Fanfic / I'm Too Sober for This

Issei smiling? He must be drunk.

I'm Too Sober For This is a Fate/stay night/High School D×D crossover written by Masked Spider and beta read by Steeler Steelix and Pyromania101. To be more specific, it is a crossover between Fahad09' A Demon Lord's Hero and Third Fang's Go Away! I'm Watching Porn, the second crossover between these two stories, in fact. During the writing of Chapter 2, Third Fang accepted a request from Steelix to help edit Issei's dialogue, and has also helped with the editing of other scenes.

The story begins at Chapter 16 of ADLH and the aftermath of Chapter 14 of GAIWP, with Serafall being asked to use a simple water spell by her mother. She manages to do so, but in the process opens a portal that drops Issei, who is busy watching porn on his phone, right in front of them. After a bizarre introduction, Issei is allowed to stay at the Sitri Manor while they try to figure out a way to send him home. But Issei won't be able to hide for long, and the coming trials will push him ever closer to the one person whom he feels won't backstab him: Serafall's Queen, Shirou Emiya.

Currently at 19 chapters, it can be read here.

This fanfic contains examples of:

• Aborted Arc: In-universe. Issei pulls the plug on whatever Zekram Bael was planning for Shirou via intimidation on Shirou's request.
• Adaptational Angst Upgrade: ADLH!Issei was explicitly stated to share his canon self's background, with the exception of having Karasuba for a sister and Twice Critical instead of the Boosted Gear as his Sacred Gear. In this story, it's mentioned that she once brutally beat him up when they were children, and throughout their childhood would try to one-up him in whatever hobby he tried if he didn't treat it as competitively as she did, killing his enjoyment of anything he tried.
  • Chapter 18 has Irina give a possible explanation for this: following her failed attempt to control Ddraig when she was a child (which led to their dad getting mauled), Karasuba felt she needed her brother to be stronger than her just in case she went off the deep end again, so she tried to toughen him up, but her methods were flawed and there was realistically no chance of that happening; but rather than acknowledge that, she dismissed him as lazy and unmotivated.
• Adaptational Badass: An in-universe example. In GAIWP, it took the combined might of all four Maous, Azazel, and the Archangels to overtake Issei, and it's implied that he was toying with them the entire time and could have stomped them if he really felt like it (the fact that they knew his fighting style likely helped, as well). By contrast, the ADLH!Maous are able to hold their own against him without Azazel or the Archangels, and without any prior knowledge about him. They actually do so well against him that he becomes desperate (and/or angry) enough to unleash Ghost, though Shirou intervenes before he can.
• Adaptational Expansion: The identity of the Noble Phantasm Xenovia wields was kept ambiguous in ADLH. Here, it's explicitly Mordred's sword, Clarent.
• Adaptational Intelligence: Also in-universe. Issei notes that ADLH!Sona is smarter than her GAIWP counterpart, having repeatedly tried to get the Perverted Trio expelled (Rias always blocks her efforts) and sanitizing and closing up the hole in the wall in the girl's locker room. He concludes that Shirou's presence is the reason for this, but Shirou denies it.
• Adaptational Villainy: Karasuba is made to look more like a thuggish bully towards her brother than she was in ADLH, at least from the point-of-view of both Isseis.
• And I'm the Queen of Sheba: Sona refuses to believe that Issei doesn't masturbate, responding with this trope... which turns out to be a confession.
• Anti-Magic: Falbium can negate many of Issei's spells.
• Armor-Piercing Question:
  • Karasuba mockingly asks if Issei thought he could defy fate. He gives a cheesy response and tries to intimidate her, and when that fails, he stuffs her in a box—though he tellingly fails to answer her question, something she rubs in later.
  • Issei cuts off Zekram Bael's point about every major major conflict being treated as different than any before it (justifying his attempts to take advantage of the current crisis in the process) by asking when the last time Ophis got involved in one. Even the old devil can't refute the point.
• Armor Piercing Slap: Played for Horror when Ophis starts slapping Shirou in Chapter 16 for dissolving UBW before she was done basking in it. It might seem comical on the surface, but given her infinite strength, Shirou is all too aware that each slap could kill him if Ophis puts enough strength behind it.
• Ass Shove: During his fight with Vali, Issei trips over a rock and smashes face-first into Vali's derriere, to their mutual embarrassment.
• Attempted Rape: Tiamat tries to rape Issei in Chapter 11.
• Awesome by Analysis: The Maous quickly deduce that Issei's fighting style emphasizes maneuverability, so they focus on boxing him in and messing with his Boosts. Serafall even correctly labels him as a Combat Medic, prompting her colleagues to adapt on the fly. This is even more impressive when you consider their counterparts took years to figure out how he fights and had the help of Azazel and the Archangels, and yet were unable to exploit this knowledge effectively.
• Ax-Crazy: ADLH!Ddraig is batshit insane.
• Bait-and-Switch: Rias's mysterious new Pawn, Bennia, turns out to be her second Knight.
• Batman Gambit: Karasuba challenges Issei to a fight, both to satiate her bloodlust and get Shirou's attention. She loses the fight pretty handily, but got exactly what she wanted in the end.
• Beach Episode: The second half of Chapter 9 serves as this.
