Funny / The Simpsons Season 14

The Simpsons Funny Moments Index
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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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292 - "Treehouse of Horror XIII"

A - Send In The Clones:

• One of the clones is visiting Abe at the retirement home. What sells it is the undying interest the Homer clone keeps during Abraham's entire rambling, nodding every once in a while:
  Abe: Then after World War II, it got kinda quiet 'til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong! Or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between and ZZZ... (he falls asleep).
• Homer and one of his clones strangling each other.
• What all of the clones immediately do after becoming an unintelligent army (thanks to the magic hammock), EAT FIELD CORN:
  Gil Gunderson: Ah, look at that corn. Ol' Gil's hard work is finally paying off. (numerous Homer Simpson clones run by and devour all of his crops) Well, at least I got my health. (a few more come by and eat him, leaving only his skeleton) Ohh...
• The clones storming the Duff brewery, drinking all the beer in there, then the same giant mass of Homers running to behind the brewery to relieve themselves.
• Among the clones that are created by the hammock is the mu-mu-wearing obese Homer, Peter Griffin, and The Tracey Ullman Show version of Homer from the original shorts.

B - The Fright To Creep and Scare Harms

• After Snake turns in his guns and is mocked by Clancy Wiggum.
  Snake: (slaps Wiggum)
  Wiggum Ow!
• The guns being turned into a slide with Ralph sliding down it and the guns going off.
  Ralph: The bumps tickle my bottom.
• Billy introducing one of the members of the "Hole in the Ground Gang" is the most evil German of all time... Kaiser Wilhelm to which the people of Springfield get confused over, one of the other zombies says he's not a cowboy and Kaiser says he is going "yippee whipee" which convinces the other members to let him join.
• Billy's declaration of crime:
  Billy: Now let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor and shoot the money!
• While the family is being forced by the undead cowboys to play a song, Homer asks Marge to let him do a solo saying it could be his big break, Marge reminds him that they're horrible ghouls from the past to which Homer remarks "So are the Grammy judges"

C - The Island of Dr. Hibbert

• Professor Frink as a turkey and he then gets to be eaten alive.
  Frink:(screams) No! Wait a minute now. Guess what, I'm dying, ha, ha... with the basting and the butterballing... and the chestnut stuffing in my pupik. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Death.

293 - "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"

• The guest stars' introduction:
  (Homer, Moe, Barney, Otto and Apu are huddled around a campfire in complete darkness)
  Homer: (irritated): Hey, what gives? Where are all the rock stars?
  Chief Wiggum: (concerned) I don't know, but it's starting to get dark.
  (The first strums of a guitar are heard in the distance.)
  Homer (panic rising in his voice) Huh? What was that?
  (Guitar strings begin to rise in tempo)
  Barney: (panicking) Oh, it's getting closer!
  (Guitar solo reaches fever pitch as pyrotechnics explode, revealing. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, who was playing the opening chords to "Start Me Up".)
  Mick Jagger: Hello, campers!
  Keith Richards: How you doing?
  Homer: Omigodomigodomigod! It's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards!
  (Barney sighs and faints like a schoolgirl)
  Mick: Welcome to Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp where you'll experience the complete rock 'n' roll lifestyle without all the lawsuits and (whispers salaicously) STD's!
  Homer: Woo! STD's!
  Keith: Now you're all here for one reason...
  Homer: TO ROCK!
  Keith (angrily) Who said that?
  (Homer points to Otto)
  Keith: That's right, Otto! We're here to ROCK!
  (fireworks go off as everybody cheers)
  Mick: So get a good night's rest, and remember: Rule #1: There Are No Rules!
  (everybody cheers)
  Mick: Rule number two: no outside food.
  (everybody mumbles)
• On day one of camp, Keith yells "Hey, wake up!" over the PA system at sunrise.
• "But there's lots of other fun instruments! Like bass!"
• Later, Keith is leading Homer and others through an obstacle course with paparazzi and groupies. After leaping into the limo, he's shocked to find they're all making out with the groupie cutouts.
  Keith: They're bloody cardboard!
  Homer: We know!

