Funny / The Simpsons Season 19

The Simpsons Funny Moments Index
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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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401 - "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"

• Colby Kraus admitting he lied about his college:
  Colby: Actually, I lied, I didn't go to Harvard. I went to the Harvard of the South.
  Homer: Duke?
  Colby: Further south.
  Homer: Vanderbilt? That's still pretty good.
  Colby: No, further south. Don't make me say it.

402 - "Homer of Seville"

• After Homer makes it clear to Julia that he's not into her, she attempts to kill him by putting a live cobra in his cereal box.
• When Marge thwarts Julia's second attempt to kill Homer with a poisoned dart by using a French horn to send it back at her, the police in the balconies attempt to snipe her. They all miss.

403 - "Midnight Towboy"

• Homer literally crying over spilled milk.
• Marge tries to surf the Internet to find a solution to Maggie being too clingy with the help of Bart and Lisa:
  Bart: Click that one, Mom.
  Lisa: No, go up.
  Bart: Keep going up, up, up!
  Lisa: The blue ones are ads.
  Bart: That's the toolbar.
  Lisa: Now you've opened Word; close it.
  Bart: Close it. Do-Don't save it.
  Lisa: Stop clicking.
  Bart: Don't go there!
  Lisa: Why are you buying a freezer?
  Bart: Don't click the cart or you've bought it!
  Lisa: Aw, you clicked the cart.
  • After Bart finds a site immediately, Marge tries to sign up.
    Bart: Oh, you just bought another freezer!
    Marge: Well maybe I wanted another freezer!
• When the therapist blocks Marge from helping a crying Maggie, Marge gives her a kick to the crotch to get around her, only to see Maggie doing well.
  Marge: Uh, sorry about the kick. I've never done anything like that before.
  Therapist: (frowning) Well, I'm glad your first time was such a success.
• After Maggie becomes independent:
  Marge: At least you need me, sack of potatoes. (starts rocking the sack of potatoes to sleep)
• Homer: When you married a man who would years later without warning become a tow truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.
• Comic Book Guy was apparently out in the middle of the night with his camcorder recording Maggie riding Santa's Little Helper.
• In a scene that goes from adorable to funny, Homer gives Maggie her nose back as thanks for rescuing him, only to realise that he gave her Lisa's nose.

404 - "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

• Dwight's constant misfortunes(I.E. crawling through the prison sewer pipe instead of the water pipe, having dye-packs repeatedly explode on him)

405 - "Treehouse of Horror XVIII"

A - E.T., Go Home

• Bart throws a baseball into the propane shed out back. Something throws it back out. Bart throws it hard...and Kang staggers out, clutching himself and groaning an unintelligble word.
  Bart: Is that your name?
  Kang: No, you hit me in my seven hundred testicles!

B - Mr. and Mrs. Simpson

Mr. Burns: Greetings, 241.

Homer: Why does he always mention my weight?

Marge: All this time I thought you were out getting drunk, you were killing people?

Homer: I was getting drunk, then killing people!

Homer: (after a disguised Marge throws a shuriken at his gun) Now I'm mad! (shuriken hits him in the head) Now I'm blehsahkabalandhaekrr...

C - Heck House

• Lenny gets robbed by the kids
  Lenny: How is this a prank? You're stealing my TV!
  Lisa: I fed your fish
  Lenny: You overfed them, you're the worst one of all!

406 - "Little Orphan Millie"

• Marge offering to "krump" with Bart. She really gets into it, while Bart just dances awkwardly. One of her poses from this was amusing enough to become a meme.
• Milhouse's dream consists of him sitting happily in a chair as a clock counts down the time until he wakes up.

407 - "Husbands and Knives"

• Ralph Wiggum is getting what is heavily implied to be his copy of Maus signed by Art Spiegelman. The simple visual of that says a lot.
• "Watchmen Babies: V For Vacation."
  Milhouse: Which of the babies is your favorite?
• The fact that Alan Moore is on The Simpsons voicing himself.

408 - "Funeral for a Fiend"

• "Oh, next time a commercial comes on, I'm gonna cover my eyes, close my ears and scream as loud as I can!" (cut to commercial break; Homer screams)
• Homer thinks Wes Doobner and Sideshow Bob are different people even after it's revealed they're one and the same.
  Homer: I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
  Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
  Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint. I work hard, and when I go out with my family, I expect a certain level of basic—
  Sideshow Bob: Shut up!

409 - "Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind"

• The scene in which Moe shows Homer the video of how the Forget-Me-Shot is made, ending with Moe pausing the video. Moe's face on the freeze frame is somewhat weird looking, causing Moe to frame skip through the video, wondering if he really does look that ugly. The other freeze frames turn out to be even worse.
• This bit in the retirement home:
  Grampa: Thank goodness you come to visit me, son! I can't take one more minute of this high school glee club pretending they don't hate being here.
  Glee club: (monotone, disinterested singing) Oh, what a night, / You know I didn't even know her name. / But I was never gonna be the same. / What a lady, what a night...
  Grampa: You'll eat our cookies, but you won't look at us!
• Professor Frink puts Homer into the memory recovery machine:
  Frink: Now you'll feel a slight pinch, followed by an extremely painful pinch, signaling that the spike will begin boring into your skull three seconds later.
  Homer: Bo-ring!
  Frink: Yes, that's right, boring.
• Homer wants Santa's Little Helper to show him where the rest of the family has gone using Map Quest.