• The Berserker: Downplayed with Karasuba. She seems like one at first glance and Illya joyfully labels her as such, but Issei notes that she can put some thought into her attacks and she is a highly skilled swordswoman.
• BFS: Shirou smashes the Axe-Sword of Hercules between Issei and the Maous in order to call their fight to a halt.
• Big Brother Instinct:
  • Issei explicitly asks if Shirou possesses this trope towards "strange and potentially homicidal little girls". Shirou replies he has it towards kids in general.
  • Issei seems to be developing this towards Shirou (despite being younger), as he swiftly gets in front of Shirou "like a guard dog" when he hears the latter give a frightened shriek.
• Big Damn Hero: Just as Ophis is about to kill Issei, Shirou shows up, grabs the boy, and gets Sona to teleport them away.
• Big "NO!": Issei gives one ("WRONG!") when Shirou asks if the visual novel about him is explicitly pornographic, then goes on to explain why it isn't.
• Big "WHAT?!": Shirou does this when Issei explains the different routes to him, especially the idea of him having sex with Sakura.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: Kiba uses the first line of Shirou's aria during the Rating Game against Riser Phenex, much to Shirou's fury. Koneko whacks him on the head for it later.
• Both Sides Have a Point:
  • When Issei is teleported to the Gathering arena, he has every right to be angry about it, and he had no way of knowing it was an accident; and given his negative history with the Maous from his world, he has little reason to trust them. However, his knee-jerk reaction to it rightly frightens the Maous into taking action against him, which is only further justified by his extreme hostility towards them—for reasons he refuses to elaborate upon—when they try to settle the matter nonviolently.
  • When arguing with Karasuba, Issei states there's more to life for a Red Dragon Emperor than just fighting Albion. Karasuba fires back that Sacred Gear wielders, especially dragon emperors, will always have to fend off wannabe power-grabbers, so she might as well enjoy it, and that they aren't meant to have comfortable, happy lives.
  • During another argument between Issei and Karasuba, both hurl the book at one another: Issei is right in that Karasuba lecturing him about his problems when she doesn’t even know the context or extent of them is both insulting and hypocritical given she nearly performed Suicide by Cop, while Karasuba echoes plenty of the readers of GAIWP in that Issei doesn’t seem to bother addressing his issues and does himself no favours with how cagey he is—which forces others to make judgments about him based on what they see—or how quickly he resorts to threats despite ostensibly hating violence (which she chalks up as him being so used to getting his way that having to use force is foreign to, and thereby uncomfortable for, him).
  • When Kuroka reveals that the Khaos Faction bugged Shirou's house, Issei berates Shirou for not checking the house's security after the renovations (during which the bugs were installed) were finished. Shirou knows he's right, but counters that he had a lot of other affairs that distracted him from considering that, and after he lists them off one by one, Issei retracts his criticism—before asking Illya why she didn't check the house for bugs.
  • When Shirou and Issei get into a heated debate about Karasuba in Chapter 10, both bring up good arguments: Issei argues that Shirou, as Kara's King, has a responsibility to deal with her issues; while Shirou bluntly points out that Issei does much of the same crap that Kara gets up to—largely for the same reasons—and is just as unapologetic about it as she is—and therefore is a total hypocrite who has no business judging her.
  • From the same discussion, Issei's opinion of Karasuba condemning his counterpart for failing to stop Rias from altering their mothers memories. He points out the boy had just learned about the supernatural, been killed the night prior, and was made an underling of the devil in question, who also outclassed him in every manner imaginable, leaving him in an understandable state of shock and helplessness. He promptly concedes Karasuba's anger was understandable when rather than use any of the above arguments, his counterpart said "there were boobs".
• Bullying a Dragon:
  • Pun aside, Karasuba does this by relentlessly provoking Issei. She's too fearless to care, and there is a reason behind it.
  • Diodora Astaroth tries to intimidate Shirou into surrendering Asia to him. Shirou tells him bluntly and to his face that he isn't even a small matter, with Issei (whom Diodora also tries to act dismissive towards) treating him with equal derision. When he starts making threats towards Asia directly, Shirou is just about to butcher him, and Diodora's life is only saved by Issei using his phone trick to give him a splitting headache—not because he doesn't think the little shit deserves to die, but because killing him would cause problems for Ajuka (Diodora's older brother), whom Shirou is on good terms with and whose help Issei is counting on to get back to his world.
  • Koneko has gotten into a tussle with Serafall at least twice. Over Shirou. Were it not for Shirou's brotherly affection for Koneko, Serafall would have squashed her like a bug in an instant.
• Call-Back:
  • Issei asks Shirou a series of probing questions to confirm his identity, similar to the ones he asked Kiba when the latter displayed similarities to Shirou.
  • Issei calls Sona "Enabler 2.0", which is ironic since she's very much not an enabler here.
  • Issei is not allowed to celebrate Christmas because Ghost roughed up Santa Claus one year.
  • Shirou's frequent problem with Devil culture is directly pointed out by Issei.
  • Issei's paranoid fear of Asia comes back with a vengeance in Chapter 4.
  • Issei's insistence that he doesn't masturbate.
  • Sona doing a goofy pelvic thrust dance when alone.
  • Shirou bribing Shirone into getting off him with food.
  • Issei using a pre-recorded reading of the Bible by Archangel Gabriel to give Diodora Astaroth a migraine.
