Funny / Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Per troping policy, all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!

Game

• When you talk to the house leaders at the beginning of the game, you are given the option to learn more about the students in their respective houses. Whereas Edelgard and Dimitri say mostly good things about their classmates, Claude usually accompanies his descriptions with some choice remarks:
  • Hilda:
    Claude: If you look up 'lazy' in the dictionary... her picture won't be there because she never got around to submitting it.
  • Lorenz:
    Claude: He's really devoted and honest... Though I wouldn't mind never hearing him talk about his noble obligations ever again.
  • Lysithea:
    Claude: But watch out! She gets aaangry if you treat her like a child. As for me, I do it on purpose. You have to make your own fun in this place, you know?
  • Not that everyone else is immune to snark; when overviewing Hubert, Edelgard says he can come off as cold and rude at first glance... because he is. She also bluntly admits that Ferdinand's competitiveness toward her is rather irritating and makes an offhand remark about his family being too proud of their status.
  • Dimitri's no exception, either. He's outwardly the nicest and most polite of the three Lords, but even he gets a bit embarrassed as he talks about Sylvain being a "skirt-chaser," and mentions how Annette caused an explosion in the kitchen.
• Manuela introduces herself with this gem:
  Manuela: I'm a physician, a songstress, and available.
  • Even funnier is that, when given the prompt to respond, Byleth will only be interested in Manuela's career as a physician or songstress. And if you're male and go to her room later, she will teasingly suggest it was for a tryst.
    Manuela: I do love a man who knows what he wants. Lock the door.
  • Talking to Manuela in the monastery throughout Part I results in her discussing multiple disastrous dates.
• You can look up the ages of your party members. While some are deliberately vague, Manuela's simply says "Secret".
• The way the in-game tutorials are set up leads to the amusing image of Byleth's students teaching them how to lecture them.
• In Chapter 2's monastery exploration, Dorothea mentions that her undershirt blew away. If you talk to Caspar afterward, he'll mention finding a cloth that's great for wiping up sweat. Byleth's Stunned Silence is funnier than anything they could say.
• Returning lost items can be quite funny and revealing of personality. Sylvain managed to lose a tube of lipstick (a gift for the next girl to catch his eye), Caspar misplaced his tattered overcoat (which he never wears anyway), Manuela left her hangover remedy in her office, Bernadetta freaked out over leaving her needlework directly outside her door, several students misplace an object 20 feet away from them. The real kicker is during the fishing tourney, Raphael somehow not only misplaces a burlap sack filled to the brim with rocks; it's also in the dining hall, where Raph spends most of his time.
  • One of the early game missing items is Dorothea's underwear, which Caspar is unknowingly using as a sweat rag. Byleth can only stare uncomfortably at the realization and decide it's best to not tell either of them what happened.
  • Most notably, one of Seteth's lost items is a quill pen... which is found literally in the same room, right there in front of him.
  • Claude can leave his poison bottle on the desk of Lorenz. While returning it doesn't get a funny reaction from Byleth, the fact that Claude misplaced the item and the fact that the intended target was Lorenz...
• A student can request different focuses, and sometimes, the reasoning can be rather funny. Take, for instance, Sylvain requesting to study Faith magic because he heard that girls like it. In fact, the majority of Sylvain's requests for different focuses is about impressing girls (well, until the time skip hits where he tones it down a lot).
  • Even after the timeskip, if Sylvain requests to study magic, his comment is rather amusing.
    Sylvain: I want to study reason and faith. What, surprised? Hey, I may be rough around the edges, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a little magic!
  • Petra states that she is proficient with swords and bows while being an expert at moving stealthily, but she is worried that people would brand her a Thief (a class that specializes in those things). Even more amusing is that Thief is her default class option.
  • Students will often suggest goals to you based upon what they are excelling in or will suggest a "class" for them to want to excel in. Humorously, they may sometimes come up and suggest to you the exact same goals you have already laid out for them!
• Rhea is a potential instructor for Byleth in free time segments. Among the skills she can teach sound like what an Archbishop would teach (Swords, Reason, and Faith). The last one? Brawling. Basically, a graceful and dainty-looking woman can teach Byleth how to effectively punch someone.^note That said, this also serves as Foreshadowing for the fact that Rhea is Seiros, who'd beaten Nemesis into submission in hand-to-hand combat before performing the coup de grace with a dagger.
  • You can actually teach your otherwise petite and feminine students this skill. Meaning Marianne, Annette, Bernadetta, or Sothis help you, Mercedes can learn how to use Good Old Fisticuffs. The kicker here is that while Marianne and Bernadetta have a brawling weakness... Annette and Mercedes don't.
• The cross-house battles have some rather funny moments.
  • Before the battle, on the Black Eagles route, Edelgard has a rather amusing insult toward Dimitri and Claude, when Claude asks if he can join their strategy meeting.
    Edelgard: Simply tell me your weaknesses, and you're welcome to stay. But is there enough time to cover them all?
  • During the very first fight, Claude will attempt to distract Dimitri by accusing him of having a crush on Edelgard. It doesn't work.
  • If fighting against the Golden Deer in the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion, Lorenz will boast about his skills and charge ahead towards your side. Claude sounds annoyed at this and can only comment about how it isn't exactly the smartest plan.
    • Fighting with the Golden Deer, this person becomes Caspar (or Ferdinand) of the Black Eagles, and Edelgard is both resigned and exasperated that things aren't going off well.
  • If Edelgard and Claude get into a fight, Claude tells Edelgard a rat is by her feet, causing Edelgard to scream in shock and back off. Claude is surprised by this, and admits that he didn't think she'd actually fall for it and that she'd be scared. (This becomes Harsher in Hindsight when you learn just why Edelgard hates rats, though.)
  • If you choose the Golden Deer, leading into the Battle of Eagle and Lion, Claude will suggest the perfect strategy for victory is to sabotage the other houses by spiking their food to give them food poisoning. When Byleth gives them a serious expression Claude will swear that he was only joking. Though one of the lost items you can find that belongs to Claude after is a vial of poison.
• While most students are understandably horrified the first time they kill, you then have Felix chastising the bandit for not putting up a better fight, Hilda expressing joy despite claiming to have wanted to sit back, and perhaps most surprising, Annette overjoyed at her own power.
  Annette: I did it! See? I'm a great fighter!
• One of Ferdinand's generic quotes when selecting him on the map during battle is a plain "I am Ferdinand von Aegir" in English. In Japanese, however, it is a very hammy "WAGA NA WA... FERDINAND... VON... AEEEEEGIR!"^note Waga is an archaic and extremely pompous and pretentious way to refer to oneself that has no equivalent in English. One very famous and memetic similar example is from Konosuba when Megumin introduces herself.
• The fact that anyone can use any weapon can create some funny moments. Shrinking Violet Bernadetta can use gauntlets and Squishy Wizard Marianne can use axes.
• The White Heron Cup: a big dance competition between the houses occurring just before Not-Christmas. Over half of your students will beg you not to pick them, leading to some hilarious panicked lines. You can still pick anyone to represent your house, and there is nothing stopping you from picking someone probably not too well-suited for dancing, like Dedue, Raphael, or Hubert. Bonus points if you actually managed to get their Charm level high enough to actually win the contest, to which they react appropriately.
  Hubert: I am not sure the judges are in their right minds...
  Raphael: Me? Uh...really?
  Caspar: I won? I won! How did I win?!
  Dedue: Is this a joke?
  • The reward for winning the White Heron Cup is the ability for your representative to become a Dancer. That means you could have any of your students be your Dancer. Including the aforementioned Dedue, Raphael, and Hubert.
  • Dimitri in particular begs for Byleth not to choose him for the representative. Then, when actually chosen…
    Dimitri: WHAT?! Curse you, Professor. I will of course accept, but know that you have damned us all.
    • This makes for some unintentional Narm territory come the Time Skip where Dimitri is in full feral boar mode, yet can still be in his Dancer class. This means you can have Dimitri talking about killing every last one of them one minute, then dancing to support an ally the next.
  • Claude, when approached about the competition, comments about the poor schmuck chosen to be the house representative. Again, nothing is stopping you from making him your representative…
    Claude: Me? Don't be unreasonable, Teach! Ugh… I mean, if I have to make a miracle happen, I guess I'll figure it out…
  • The mechanics can also make the competition a riot. If you manage to empty out the other houses, only the non-recruitables are left to enter the competition. Since the mechanics allow for one judge to frequently vote for someone else no matter how superior your entrant's Charm is, you can have hilarious results such as Dedue being voted more charming than Edelgard.
  • Bernadetta will freak out at the possibility of being chosen, and be relieved if you don't choose her. When you pick her, she will ask if you deliberately chose her to humiliate her. In the Japanese version, she says more lines than what's being said on the text box.
  • Marianne's is her going "Wait, what?" if you choose her.
  • The kicker is that you can still get support points when you choose them, even when they practically beg you not to!
  • On the flip side, some students are very enthusiastic about participating, even when you wouldn't expect it of them. Particularly memorable is Caspar, who claims to be an excellent dancer... but due to his poor Charm growth^note 25%, making him only slightly higher than Linhardt, who has the lowest Charm growth at 20%, it's perfectly possible for him to be one of, if not the only student you have who couldn't possibly win even with the free +5 boost to Charm that representatives get if you tutor them in dancing.