294 - "Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade"

• Bart hallucinating that Pikachu and Bender (and other characters from the family's new satellite TV) are dancing the hora with him.
  Clown: It's finally happened, Bart, you've lost your mind.
• Skinner informing Homer and Marge that Bart and Lisa are missing.
  Skinner: A parent waiving their right to sue says what?
  Marge: What?
  Skinner: Got it. (Pulls out a tape recorder.)
  Homer: Hey, you can't fool us, we're from the "learn to fart" state!
• When Lisa is promoted to 3rd grade and Bart is held back into 3rd grade.
  Lisa: Bart's in the same class as me!?
  Bart: Lisa's in the same class as me!?
  (pan out to reveal that Homer is somehow watching this on TV)
  Homer: They're in the same class as each other!? (Changes channel) *Gasp* And old Army buddy is visiting Mannix?!
• Skinner's reaction to M.C. Safety and the Caution Crew:
  Skinner: *Chuckles* Look out, Beatles.
• Bart and Lisa playing "Punch Buggy" on the field trip bus. Then, all the third graders punch each other when they pass a Volkswagen dealer.
• Homer, Bart, and Lisa watch the Japanese version of Friends:
  Japanese Chandler: Do you like my new shirt? It says "Reggae Hairstyle Rock N' Roll." Could I be more Japanese?
  Japanese Phoebe: You are the emperor of last year.
  Japanese Chandler: (lowers head) Your comeback shames me.

295 - "Large Marge"

• Marge has just mistakenly been given breast implants instead of a liposuction:
  Marge: Oh yeah? Well, my husband will come back with me and he'll do a little malpractice on you!
  Doctor: (completely deadpan) Oh yes, your husband, I'm sure he'll be furious.
• Homer gives Lisa his wedding ring so he won't get paint on it: "This is a Band-Aid wrapped in tinfoil!" "My real one's inside a turtle."
• The Three Stooges-like antics of George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.
• Inspired by "El Barto", Homer calling himself "El Homo" for his attempt at graffiti.
• Drederick Tatum's scene.
  Drederick Tatum: I have been paid millions to endorse these butt-ugly shoes. (crowd disperses) My forthrightness is my undoing.
• "TV Clown Saves Day" appears to be the newspaper's headline, then it zooms out to reveal the actual one is "Crazed Mom Goes Topless" in huge red print with photos from pages 3-28.
• The credits song:
  Baha Men: Who let her jugs out?
  Homer: D'oh! D'oh-d'oh-d'oh!
  Baha Men: Marge let her jugs out!
  Homer: D'oh! D'oh-d'oh-d'oh!

296 - "Helter Shelter"

• The Law & Order: SVU parody.
• After termites escape from a souvenir hockey stick and start devouring the Simpson house overnight (long story), The Simpsons wake up to discover the damage:
  (Bart rips off huge chunk of kitchen doorframe and walks up to Marge)
  Bart: Hey, Ma! Our crapshack's going to hell!
  Marge: Bart! Watch your potty mouth!
  (The sound of splintering and cracking wood suddenly comes within earshot, as Homer comes crashing through the ceiling, on the toilet, pants down, newspaper in hands. He lands, crashing the table beneath him)
  Homer (offended) : Hey! Get out! I'm in here!''
• Homer getting sprayed in the face by the hose.

297 - "The Great Louse Detective"

• Marge accidentally sucks Maggie into a vacumm cleaner. Once freed, she dusts herself off in an annoyed manner.
• As the police can't figure out who's trying to kill Homer, they decide to release (Albeit, tagged) someone with... experience in trying to kill one of The Simpsons. (The extremely high security cell opens up to reveal... Sideshow Bob, restrained in such a manner he's suspended in the middle of the room.)
  Bart & Lisa: AHHHH! SIDESHOW BOB!
  Sideshow Bob: (Completely nonchalontly) Oh come now, we've been through so much together. Please, call me Bob.
  Bart & Lisa: AHHHH! BOB!
• The absurdly long list of Homer's enemies, most of whom are from previous episodes of the show.
  • The best part is when Marge chimes in with "The late Frank Grimes", to provide thinly-veiled foreshadowing.
  • Bob was even stunned to see how could Homer make so many enemies including the state of Florida. Homer responds that he's a people person... who drinks. Bob accepts the answer with an "Oh that really explains it" gesture.
• Bob suggests that he shadow Homer, to get an idea of his normal day. Gilligan Cut to Homer and Bob hang-gliding.
  Sideshow Bob: This is a normal day?
  Homer: I wanted to impress you.
• The sequence with the dummy Homer, to see who would want to kill Homer, capped off with Homer attacking the dummy himself.
  Homer: (maniacally) After I kill you, everyone will think I'm the real Homer!

