Funny / The Editing Room

  • The Running Gag from the Harry Potter articles of the audience noticing Emma Watson and having to back out of sexual innuendos, up until the Half-Blood Prince script, where she reveals she's now legal.
  • This moment from the script for Killer Elite:
    Jason Statham: Time to put on my best grim expression, go kick some ass, and find the bastards who kidnapped that Chinese girl.
    Robert De Niro: Jason, I think you're getting confused with Safe.
    Jason Statham: You're right - I mean, find the bastards who kidnapped that Chinese girl's family.
    Robert De Niro: Not quite, that's The Transporter.
    Jason Statham: The bastards who kidnapped that Chinese doctor?
    Robert De Niro: The Expendables 2.
    Jason Statham: The Chinese bastard who kidnapped me?
    Robert De Niro: The One.
    Jason Statham: The Chinese bastard who killed my colleague?
    Robert De Niro: War.
    Jason Statham: The bastards who injected me with Chinese poison?
    Robert De Niro: Crank.
    Jason Statham: The Chinese bastards who cut me open?
    Robert De Niro: Crank: High Voltage.
    Jason Statham: Well if there isn't anyone Chinese in this movie, what the bloody fuck am I supposed to be doing?
  • From the script for Thor:
    CHRIS hammers the FUCK out of THE ROBOT, hammers the FUCK out of some FROST GIANTS, hammers the FUCK out of TOM HIDDLESTON, and hammers the FUCK out of the RAINBOW BRIDGE.
  • During the script for The Mummy (1999):
    Script: ARNOLD attacks BRENDAN but BRENDAN instead kills him using a talisman or some other shit, I wasn't really paying attention.
  • The image caption for The Cabin in the Woods.
  • In the script for X-Men: First Class, Kevin Bacon's plan is so ridiculous that they actually stop the movie to hold a symposium about how stupid it is, which lasts about 4 months.
  • The script for Pokémon. All of it.
  • The script for The Princess and the Frog being very clear about how Ray has a Family-Unfriendly Death, or, as they put it, Keith David "KILLS HIM TO DEATH WITH MURDER".
  • The script for The LEGO Movie doesn't even use an actual screenshot. Just a picture of LEGO Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern.
    • And then there's this:
    BATMAN: (appearing) Boo! I'm Batman! Hey, shouldn't I be "CGI Will Arnett?"
    FUCK THAT, YOU'RE BATMAN.
  • This exchange from The Wolverine where a big Plot Hole is pointed out.
    HAL YAMANOUCHI: Hugh, I've asked you here to reward you. Your reward is: give me your healing powers.
    HUGH JACKMAN: You seem a little misinformed as to how rewards work.
    HAL YAMANOUCHI: No, think about it. You hate your life, don't want to be The Wolverine any more and look forward to death. By making you mortal I'm pretty much granting your deepest desires.
    HUGH JACKMAN: ...Huh, that's true. At this point of my character arc this should be an irresistible offer. So, hmm, what's a compelling reason for me to say no?
    (thinks)
    (thinks)
    (thinks)
    HUGH JACKMAN: Ah, reasons are for pussies. Shove your release from eternal suffering up your ass.
  • The fact that they combined No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits into one script because of how alike they were.
  • The ending of the script for Journey 2: the Mysterious Island, where things get so ridiculous that everyone's Willing Suspension of Disbelief actually snaps!
  • The site turns the plot of Super 8 into a war between Steven Spielberg and J. J. Abrams.
    Kyle Chandler: Hmm, the Sheriff being taken out by a menacing, barely-glimpsed CGI monster sounds like the work of J.J. Abrams. Yet the movie bending over backwards to make sure we know all the dogs are safe spells 80's Spielberg.
    (dramatic pause)
    Kyle Chandler: I suspect our small town has become the battleground, and us mere pawns, in a Clash of the Titans!
    CUE: DRAMATIC CHORD
    Random cop: Come on, Kyle, that movie sucked in the 80s AND present day. Let's aim a LITTLE higher.
    Kyle Chandler: Er... hm, Abrams vs. Spielberg... this could be the work of the Raiders of the "LOST" Ark?
    Random cop: Too high.
  • From The Expendables:
    Jason Statham: Christ, I've already done Transporter and Crank, how did I wind up in yet another over-the-top, intentionally bad action movie?
    Sylvester Stallone: You mean intentionally awesome.
    Jason Statham: Right, sure, but awesomely bad. I get it.
    Sylvester Stallone: No, awesomely awesome. Dude, look how many muscles I have. I look like a goddamned wad of bubble wrap. This is the best movie ever made.
  • A marvelous Lampshade Hanging from the script to King Kong (2005).
    Adrien Brody's nose: Naomi! Come down from there! I love you!
    Naomi Watts: I'm sorry, Adrian! I'm in love with this ape.
    Adrien Brody's nose: Then I shall write a play for you in which you fall in love with an ape!