  • Another hilarious example is Lorenz, whom is quite eager to show his stuff at the White Heron Cup. Thing is, Lorenz has the lowest base Charm stat of any character, a pitiful 3, and his growth in the same is merely okay. This means that like with Caspar, it's entirely possible for Lorenz's Charm to not be high enough to win the competition even with the boost if you got particularly unlucky with the Random Number God.
  • If you decide to ask Flayn if she wants to participate in the White Heron Cup, Byleth notably sports a smile in the dialogue boxes when deciding if they settled on a candidate, as opposed to the neutral expression that they use for the other students. While it is supposed to be heartwarming that Byleth is happy for Flayn's excitement, it becomes funny if you interpret their smile as Byleth somehow became aware of gameplay mechanics and knows that Flayn's base Charm stat is already past the threshold of winning the White Heron Cup, making their smile look as if they are confident and guaranteed to win.
  • While most characters will be apologetic or embarrassed if they lose the White Heron Cup, Felix will be somewhat smug about it, as if Byleth got exactly what they deserved for picking him when he didn't want to enter.
• When you fight your first Demonic Beast, you get a tutorial by Sothis on how to deal with monsters. One option asks "How'd You Learn This Anyway?" Picking it leads to Sothis yelling at Byleth to stop talking and fight the monster already.
• Some of the combinations when you assign students chores can produce absolutely hilarious results.
  • Assigning Edelgard and Ferdinand if they have a C support or less has Edelgard question why you would do so, causing Ferdinand to question if Edelgard thinks lowly of him. She bluntly states that she does.
  • Assigning Dedue and Dimitri to weed gardens:
    Dimitri: By the way, sometimes you find edible plants among the weeds.
    Dedue: Please do not eat the weeds.
    Dimitri: I am just saying…
  • Assigning Felix and Ashe to weed the gardens give you this:
    Felix: Just a few weeds. I don't see a big deal.
    Ashe: Don't underestimate weeds. They can swallow a whole building before you know it.
    Felix: That's unbelievable. That's literally unbelievable.
  • When you assign the usual partners Catherine and Shamir, you get this.
    Catherine: Here we are, two proud knights, pulling up weeds. Why can't I just use Thunderbrand to zap 'em?
    Shamir: A weed must be cut at its root, just like tyranny and vice.
    Catherine: Yikes. Never mind, you're no fun at all.
  • Assigning Hanneman and Lysithea together results in Hanneman going into full Parental Substitute mode and tries to have her let him do it. Lysithea can only get annoyed at this, with Hanneman coming across as a My Beloved Smother.
  • Lorenz and Ferdinand has Lorenz proudly proclaiming he will take care of it, to which Ferdinand agrees to allow him to do so he can demonstrate "ideal nobility". If the pair don't do well, Lorenz apologizes while Ferdinand chastises him for his performance.
  • If you have Hanneman and Manuela working on a Group Task together after they reach Support Rank A, they'll agree to try and bury the hatchet together to finish the job. But if they end up with a "Good" performance, the lowest rank…
    Manuela: Hey, Hanneman! I thought we were supposed to bury the hatchet.
    Hanneman: You're the one who buried the hatchet, woman. In my back! I did my level best to keep things going.
  • Having Sylvain work with Ingrid for a Group Task will result in Sylvain collapsing on the floor, complaining about being overworked.
  • Dimitri and Sylvain Stable Duties.
  • Yuri and Bernadetta doing weed removal, or any other tasks together, is nothing short of hilarious; especially when he imitates her voice. The best indeed.
• Normally, recruiting students from other houses requires some stats and proficiency to be raised, but if you play as Female Byleth and attempt to recruit Sylvain, he asks to join your house immediately, regardless of stats. No, seriously.
• In the Crimson Flower route where Manuela is recruited (prior to the update that added Jeritza as a playable unit), she talks about how she learned the Death Knight was a general in the Adrestian Empire. Still angry about how he stabbed her five years ago, she marched up to him and told him who she was and what he did… and then he apologized, sincerely and heartfeltly. She admits the settlement of the grudge was a bit of a letdown after all this time.
• Shortly after defeating the Alliance on the Crimson Flower route, there is a scene where Byleth is walking by the dorms and hears a shriek. Said shriek is coming from Edelgard after seeing a rat in her room. Byleth has a few dialogue options that let you troll her by talking about how cute it is, with Edelgard getting more wound up each time they call her cute. The scene only gets funnier when Byleth notices a portrait (of them) sitting on her table, and Edelgard starts to panic. She makes up a poor excuse for them to leave, only to give up when they note how they already saw the picture and starts using her Imperial authority to demand that they forget what they saw.
• Later in the Crimson Flower storyline, Edelgard will hole up in one of the second-floor dormitories... because she painted the aforementioned portrait of Byleth during the five years they were missing and now that they're back she's super embarrassed about it, though she tries to claim it's because the portrait just isn't very good. She flat-out orders Byleth not to come in.
  • What it is even funnier is that the option to do Advanced Drills with her is still available, meaning you can imagine Edelgard practicing with/tutoring you in axes… while still holed up inside her room.
• Speaking of Crimson Flower, the sheer Black Comedy in the fact that you can still celebrate Saint Seiros Day on that route.
• A paralogue after the timeskip for Edelgard has Hilda's older brother Holst requesting help after a force of Almyran soldiers attacked a mountain path called Fódlan's Locket. After the battle, it turns out Holst couldn't defend the pass because he got food poisoning from eating bad mushrooms and was too sickly to issue commands. Edelgard has a Stunned Silence reaction at how utterly mundane of an issue it was before stating she should go visit him. Which is followed up with her trying to will herself to go visit him before giving up due to a fear of getting sick after thinking over how disgusting it would look. But if Byleth expresses a desire to go take a look themselves, she insists that they do so that she can get to know what it looked like out of morbid curiosity.
• Once you know the Flame Emperor's true identity, watching their Not So Above It All moments out of costume takes on a double dose of hilarity (for example, seeing Fódlan's most dangerous terrorist get tricked into freaking out over a rat or complain about being paired on an assignment with a classmate she doesn't like).
• Duke Aegir, Ferdinand's father. He has an appearance similar to Oliver, another corrupt noble from the Tellius duology.
• When visiting Bernadetta at her room in Chapter 5, her greeting is to scream "I'm not secretly eating cake!". You can literally hear her swallow the cake right beforehand.
• Lorenz has the most hilarious choir practice line which really must be heard in its full glory.
• The introduction to Silver Snow. Byleth has just been made aware that they have been asleep for five years, and had a tense fight with Edelgard. Seteth barges in just as Edelgard leaves, aghast to see Byleth after all these years...and Byleth can respond with a charming smile and a casual wave. Juxtaposed against the tense atmosphere mere moments before, it's frankly hilarious, as is Seteth's response, where he almost seems to briefly forget that he's talking to someone who he hasn't seen in five years.
  • The three lords all react at least surprised when Byleth told them they spent the last five years asleep. Seteth? He basically goes "Oh well, I guess that can't be helped." Flayn acts similarly nonchalant about the situation. Justified considering that sleeping for years at a time to heal is perfectly normal for their species, but still rather unexpected for the human player. Should Byleth be unsure of their answer when Flayn asks where they were sleeping, then Flayn will just casually note that it's okay to not remember since it was their "first" long sleep, to which Byleth can only reply with a confused "..." reaction.
• Meeting Randolph and Ladislava on Crimson Flower, if you played any other route. On Crimson Flower they will compliment you for joining the Empire all while you know that you killed them on the other routes.
• There's something rather amusing about what happens to "those who slither in the dark" on the Azure Moon route: They lose their infiltrators to Garreg Mach, the members they had occupying Faerghus and helping Edelgard, Edelgard herself, and their leader Thales. All of their plans in Fódlan that they've been working on for years are completely derailed. But that's not the funny part. The funny part is that, unlike every other route, Dimitri and company are never really aware of them as an enemy faction. Given that they serve as the Climax Boss on several other routes, it's decidedly amusing to realize that they ended up as the Unknown Rival to Dimitri.
• Similarly, Acheron's demise on the Azure Moon route. He teleports in with a bunch of reinforcements after the player advances further into the map, but given that he's a Squishy Wizard who likely just teleported right into the middle of your army, it's very likely that he'll die minutes after spawning. His battle quote almost feels self-aware, too:
  Acheron: As they say, if you can't beat them, join them. I'm not in for a beating, am I?
  • It is entirely possible to end Lorenz's paralogue in one turn if you have Lysithea or Linhardt Warp your strongest unit and watch them utterly wreck his shit in one hit.
  • Claude's interactions with Acheron are quite amusing. If you have Claude fight Acheron in Lorenz' paralogue, Claude will remark about how a "good-for-nothing" inherited the territory, infuriating Acheron and prompting him to call Claude the "good-for-nothing", apparently unaware that he's talking to the future leader of the Alliance. In Chapter 16 of Verdant Wind, as Acheron contemptuously talks about the "declining Alliance," Claude points out that Acheron's own castle is burning, just to the north of the bridge, courtesy of said Alliance.
  • If you recruited Lorenz to the Black Eagles and have him confront Acheron during Chapter 13 of Crimson Flower, he will express his surprise to see Acheron again before feeling sorry that he hadn't picked a better opponent:
    Lorenz: Acheron! What a pleasant surprise! I was concerned I might have to kill someone decent.