  • And then we cut to Sideshow Bob, who is mystified that Marge and the kids aren't the slightest bit surprised by something like this.
  • The constant shocks that Sideshow Bob receives, including one where the button gets stuck and gives him a prolonged shock. Bart sums it up best:
  "I don't know how we ever had fun without him."
  • The scene where Sideshow Bob is watching That 30's Show
  Sideshow Bob: Tom Shales gave this show a good review. And I'MMM THE ONE IN PRISON!!! *Twirls his hair with a crazed expression*
• Homer's would be killer escapes on stilts, so Homer and Bob commandeer stilts from Jimbo and Kearney.
  Homer: Your king needs these stilts!
  Jimbo: Jesus is our only king.
  Homer: Not anymore!
  (Homer and Bob knock Jimbo and Kearney off their stilts)
• Bob can't kill Bart when it comes to the crunch and sings a song about it. Which Bart tries to join him in.
  Bob: This isn't a duet.
  Bart: Sorry. (He puts the duct tape Bob gagged him with back on)

298 - "Special Edna"

• Martin makes the mistake of hardening the report for the other students, earning the ire of his classmates... and especially a particular someone:
  Martin: May I type my report? It'll be easier on teacher's eyes.
  Edna: (as the class glares daggers at him) Yes. In fact, why doesn't everyone type their paper? Great idea, Martin.
  Martin: (looking worse for wear) Can the paper be 10 pages minimum?
  Edna: Well, I was gonna say five, but okay. Thanks again, Martin! (notices he's missing) Martin?
  (Martin is, in fact, completely gone, with nothing left but his floating underwear. The culprit is revealed to be Nelson, who, having apparently beaten and tossed him out the window, dusts his hands)
  Nelson: He's gone now, but you gotta admire his spirit!
• Bart and Milhouse scaring some teenagers making out by using a loudspeaker to say "get away from my daughter!" and then demanding the boys make out with one another.
• The Enron ride at Efcot.
  Atomic Car: (monotonously) Hello. I'm an electric car. I can't go very fast. Or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay.
  Gay Animatronics: (with lisps) One of us! One of us!
  • Sponsored by the auto makers of America!
• Skinner blackmailing Bart into helping him sabotage Edna's chances of winning with a picture of Bart with the caption "Teacher's Pet" on it.
  Skinner: This is a picture found on the walls of Springfield Elementary last week.
  Bart: Ok, I'll do it. Because I like you, I'll even do it pro boner.
  Skinner: It's pro bono.
  Bart: I know what I said.
• The end of the episode, where Homer climbs over a Barbed Wire fence into Disney World:
  Mickey Mouse: Step away from the wall! Step away from the wall!
  Homer: It's so beautiful! One churro, please!
  Vendor: That'll be fourteen dollars.
  (Homer sobs hysterically and then says "here" in a normal tone of voice)
• Homer mistaking Little Richard for Prince and Michael Jackson.
  (Little Richard is on stage)
  Homer: Purple Rain!
  Little Richard: SHUT UP!
  Homer: (excited) Michael Jackson told me to shut up.
• Bart asks Grandpa about World War I, and Grandpa explains that he had to lie about his age to get in. Cut to him as a toddler in the trenches, trying to show his commanding officer a picture he drew. The officer promptly goes to put him to bed, and the Germans invade while he's away.
• When Skinner reads the paper, one front page article is titled "Closed Pistachio Stymies Fatso", with an image of a frustrated Comic Book Guy.

299 - "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"

• Homer's personalized video of Lisa proving that he knows nothing about her. It depicts Lisa in a Western and claims that her favorite food is McNuggets (she's a vegetarian) and that her best friend is Maggie (the friend seen in the video is obviously an adult male).
  Homer: Mmm... McNuggets.
• When Homer and Lisa were checking in to a motel, using shoe polish to disguise themselves.
  Clerk: Sign here, Mr. Uppercut.
  Homer: Let me put on my glasses.
  (Homer draws glasses on his face with shoe polish. *Beat*. He then draws angry eyebrows on himself.)
  Homer: You're charging HOW much for a room?
• The private investigator, Dexter Colt, trying to get information from Ralph.
  Ralph: Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school!
  Colt: Yes, yes, you said that already. What else do you know?
  Ralph: I once picked my nose till it bleeded.
  Colt: About Lisa!
  Ralph: Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school!
  Colt: Someone's already worked this kid over.
• When Homer and Lisa are being chased by Wiggum he thinks he has them trapped due to a sign saying "bridge out", only for them to escape over the not-out bridge and it turns out the sign was partially obstructed and actually said "Bridge Outstanding"(by Overpass Monthly) and Wiggum curses and stomps on his hat in annoyance.
• The Turbo Diary that Lisa wants and eventually gets for her birthday shocks people who are denied access. During the end credits, Bart sneaks it out of her room and tricks Homer into trying to open it.