    Naomi Watts: Are you crazy? Who would watch a human woman fall in love with an ape and think of it as anything but a ridiculous joke? Seriously, it would be completely absurd!
    Adrien Brody's nose: What if I made it a three hour long play so that people forget what they're actually watching?
    Naomi Watts: That would only make matters worse! The pretentiousness of a three hour story about a woman and an ape ought to be enough to kill the careers of everyone involved!
    It DOESN'T. Suddenly, PLANES shoot at KING KONG and he falls and dies.
  • Every single one of the T-Rex's lines in the script of Jurassic Park, starting with the caption of the image:
    (The T-Rex is looking into the kids' car)
    T-Rex: "Yep, I locked the keys in there all right. Fuuuck."
  • Fucking Leia managed to drop the ball on a line that every single person in the galaxy must know by now:
    "May mass and acceleration multiply themselves in your presence. (pause) Was that right? It's been a while."
    • And Rey's meeting with Luke Skywalker might explain some of those daymares she experienced:
    Daisy Ridley: Ermm... hey look, I bet you'll be happy to see this... it's your old lightsaber!
    Mark Hamill: Oh cool, yeah my father used that to murder like 100 children.
    Daisy Ridley: Wait, what?
  • There's a line in Ted that will split the sides of anyone who has watched the movie:
    Mila Kunis: (eating parsnip) This tastes kinda fishy, yet strangely familiar.
  • The abridged version of Superman summed up in one line:
    "Seriously, physics can go eat the biggest possible bag of dicks."
  • From Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice:
    • The one part of superheroics that wasn't commented on in the movie:
    Rescued Girl: Thanks, Super-Cavill! Um, you do realize there are individual people in mortal danger every second of every day, somewhere on Earth, right? If you only rescue people on TV then aren't you implicitly handing moral authority over to the media, abdicating your personal responsibility behind a smokescreen of perception bias which
    Super-Cavill: LOOKS LIKE THIS WAS A JOB... FOR SUPER-CAVILL!! (lowers himself into crowd) YES, EVERYONE LAY ADORING HANDS ON ME, OH YEAHH, YEAHHH THAT'S IT, MMMMM YESSSSSSS (perforates wall)
    • A follow-up to Batfleck's "Do you bleed?" line. Someone had clearly been dying to make fun of that one:
    "Wait I'm not done, what about excessive perspiration? Runny nose? How about anal leakage, you ever deal with that? Asking for a friend!"
    • During the senate hearing, Superman is mulling over what groceries he should buy. When the bomb goes off and everyone dies, he's suddenly reminded that he needs to get more ground beef.
    • And then there's that old chestnut:
    The Batfleck:(into radio) Hey Jeremy, before I go in there and kill everyone, would you check their mothers' names real quick?
    Jeremy Irons:(on radio) Querying the Interpol database now... they're mostly Russian goons, so lots of Katyas and Olgas. There is one Maria, I hope that isn't a problem...
    The Batfleck: NOPE WE'RE ALL GOOD IT'S BATMURDERTIIIIIME!!!!!!!
  • Watchmen makes an Incredibly Lame Pun sound hilarious:
    (MALIN notices another copy of BILLY working on his nuclear THINGAMAJIG.)
    Malin Akerman: What the fuck? You're working in here too? Why did you even say you wanted to have sex if you would have rather worked?
    Billy Crudup: It's not like that, Malin. I definitely needed to get laid. After all... I've got blue balls.
    Malin Akerman: ...
    Billy Crudup: Hey-oooo!
    Billy Crudup: Please don't dump me, Malin. It would make me so... blue. Eh? Eh?
  • The script for Ghostbusters (1984) introduces William Atherton (Walter Peck), then immediately crosses his name out and replaces it with "Dickless" for the rest of the script.
  • From Captain America: Civil War:
    • The driver of the car in the prologue crashes while swerving away from the giant "1991" caption.
    • The first fight between Sebastian Stan and Chadwick Boseman.
    Sebastian Stan: Come on. Quip at me. Call me Captain Chrome, offer to lend me a hand. Anything.
    Chadwick Boseman: Sorry. Black Panther don't wisecrack.
    (He ATTACKS SEBASTIAN like a fucking PRO.)
    Sebastian Stan: Holy shit, a Marvel character who doesn’t undercut every serious moment with a wry observation? I’m not prepared for this! Abort! Abort!
    • The Defenders' actors glaring after Robert Downey Jr. picks Tom Holland over them for his team. Never mind the lack of an explanation for how exactly Charlie Cox could glare while playing a blind man.
    • When Robert Downey Jr. beats up Sebastian Stan, Stan tries to calm him down with, "OKAY OKAY WAIT WAIT WAIT... er, my Mom had the same name as yours?" and a "sheepish grin", but RDJ just beats him up some more while asking, "Why the fuck would that matter?"
    • Chadwick Boseman delivers this gem before capturing Daniel Bruhl right before he tries to shoot himself:
    You're a Marvel movie villain that doesn't utterly suck donkeyballs, we may need you!

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