Film: Crank

"Fuck you, Chelios!"

A hitman named Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) has been injected with a slow-acting poison that will eventually cause his body to shut down. His doctor is far away and his flight was delayed. If he runs out of adrenaline, he will die.

Crank is a 2006 action film where Jason Statham kicks everyone's ass. Followed by a sequel, Crank: High Voltage, in 2009. After the events of the first movie, Chev pursues his heart, which has been literally stolen by Chinese gangsters. He must electrocute himself to charge his artificial heart and prevent himself from dying. Hilarity Ensues.

Crank has examples of:

  • Action Girl: Eve has a moment of this in the sequel.
  • And Show It to You: A rare survivor's example, when Chelios revives in time to see his original heart being removed.
  • Ass Shove: Crosses into Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique at the beginning of Crank 2: High Voltage.
  • Auto Erotica
  • Back from the Dead: Chelios in the second movie. Several people openly comment on this.
  • Backup Twin: Venus in High Voltage.
  • Bad Ass: Chev. Not surprising, since he's Jason Statham.
  • Bald of Awesome: Chev. Not surprising, since he's ... ah, you know.
  • Big Damn Heroes: At the end of the second movie, an army of transsexuals called in by Venus and strippers by the Asian hooker save his ass.
  • Black and Gray Morality: Chelios himself is not a saintly protagonist, but the people he's up against are much worse. Borders on Evil vs. Evil in High Voltage, though.
  • Black Comedy: Occasionally crosses over into Black Comedy. A PERFECT example would be in the second movie, where an innocent bystander from the first movie gets therapy; cue ricocheting bullet hitting him in the head and his therapist puking her guts out into a garbage can.
    • The second movie is entirely made out of this and intentionally offensive stereotypes.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: A scene in the first movie has Chev reading the on-screen subtitles. In the second movie, he whistles along with the soundtrack early on and gives a middle finger to the audience during the ending.
  • Bulletproof Human Shield: In Crank, Chev Chelios uses his friend's dead body as a shield.
  • The Cameo:
    • Chester Bennington shows up a few times. The first of which is in the original movie, where he suggests the acquisition of epinephrine in order for Chev to stave off the poison.
    • Ron Jeremy and a whole group of porn stars in the second movie. Made even funnier when you hear in an interview with Brian Taylor that they never intended for Ron Jeremy to be in the movie, he just found out about it and showed up.
    • Lloyd Kaufman
    • Maynard James Keenan. He's walking the dog in the second movie.
    • Geri Halliwell (formerly known as Ginger Spice).
    • John de Lancie
  • Clothing Damage: In Crank, Chev accidentally rips Eve's dress just before they have in sex in Chinatown, which has the convenient effect of making her outfit much more Stripperiffic for the rest of the film.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: FUCK YOU, CHELIOS! Even turns into a montage in the middle of the sequel.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Chev prefers to simply beat everyone to death if he isn't in direct possession of a gun.
    • He also takes pretty much every gun off of everyone he kills. Any time he kills someone with a better or just plain different gun, he picks it up and uses it to kill the next guy.
  • Continuity Nod: The first time Chev points his finger like a gun at someone's head and a bullethole appears, it had been planned out beforehand. When it happens again in the sequel, he stares at his hand with an expression that clearly says 'What the hell? It's happening on its own now?'
  • Country Matters: In the sequel, Chelios screams at a man: "MASSIVE HOMO CUNT!"
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Venus. "You killed my brother, motherfucker. Prepare to die."
  • Determinator: Chelios is the living embodiment of determination. He not only displays new levels of badassery with absolutely every move he does, he does it while poison is slowly killing his body or when his heart has been taken out.
  • Disney Villain Death: Played with in the first film. Both Chelios and Verona fall out of a helicopter. Subverted for Verona, since Chelios snaps his neck in mid-fall. Also subverted with Chelios himself, since he gets better in the second film.
  • Dirty Old Man: Poon Dong.
  • Disposable Sex Worker: Played with in High Voltage: Chev (unintentionally) saves Ria from becoming one.
    • Played a bit more straight in the final battle: an army of prostitutes called by Ria and Venus gun down the various mooks, including a few hapless naked women and some of the prostitutes themselves.
    • A few strippers also die in the second action scene.
  • Doomed Protagonist: Subverted to hell and back.