300 - "Strong Arms of the Ma"^note The actual 300th episode.

• "Disco Stu should have disco ducked."

301 - "Pray Anything"

• Lisa Leslie is taller than Homer. It's realistic, but it's rare to see a woman dwarf him.
• The episode features the Springfield Church's congregation having to meet in the bowling alley because Homer bought the church. Krusty bowls a ball and it accidentally lands on Reverend Lovejoy's foot, leading to this priceless moment:
  Rev. Lovejoy: And so we celebrate the—HOLY SHI—ning light of our Lord...
• Kent Brockman reporting on Lovejoy's departure:
  Kent: Good evening. Springfield is grappling tonight with the departure of Rev. Timothy Lovejoy, Bible nut. How is our community coping with this spiritual vacuum? Let's ask Arnie Pie in the sky.
  Arnie: You wanna know what I see, Kent? I see a slow news day with nothing to fill it.
  Kent: You're supposed to be filming people coping with the loss of their church.
  Arnie: And how am I supposed to do that? Do I have a magic lens that can see into people's souls? Well, yours would be black, Kent. Black as the ace of spades! (a graphic stating "Techinical difficulties, please stand by" appears on the screen)

302 - "Barting Over"^note Unoffically advertised as the 300th episode.

• Bart finds a series of video tapes in the garage one of which is titled "Marge and Homer get dirty" and decides to watch it with Lisa:
  Bart: (holds up the tape) Hey, Lis! Think you're well-adjusted? ♪I've got something to show you~!♪
  • Turns out the tape isn't quite what Bart was expecting:
    Marge: (on tape) I can't believe you talked me into this!
    Homer: (on tape) It's such a mess. Ooh! Watch the teeth!
    (the tape shows Marge and Homer are actually carving pumpkins for Halloween and getting splattered with pumpkin gunk as a result)
    Marge: Now, don't go telling your buddies at work about this.
    Bart: (sounding disappointed) Every tape is pumpkin carving!
• Bart just found out he had a commercial gig as "Baby Stink-Breath":
  Bart: Wait, I was in a commercial?! I don't remember this at all!
  (Bart holds up a Butterfinger so that the logo is clearly visible to the audience and then eats it)
  • Bart and informs Milhouse about his commercial work. Nelson then rides by on his bike:
    Bart: Promise me you won't tell anyone about it.
    Milhouse: I won't. But these things have a way of getting out.
    Nelson: (while riding his bike, points to Bart and looks at him) Ha-ha! Baby Stink-Breath! (he crashes into a tree because he was still looking at Bart) Daaah! Gruuh! It was worth it.
• Before informing Milhouse, Bart attempts to choke Homer over the fact that he used the money from the commercial to buy back incriminating photos of him accidentally dropping Bart as a baby. When his hands were too small, he pulls out Homer's Belt and strangles him with it.
  • This is more of a reversal of the fabled "Why you little" running gag where Homer normally chokes Bart over a smart alleck situation. Only this time, spending Bart's commercial money is serious business.
• The sequence with blink-182:
  Tony Hawk: Yo, Blink 182!
  (they stop playing)
  Tom DeLonge: We have names, y'know!
  Tony Hawk: Whatever! Crank it up!
  (they start playing again)
  Mark Hoppus: Man, let's trash this place!
  Travis Barker: After we get paid.
  Mark Hoppus: Nice!
• Bart trying and failing to keep that he knows Tony Hawk low profile.
  Bart: Thanks for the lift Tony Hawk, I gotta go now Tony Hawk. (to Milhouse) Cool guy, Tony Hawk.
  Milhouse: Bart, you know Tony Hawk?!
  Bart: Please, I'm trying to keep it low profile. (to Tony Hawk) Catch you later Tony Hawk!
  Tony Hawk: Stay cool, Brett!
• When Bart lifts his shirt to show off a bunch of (clip-on) nipple piercings, Marge's scream is absolutely priceless on account of it sounding very much like Homer. Why? Because, fun fact, that actually was Dan Castellaneta's voice! They simply used a recording of him pitched up because Julie Kavner genuinely couldn't pull off a scream like that.
• This line which Tony Hawk states in the DVD Commentary, he still uses to this day.
  Tony Hawk: You're going down, Homer. Then up. Then down. Then back up again. That's how the game is played.