• Gameplay and Story Segregation can be Played for Laughs thanks to the player's actions and the fact that units can be customized skill-wise to their liking:
  • Claude, during his support arc with Marianne, will tell her "Just because your ancestors were thieves, does that mean you're a thief too, even if you've never stolen anything?" It's possible for the player to decide to up Marianne's sword skills and class her into a thief... meaning Claude is talking to a thief.
  • Hilda mentions she wants to be a support class... but her base stats and growths favour a fighter, with a budding talent in heavy armour. So she will spend several supports asking not to be on the front lines when she's an ideal front-line fighter.
    • It's also rather hilarious that the woman whose growths, talents, and base stats will favor you turning her into a terrifying bloodsoaked whirlwind of destruction with a higher kill count than everyone in Golden Deer except Byleth and maybe Claude keeps insisting that she's a fragile delicate noblewoman who would only be a liability on the battlefield. (Note that this isn't necessarily a case of Gameplay and Story Segregation, as Hilda is a very obvious case of Brilliant, but Lazy. Still funny due to the dissonance between her attitude and her abilities, though.)
  • Mercedes and Dimitri's C support is about how Mercedes is... not very good with swords. At all. However, you can make Mercedes into a sword-fighting class who is probably better with swords than Dimitri is, and they will act like she's clumsy.
  • Bernadetta's base class favours archer — befitting of her personality. But you can decide to reclass her into a front-line fighter.
  • You can have Marianne go from being a support Squishy Wizard to a full-on massive tank if you turn her into an Armor Knight, and then a Fortress Knight if you choose to sacrifice her magic skills for a more physical one.
  • Linhardt's growths favor him as a magic user, especially as a healer, to keep off the front lines. But again, nothing is stopping you from making him, say, a Brawler and then a Grappler, or if you're absolutely sadistic, a War Master. You can even make him an Assassin, and thus have a person who dislikes violence capable of doing one hit kills for more irony. Heck, the guy who complains about and loathes killing could very well end up as one of your best physical fighters with a high body count, if you so choose.
  • There is something particularly funny and amusing about turning your Squishy Wizards into powerful front-line fighters. The same can be said for turning your Magically Inept Fighters into competent spell casters. Provided that you put in some effort, it is entirely possible for units such as Mercedes, Flayn, and even Linhardt becoming some of your best front-line physical fighter, while units such as Dimitri, Petra, or even Raphael could be your some of your best mages and healers.
    • In Alois and Hanneman's support chain, the former asks the latter to teach him some magic; Alois complains that the other knights made fun of him for his lack of Crest and magical skills; by their B support, he has not made any progress in magic. Yet, it is entirely possible for Alois to already be casting spells as a mage, bonus points if he ends up being a more competent spellcaster than Hanneman himself.
  • To an extent, promoting your big, burly units (Dedue, Gilbert, Raphael, Balthus) or verbally boisterous units (Caspar, Alois) into Assassins can qualify as this. Seeing your big heavy guys performing acrobatic flips and spins while in battle and your loud and flamboyant guys in a class that is supposed to be the epitome of a sneaky and discreet killer can elicit an amusing response.
  • Promoting some characters into Brawlers or Grapplers can be a glorious sight to behold. Yes, even your slender Squishy Wizards (Hubert, Linhardt, Lorenz, Hanneman) and Fragile Speedsters (Ashe, Ignatz) can be hiding a hunky mass of muscle under their clothes this entire time.
• Failing an exam will usually get the student in question to make disappointed remarks about trying. Lysithea, however, thinks otherwise.
  Lysithea: Failed? It's due to your poor judgement!
• In the Azure Moon route, during the ball when you meet Dimitri outside, you have the option of asking him "[isn't he] going to dance with Edelgard or Claude?". If you pick Claude, he finds it Actually Pretty Funny.
• On the Verdant Wind route, after taking the Great Bridge of Myrddin, Byleth meets Claude and Judith's retainer, "Nardel". He jovially greets Claude with, "Is that you, kiddo?" After Claude clears his throat, he backpedals and issues an unconvincing apology by explaining that he mistook Claude for one of the local children.
• Some of the Critical quotes qualify for this.
  Petra: You will be slapped down!
  Hilda: You're making me work!
• Just the fact that Hilda is apparently the only character to note that Hero's Relics like hers pulsate as if they are alive and that she finds them gross. This becomes unintentional Black Comedy with knowledge of what the relics actually are.
• Hacking the game allows you to carry out monastery activities with units that aren't meant to be player-controlled, including having teatime with the Death Knight. This becomes Hilarious in Hindsight after the Wave 3 DLC, where the Death Knight, or more appropriately, Jeritza/Emile, does enjoy teatime and sweets.
• Sometimes, sharing a meal leads to hilarious exchanges.
  • If you choose to share a meal with Dimitri and Dedue, this exchange happens:
    Dedue: Mmm.
    Dimitri: Remember this, Professor. That look on Dedue's face means he thinks the food is good.
  • If sharing a meal with Raphael and Ignatz after the timeskip, Raphael will be going for seconds while Ignatz remarks that they just started eating. He even asks how Raphael managed to "magic away the firsts".
  • Felix's sharing a meal line is unintentionally funny. When sharing a meal, he says "That looks appetizing." in a very cheery manner which is in hilarious contrast to his attitude and tone everywhere else in the game (usually mild annoyance or anger).
• The paralogues against the Wind Caller and The Immovable have Flayn, who is their niece, basically tell them to shut up when they try to casually talk to her when she faces them in battle in fear of them revealing her true identity as Cethleann. Which is funny for the Wind Caller, as he basically told the other characters, including his own brother Seteth, to leave him alone or die, but he reverts to a doting uncle when he meets Flayn.
• In Dorothea and Ingrid's paralogue: Dorothea proposes they investigate another one of Ingrid's would-be suitors to gauge his character, cue the start of the paralogue where your party is suddenly in a land surrounded by melting lava!
• In The Immovable's paralogue, Linhardt, after telling about the special weapon in Lake Teutates, falls asleep before Leonie and Byleth can set off. Because they can't wake him up, Leonie ends up proposing Byleth carry Linhardt to the lake. Byleth expresses they do not want to lug him for the entire trip, so Leonie suggests that everyone take turns carrying Linhardt instead. The best part is that Linhardt slept through the entire trip to the lake, since he only wakes up once the Paralogue actually begins, implying the army really did have to take turns carrying him. The scene also features the following exchange when Leonie tells Byleth they should get going:
  Leonie: What's with that look? Don't you want to help your lovely students?
  Byleth: "Lovely"?
  Leonie: Yeah. Me and Linhardt. Aren't we just the cutest?
• When facing Macuil in the Wind Caller paralogue, you get extra dialogue if you have Claude fight the boss. Macuil will sense the bloodline of the Ten Elites and question who Claude is. The latter responds proudly at first that “[he’s] the grandson of the grandson...” but then starts hesitating how far his ancestry to Riegan goes before throwing in one last shaky “grandson” and recomposing himself as if nothing went wrong.
• After completing the Wind Caller's paralogue, Claude wonders about how they couldn't find any evidence of Macuil in Sreng and laughs off the possibility that the Wind Caller was a transformed Macuil. Which is hilarious because said Wind Caller had the Crest Stone of Macuil that Claude actually noticed and commented on and yet still failed to consider the idea the Wind Caller is Macuil.
  • And speaking of the Wind Caller, once you defeat him, he falls asleep. Claude feels that it's kind of anti-climatic, but goes to look for any treasure he can find.
• Before the assault on Fort Merceus, if you have Bernadetta on the team and agree with her that it's going to be annoying, she gets overjoyed, tries to hug Byleth, and promptly slams into her own closed door.
• On the finale of the Crimson Flower route, if you kill Annette while Gilbert is alive, he will charge through patches of fire as fast as his class allows. It's... oddly funny, though also sad when you consider what you just did...
• The sheer Mood Whiplash of the end of Blue Lions Chapter 11. Dimitri has just found out the Flame Emperor's identity and had a massive Freak Out, and then the game goes, "You protected the Crest Stones! You got a bunch of stuff! Dimitri is the MVP!"
• Every recruitable character has their own way of asking to join Byleth or responding to them asking. Some can be quite amusing, especially with excitable or bombastic characters. Catherine, for instance, says the following. Doubly funny since in her first support with them, she states Byleth isn't that good-looking.
  Catherine: Hey, professor. You're good-looking, you know that? At the same time you look like someone who was born to fight. I bet we'd get along. I'm also good-looking and born to fight, heh! Need any help with your class?
• Annette enjoys cleaning. Her Relic grants her the unique Combat Art Dust.
• In the monastery during the Black Eagles version of Chapter 5, Hubert gets in a hilarious snide remark at the Knights of Seiros' expense.
  Hubert: For House Gautier to invite us on to their land, they must be desperate. But at least we'll have the stalwart knights ready to stand around and watch us do all the work.
• In chapter 18 of Verdant Wind, while talking about disguise plans with Hilda at monastery exploration, the two choices that you can choose to say involves dressing Hilda as Edelgard, or dress Claude as a woman. The fact that Byleth even suggested these choices to start with makes them come off as Not So Above It All underneath their stoic front during this moment.
  • Not to mention, Claude is actually in the same room as Hilda was right at this very chapter. He might not say anything about the choice Byleth would pick, but one has to wonder what is running through his head when he hears Byleth's suggestions...