• Changing The Uncomfortable Subject:
  • Shirou does this whenever Issei starts rambling about porn.
  • Issei does this, too, particularly when someone broaches subjects that bring up bad memories.
• Combat Medic: Issei's fighting style invokes this, and Serafall lampshades it, much to his annoyance.
• Combat Pragmatist: Vali, having watched Issei's fight with the Maous, ensures that his own fight with Issei takes place in a warehouse with tight spacing in order to limit Issei's maneuverability. It's not enough for him to win outright, but he puts up a better struggle than Karasuba did, something Issei admits.
• The Comically Serious: Shirou's Pawns rattle off a bunch of swear words with utterly flat expressions.
• Continuity Snarl: Serafall's first meeting with Shirou has the former behave somewhat casually from the get-go. In the original story, she behaves very icily until Shirou agrees to sell his soul without hesitation, whereupon she started laughing.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: Vali once tried to say "no" to Ophis. She promptly bit him in the ass so hard that it left scars, which ends up suppressing his ass fetish.
• Cool Old Guy: GAIWP!Ddraig is ever-patient and reasonable. He even chides Issei for overestimating his counterpart and urges him to apologize to Shirou in Chapter 11.
• Cool Teacher: Sun Wukong is Karasuba's combat instructor, and though she finds him annoying, she still respects him. Issei also treats him cordially.
• Cowardice Callout: Issei and Karasuba do this to one another in Chapter 7. Issei comes off as slightly worse due to his cagey demeanor and giving off the implication that he doesn't want to get over his issues, though he claims that said accusations are based on ignorance—while refusing to explain why.
• Curb-Stomp Battle:
  • Chapter 5 gives us two:
    • Issei one-shots Karasuba after Boosting himself adequately, though she does catch him off-guard at first, then stuffs her in a box.
    • While this is going on, Shirou effortlessly defeats three members of the Hero Brigade—specifically because he senses the above battle and wants to step in before things get nasty.
  • Chapter 8 also gives us two:
    • Issei handily defeats Vali, though like Kara, Vali doesn't go down effortlessly. Issei even admits that the White Dragon Emperor made him work for it, and compliments him a few times.
    • And then Ophis shows up and sends Issei crashing through several walls with nothing more than a finger poke. Issei doesn't even try to fight back, preferring to simply bolster his defenses while trying to think of a way to escape or talk her down.
  • In Chapter 15:
    • Issei defeats Jeanne with a Dress Break while casually chugging a beer.
    • Karasuba crushes Heracles' skull like a grape.
    • The Maous easily fend off the members of the Old Satan Faction.
• Curb Stomp Cushion: The outcome of Karasuba's fight with Issei in Chapter 19 was never in doubt, but Kara actually manages to surprise Issei a couple times and he admits afterward that she earned a solid "B", which is even more impressive when you consider he only just told her of other ways she can use Boosts.
• Cute Kitten: Shirone's familiar is a white kitten named Shiro. Karasuba immediately starts gushing over him.
• Dance Battler: Issei's movements during his fight with Vali are explicitly based off dancing.
• Dark and Troubled Past: Issei, as expected. He hasn't gone into much detail yet, but the bags under his eyes are enough for Shirou to figure out that something happened to him.
• Deconstruction Crossover:
  • Since the Maous from ADLH don't know Issei nor did they play a part in what happened to him, they do not feel beholden to him at all and treat him as a potential threat. Sirzechs even explicitly demands that Issei be kept away from his sister, whereas GAIWP!Sirzechs pushed her towards him.
  • Issei has no money, no spy network, and no friends in high (or low) places (other than Ghost, depending on the circumstances) to protect him should he cause an incident and since everyone is both stronger and smarter than the versions of them he is acquainted with, they could (with extreme difficulty) kill him and suffer (almost) no consequences for it.
  • Issei and Karasuba cannot intimidate one another into submission, and even after Issei overpowers her, he fails to adequately answer a number of her questions, for which she mocks him.
  • Issei's moody demeanor is depicted as less justified than in the parent story, with Karasuba viciously pointing out that Issei's lot in life is actually pretty good, and yet he refuses to appreciate that.
  • Issei's habit of changing topics and refusal to discuss his past is portrayed as rather cowardly here, particularly his refusal to even try to disprove any criticism hurled against his behavior and actions (which only makes him look worse) in favor of acting petulant about getting put in his place.
  • The Adaptational Villainy of the dragons in ADLH (especially Ddraig) is noted to be extremely unusual by Issei, who discovers that something inherent in the universe steadily drives them more and more feral.
  • In the aftermath of their rematch, Issei takes apart Karasuba's status as an Ax-Crazy Blood Knight, and the reasons she continues the persona. Not only does her fighting style make her a nightmare in terms of teamwork (many of her attacks being just as likely to his friend as foe) but also guarantees massive collateral damage, making her unsuited to combat in any location with civilians. While she insists that said fighting style contributes to her status as The Dreaded, he counters that it is scarily easily for savvy enemies to exploit by putting her loved ones in the crossfire, and leaving her devastated in the aftermath. He even brushes off her insistence that her status as The Dreaded protects them, pointing out that joining Shirou means she's no longer a Wild Card, and that anyone going against her new boss is long past the point where death threats (no matter how painful) hold any more significance than the litany of others they'd be subjected to.