410 - "E Pluribus Wiggum"

• Springfield deciding how to rebuild Fast Food Boulevard.
  Dr. Hibbert: To raise the money, we'll need a bond issue.
  Lisa: But won't that just shift the burden to your children?
  Bart: No, you idiot. We just pay for it with another bond issue. (points to Maggie) Let her figure out someone to dump it on.
  (Maggie looks to her left and sees an empty seat. She pouts)
• Homer's Imagine Spot of what a "think tank" is. The punchline is that he's completely accurate:
  Lisa: I think it's exciting. Springfield is the centre of the political universe. I feel like a pundit in a think tank!
  Homer: "Think tank", eh?... [a thought bubble appears next to him, accompanied by a harp glissando]
  [in Homer's Imagine Spot, a group of people are sitting around a long, boardroom-style table; a sign on the wall reads "The Center for Global Progress"]
  CGP session leader: Now, let's consider World Bank lending policy toward Micronesia.
  [the other think tank members begin talking amongst themselves; the Imagine Spot ends with another harp glissando, and Homer notices that Marge, Lisa, Maggie, and Bart are all leaning away from him, looking at him as though he's just grown a third eye]
  Homer: What? Not allowed to get one right?
• Homer suggests in a bar that they vote for the stupidest person they can think to run the country, someone "unbelievably ridiculous" (when he initially suggests "ridiculous", Apu proposes Dennis Kucinich, who is standing right next to him). Chief Wiggum proposes himself, and Homer says, "No, but you're close." The actual candidate: Ralph Wiggum.

411 - "That '90s Show"

• Marge suggests having sex with Homer only when she's totally drunk, but Homer says that they should follow their celebrity role models and points at a billboard outside...picturing Sonic the Hedgehog giving a ring to Amy Rose.

412 - "Love, Springfieldian Style"

• Mr. Burns and Smithers are having a Valentine's Day dinner. Burns' platter has a "Sweet on You" candy heart, while Smithers' has one reading "Release the Hounds". Cut to Burns' dogs chasing Smithers away.

B - Shady And The Vamp

This line from Goofy commenting on almost dying in the dog pound's gas chamber:

Goofy: This place was no picnic, but it sure beats working for Disney!

413 - "The Debarted"

• After Bart locks Milhouse in a locker (thinking he's the rat), Cletus comes by and mistakes it for an outhouse.

414 - "Dial "N" for Nerder"

• Maggie playing online poker.

415 - "Smoke on the Daughter"

• Chazz Busby's commercial.
  See that? That's talent. You think you got it? You don't. 'Cause only I can teach it and I ain't taught you, so you don't. The Chazz Busby Ballet Academy is coming to Springfield. Auditions are Monday, callbacks are Tuesday, Wednesday you see I'm a heartless bastard, Thursday you realize YOU LOVE ME, DAMMIT!, Friday, we're closed.
• When Marge gives the aesop about not making your children live your dream, Bart asks Homer if he can stop being a heel luchador named El Guapo (the bold). Homer refuses and asks him to perform a Cheap Heat routine.
• This exchange:
  Bart: Dad, you never win in a fight against animals. Remember your war with the worms?
  Homer: That was not a defeat, that was a phased withdrawl.
  Bart: Then why did they made you build that statue? (Points at statue◊ of Homer bowing at a worm, titled "WORMS ARE BETTER THAN ME")

416 - "Papa Don't Leech"

• The reconciliation song:
  All: Yeah Daddy's back!
  Lurleen Lumpkin: And I'm feeling like a daughter
  All: Daddy's back!
  Bart: And she's feeling like she oughta
  All: Daddy's back!
  Royce Lumpkin: And he's drinking bottled water
  Lisa: Keep it down! I'm reading Harry Potter
  Marge: My body wash is Estee Lauder
  All: Daddy's back and I'm feeling like a daughter again!
  (Beat)
  Grampa: And here comes Grampa with an otter!
  • Also later in the episode where Royce steals Lurleen's song and sells it to the Dixie Chicks, turning it into a typical patriotic country song by simply substituting "Feeling like a daughter" with "Feeling patriotter".
• Lurleen cuts the word "pop" out of all the foods in the house.
  Bart: You'd think living in a house full of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing.
• Springfield's new slogan is a billboard reading "SPRINGFIELD: GOOD."
• Homer tries to get a picture with Bart and Lisa in a photo booth. They both start messing around, and when Homer lunges at Bart, the camera flashes; cut to Homer wearing a shirt with a picture of his butt captioned "Daddy's Special Pair."
• During a song performance, Bart spray paints "country music sucks" on the wall.

417 - "Apocalypse Cow"

• Bart's marriage:
  Bart: Mom, I have to do this. I love that big old cow!
  Mary: How could you say that?! I starved myself to get into this dress!
  Bart: No, no, no, no! You look great, honey!
• This scene:
  Cletus: We name all our kids after what we think'll happen to 'em. Ain't that right, Stabbedinjail?
  Stabbedinjail: We'll see who stabs who.
• There's something rather amusing about "Canon in D" being played by a jugband.

418 - "Any Given Sundance"

• Marge's attempt to find a Sundance film she'll enjoy, especially after being burned by the deceptive titles of Regularsville and Candyland.
  Marge: I get it. Every title is the opposite of what it means. Which means I'll love Chernobyl Graveyard. (runs in then quickly walks out) I didn't.
• "No more Simpsons movies! One was plenty!"
• Homer's "film festival" Imagine Spot
• When discussing Lisa's family with her, Skinner pulls out a newspaper article titled "Aquarium To Stop Serving Beer". The accompanying photo is of Homer getting into a drunken fight with a giant octopus.

419 - "Mona Leaves-a"

• Homer's "Code 4" rampage while destroying the hippo dolls with Bart's recorded voice insulting him, even stabbing them with a stuffed unicorn's horn.

420 - "All About Lisa"

• Homer getting into a fight with a Leprechaun.

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