• Talking to Dorothea during the exploration stage of an early Verdant Wind/Silver Snow chapter has her trying to imitate the Gatekeeper's catchphrase in a cheeky manner.
• In the shared paralogue between Caspar and Mercedes, she charges ahead once she hears the Death Knight/Emile, her brother, is nearby. The paralogue starts with her begging him not to run, and the whole thing is sweet yet melancholic... until Caspar comes rushing in panting badly, wondering how Mercedes can run that fast and demanding a fight with the Death Knight, who simply stands in silence.
• If you manage to complete Mercedes and Caspar's paralogue in the right way, and have Caspar finish off the Death Knight, you will earn his scythe... which you could then use against him.
• Some of the seminars you can get have rather amusing descriptions.
  • Ferdinand: "Begin a seminar on a fighting style using sword and lance skills that all nobles should be adept in."
  • Caspar: "Begin a seminar on how to win arguments and gain the upper hand in one-on-one combat, or how to give it your all on the battlefield."
  • Sylvain: "Begin a seminar on fighting style that incorporates flashy techniques and evocative poses and always draws attention."
  • Raphael: "Begin a seminar on a fighting style that focuses on dominating the enemy with pure, strong, well-fed muscle."
  • Jeritza: "Begin a seminar on sword and lance techniques that are considered the best throughout the Empire. No talking permitted."
  • Anna: "Begin a seminar on sword and bow skills learned through unavoidable confrontations in the life of a business entrepreneur."
• In the Crimson Flower route, after the fall of Derdriu, Dorothea fantasizes about what an opera about Edelgard and Byleth would involve.
  Dorothea: [to a male Byleth] I'm sure you'll be played by the most handsome actor of the time. Hearts will pound as he takes the stage. A diva will play Edie! [chuckles] You'll fall madly in love, even if it isn't historically accurate.
  Dorothea: [to a female Byleth] I'm sure they'll have a talented and beautiful songstress playing you. Probably for Edie as well. I wonder if there'll be romantic tension between your two characters, even if it's not historically accurate?
• One of the new quests that are available following the Wave 3 DLC involves Byleth joining in a tournament to fight against a group of students... why? Because these students believed that Byleth is getting way too cozy and friendly with the students and think that a friendship between a teacher and a student is unacceptable. The participants for the tournament? They're students that have not been recruited by Byleth themselves and they all share the same gender as the Byleth you play as. This comes across as funny to most players as the way the quest started out and the quest dialog makes it seem like the group of students sanctioning this tournament are being petty at how Byleth earned the respect of the students and also gain popularity in such a short time. If you already recruited most of the students to your house by the time this quest is available, then the participating students are nameless NPCs instead, which makes this quest doubly funny.
  • The funny part comes from the fact that it's possible for one of your opponents to be Manuela, of all people, if you play as Female Byleth. You know, the teacher who flirts with anybody? A humorous Irony at its finest.
  • If you play as Male Byleth, Sylvain, and even funnier, Lorenz, can potentially show up as an opponent instead if they haven't been recruited.
• Some of the food preferences in the Dining Hall can be rather telling of personality.
  • Lysithea dislikes vegetable-based dishes, no surprise there. However, there's another character that dislikes vegetables: Felix! ^note The only vegetable-related dish he doesn't dislike is the Onion Gratin Soup, which is also fish-based, and he's simply neutral on it. In fact, Felix is actually somewhat of a Picky Eater.
  • The Pickled Seafood and Vegetables dish is described as a Dagdan dish. The one playable Dagdan, Shamir, is indifferent towards it.
  • Dimitri has no sense of taste, but enjoys cheese-based dishes. The only item he actually dislikes is Peach Sorbet. Presumably, he doesn't like the brainfreeze.
  • Ferdinand is surprisingly not picky, only disliking the Cheesy Verona Stew, Pickled Seafood and Vegetables, Gautier Cheese Gratin, and Cabbage and Herring Stew, which are all considered "bitter" foods.
  • The Gautier Cheese Gratin is described as having a "unique flavor." It has the most dislikes of any food that isn't the Small Fish Skewers ^note Only Jeritza and Hapi like it. or Fried Crayfish. ^note Only Anna and Hapi like it. Sylvain Jose Gautier, like Shamir and the Pickled Seafood and Vegetables, is indifferent towards it.
• When you unlock Anna's shop in the monastery late into the game, you get this message when you select the message about the days the store is open:
  Anna's shop is open on this day! Why? Because it's her shop and she can open it whenever she pleases, thank you very much.
• The one time Felix actually agrees with Dimitri on anything? Considering the Ethereal Ball Moon a heavy burden.
• The Dark Merchant sounds like a really jolly fellow, which is in contrast to his uniform and name. Only in the English dub, however ^note The dark merchant has a more foreboding and serious tone in the Japanese dub of the game.
• Before visiting the Holy Tomb in part one, there is one more weekend and week of class. On the Black Eagles route, you can invoke Mood Whiplash by going with Edelgard to watch her crowning on the weekend and then immediately afterwards setting her up to do a group activity like weeding.
• If Byleth stays too long in the sauna they get dizzy and apparently pass out. For some time afterward when exploring the monastery Byleth will have red skin and steam will rise off their body.
• While it's as sad as losing any other unit, Catherine's death quote is also unintentionally funny in a meta sense. The quote goes like this: "If I die here, you must save..." Presumably, she's telling you to save someone (probably Rhea), but gets cut off by death. However, if you read it as a full complete sentence, it's hilarious because it sounds like she's asking you to save the game when you're likely to be doing the exact opposite (reloading your last save) instead.
• Rhea — being a giant, powerful, unhinged, ancient dragon — is scary in the Crimson Flower route. Her roar, however, is not. While it does power up enemies, it also just sounds like Rhea shouting the word "Roar" in her normal voice.
• Cyril's Monastery conversation during the final chapter of part one on every route except Crimson Flower is darkly hilarious. He wonders why anyone would think Rhea is the bad guy, citing that she's always been nice to everyone. This is merely his idolization of her though, as some of Rhea's actions during part one clearly show she is far from always nice, as does Rhea herself when she tells Byleth in one of their supports that her position means she must at times be "stern" in words and actions.
• If you have recruited Raphael on the Crimson Flower route, he will have the exact same dialogue during the exploration before you attempt to take the Kingdom Capital. Which consists mostly of pumped up shouting (and, in Caspar's case, wondering if he's said that line before. He has.)
• Speaking of Raphael and Caspar, the two are the only ones who apparently do not know that Edelgard is planning on attacking Arianrhod before Fhirdiad, and the latter is the only one of the Black Eagles who is out of the loop^note Other characters mention the attack on Fhirdiad, but Constance's dialogue suggests that some of them are pretending to fool any potential spies. When Byleth doesn't say anything, the two wonder why Byleth's reacting that way, whether it's because Byleth doesn't think they should be excited (Caspar) or because they're not yelling loudly enough (Raphael).
• Basically anytime Hubert laughs. At times it can be creepy but most of the time it's so over the top that you'll find yourself laughing too.
• An early scene on the Blue Lions route has Byleth and Dimitri run into Edelgard and Manuela. Dimitri is very polite and cordial towards Edelgard while she, meanwhile, acts very cold towards him. One of Byleth's dialogue options is to ask if it's "puppy love." Dimitri laughs at this and says that it's Actually Pretty Funny. (It becomes Harsher in Hindsight later on after his relationship with Edelgard is explained in more detail.)
• Dimitri during chapter 12 can be unintentionally amusing. During his Monastery Conversation, he's angrily calling for Edelgard's head, clearly having gone off the deep end, but if you do any activities with him, he's back to polite, cheery Dimitri, with not a hint of mental instability.
• Toward the end of the Silver Snow route Seteth is surprised to find out Byleth already knew about Rhea not being a human, but accepts it and begins to explain more about the Nabatea, using himself as an example. The funny part comes when Byleth reacts in surprise that Seteth is also one of the Nabatea, Seteth remarking that he thought it should have been obvious he and Flayn are kin to Rhea.
• In the Golden Deer route, if you don't figure out the enemy's goal before the Goddess's Rite of Rebirth, Claude says that he prowled around the monastery pretending to be the enemy and calls himself "Master Thief Claude." He also says he found a sealed coffin in the Holy Mausoleum, which means he somehow managed to get in and out of there without getting caught. The actual thieves are waiting until the Goddess's Rite of Rebirth because it's easier to get into the Holy Mausoleum then.
• Linhardt and Catherine's support features Linhardt constantly asking about getting to use Thunderbrand For Science!, which the latter adamantly refuses to allow. Nothing is stopping you from taking Thunderbrand from Catherine and letting Linhardt wield it in battle.
• Sometimes, if you time it right, you'll recruit someone into your house while Hilda has a word balloon over her head asking, "This again?"

Supports

• In Sylvain's C Support with Ingrid, she reminds him of the time he hit on her grandmother when he was eight, loudly enough for other students to overhear.
  Ingrid: When you were eight, you came on to my sweet, sweet granny! My GRANNY!
  • Sylvain's response to the above does not help the situation when he admits that Ingrid's grandmother was gorgeous.
  • Ingrid also mentions a time where he "Made eyes at that scarecrow", to which Sylvain claims it to be a "Sad and tragic accident."
• This exchange between Linhardt and Dorothea:
  Linhardt: And how necessary is charm? It just gets in the way of living your life.