• Did Not See That Coming: Goes both ways between Issei and the entire Underworld in Chapter 3. Nobody in the Underworld expected Issei's sudden appearance, and Issei is utterly shocked to realize that the Maous he confronts are a lot tougher than the ones he knows.
  Issei: What the absolute dildo-swinging, reverse cowgirl, horseshit fuck is going on?
• Disappointed by the Motive: Tossed both ways by Issei and Karasuba. Issei is unimpressed with Kara's Blood Knight tendencies, while Kara is dismissive towards Issei's harem obsession.
• Disappointed in You: Shirou is not happy to find out that Issei and Karasuba got into an argument that nearly escalated to violence against his specific instructions. He sends Issei to the grocery store with Illya and reads Kara the riot act, though she stands firm. While outwardly apathetic, Issei is deeply upset that his only friend in the ADLH world is displeased with him.
• Distracted by the Sexy: ADLH!Issei and Saji spend the entire Beach Episode staring at girls in bikinis.
• Dope Slap: Sun Wukong whacks Issei and Karasuba with his staff when their heated argument is just about to lead to a fight.
• The Dreaded:
  • Issei becomes this to the Underworld at large after his fight with the Maous.
  • The mere sight of Asia causes Issei to freak out and hide behind a sofa.
  • Sona is feared by everyone at Kuoh Academy, including the teachers, much to Issei's surprise.
  • Ophis is one of the few beings that Issei simply cannot take on in a straight-up fight. When she appears before him, Issei pales, and his fear of her is not Played for Laughs.
• Dynamic Entry: An unintended example, but Sona summons Issei by accident during the Gathering, and his fear of being in crowds kick-starts a fight between him and the Maous.
• Embarrassing Nickname:
  • Issei calls Sona "Enabler 2.0", even though she isn't one. She pointedly ignores it.
  • He still calls Koneko/Shirone "Jaibait", but decides to stop doing so in Shirou's presence, as it makes the latter uncomfortable.
• Entertainingly Wrong: Issei assumes that he was summoned deliberately so that Serafall can force him to cosplay for her, because apparently the one he knows did that at least once.
• Enraged by Idiocy: After Shirou pulls off a risky rescue in Chapter 8, Issei bitterly sympathizes with Rin Tohsaka's own exasperation with Shirou's antics. Illya promptly suggests that Issei should dress up like Rin, even openly hypothesizing that Serafall has a wig and stockings in her closet.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • GAIWP!Issei is an unrepentant pervert and breast fetishist, but unlike his counterpart, he's no peeping Tom and firmly believes that the Perverted Trio should have been expelled long ago for their actions.
  • When his counterpart asks if Issei's backstory involves him doing something similar to Makoto Iito, Issei freaks out and vehemently denies this.
  • Issei also makes it clear that, despite his quirky behavior, he is very grateful to Shirou for taking him in and is all too happy to get rid of people who are pestering his host.
  • Neither Issei nor Ddraig are impressed to discover that ADLH!Ddraig tried to get Karasuba to act like an Evil Dragon instead of a Dragon Emperor, which explains why she's so cynical and not as powerful as she could be.
• Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: When asked about the Irina from his world, Issei starts talking about "him", then slowly realizes that Irina was a girl all along. He calmly excuses himself from the room, then unleashes a torrent of swears at this realization.
• Fanboy: A more subdued one, but Issei asks for Shirou's autograph after confirming his identity, and declares him to be one of the most well-developed protagonists of the Type-Moon franchise.
• Fluffy the Terrible: Miss Peanut Wigglebutt, Asia's familiar, is a massive, vicious, nine-headed, rum ham-stealing hydra.
• Foil: Issei to Karasuba. Both are dragon emperors with mental issues that make them difficult to be around, both are very blunt and sharp-tongued, and both are devoted to their parents. However, Issei was provided with multiple teachers, has a sane Ddraig, and prefers to mope about his rotten luck while giving the many people whom have the means and the willingness to help him the cold shoulder (though it should be noted that some of those trying to help him are also desiring to utilize him and have not been forthright with him such as Ajuka and Sirzechs); Kara had only one teacher (albeit an ungodly powerful one), her Ddraig is batshit insane and keeps trying to dominate her, and yet she tries to take the initiative and confront her problems head-on while also being utterly (and openly) devoted to the very small number of people (her parents) who tried to help her. This also extends to when they get into an argument: Issei tellingly does not refute any criticism leveled towards him, preferring to change the subject or say clichéd lines; Kara is actually willing to answer any claims made against her before firing back, and prefers to stay on-topic.
• Food as Bribe: After Shirou manages to enrage Ophis by dissolving UBW before she was done relaxing in it and getting her hopes up by showing her Excalibur, she demands that he make it up to her for her now greatly increased homesickness. He sheepishly offers to take her to the nearest (intact) kitchen and whip up a meal for her, but Serafall intervenes before she can respond.
• Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Issei and Karasuba invoke this trope towards one another, with Issei regarding Kara as a cowardly "murder hobo" who can't get her story straight; while Kara regards Issei as a pretentious, cowardly, unmotivated hypocrite who takes his remarkably comfortable situation and the people who want to help him (of which there are many—far more than those whom were willing to help her) for granted. The issue gets more heated in Chapter 10, with Issei once again refusing to show her any sympathy even after getting more details about her backstory, all while being a massive hypocrite the entire time. Shirou calls him out on it, and Issei simply redirects the subject and continues to insult her. Sona lampshades this in the next chapter, pointing out how Issei holds others to a higher standard than he is willing to live, and thus, his criticisms toward Shirou are meaningless.
• From Bad to Worse: A character example, in that Karasuba finds this new Issei to be worse than the one she knows, largely because he has the power to improve his lot in life and said lot is pretty damned good already, but he just sits on his ass watching porn while bemoaning how shitty his life supposedly is, just like her brother.
• Godzilla Threshold: The Maous are so strong, smart, and creative that Issei very nearly summons Ghost to deal with them.
• Graceful Loser:
  • Karasuba takes her loss to Issei, and her subsequently being stuffed in a box, in stride, declaring that her combat instructor did that all the time.
  • Vali reacts pretty much the same way, even chatting a bit with Issei after the latter realizes he can't stuff Vali into a box and mail him anywhere.
• Hates Being Touched: Issei doesn't like physical contact. The fact that Shirou can touch him without setting him off is enough for Issei to decide that he is trustworthy.
• Hidden Depths: When Serafall declares that things have changed drastically since Shirou's arrival (in a good way), Issei looks a little hurt for an instant. He also, despite occasional acts of trolling, does consider Shirou a friend and doesn't want to upset him.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Issei concludes that Karasuba flip-flops between being a psychopath and a sociopath. She is, in fact, neither of these things and Shirou is quick to point this out. Not that it prevents him from continuing to drop bricks on her.
• Hypocrite: Issei insults Serafall for having a "shoot first, ask questions later" mindset, but her actions were triggered by his own knee-jerk reaction to being in a crowded arena, and even then, he chose to escalate the situation when the Maous tried to be diplomatic and get him to back down. She even calls him out on this.
  • He later dubs Karasuba a coward for trying to get herself killed just to get rid of Ddraig. Kara is having none of it. After refuting his claims, she bluntly states that he's in no position to call someone a coward, since he prefers to sit on his ass, watch porn, and wallow in self-pity rather than even try to do something about his problems, despite being capable of doing so, and being much more well-off than his behavior would suggest. He responds by pettily claiming that none of her supposed accomplishments were really made by her, but this rings hollow, too, as he had multiple people from various factions to help him along the way—and, as Kara later points out, would gladly try to help him with his current problems if he would just let them, but he doesn't and treats them shabbily. Oh, and he doesn't even bother to refute any of her accusations, which further proves her point.
  • In Chapter 10, Issei labels Karasuba as one for being a judgmental bully who refuses to apologize for treating others like trash while hiding behind her Freudian Excuse to justify her mean-spirited behavior. The irony isn't lost on Shirou, who calls Issei out on this, with Issei making no attempt to deny it while still hurling verbal refuse at Karasuba and those whom he holds responsible for enabling her behavior (including Shirou himself). The argument ends badly, with Shirou punching Issei in the face for pushing his buttons and Issei walking off, the issue unresolved and Issei having once again diverted the subject to evade being forced to address the bare fact that he has no business judging Kara for things he does just as often for the same reasons.
• Hypocrite Has a Point: Issei really has no business judging Karasuba's behavior, but he's not wrong that her many, many issues need to be addressed. This is dampened somewhat by his being called out on his hypocrisy and simply refusing to address it.
• Irony: Karasuba's Familiar, a shoebill chick named Yume, was bullied and nearly starved to death by her older sibling. Kara took pity on the creature and took her in. This isn't lost on Issei or Shirou, both of whom figure it's best not to discuss it.
• I Choose to Stay: Averted. Issei internally notes that the ADLH world has its pros—such as no Carnelian Bael and being inhabited by people who are smart and strong enough to deal with their own problems rather than constantly ask him for help—but he also feels that he can't abandon his mother nor his remaining supporters.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Given the situation they find themselves in, Shirou and Issei are not going to want to stay sober. Issei outright declares this at the end of Chapter 3, giving the story its title, and that image at the top confirms that they're going to get habitually wasted in the future.
  • Come the next chapter, and they do get drinks, courtesy of Asia. They all get drunk and shoot the breeze until they pass out.
• In Spite of a Nail: Karasuba still kills Heracles by crushing his skull.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Karasuba starts a heated argument with Issei against Shirou's explicit instructions. When Shirou angrily confronts her about it after sending Issei away, she stands her ground and refutes every argument he makes in Issei's defense: to Shirou's claim that Issei isn't a jerk, Kara responds that Issei is nice to him, but is a complete prick to everyone else unless they just go along with everything he says or can kick his ass; when Shirou points out that Kara had people to help her get through tragic events, Kara says that Issei had even more people to support him than she did (including a sane Ddraig), but he utterly refuses to show them gratitude and acts like his lot in life is worse than it really is; she finishes up by declaring that Issei has to want to get better, and his behavior suggests that he doesn't. Shirou can't refute her words.
• Jerkass to One: Inverted. Issei is abrasive and snarky to everybody, but he's slightly more civil to Shirou, calling him by name rather than a mocking nickname and asking for an autograph after confirming his identity.