303 - "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can"

• When Bart is asked to spell the word "imply", Nelson jokingly interprets his statement of "I-M-P" as Bart saying that he is made of pee. Ralph then says that he made Bart in his pants. Later, Lisa is asked to spell "impune" and Bart attempts to make the same joke about her, but Nelson hits Bart on the head and yells "Shut up, pee!"

304 - "A Star is Born Again"

• When Ned realizes that he's got a date with a movie star, an Irish security guard walks past and snarks at him.
  Ned: Sara Sloane?! I've got a date with a movie star?!
  Guard: Sure you do, and I'm going apple picking with Scooby-Doo. Twoi twoi twoi twoi.
• When Sara's wearing a somewhat revealing outfit, Homer drolls a little over her and drops his nachos when he trips over. He swaps between whining over his nachos and drooling over Sara's breasts. Made even funnier when, hours later, he's still doing it.

305 - "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington"

• The vibrations from the planes cause the Simpsons to swap meals at dinner. Lisa gets Bart's veal, Bart gets Lisa's plankton kebabs, Homer gets whatever Marge is eating and Maggie gets Homer's can of Duff.
• When their congressman has a stroke, Marge calls out for someone to perform CPR. Homer mistakes it for CCR.
  Homer: Uh, I see, a bad moon rising.
  Marge: That's CCR!
  Homer: Looks like we're in for nasty weather?
• When Homer and Marge attempt to sell their house due to the airplanes flying over it.
  Ralph: (to Homer) I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house.
  Cookie Kwan: It's a good deal. I advise you to take it.
  Homer: Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal.
  Ralph: I'm walking away. (walks away)
• Lisa's waiting for the right distraction to slip an important bill into congress.
  Homer: (bursts in on the ground floor, drunk) You call this a bicameral legislature??! (spits on the floor, and gets immediately assaulted by security, including whaling on his groin) OOOH—I say, I say, my groin!!
  • The reason why Homer was drunk was because his job was to get a congressman too drunk to oppose the project. It was kind of easy.
  Congressman: Hey want to have a drinking contest with me after the vote?
  Homer: Why not before?
  • Said congressman (from the South, by the way) wakes up at the meeting and says, "I don't wanna fight no Union!"
• Krusty's first assignment as a representative is to clean up Capitol Hill graffiti. Among other standouts, there's "Martin Van Buren is a wiener". And also:
  Krusty: Grover Cleveland sucks what?
  Other Representative: Leave it! Lest we forget...
• Krusty's United Nations sketch.

306 - "C.E. D'oh"

• The whole "How to Strip for Your Wife" class was pure comic gold.
  "Aww, nobody loves Oily Homer..."
• The Successmanship Guy's description of his car: "That's a Bentley Mark XII. They gave one to me, one to Steven Spielberg, then they shot the guy who made it." Lenny comments that he'd hate to be in that union.
• The Successmanship Guy defenestrating Moleman after "reading his mind".
  The Successmanship Guy: Oh I'll stop sucking, later. Give me your hand.
• Homer talking about firing robots: "Don't tell me they can't cry."
• Finally, Homer talking with the female employee at the retreat:
  Female Employee: Homer, I'll go over the organization chart if you'll just stop staring at my boobs.
  Homer: No deal.
• Maggie dancing to "Sex Bomb".
• Mr. Burns trying to brick Homer up in a mausoleum for stealing his business, but is so feeble he only has a row and a half of bricks laid by the time Homer recovers.

307 - "'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky"

• Marge blurting, "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" in her sleep-deprived stupor.
• Milhouse's boasts that when he grows up he'll be a star MLB hitter...then we see a montage of him constantly striking out, before switching to T-ball, throwing the bat, etc. until he finally lightly bumps the ball of the tee into the dirt, then immediately trips while attempting to start running the bases.