  Dorothea: If you lack charm, nobody will give you a second glance.
  Linhardt: Right, which means more time for napping.
• Bernadetta is just a walking funny moment in all her supports, thanks to her shyness and nervousness.
  • In her C Support with Ferdinand, she starts having a panic attack while Ferdinand, in his own way, wants to help her get more social. This culminates in her shoving him to the ground and him potentially spraining his wrist. While he doesn't blame her in the slightest, she now worries that she's marked herself as his "eternal rival."
  • In her C Support with Edelgard, she decides to start taking notes on how to be more confident by following the future emperor's example. She decides the best way to do this is to follow her throughout the day. This leaves the usually unflappable Edelgard exasperated.
  • After an otherwise heartwarming C support with Byleth, she descends into panicked denial when Byleth asks if she was singing in the greenhouse the other day. She runs off in embarrassment.
    Bernadetta: Useless! Worthless! Unmarriageable! Augh!
  • In her C Support with Sylvain, he starts praising the book she had written and left behind in the library, but she's so shocked that she left it out in the open she goes catatonic and misses most of his praise. When she finally comes to and runs away, she starts musing she'll have to burn the book and briefly entertains burning him too to get rid of all the evidence before she snaps out of it.
  • In her C Support with Hubert, he tells Bernadetta that there had been a figure walking around in the middle of the night with a needle. When Bernadetta says that she'd been embroidering, Hubert states he suspected as much, and she leaves him no choice. Bernadetta immediately flees, as Hubert slowly gives chase like he's a horror movie villain. When Hubert catches up, he fulfills his duty... to tell her that she shouldn't be running around with that needle or she would poke herself or someone else. Bernadetta is so shocked/terrified that she passes out while standing up, which absolutely bewilders Hubert.
    • It gets even better in her B support with Hubert, whereupon she asks Hubert to stop trying not to scare her because she needs to face her own fears. Hubert obliges and releases the most hilariously over-the-top Evil Laugh possible, scaring Bernie out of her wits and causing her to immediately retract her request.
  • In her C Support with Ingrid, Ingrid tries to get her out of her room in order to attend training. When Bernadetta refuses, Ingrid simply kicks the door down, terrifying Bernadetta into compliance, since if Ingrid is willing to kick a door down just to get at a classmate, what would she do to someone she truly doesn't like?
    Ingrid: Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.
  • In her C Support with Felix, she's so terrified of him that when she sees his sword, she panics and disarms Felix before running away. Felix's response? To watch in awe because he's never seen that technique before. He even approaches her in B support to ask her to teach him what she did. Better yet, it apparently involves "waving her arms around like a madman" for a few seconds.
  • Bernadetta and Raphael's C support starts with Bernadetta trying to play an instrument in the privacy of the greenhouse. She jokingly asks the flowers what they thought of her performance, and is predictably freaked out when she gets a response.
    Bernadetta: Isn't that right, little flower? You're the only one who heard, aren't you? What did you think?
    Raphael: That was amazing!
    Bernadetta: (shrieks) Why's your voice so deep?!
  • Bernadetta and Petra's B rank support. Starting with Bernie lamenting that she is on hunting duty, Until Petra appears and begins to guide her on how to hunt. One such way involves comparing hunting to collecting vegetables, in her own words: "You take the blade in your hand and take the lives of the vegetables". Which results in Bernadetta to panic about being a "Vegetable Murderer". It all seems to look up with Petra's knowledge until the hunting itself. In which Bernie is chased by a RABBIT she is hunting!
    Bernadetta: [in panic] No! stay back! I'm sorry mister rabbit! I didn't mean it! [sobbing] Why are you the one chasing me!? Ow!
  • Bernadetta and Alois' C-support opens with Alois wondering how to approach Bernadetta... only for Bernadetta to talk casually and friendly with him and Alois was so distracted that he didn't realize that Bernadetta had just talked to him.
  • Bernadetta makes a Hurricane of Puns involving her name in her support with Seteth.
    Bernadeta: Bernie's all "Berned" out now. I guess if they're no good, we'll just have to "Bern" 'em all, eh? Heh-heh.
    Seteth: Let's... leave the topic of burning aside for now, shall we?
  • The 1.2.0 update added a new support partner for Bernadetta. Who is it? Jeritza, the Death Knight!
    • Bernadetta somehow manages to get along with him easier than most of the rest of her classmates.
    • In her C support she can't seem to wrap her head around the fact that Jeritza is the same person as "Professor Jeritza" who taught at the school before the timeskip. And then, in her B support she does, as she calls it, "detective work" to find out who Jeritza really is and "discovers" that he's the Death Knight... a fact that, as Jeritza points out, everyone already knew.
    • Bernadetta is afraid of, or intimidated by, pretty much everyone. Jeritza believes he's a threat to pretty much everyone, including his own sister. And yet, Bernadetta walks right up to the Death Knight, and quickly tries to befriend him, claiming they're kindred spirits.
• Ferdinand's and Dorothea's C support starts off with this exchange:
  Ferdinand: Ah, Dorothea! The dining hall seems so much brighter with you here.
  Dorothea: Ferdie! I must say, you are quite adept with flattery. Please, give me some more.
  • And later in the same conversation, it's her bluntness in tone that really sells it:
    Dorothea: You got it right on the first try. I hate you.
• In Mercedes' C support with Byleth, she reveals that she was once in such a hurry to get to the training grounds that she forgot to get dressed.
• Sylvain's C Support with Mercedes has the philanderer actually attempting to make a friend. It's... awkward.
  Sylvain: How do I say this without making myself sound even worse?
  • Their entire support chain is generally emotional, but another hilarious moment comes at the end of their B-support. After confiding in each other how their Crests have ruined their lives, they proceed to joke about the silly fixation their culture has on Crests.
    Mercedes: Oh Sylvain, will you save me from the burdens of having a Crest?!
    Sylvain: Oh, yes! I think I love you, Mercedes, and I mean that! Let's get married and have Crest babies!
    Mercedes: Sure, sure.
  • For more humor with a touch of irony, if you get their paired ending, they do get married, but their oldest child doesn't actually have a Crest.
• Annette, being a Genki Girl hard worker, loves singing silly songs to herself while she's working, which leads to all sorts of hilarity.
  • In their supports, Claude overhears Annette singing about flowers and proceeds to give her a full literary analysis and critique of the song, somehow warping it into a bleak observation of death and mortality. He is genuinely intrigued when she exclaims that her song was only about flowers growing out of the earth.
  • Something similar happens in her supports with Felix, who overhears her singing about food. In their B support he questions her about the song and the dance steps she was doing while singing - because of his naturally sarcastic demeanor, Annette assumes he's mocking her and storms away in a temper, baffling Felix who was genuinely interested.
    Annette: YOU'RE EVIL, FELIX!^note In the Japanese version, she screams "BAKA BAKA BAKA!" at him
• Given how cold Felix can be, it is pretty satisfying when Dedue points out the flaws in his logic. Especially when it manages to get Felix flustered.
  Felix: OK, go ahead, protect me. But if you act like a fool and get yourself killed, I'll kill you.
  Dedue: How can you kill me, if I am already dead?
  Felix: I... You-you know what I meant!
• Flayn and Sylvain's C support has the former accusing the latter of hitting on horses and chickens. She also demands that Sylvain stand ten feet away from her because Seteth told her to stay away from him. She then storms off before he can even deliver the news that Byleth wanted them to meet up, and then desperately tries to get her to come along.
• The gift of fully voiced supports has blessed us with these hilarious gems from Edelgard (Ferdinand C, Byleth A) and Claude (Marianne B).
• Dimitri of all people can't stop cracking up at Alois' terrible dad jokes. It's even funnier when it's post-time skip Dimitri.
• Everything about Sothis' S support is hilarious. Sothis suddenly popping back up, her surprisingly passionate and hammy Love Confession, Byleth's confusion on where to put the ring, and finally ending the support with Sothis picking up their previous conversation: scolding Byleth for walking into Solon's trap over five years ago.
• After spending his C Support with Sylvain trying to convince Dimitri to lighten up, his B support discovers that Dimitri tried that and tried to flirt with girls as Sylvain does...only to have to hide in Sylvain's room while Sylvain bails him out.
  • The entire B-support is side-splittingly hilarious, just because they both treat the matter like life and death. They seriously talk as if Sylvain bailing Dimitri out is akin to him going to war.
    Sylvain: Relax, Your Highness. Relax. I'll sort this whole thing out, real easy. All we have to do is figure out how to make this girl lose interest in you. And making girls lose interest is what I'm best at! You just wait right there, and I'll fix everything.
    Dimitri: It was my naiveté that brought this about. I cannot place this immense burden on your shoulders...
    Sylvain: This is no job for an amateur. You need a professional's help. Trying to do everything yourself has never served you so well, so just leave this to the master. Even the dagger incident could have been avoided if you had just talked with me beforehand.
    [...]
    Sylvain: A knight of Faerghus never goes back on his word...isn't that right?
    Dimitri: You're a good man, Sylvain. I'm sorry to do this to you.
    Sylvain: Please, Your Highness. I've spent years honing my skills for just this situation. Watch and learn.
  • Even funnier, if this support is opened right after the five-year time skip, it turns from a serious question of whether or not Dimitri angered some Imperial soldiers to Dimitri awkwardly revealing that it's not. Mood Whiplash at its finest.