• Manipulative Bastard: ADLH!Ddraig convinced Karasuba that Dragon Emperors are supposed to be nihilistic, anti-social destroyers in order to isolate, and therefore have more control over, her. Issei bluntly declares that such behavior is reserved for Evil Dragons.
• Mood Whiplash: Shirou pulls Ophis into his Reality Marble in the hopes of getting her to back down with an endless supply of anti-dragon weapons. Instead, Ophis is overjoyed because, being "unlimited", the realm feels almost exactly like the Dimensional Gap she was evicted from, thus allowing her to relax for the first time in millenia. She even throws a childish tantrum when he dissolves it.
• Mook Chivalry: Averted when Issei fights the Maous. They come at him all at once and do not let up, working to box him in. This actually poses a problem for Issei as his fighting style emphasizes maneuverability.
• Mythology Gag: Like in Third Fang's original story, Issei uses a pre-recorded reading of the Bible by Gabriel to incapacitate Diodora Astaroth. Ironically, he did this to prevent the stupid little shit from getting chopped to pieces by Shirou.
• Never My Fault: Tossed both ways by Issei and Serafall. Issei claims that Serafall started the fight at the arena; Serafall fires back that Issei flaring his Presence posed a threat to her sister's safety; Issei says that he already warned her about his aversion to crowded areas, but his summoning to the arena was not intentional, his reaction to this occurrence was knee-jerk, and he immediately acted hostile towards the Maous for reasons he refused to elaborate upon, which comes off as even worse here since three of them didn't even know who he was and actually tried to talk things out with him. Shirou gently elaborates on Serafall's mindset (and confirms that she didn't summon Issei) in the following chapter, and Issei drops the subject.
  • When the incident is brought up in Chapter 7, Serafall lays the blame for it squarely on Issei—and quickly adds that he's got no business trying to throw the blame around, as it was his impulsive action in response to a confirmed accident that forced the Maous. Issei actually shuts up and, again, changes the subject.
• No-Nonsense Nemesis: When Ophis shows up, she wastes little time establishing her dominance over Issei, gives him only the barest of chances to explain himself, and is just about to finish him off when Shirou arrives and bails him out.
• No-Sell:
  • Shirou, like in ADLH proper, is immune to everything holy. As shown in Chapter 12, this includes Issei's phone trick, much to the latter's surprise.
  • Shirou uses at least three Noble Phantasms against Ophis, including Excalibur, and they don't inflict any damage whatsoever.
• No Sympathy: Issei and Karasuba are thoroughly unsympathetic towards one another, and their shameless willingness to engage in heated verbal spars nearly leads to violence in Chapter 7. Even after getting more details about Kara's backstory, Issei is still unsympathetic and insulting towards her, leading to a very heated argument with an exasperated Shirou in Chapter 10.
• Not So Stoic:
  • Pushing Issei's Trauma Button will cause him to openly panic. He also screams and hides behind a sofa at the sight of Asia.
  • Shirou's Pawns are normally emotionless, to the point of which Issei wonders aloud what could break them. Shirou calmly reveals that comparing them to the Ninja Turtles would do the trick, much to Issei's amusement.
• Oh, Crap!:
  • Issei freaks out when he finds himself surrounded by an arena audience. He gets another one when he realizes that the Maous are tougher than he expected, and then he totally flips out when he sees Asia.
  • Sona is horrified when she comes face-to-face with Karasuba, inadvertently summoning Issei as a result.
  • Shirou becomes genuinely afraid when he realizes he'll have to carry Karasuba to her parents' house after her mother invites him over for dinner.
  • Shirou gets another one when Issei compares Xenovia to a Monty Python character, though mercifully she doesn't get the reference. He still viciously swears to make Issei pay dearly for it, to which Issei simply chuckles.
  • Issei is horrified when Xenovia reveals that Shirou gave her Clarent. He keeps it together outwardly, but the expressions he and Shirou exchange make it clear that he is frightened and angry.
  • Issei becomes absolutely terrified when he comes face-to-face with Ophis, one of the few beings who can overpower him. He gets another one when she announces her intent to kill him.
  • Issei has another one when he realizes that Irina is a girl. And his voice rises in pitch when she introduces him to Fou.
• One-Man Army: Issei manages to hold off all four Maous working together. They ultimately manage to box him in, however, and make him decide to unleash Ghost, though Shirou puts a stop to that.
• Only Friend: As of Chapter 3's ending, Issei seems to trust Shirou enough to want him around. He even grabs Shirou's wrist when the latter attempts to leave the room they are in, silently indicating that he needs Shirou close to him right now. He later calls Shirou a "bro", further signifying his high opinion of the guy.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
  • Issei is astonished to learn that ADLH!Sona was convinced to wear a tracksuit and go through physical training under Shirou, as the one back in his world would never do that. Judging by his expression, Shirou quickly deduces that Issei intends to change that once he is sent home.
  • Shirou, likely due to being drunk, finally begins to lose his patience with Issei in Chapter 11—not because he finds Issei's behavior annoying (he does, but he can tolerate it because Issei makes a point to treat him civilly), but because his new friend simply refuses to help himself because he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He very bluntly states that Issei does have people whom are willing to help him, despite everything, and that he needs to stop cursing his own existence and let others give him what he needs.
