dining hall table during dinner, while oblivious students around are unable to see or hear them.
• Male Gaze: Throughout, Thelma's boobs get a lot more attention from the camera than the plot justifies.
• Manipulative Bastard: Azazeal (mostly in season 1) and Malachi. Mephistopheles too on occasion, though he refers to it as "a touch of reverse psychology".
• Mark of the Beast: Malachi's incubi and succubi all bear the same neck tattoo as he does.
• Meaningful Name: "I called him Malachi. It means messenger."
• Mephistopheles: Mephistopheles appears as one of the leading demonic characters in the second season. He appears to be one of the nicest of the demonic characters, seeing his role as giving humans genuine free will rather than fighting God.

• Mind Rape: Azazeal when he starts playing hardball. He did this offscreen to Cassie's mum causing her to become a Broken Bird, and onscreen to Jo, causing her to become evil. He also uses the Stone of Belial to inflict it on Ella.
• More than Mind Control: Malachi pulls this on the entire school.
• Ms. Fanservice: Perie the Fairy. Also Thelma, who spends most of the first season in a semi-transparent dress that shows off her cleavage.
• Mutilation Interrogation: Done by Azazeal, Perie and Jez on Max.
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Azazeal and most of the Nephilim (Baraquel, Araquiel, Sariel, Ramiel). On the good side, Ella Dee, daughter of John Dee.

• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Thelma insisting that Cassie wears her mother's necklace because she thinks it will protect her, when actually it serves to blind her to the fact that Troy is possessed.
• Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: In an attempt to psychologically torture Thelma, Azazeal sends her back in time, allowing her to rescue Ella from being burned alive.
• No Body Left Behind:
  • The Nephilim combust and disintegrate after death. Averted with Jez (possibly because he was in human form when he was killed), so Ella makes it appear he committed suicide to cover her tracks.
  • Cassie's body also dissolves after she dies, leaving only her clothes. This is because she was killed in a ritual designed to ensure the victim was 'dispatched into darkness, body and soul'. Indeed, because no body is found, the school staff report her missing and spend quite a while searching for her.
• No Immortal Inertia: Ella reverts (near-fatally) to her real, 500-plus, biological age after Perie poisons her.
• Noble Demon: Mephistopheles seems to see the war with God to be about giving humans free will rather than hurting them. As such he deliberately betrays Hell to save Leon.
• Noodle Incident: Ella’s previous boyfriend. Azazeal also alludes to previous encounters with her.
  Azazeal: "You remember that time in Egypt? You know I still can't stand the sight of sand."
• "Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization: Azazeal's attitude to sleeping with a possessed Cassie.
  • This backfires on him, since once she's no longer possessed, she wants nothing to do with him. The few times he tries to start something when she's herself again, she basically tells him to fuck off. He appears genuinely confused by this.
• Of Corsets Sexy: Ella.
• The Operators Must Be Crazy: Inverted when Thelma calls a helpline to unload her woes about possessed Cassie. She concludes (to the operator’s evident distress) that she has to electrocute her.
• Our Fairies Are Different: Perie and the (unseen) rest of her kind were the women who tempted the angels from Heaven.
• Parental Substitute: David Tyrell and Jo are this for Cassie with them both looking out for her wellbeing and happiness. Jo later becomes a substitute mother figure for Malachi. Although that makes their later interactions a little more disturbing.
• Peek-a-Boo Corpse: Twice. Neither is mentioned again, or subsequently found by anyone else.
• Perky Goth / Cute Ghost Girl: Thelma.
• Plot Hole: In the penultimate episode, Malachi and Jo are seen with what are implied to be Tom's dismembered body parts wrapped in bin liners, seemingly about to go and dispose of them secretly. In the final episode, which appears to be at most a couple of days later, Tom suddenly and mysteriously has a formally-marked grave, just so that another character can visit it and have an epiphany.
• Plot-Relevant Age-Up: Malachi's accelerated growth, from conception to viable infant in days and from infant to high school pupil in weeks.
• Police Are Useless: In general, but there are some really jaw-dropping specific examples:
  • The murders of the gynaecologist and the security guard at the school seem to go completely uninvestigated.
  • Ella severely beats Jez in a kendo battle before strangling him to death, then hangs his corpse up in a crude attempt to fake a suicide. The cops seem to buy this completely, despite the obvious injuries to the body, and the fact that hanging leaves very different marks to manual strangulation.
• Posthumous Character: Perie makes two significant appearances after her death, due to time travel to the past.
• Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: Ella has several.
  "This is one party you're going to wish you'd missed!"
• Primal Fear: Thelma can de-succubize someone by going into their dreams and invoking it. For Ella it was being burned alive, for Leon it was castration.
• Puppeteer Parasite: Azazeal makes use of one in Deeper Into Darkness.
• Put on a Bus to Hell: Tyrel is seemingly framed for fraud by Jo, and last seen being taken away by the cops.
• Rage Against the Heavens: The angels and demons are as bad as each other.
• A Real Man Is a Killer: Subverted with Leon killing Tom to "prove" himself to Ella, which he was tricked into by Malachi and which ended up putting him under Malachi's control.
• Really 700 Years Old: Ella.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: David Tyrel, the school headmaster.
• Redemption Equals Death: A particularly nasty example: Roxanne's moral awakening ends up making her a suitably pure human sacrifice for Malachi to ignite the Apocalypse with.
• Robbing the Dead: Thelma discovers in the second season that she can wear different clothes if she removes them from corpses (apparently, “live ones make me itch”).
• Rule of Drama: Occasionally supplemented by the Rule of Cool, Rule of Funny and Rule of Sexy.
• Sacrificial Lamb: Felix in the first episode of the second season. Introduced as Cassie's potential new love interest, then gets gutted by a demon.
• Satan: Azazeal is the closest thing we see, though season 2 implies that there are higher powers that even he is answerable to.
• Scars Are Forever: Ella has scars on her wrists, which she tends to hide with long sleeves or sweatbands. They are later revealed to be manacle burns from when Azazeal tried to have her executed as a witch. At one point, Ramiel tries to convince David that they are evidence of self-harming.
• Scary Flashlight Face: Azazeal briefly (and ironically) shines a torch up at his own face while pursuing the girls round the school.
• Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Subverted. Ella uses the Stone of Belial to travel back to when Malachi was an infant to kill him while he's helpless. Unfortunately Perie turns out to be the nurse on duty in the maternaity ward, and during the struggle, she stabs Ella with her own blade, forcing her to abandon the plan.
• Shock and Awe: The best way to get rid of Nephilim. Ella usually achieves this with a two-part staff called a volta.
• Shout-Out:
  • Leon quotes Catherine Tate's "am I bovvered" speech at one point.
  • Thelma comments "I have a cunning plan" when explaining to Leon about her plan to rescue Ella from the hospital. This is then repeated several times in the final couple of episodes.
  • Azazeal and Ramiel, rather creepily, discuss Reservoir Dogs while they torture Max.
  • Azazeal makes Troy possessed by shoving an insect into his ear in a blatant shout out to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
  • Ella's seventeenth-century attempted execution as a witch, with her tied to a ladder and lowered into a fire, makes visual reference to the film Witchfinder General.
• Slashed Throat: Ella's preferred method of dispatching non-demonic targets.
• Stable Time Loop: Azazeal unintentionally causes one when he sadistically sends Thelma back in time to witness Ella's trial and execution: Thelma interrupts the execution and scares the villagers away, ensuring that Ella survives into the twenty-first century.
• Stalker with a Crush: Azazeal. Not only does he sneak into Cassie's room to watch her sleep, when he overhears her talking to Thelma about how much she likes Troy, he gives the poor kid a Puppeteer Parasite.
• Star-Crossed Lovers: Ella and Malachi. It doesn’t last, as Malachi gets Drunk on the Dark Side and Ella does not appreciate being mind-controlled.
• Spirit Advisor
• Straight Gay: Tom. There's no strong indication until Thelma sees that his dream is Leon being in love with him.
• Supporting Protagonist: Thelma, arguably, as she goes from being Cassie's sidekick to being Ella's sidekick and thus is the most constant character.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Roxanne and her art teacher in season 1, Roxanne and Jez in season 2.
• The End of the World as We Know It
• The Bad Guy Wins: In both seasons.
• Thematic Theme Tune: "#1 Crush" by Garbage. Given that it's a downright creepy song about a Stalker with a Crush, it fits the show's premise quite well.
• Title, Please!: The series originally had episode titles that were used in listings but not on screen. The DVD issue of both seasons doesn't use the original titles, but simply gives episode numbers.
• Tomboy and Girly Girl: The two protagonists. Action Girl Ella is the tomboy while the more bookish and insecure Cassie is the Girly Girl.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Jo starts out as a nice, maternal teacher who looks out for her students' wellbeing. Once Azazeal gets to her, she becomes neglectful of her duties and then becomes the Dragon to Malachi.
  • Alex is quick to turn on Roxanne after Jez's death. And Malachi grants her wish to become the new Alpha Bitch while Roxanne becomes a Fallen Princesss.
• Trenchcoat Brigade: The archangel Raphael of all people is depicted in this manner, although he turns out to be nastier than that.
• Tyrant Takes the Helm: Pulled twice on Tyrel, first by Jez and then by Jo.
• Unlucky Everydude: Leon in season 2, though when given the chance he frequently has moments of Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass.
• The Vicar: Jez is initially a standard example of the "ineffectual trendy vicar" stereotype. Then he turns out to be the demon Ramael the Deceiver...
• Villainous Breakdown: Azazeal averts this, instead simply commenting in a dry tone, "I'd forgotten how much fun it is having Ella around..." Evil is indeed cool.
• Weimar Republic: Malachi takes Ella on a date, via time travel, to a stereotypical 1920s Berlin sex club.
• What Measure Is a Mook?: Ella has no problem with casually killing the students under Malachi's control, even though she knows that Thelma can cure them (under certain circumstances). She outright states at one point, “You have to stop thinking of them as people!”
• What the Hell, Hero?: Thelma and Raphael's actions towards the end of "You Lose" (respectively, Thelma saving Malachi because she's afraid to go to Heaven despite the fact that Maya would presumably go with her, and Raphael attempting to rape Ella for no reason at all) are pretty inexplicable.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Thelma repeatedly calls Ella out on this regarding her reluctance to do Malachi in.
• Wild Teen Party: In the first episode of season 2.
• You Can't Fight Fate: Zig-zagged. The characters constantly insist on their free will but the prophesied events constantly come to pass.

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Of course, you might be thinking of a different Hex...