  • "The dagger incident" is likely referring to Dimitri attempting to woo Edelgard when they were kids by giving her a knife as a farewell gift. Take your pick over what's funnier—that Dimitri is still mortified over it, or that Sylvain was apparently a casanova even back then.
• Edelgard's supports with Lysithea deal with pretty somber subjects, but one point of hilarity is that Edelgard keeps saying "Good Girl" to Lysithea (presumably knowing that she gets irritated when people treat her like a child) only to offer up sweets that quickly quell the younger girl's ire. This leads Lysithea to complain about how she can't get bought over by sweets, and then taking them anyways.
• Lorenz and Sylvain's supports revolve around failing to out-flirt each other with women and roasting the other's attempts.
  Sylvain: When I saw you, I just had to come over and say hello because finding you here...feels like fate. Maybe we could go get some tea. Get to know each other better?
  Woman: I think you must have mistaken me for someone else. Someone who cares. Please excuse me.
  Lorenz: Exquisite. Simply masterful. When is the wedding?
• The ending of Flayn and Seteth's C support. When Seteth inquires who is bothering Flayn, she responds that it's actually Seteth and walks away. Seteth is so shocked that he ends up repressing the memory of their conversation.
  • The B Support follows up with her being absolutely mortified because he had run around to all her friends to see how they felt about her and make sure she was getting along with everyone... even threatening an unspecified boy that is implied to be Sylvain for looking at her with leering eyes.
• Flayn and Raphael's supports involve the former seeking guidance as to how to become strong. Raphael suggests Flayn work on her battle cries, which leads to several scenes of Flayn trying to imitate Raphael's deep, full-bodied shouts with her adorable voice.
• Flayn and Linhardt's A-support has Linhardt suddenly proposing marriage to Flayn for the sake of Crest research (in this situation, to see what would happen if two people of the same Crest had children). Flayn is naturally shocked and exasperated at the offer. The kicker? Their paired ending reveals she did end up agreeing to it.
• Marianne reveals in her B support with Claude that the person she talks to most isn't a person, but Dorte the horse. It's both the blunt way she says it and Claude's slightly puzzled but amused acceptance of this.
  Claude: Ah, of course! Good ol' Dorte.
• Claude's B Support with Ignatz has them discussing what to do if the Goddess showed up, Claude suggests that if she did, he needs to be there for Ignatz's sake. To "smooth things over, have a nice chat, invite her to tea. Everything a goddess deserves." This gets extra-funny if you picture how Sothis would react if Claude invited her to tea.
• Linhardt spends almost the entirety of his C Support with Ferdinand deep in Sarcasm Mode, while Ferdinand is totally oblivious:
  Linhardt: As capable as you are striking. Next to you I am a mere infant.
  Ferdinand: Oh, you are far too kind... Although I do work hard each day to achieve all of which you speak.
  Linhardt: You've mastered all the important noble skills. You drink tea, talk about how great you are, ride horses...
  Ferdinand: Indeed! I went for a ride earlier today.
  Linhardt: Is that so? You'll have to tell me about it sometime, when I'm not walking away...
  (Linhardt walks away.)
• Over the course of Raphael and Marianne's C support, Raphael goes from believing Marianne can speak "birdese" to believing some birds "speak human," which leads to Marianne finding him holding a one-sided conversation with a bird in their B support. Towards the end of their A support, Raphael tries making bird sounds to make it easier for Marianne to talk with him, which is both adorable and hilarious.
• Raphael's B Support with Lysithea has him imitating his sister Maya (who has a similar personality to Lysithea). (Has now been animated here.)
  Raphael: I'm so tough! I'm gonna stand my ground! I don't need help from anyone! And when things don't go my way, I'm gonna act all sad and moody!
• In Raphael's B Support with Dimitri, he ends up with some pretty bad muscle pain after trying Dimitri's insane training regimen. Until Dimitri points out what it actually is, Raphael thinks he's dying, and even then he's horrified.
  Raphael: I can't believe I was so mean to my muscles! I need to make it up to them! I gotta go eat some food so my muscles can get the nutrition they need! And I can't waste any more time talking about it!
  Dimitri: Hold on! What happened to your muscle pain? And if you eat too much, you'll give yourself a stomachache! Uh oh... He's headed straight for the stairs. I thought he could hardly walk with his muscles in that state...
  Raphael: *offscreen* Aaghh! My muscles!
• Manuela's C support with Byleth has her waking up after a bad date, loudly struggling to find and put her clothes back on, and walking out to receive a message that Byleth has for her... that there's not going to be a second date. Even funnier that at one point you can inform her you can HEAR everything going on.
  • Made better by Manuela saying all of this out loud, and Byleth's only reaction is for their eyebrows to shoot to the top of their head.
  • Their B support manages to top it: as Manuela laments her poor luck with men, Byleth manages to assure her that the problem is not her appearance. When she asks if the problem is her personality, one option has Byleth simply averting their eyes and trailing off into dead silence. She somehow managed to rationalize this to mean that she should have more flaws, to which the only response is a flat NO.
• Catherine and Shamir's C support, during which Catherine recalls their first meeting, where Catherine introduced herself and struck up friendly conversation, and Shamir replied, "Hi. I'm Shamir."
• Byleth's supports with Lorenz are pretty amusing. It starts with Byleth confronting Lorenz because several girls have complained that Lorenz has been harassing them to go out with him. He denies it at first, but then admits that after the first time they said no, he waited only a day before asking them again, "like a gentleman would." Byleth's blatantly more exasperated dialogue options are extremely funny, but what clinches it is when Lorenz claims that all these complaints are just a conspiracy to ruin his position as a noble. Byleth's facial expression at the end of Lorenz's C support with them is priceless.
• Byleth's A support with Edelgard starts with a gut-buster when Edelgard grumbles about Hubert keeping her busy and does a mocking imitation of his speaking patterns.
  Edelgard: Your Majesty, you must know your supreme talents are needed at present. Why not gaze at these documents instead of the sky?
  • Earlier in their B support, Edelgard complains to Byleth about how much work she needs done and how she simply wants to take a break and eat sweets. If Byleth responds, "Such are the burdens of an emperor," not only does she remark about how they sound like Hubert, Hubert's support goes up, implying that he's secretly listening in on their conversation.
• Caspar and Linhardt's C support basically evokes the classic "my dad can beat up your dad" argument. It ends with Caspar running off to disprove Linhardt's point about height advantages in a fight...only to be soundly beaten. Linhardt's closing remark sells it.
  Linhardt: So it's as I said, then, isn't it? The tallest fighter has the advantage...and my father could beat yours in a fight.
  • Even more amusing after the timeskip, where despite Caspar undergoing a growth spurt while Linhardt remains the same height, the latter is STILL taller. Caspar will comment on his increase of height if you get the support post-timeskip, but still ends up losing badly.
• In Dimitri and Annette's C support, Annette reveals that her father told her a lot of stories about Dimitri. When Dimitri asks what sort of stories he told her, she starts to talk about a story from his childhood. Dimitri instantly changes his mind and tells her never mind. It's reversed in their B-support, where Dimitri reveals that Annette's father would talk about her often, including one story from when she was quite small. Annette panics and stops him, promising to forget Dimitri's embarrassing stories if he forgets hers.
• Dimitri and Mercedes's support. It begins with Mercedes panicking about having not practiced for an upcoming sword exam. Dimitri tries to help her get some last minute practice, only for her to send the sword flying. The next part of their support has Mercedes trying to help Dimitri fix his cuff after the little stunt, except...
  Mercedes: I thought you might end up bending some needles if you tried mending this on your own, but... How did you manage to break a pair of scissors?
  • This support isn't timeskip locked, so it's very possible for the giant, formerly bloodthirsty king to be grumbling about his inability to sew.
• Ingrid and Claude, throughout their supports, never stop criticizing each other's behavior. Their paired ending says that despite being king and queen of Almyra, they argued frequently, and "the queen chasing the fleeing king through the palace was a common occurrence".
• During Claude and Lysithea's B Support, you get treated to this rather amusingly fitting voice goof.
  Claude: See, there's a graveyard over here. Might run into some of those ghoooosts you hate so mu-he-he-ch...!
  • Even better, during a Reddit AMA, Joe Zieja admitted the chuckle was unscripted. They clearly liked it, because they left it in!
• Leonie and Sylvain's C support shows that Leonie is such a tomboy, Sylvain doesn't even bother hitting on her, much to her anger.
  Leonie: Now, hold on! How come it's not rude for you to just pass ''me'' by?! Look at me! I'm a girl, you know!
  Sylvain: Uh... Oh, I see. A girl. You're... a girl. Huh.
• Ashe's C support with Byleth is mostly just an interesting conversation with Ashe about a story he looked up to. Then the book is stolen from Anna, who indeed still carries the legacy of the Fire Emblem merchant sisters, prompting her to yell out:
  Anna: Cut him in half like my prices!
• Shamir and Catherine's A+ support, while also tragic and heartwarming, have Shamir catching the dreaded Thunderstrike Catherine completely off guard and gasping for fresh air by (jokingly) proposing marriage to her, warning that if she accepts Shamir "may tire" of her.
• In Manuela and Seteth's C Support, when he has come to lecture her about having gotten drunk and needing to be carried to her room by students, she tries to excuse herself by claiming she has something to do, only for Seteth to counter that he already checked and knows she didn't.