  • ADLH Issei quickly deduces that something horrible happened to his counterpart based on the simple fact that despite being just as perverted as him, said counterpart hasn't so much as uttered a word about harems.
• Other Me Annoys Me: Zigzagged with Issei regarding his ADLH counterpart. Despite expressing reluctance to interact with him, once he does the two bond over their shared love of harems and porn. He even expresses sympathy with said counterpart having to grow up with Karasuba as a sister, and teaches him several ways to use Twice Critical more effectively. That said, he's greatly annoyed by his counterparts tendency to say the worst thing, as well as his general lack of common sense. Also has shades of I Hate Past Me given how long it's been since his teachers knocked those traits out of him.
• Pet the Dog:
  • When Issei learns that Kiba is trying to learn about porn, he disposes of the "amateur" material loaned to the Knight by his counterpart and decides to oversee his porn education personally, without prompting.
  • Despite not being very fond of Issei, Sona gives him some sound advice about dealing with his issues, even using herself as an example.
  • Despite expressing reluctance to so much as interact with his counterpart, Issei gives his counterpart plenty of tips on how to improve and is quite patient while explaining the mechanics behind them.
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Ophis is an adorable little lolita... and an unstoppable monster who can crush Issei like a tin can with one finger.
• Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: When Issei calls Gasper "Dio", nobody gets the reference. Confused, Issei checks the internet, and is horrified to discover that the JoJo manga doesn't exist in the ADLH world.
• Physical God: Ophis, the Ouroboros Dragon. Even Issei can't stand up to her.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: The Maous do try to talk a hopping mad Issei down before things get nasty. Even in the midst of the fight, Sirzechs keeps trying to reason with him.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
  • Deconstructed. Issei and Karasuba give these to one another, but the combination of them being perceptive enough to hone in on one another's flaws and not having much of the context behind why they developed them in the first place means all they do is piss each other off rather than any kind of emotional breakthrough. In each case it causes the situation to rapidly deteriorate into violence.
  • Sona gives Shirou a polite but firm one in Chapter 11, pointing out that Shirou's main strengths are fighting, training others, cooking, etc.; not verbal debates. This allowed Issei to get around Shirou's (correct) accusations of hypocrisy and make it look like the Wrought Iron Hero left his counterpart out to dry when, in fact, looking after the other Issei was never Shirou's responsibility in the first place; and even if it was, he has so many other things to deal with that, objectively, are more important.
  • Issei and GAIWP!Ddraig give one to ADLH!Ddraig in the aftermath of the formers rematch with Karasuba, noting that his sense of pride has no basis given he's been sealed away for millennia, and his greatest achievements during that time have boiled down to torturing whatever poor sap ends up saddled with him. They even point out his insistence on being an Ax-Crazy lunatic has actually hindered his current host, despite her immense potential, and left his reputation as something akin to a rabid dog rather than the mighty dragon he once was.
• Ridiculously Cute Critter: Lily, Shirou's familiar, looks like a mini-Saber in cute lion pajamas.
• Sacred Hospitality: Issei does not make a good first impression on the Sitris, but they still give him a bedroom (with WiFi) as an apology for accidentally summoning him.
• Sanity Slippage: Something is causing the Dragons to become increasingly feral, with even Ophis beginning to suffer the effects. Issei deduces the cause in Chapter 16, but hasn't offered anymore details yet.
• Screams Like a Little Girl: Issei does, as demonstrated in Chapter 11.
• Security Blanket: Shirou puts a literal one over Issei's shoulders before escorting him out of the arena.
• Sentimental Drunk:
  • In Chapter 4, Issei becomes more chatty with Shirou and Asia after getting hammered, though Shirou notes this chattiness is better described as ranting. They even manage to get a few laughs out of him, though he doesn't smile while doing so.
  • The same thing happens again in Chapter 11, though this time Issei talks more about his past.
• Ship Sinking: Sirzechs is adamant that Issei be kept away from Rias, and Issei has no interest in meeting her, either.
• Shout-Out:
  • Issei dubs Xenovia "Patsy" and gives her two halves of a coconut shell, instructing her to clack them together while walking behind Shirou until he can get an actual mount.
  • Issei compares Shirou's Pawns to the Ninja Turtles, and laughs when they bitterly inform him that he's not the first one to do so.
• Show Within a Show: Shirou assumes that Issei watched the show Sera created about him, but Issei reveals that Shirou is a fictional character where he comes from. He even talks about the different routes, much to Shirou's surprise.
• Shut Up, Hannibal!:
  • GAIWP!Ddraig bluntly mocks his counterpart for being an Ax-Crazy Blood Knight.
  • Karasuba dismisses one of Issei's typical rants as "bitching", and when he later tries to intimidate her with his Presence after she makes a guess about his past, she concludes that said guess was accurate and tells him to cut the theatrics.
• Single-Stroke Battle: Ophis casually defeats Sairaiorg, Regulus, and Xenovia with nothing more than a finger poke.
• Smarter Than You Look:
  • Asia may be a hard-drinking ditz, but she's pretty sharp. Notably, she can tell when injuries are self-inflicted, thus Diodora Astaroth's attempt to get her excommunicated by healing an injury he inflicted upon himself—and therefore giving him the chance to forcefully add her to his Peerage—didn't work.