308 - "Three Gays of the Condo"

• "Weird Al" Yankovic's parody song.
• Homer ends up drunk with his gay roommates and winds up late for his date with Marge to reconcile.
  Homer: You guys don't have a gay time machine, do you?
  Julio: Yes, it's called Grady's shoe closet.
  Grady: Hey Julio, ouch.
• Lenny's Running Gag of getting stuff in his eyes.

309 - "Dude, Where's My Ranch?"

• Maggie dancing to Britney Spears and advertising Buzz Cola.
• Ned Flanders, Rod, and Todd dancing along to "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders".
  Homer: If you despise polite left-handers, then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders, or his creepy offspring Rod and Todd.
  Rod and Todd:: That's us! Hooray!
• Moe forcing David Byrne to write and sing his song. Moe's song itself:
  Moe (to the tune of "More More More"): Moe Moe Moe! How do you like me? How do you like me? Moe Moe Moe! Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me.
• Why is a shelf of pamphlets at the Simpsons home? When the Simpsons saw it at the motel, Homer noticed it said, "Take One"!
• The dude ranch is set up on the site of an 1881 battle where 56 Indians were killed and 4 Americans lost there hats. Guess which ones the ranch gives respect to.
• Let's just say that Cookie is an underrated Simpsons character.

310 - "Old Yeller Belly"

• Homer deciding to punish Santa's Little Helper by eating a ham in front of him. "Marge, prepare the emergency ham!" It gets a Call-Back at the end when the dog returns to the family.
  Homer: Prepare the celebration ham!
  Marge: All we have are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham.
  Homer: Marge, they're just hams, okay?

311 - "Brake My Wife, Please"

• A good escalation of Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick.
  Homer: DVD player, check. Snow cone machine, check. Lite-Brite, (pegs are in the shape of Homer) check. Fog machine... (fog starts filling up car) Even I think this is crazy!
• Homer complaining about everyone driving but him. The responses sell the scene.
  Comic Book Guy: I can't drive 55, it only goes 38!
  Ralph: (in Chief Wiggum's car) I let go of the parking brake!
  Chief Wiggum: (on a tricycle) Ralphie, if you stop the car, I'll let you play with my gun!
• How the episode ends after a heartwarming dinner.
  Homer: And to all of my friends, I say get the hell off of my lawn! (Homer turns the sprinklers on and everyone leaves)
• Jackson Browne's guest appearance was hilarious. He acts like he's going to play a song off his new album and everyone groans.

312 - "The Bart of War"

• When Lenny and Carl eats the candy sold to them by the Calvary Kids:
  Lenny: Oh man that went soft quick, I gotta find the bathroom! (Carl and him run to the Kwik-E-Mart)
• During the brawl at the stadium, various random characters are fighting each other, culiminating with Moe up against Drederick Tatum.
  Moe: Oh, geez. How did this happen?

313 - "Moe Baby Blues"

• The citizens fleeing the botanical garden after the Sumatran Century flower's fumes scare them away, leaving the entire garden dead or trampled, save for one healthy tulip. Homer runs back to spitefully smash it underfoot just because he doesn't like it being the only thing unscathed by the whole disaster.
• Elmo plush slapping Moe.
  Moe: Now let's see. What else can we do? We can't tickle Elmo no more. Coochie coochie coo!
  Elmo: No means no for Elmo! (slaps Moe)
• In the middle of a Mexican standoff between Fat Tony’s gang and the Castellaneta Family, the President of the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League steps in, as if he noticed Maggie about to be caught in the middle:
  President: Now, hold on! I'm President of the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League. (Angrily produces his two guns, akimbo style, also revealing that he, too, is unaware of Maggie being in the middle of this)...and this really burns my cannoli!
• Followed by this black comedy gem by Fat Tony as he, along with his gang, the Castellaneta Family, and President were reduced to tears upon realizing from Moe about themselves almost getting Maggie killed:
  Fat Tony: (Crying while tearfully hugging a crying Legs in comfort) I ain’t cried like this since I paid to see “Godfather III.” (He and Legs tearfully glance as an innocent smiling Maggie, and then collapsed onto the floor, crying some more)
• Finally, in the episode’s photo montage finale, Homer literally spending quality time with Moe’s ham while Moe spends time with Maggie. Even in one photo, Homer drunkenly gave himself and the ham heart labeled tattoos, with Homer’s reading “Ham” and the ham’s reading “Homer.”

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