  • In their A support, Manuela walks in on Seteth praying to Saint Cethleann, and comes to the conclusion that he's in love with her. While she attempts to console him on how hard it must be to have feelings for someone who died hundreds of years ago, Seteth just stands there looking like he wants to die. Knowing that Seteth and Flayn are actually Cichol and Cethleann makes it even funnier.
• One support with Cyril has him mention he forgot to eat. One option is to give him some meat... and of course Cyril asks "...how come you're carrying THAT around?"
• After Dorothea realizing that she thinks of Caspar like a little brother, who considers it to be embarrassing, she tries to get him to call her big sis. He initially refuses but relents, and when she calls him adorable he runs off embarrassed.
  Dorothea: Well done, Caspar! You're such a cute little boy! I'm proud to have you as a sibling!
  Caspar: I'm not cute, and I'm NOT little. How would you feel if I made YOU call me "big bro"?
  Dorothea: Oh? Well, I wouldn't mind that at all, big bro.
  Caspar: ...
  Dorothea: Something wrong, big bro?
  Caspar: Ughhh, this is the WORST. (runs off as Dorothea laughs)
• Manuela finds some of Lorenz's written poetry and enjoys it, but when she brings it up to him Lorenz completely drops his usual collected air and hurriedly takes it back while asking her to forget she ever saw it. Later, Lorenz hears Manuela singing and muses at the beauty of her voice...until he realizes that she's singing his poetry, prompting him to launch a Rapid-Fire "No!" and beg her to not reveal who wrote it if she must insist on singing it.
  • For the B-Support in particular, Lorenz before he realizes Manuela put his poetry to lyrics makes a comment on how Manuela would be able to fit into high society...had it not been for drinking and lack of manners.
• Byleth and Dedue's C-Support is particularly great. It turns out Dedue has a soft spot for flowers and was tending to the Greenhouse as a chore, while Byleth came in simply to admire. Dedue is able to detect Byleth's presence without even turning around, and both exchange "..."s several times. It's like something out of a Dark Brotherhood dialogue exchange. Through the conversation, Byleth admits Dedue's difficult to hold a conversation with.
• In Ignatz and Petra's B support, Petra is curious about trying on his glasses (as nobody in Brigid has bad eyesight, or at least nobody who survives does). Not only do we get cute art of Ignatz without glasses and Petra with them, but Petra proceeds to get nauseous, falls over with Ignatz and with complete sincerity decides they are like Hero's Relics that only certain people can use.
• Dedue and Flayn's A-Support ends with Flayn deciding to try out a series of cutesy pet names for Dedue.
• Hilda and Seteth’s C-support is everything you’d expect from a conversation between the two of them. Seteth approaches Hilda and questions every instance of her avoiding various things, and her corresponding excuses. Near the end we get this gem.
  Seteth: I seem to recall, also, that you declined to participate in a mock battle. That was due to a headache, yes?
  Hilda: I have a very fragile body, you see. [obviously fake and exaggerated coughing] It’s so kind of everyone to be accommodating.
• The conclusion of Seteth and Hanneman's B support becomes doubly funny when one considers that when Seteth laments being made a fool of "by a man of your age" he is likely calling Hanneman young rather than old because Seteth is far, far older than Hanneman.
• Flayn's S support has her getting distracted by the technicalities of the male Byleth having the female Sothis' spirit inside of him, and asks at one point if this makes Byleth a male goddess.
  • And then Byleth presents the engagement ring.
  Flaynn: This is a ring...Oh my, it is beautiful! So delicate and feminine. Is this your ring? So then, you walk around with a women's ring. Surely this is proof that—
  Byleth: You're missing the point...
• Manuela and Cyril's B support has Cyril come across Manuela while she's hungover. Cyril, assuming she's too inebriated to know he's there, tries to pretend he didn't see anything, only for her stop him with an audible slur in her voice (she also has slightly messed up hair in her character portraits while hungover). After getting some water and medicine, she seems sober again, only to go on a spiel about she'll be there for Cyril when he goes through the same heartbreak experience she usually goes through. Cyril, who is 22 years younger than her, is perturbed by this to say the least and tries to decline her offer and go about his business. Veronica Taylor's delivery in the English dub makes the support even funnier.
• In Dimitri's S support when he proposes to female Byleth she's stunned, widening her already big doe eyes. Dimitri takes her shock as a rejection and pleads that if she is going to reject him, say it now and he'll accept her decision. Female Byleth's response...is to propose to him right back leaving him in stunned silence. The camera lingers on his widened, blue eye before he suggests that they should exchange rings to make it official. Now you know why Uno Reverse/No U memes are so popular with the Blue Lions route.
• In Mercedes' C-support with Jeritza, she tries to wipe crumbs off Jeritza's face. The horrifying, bloodthirsty Death Knight is promptly reduced to an embarrassed child in the face of his older sister.
• Jeritza's supports with Byleth also have some funny moments.
  • The C support starts with Byleth approaching Jeritza as he is eating ice cream in the lunch hall. Byleth just walks up and stares in disbelief at the Death Knight, just casually eating something sweet. Jeritza's reaction is more or less a blunt, "What? I can't enjoy sweets?"
  Jeritza: If you need something, spit it out. My ice cream is melting.
  • The A-support starts with him fantasizing about a duel to the death with Byleth. Out loud. His tone makes it clear that he'd find it quite enjoyable. We don't get to see Byleth's expression, but their only response ("Do you...really want to keep going with this?") is surprisingly amusing.
• Felix and Lysithea's support chain starts with Felix finding Lysithea eating a cake. Her response is to bribe him with cake to keep quiet, only for him to refuse because he hates sweets.
  • This is then immediately followed up with Felix's genuinely upset-sounding deflection of Lysithea's attempts to justify the bribe in the first place.
  Lysithea: If people knew I was shoveling cake into my face by the fistful, they'd think me nothing more than a child!
  Felix: Adults eat cake.
• Some interactions that are done post-time skip can end up hilarious if the events feel like they're meant to be school events, so you have have something like Emperor Edelgard helping clean Manuela's room (and addressing her as Professor) in their B-Rank Support.
• Every single S-Support occurs on the Goddess Tower balcony, with even Bernadetta being taken there from her room. Felix? He drags Byleth to (where else?) the Training Grounds so he can tell her how his sword will rust if she doesn't stay by his side for the rest of his days. A real romantic.
• Byleth's C-Support with Sylvain opens with Byleth happening across Sylvain breaking up with his latest fling. One of the first dialogue options Byleth gets is to straight up tell Sylvain he's a jerk.
• In Claude and Flayn's A+ support, Claude figures out that Seteth is Flayn's father. When Flayn asks Claude if he's confronted Seteth with his theory, he wonders if he could trick a reaction out of Seteth by calling out "Daddy" when he's not expecting it. He decides against it because Seteth would kill him if he did that.
  • Flayn then counters that one sure way for Claude to get a reaction out of Seteth would be for him to ask for permission to marry her. Claude immediately shuts down the idea because he doesn't want to deal with the ramifications, and when Claude tries to change the topic Flayn gets clearly annoyed.
• Ferdinand's A Support with Edelgard finally has him getting over his complex over besting Edelgard, only to instead take this as meaning the two would be the ideal Ruling Couple instead. Edelgard's Oh, Crap! reaction plays out like she came to the realization that she unintentionally created a new "challenge" for him to obsess over.
  Ferdinand: You are an imperial beauty. Please accept me as your hus—
  Edelgard: HALT FERDINAND! There is a time and place for everything....but that time is not now.
• Marianne and Hilda's Support chain which features Hilda's shenanigans being turned around on her as Hilda tries to trick Marianne into helping her with tasks but instead she ends up doing the tasks herself after Marianne tricks her. At the end she actually compliments Marianne and thanks her for teaching her some new tricks to use against other targets.

DLC

• Cindered Shadows:
  • The fact that the whole DLC started because Claude saw someone suspicious duck into an underground passage and decided to bring the other protagonists along to investigate.
  • When the three lords and Byleth are wondering where the Abyss passage might lead to, Claude, true to fashion, starts trolling them by listing off the dangers of what they could run into, including “Terrible danger. Wicked creatures...” and “unspeakable smells”.
    Claude: (with fake concern) The risk is too high, Your Highnesses! I must humbly insist that you wait here, where it’s safe... and smells nice.”
    • If you pay close attention, Byleth's eyes widen after Claude mentions the "unspeakable smells".
  • Linhardt, realizing what he's about to get involved in, attempts to leave, but is stopped by Edelgard.
  • Likewise, after Claude tells Hilda that she has to come with them, during Dimitri's request for Ashe to assist them, Hilda can be seen doing her annoyed arm flail animation.
    • The fact that the two most lazy/reluctant party members are forced to join on a spontaneous quest into the unknown, compared to the eager-to-please Ashe who happily jumps at the chance to help, is hilarious in of itself.
  • When Balthus realizes he's talking to THE Claude, future leader of the Leicester Alliance, he tries to get Claude to admit to being that Claude. Claude evades by claiming it's a common name, at which point Balthus claims he was the only Claude who enrolled, causing Claude to accidentally give himself away.
  • When Hilda and Balthus finally recognize each other (him being an old friend of her big brother) Balthus immediately starts begging Hilda not to tell Holst that they fought, lest he lose his head for trying to harm the man's little sister. In fact over the course of the game one of the few things that seems to cause Balthus genuine worry is making Holst angry.