  • Deus Sex Machina: In both movies, his problems can be solved momentarily by screwing or rubbing on little old ladies.
  • Enfant Terrible: It's revealed in the second movie that Chelios himself had been beating up a kid with a trash can when he was young.
  • Eureka Moment: Early in the first movie, Chev remembers how his heart felt better when he smashed the tv and sped in his car (raising his adrenaline).
    I'm gonna have to kick some black ass.
  • Face-Heel Turn: Don Kim is spared by Chev in the first movie and comes to his aid in the climax, but by the second movie he tries to cash in on a bounty on Chev.
  • Fanservice: The movie basically pushes the R rating as absolutely far as it will go, in terms of nudity and sex as well as profanity and violence.
  • Fighting with Chucks: Venus in the sequel.
  • Fun with Subtitles
  • Gorn
  • Groin Attack: Several.
  • Hand Cannon: The number of Desert Eagles used in High Voltage is close to insane.
  • Hey, It's That Guy!: In-Universe example, one of the characters in the first movie notes that Chelios looks like "that guy in the Transporter movies."
  • Hilarious Outtakes: At the end of the second movie.
    Statham: "I take it you're the faggot who's been hunting me all day?... (reads line) I'm sorry, the Ferret..."
  • Hilarity Ensues: While the first movie is (somewhat) sane, the second one is so ridiculously over the top that it qualifies as comedy gold.
  • Hollywood Tourette's: Subverted in High Voltage. Venus, who claims to have "full-body Tourette's" gets periodic full-body convulsions (in line with a very severe motor tic), but swears significantly less than the healthy but foul-mouthed Chelios.
  • Homage: The whole series is basically one long video game.
  • Humiliation Conga: While Chev is already a Butt Monkey for most of what he goes through, each movie tends to contain at least one segment where he has to stop being badass for awhile and just do some flat-out embarrassing things to stay alive.
  • Ironic Echo: "Experiencing a little twenty-twenty hindsight right about now, ain't ya?"
  • It's Personal: Parodied with the transsexual's brother in the second movie.
  • Jerkass: Chev Chelios, in both movies - although occasional, fairly feeble attempts are made at portraying him as a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, he seems by turns either genuinely uncaring or vaguely amused by much of the havoc he causes.
    • To make up for it, pretty much everyone he's up against also embodies this trope.
    • It's also thoroughly lampshaded in the second movie with a huge segment of "Fuck you, Chelios!" flashbacks going all the way back to his childhood, in which he's on a Maury-like show getting yelled at for being a little shit.
  • Jumping on a Grenade: One of the bad guys in the first movie uses his bodyguard to save himself from the blast. The bodyguard sees this as an honor, maybe because he didn't notice the grenade and probably thought his boss pushed him down to keep him from becoming a bullet sponge.
  • Kavorka Man: Chev's doctor is an old man with a hot girlfriend.
  • Knight in Shining Armor: High Voltage: Ria mistakes Chev as hers, says as much, and immediately develops a full-blown Bodyguard Crush on him.
    "You need me like Whitney Houston!"
  • The Last Dance
  • Living on Borrowed Time
  • Losing Your Head/Brain in a Jar: Ricky Verona.
  • Lost in Translation: The Mook with the shotgun stuck up his ass is supremely confused when Chev asks what happened to his "Strawberry tart".
  • Lyrical Dissonance: REO Speedwagon's "Keep On Loving You" is played in High Voltage as Chelios literally burns to a crisp.
  • MacGuffin: Johnny Vang's red cooler in High Voltage until we find out it doesn't actually hold Chelios' heart and instead has something so disturbing that Chev looks at Johnny and says sincerely, "I am shocked to my core. You've got some deep problems, motherfucker."
  • Made of Iron: Chev Chelios, in both movies.
    • In the second movie, it is explicitly stated that his nigh-indestructibility is the reason why various people are interested in his organs. More specifically, one very special one...
    • Lampshaded by the second film's promotional tagline: "Anyone else would be so dead by now..."
    • And the Chinese prostitute, who gets hit by a car and survives.
  • Making Love in All the Wrong Places: In both movies, Cheelios and his girlfriend have sex in public to keep him alive.
  • Man on Fire: Chev, at the end of the second movie.
  • Medium Awareness (/ Breaking the Fourth Wall): Following his gunfight escape at the beginning of High Voltage, Chev casually walks up to the last mook standing... whistling his own theme song.
  • Memetic Badass: Chev appears to be one of these in-universe, to judge from the other characters' reactions to him. On the down side, that's exactly the reason why the Triads stole his heart in the first place.
  • Mighty Whitey and Mellow Yellow: Throughout High Voltage Bai Ling's character (Ria) is determined to fulfill this trope after Chev accidentally saves her from a bad guy. Chev's lack of interest in her doesn't seem to matter.