  • Bathlus reveals that in order to put aside his debt from Lorenz's father, he had to fight the group and get dirt on Claude. He then says that a good fight is a good way to get to know people. If you're playing as the female Byleth and she agrees, there's this line from Hapi:
    Hapi: Huh. I had no idea there were others like B out there. Who knew such a refined lady could be so backwards.
  • Constance is very pleased to be in the arena Yuri has discovered for them. Yuri, on the other hand, just wants Constance (and Hapi) to not destroy the whole place.
    Constance: Ahaha! This place is magnificient! It is just spacious enough to contain my glory! I shall not hold back here!
    Yuri: Be glorious in moderation.
  • Edelgard's reaction to the Death Knight leaving when the second chapter is completed or he gets beaten is to just comment that he was a nuisance. What makes this funnier is that, since the Death Knight is working for her as the Flame Emperor, and her reaction to him trying to kill her can be best summed up as Oh, No... Not Again!.
  • While being chased by golems (or "doll things" as the group calls them) the group is none-too-pleased to hear that Balthus had tested the strength of the Abyss' gates by punching them.
    Yuri: Balthus, if you broke the gate's mechanism I'm sacrificing you to the creepy doll.
  • While running from the dolls, Constance laments "Oh, my poor abused legs! I have been remiss to neglect my lower body exercise as of late". In other words, she skipped leg day.
  • After beating the third chapter, the group flees after it becomes clear the Golems are chasing them. Constance however, due to the sun-setting, reverts from her Shrinking Violet personality to her Proper Lady personality, and starts being boastful about the situation. She then realizes everyone left her behind, causing her to follow after in a hurry.
  • During that, Constance continues to apologize for her lack of foresight. Claude decided to troll Edelgard for this.
    Claude: Oh, Your Highness of Hignesses, I doth humbly beg of thee to find forgiveness within your royal heart.
    • Even better, in the Japanese version, he actually snorts.
  • While exploring in Abyss during Chapter five, you can find Linhardt saying this. The strange analogy is bound to make you laugh. Even Linhardt admits that it's a strange analogy himself.
    Linhardt: It's like casting a line and thinking you've landed the Big One... but then you reel in it, and it's Seteth.
  • Before the fifth chapter’s battle, Yuri rather suddenly asks Byleth to go on a date with him, which later turns out to have been a clue to where to find them later. Byleth's reactions make it clear they're extremely confused by the sudden question.
  • After Yuri has Hapi summon a giant bird monster to scare away some mercenaries, he calls on Balthus to fight the wild creature off. It doesn't quite go to plan though as the giant bird proceeds to pick him up and carry him off. When the battle proper starts, Balthus begins on the other side of the map (still facing the giant bird too).
    Yuri: Hey, Balthus, quit screwing around! Oh... wow. It flew off with him. Oh well, he'll sort it out.
  • After Chapter 5, when Aelfric abducts the Ashen Wolves to carry out the Rite of Rising, the group contemplates where to find them. One of the options you can select is “the dining hall”, to which Dimitri refutes in confusion and asks if Byleth is just hungry.
  • After clearing Chapter 4, Linhardt nicely summarizes the experience.
    Linhardt: Run through this gate, open that one, run through another one. Sheesh. That’s enough gates to last me a lifetime. I’m overdue for some shuteye…
• Midway through the DLC story Hilda will introduce the room where in the main game one can do matchmaking to assure specific paired endings are attained. She describes the person as a fortuneteller, that she thinks they're the "real deal" and proclaims they may be able to help her choose what to do regarding her "countless suitors." It's how happy and proud she is saying this that really makes the scene.

Main Story DLC

• One of the books in the Abyss labyrinth is a novel based on a play that ships Emperor Wilhelm and Saint Seiros. It got banned by Seteth, likely out of indignant fury from the heresy.
  • Another book from the Abyss labrynth, "Words of Love", covers topics like alone time & greeting the dawn, the art of seduction, and how to compliment a lover. It was also banned by Seteth, likely due to the inclusion of a chapter explaining how to give Saint Cethleann's Love Garland to one's partner.
  • Another one is, while not quite hilarious, still a bit chuckle-worthy: There is a book that describes various items that the Church of Seiros has banned for various reasons. One of them is the use of spyglasses, with one of the reasons being "It would lessen the mystery of the Goddess, who watches from above."
• Once recruited, the Ashen Wolves can be recruited for activities just like any other student. Given their personalities, this leads to some rather hilarious moments, especially with Constance and Hapi.
  • All the outdoor activities, naturally, take place in sunlight, so Constance is naturally in her sunlight mood - and by the time she reports back, she's indoors. As a result, it's not uncommon for her to eagerly report about how much she liked it when she was mumbling about how she fails at everything a second ago.
  • What underground living does not teach you is the ability to prepare food. If brought into the kitchen, Hapi immediately tells you eating it raw might be safer, and later admits she is paralyzed by indecision figuring out the numerical quantity of what "a pinch" means, and Constance cheerfully assuming her magical skill allows her to sweeten any dish - and after it's done, she sheepishly states that nobody minds anything too sweet. It is saying something when the boys are better at cooking in comparison^note Balthus gives neutral status buffs if brought for Kitchen duty while Yuri is a Supreme Chef, as established in his support conversation with Ingrid.
  • Yuri absolutely loathes singing in public, as shown in Dorothea's Support with him. Naturally, he's available for choir practice, though this becomes Harsher in Hindsight after his A-Support with Dorothea. Constance, on the other hand, is thrilled, actually singing instead of commenting on it with an absolutely overjoyed expression. As seen here. And then there's Balthus, who has a gem of a quote and a positive modifier:
    Balthus: I'm not good, but I'm loud. You might want to run for cover.
  • Hapi's sense of humor shines during tea time. Looking at her face will have her ask in a slightly annoyed tone if she has bed head, while looking at her from the side will result in the following gem:
    Hapi: I know, I'm buff as heck. What of it?
  • Assigning Yuri and Bernadetta to stable duty results in quite possibly the best Group Task conversation in the whole game.
    Bernadetta: Still as a stone, Bernie. If he can't see you, then you're not in his way.
    Yuri: What a weird, lumpy rock. Definitely doesn't belong here... Better toss it into a nearby body of water.
    Bernadetta: What?! No! Look, I-I'm helping!
• Since the inclusion of Anna and the Death Knight as free DLC characters (The later only in Crimson Flower, of course), the Crimson Flower route gets a new paralogue centered around Pallardó. You know, the guy who appeared in Chapter 13 of every other route? Contrary to Seteth's belief, Pallardó has always been a scoundrel, and spends the introduction to his paralogue taunting Anna and by extension the Death Knight. The funny part comes during the map itself; he hired mercenaries to protect him just in case Anna was incensed at his attempts to cheat her out of a fortune, and acts cocky when they start appearing to back him up. As you start to dispatch the mercenaries, however, Pallardó slides further and further into a depressive state, until he can only admit after the last mercenary is down and after all the money has been taken that he's basically screwed.
• Balthus considers it quite a letdown if Byleth tells him the goddess looks like a child.

DLC Supports

• Constance and Ferdinand's C support start with Ferdinand essentially poking and prodding her due to being so excited about seeing her okay. While it takes a more dramatic turn, the fact you can see Constance growing more annoyed with Ferdinand makes it darkly humorous.
• Constance and Hapi's C support starts with Hapi talking to Constance with food in her mouth, followed by the latter being disgusted by the former's bad manners including leaving a trail of pastry crumbs behind her. When she decides to try one of Hapi's pastries, Hapi forcefully stuffs one into Constance's mouth. At the end of the support, she suggests eating pastries on the way to the cathedral of Gareg Mach and littering the ground with crumbs, only for Constance to realize it isn't and run after Hapi to stop her.
  Constance: A capital idea! Wait, no! Not the cathedral! You lost me again, Hapi!
  • Constance and Hapi's B support consists of them trying out a expensive and relatively new drink, coffee, and almost getting addicted to it. You can even hear Hapi sound excited/jittery and anxious to get more after she's finished.
    Hapi: It kind of tastes like mud, but also, it's delicious and I never want to stop drinking it.
    Constance: Exactly my reaction!
• Hapi's supports tend to be quite humorous in general with frequent quips. But then in her B support with Linhardt we see her lose her cool as she falls out of the tree she was sleeping in (onto Linhardt) and it's funny in a whole new way.
  Hapi: AH! Who's that?! Oh no, I'm falling! Oh no, I'm emoting! Calm...
• Yuri and Constance's A support turns to him proposing marriage halfway through. Constance is a bit surprised but not opposed either, provided he's not just joking. Her main worry is that being married to him might be too exciting. Yuri for his part is endlessly entertained by teasing her.
  Yuri: I suppose "milady" doesn't want a rogue for a husband. Hahaha, can't handle all that is Yuri, hm?
  • Their support chain in general is brilliant. In their C support, Constance takes the phrase "Lick their boots" a bit too literally, which leads directly into their B support where she informs Yuri that she's invented a spell for turning shoes into licorice to make boot licking more palatable. While Constance talks about how/why she went about creating said spell, you can hear Yuri struggling hard not to laugh out loud.
    Yuri: Uh... huh. That's... something. I'm sure you'll corner the market with that one.

---