    "He my Kevin Costner!"
  • MST3K Mantra: Invoked in-universe in the beginning of the second film. A news reporter (de Lancie) comments on the implausibility of someone (Verona) falling from the sky randomly being "bullshit". His words.
  • No One Could Survive That: Arguably the endings of both movies. The fact that Ricky Verona survived... um, sort of would probably also count.
  • Noodle Incident: Much of the dialogue in the first movie implies that it's not the first time Chev went into an adrenaline fueled rampage. Special mention goes to his coke dealer Orlando implying that it's not the first time Chev fought with his gang on a coke rage.
    Chev: I know what I'm have to do.
    Orlando: I'm going to have to kick some black ass.
    *Fight ensues.*
    Orlando: Not again.
  • "Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization: His girlfriend wasn't exactly willing with the public sex at first... and promptly developed a fetish for it in the second movie.
  • Now It's My Turn: In the sequel - Chev's electric heart starts running out when a bunch of cops hogpile on him... then one of them brings out a stun gun.
  • One-Man Army: About 5 seconds after entering a whore house full of gangsters, every last one is tossed out a window or through a wall where a window isn't available.
  • Pet the Dog: Chev's behavior toward Eve, his girlfriend and arguably the doctor.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Fuck you, Chelios!"
  • Product Placement: Of all things, the heart. Chev's artificial heart is an actual thing, and they used the real name and company. They changed it up a bit for the movie, obviously (the real one doesn't have external batteries, but does have recharger ports), but the fact that it survives all the crap Chev puts it through and comes out whole at the end could be considered the ultimate (albeit heavily fictionalized) endorsement.
    • Google Maps is used during transitions on occasion.
  • Professional Killer: Chelios' job.
  • Rasputinian Death: Chelios... twice.
  • Rated M for Manly: As a review on Cracked puts it: "If you piled all the guns in the world on one side of a room and Crank on the other, Crank would still be the manliest thing in the room."
  • Red Herring: Johhny Vang's cooler in "High Voltage"
  • Refuge in Audacity: Mostly the second film.
  • Rule of Cool: Very, very little in either film makes any sense, or has any kind of genuine believability. Fortunately, it doesn't need any, either.
  • Sequel Hook: In the first movie, where Chelios opens his eyes after seemingly have died for the eleventieth time, and in the second movie, where he does it again.
  • Shout-Out: There's a random giant rubber monster movie segment at one point in High Voltage.
  • Throw Away Guns: Chelios acts like an FPS protagonist, dropping guns and swapping them for whatever dead mooks are carrying when his current weapon runs dry.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Chelios, in the second movie. One of the taglines is actually "He was dead... but he got better"
  • Unreliable Narrator: The creators mention in the commentary for the first film that everything that happens after Chev drinks the "plant shit" drug may not have actually happened, at least not the way the viewer sees it.
  • The Unreveal: "What kind of sick freak carries something like that around in a box?"
  • Villain Protagonist: Played with, Chelios is a hitman, but his villainy is donwplayed in the context of the movie.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: In the second film, we get the lovely scene of a woman puking directly onto the camera.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: What the hell was in Johnny Vang's cooler? It's probably for the best that no one found out...
  • Why Won't You Die?
  • Willing Suspension of Disbelief: And you're going to need it for both movies.
  • Wouldn't Shoot a Girl: Chev has little problem beating the shit out of and possibly killing cops, but merely threatens the lone female cop to make her keep her distance while he's recharging/escaping. The only time he actually does injury to a female is completely by accident, when he sets the Asian hooker on fire by hugging her while hallucinating... um, and on fire.
  • Yellow Face: David Carradine as Poon Dong.
  • Your Mime Makes It Real:
    • Subverted during the final confrontation. Chevy "fires" a Finger Gun to one of his enemies lackeys, only for the guy to get a Boom, Headshot. Turns out The Cavalry has arrived (one of them shot the guy) and are helping him because of an Enemy Mine situation.
    • Played straight in Crank 2; Chev points his finger and a guy's head explodes... although this time there's no cavalry providing support. The dumbfounded expression on Chev's face shows this came as a surprise to him too.
  • Your Princess Is in Another Castle: "This is not my fucking pumper!"

Alternative Title(s):

Crank High Voltage