  • Karasuba is an Ax-Crazy Blood Knight, but even when completely enraged she retains enough presence of mind to set up a Wounded Gazelle Gambit, and picks up on the tricks Issei teaches her rather fast.
• Smug Snake: Diodora Astaroth is a thoroughly pompous imbecile who tries to bully Shirou, the Queen piece of a Maou who came within a hair's breadth of killing Sirzechs, into surrendering a member of his Peerage. Issei using his phone trick to incapacitate him is the only thing that prevents Shirou from brutally killing him.
• Spanner in the Works: Issei very nearly unleashes Ghost during his fight with the Maous, which ends up putting him on Ophis's radar. When he realizes this, cue Face Palm.
• Stealth Expert: Shirou's Pawns. Issei even admits that, while he can sense their presence, he can't pinpoint their exact location.
• Strange Minds Think Alike: Sun Wukong has no issues keeping pace with several of Issei's tangents, agreeing with him on the usefulness of stuffing people in boxes and saying "good man" upon hearing the format he used for writing a document full of the ways a single Boost can kill a person.
• Stupid Evil: Issei and Ddraig's opinion of the latter's ADLH counterpart, noting his insistence on his hosts acting as he does, i.e., an Ax-Crazy maniac willing to kill anything and anyone who so much as inconveniences him, and eroding their sanity until they comply makes them significantly less effective than allowing them to develop naturally. They consider Karasuba to have grown as strong as she has in spite of him rather than because of him.
• Supreme Chef: Shirou. Even Issei doesn't hesitate to compliment his cooking skills. Ophis is so awed by his cooking skills that she decides to abduct him.
• Sweet Tooth: Ophis likes chocolate. After tasting some homemade chocolates made my Shirou, she decides to kidnap him and make him her personal chef.
• Thanks for the Mammaries: In Chapter 4, Shirou passes out after a few rounds of binge-drinking, and wakes up to find Serafall has grabbed one of his hands and placed it on one of her breasts, to his thorough embarrassment. Both Serafall and Issei consider him lucky.
• This Cannot Be!:
  • Issei's reaction to finding out that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure doesn't exist in the ADLH world. He freaks out, produces multiple volumes, and demands that they be published.
  • Issei has a similar reaction to the revelation that, unlike his GAIWP counterpart, ADLH!Riser Phenex doesn't refer to himself in third-person. He immediately concludes that this world's Riser must be an imposter, and insists that Shirou check for a "sad potato" birthmark.
• This Is Unforgivable!: Issei reacts casually to Miss Peanut Wigglebutt's presence... until she stealthily eats the run ham Shirou was cooking, then the gloves come off.
• Title Drop: Issei says the story's title word-for-word at the end of Chapter 3.
• Trauma Button:
  • Thinking about women's asses causes the scars on Vali's own ass to throb, so he has to suppress his burgeoning ass fetish.
  • ADLH!Issei shows PTSD symptoms at the mere sight of Angel wings, as shown in Chapter 18.
• Troll:
  • Serafall pretends to be angry with Shirou after Issei discloses her Queen's sexual exploits in the various routes from the visual novel, and then reveals she knows Shirou never did any of that because she looked through his memories after obtaining his soul.
  • While Issei is somewhat more polite to Shirou, he still calls Illya a "murder loli" to his face with a thumbs-up and Bishie Sparkle just to annoy him. He also calls Stheno Sitri a Mall Santa, though he's apparently not the first one to mistake the Sitri patriarch for Santa Claus.
• Unfriendly Fire: Karasuba is such a bloodthirsty, mentally damaged sadist that she would be a hindrance to anyone trying to aid her (or is at least on the same side as her) in combat. Issei is asked to fix that problem, since she's now part of a Peerage and needs to learn about teamwork.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Karasuba accuses Issei of being this, as everything he's been willing to say about his life clearly shows that he's got a lot to be thankful for, but he prefers to mope and act like his life is in the shitter.
• The Worf Effect: Issei holds his own against the Maous and stomps both Karasuba and Vali. And then Ophis shows up and proceeds to wreck him with nothing more than a finger poke.
• Worf Had the Flu: Maybe. When Issei actually finds himself struggling against the Maous, he concludes that either his powers are easier to counter because he's in a different world; he's gotten rusty after almost half a decade of being a shut-in hikikomori; these Maous are stronger than the ones he knows (they are); or a combination of the three.
• Won't Take "Yes" for an Answer: Shirou assumes that Issei will be reluctant to get Zekram Bael off his back and has a list of things he's prepared to do in return for Issei doing so. To his surprise, Issei immediately agrees to do it because he considers Shirou a friend and he hates Zekram's guts, regardless of which version of Zekram it is.
• Xanatos Gambit: Issei deduces that Zekram's placing Shirou in the Rating Games is designed to kill Sona's dream of opening a school for Reincarnates regardless of Shirou's performance: if he loses, it'll be brushed off as not worth the effort; if he wins, he'll be put on a pedestal that few, if any, Reincarnates would be able to reach, so supporting the project would be pointless.
• You Can't Fight Fate: Karasuba believes that Sacred Gear wielders, especially dragon emperors, are destined to be Cosmic Playthings, and deduces that Issei tried to defy this anyway and suffered terribly for it. He gets angry and tries to intimidate her, but she simply mocks him.
• You Do Not Want To Know:
  • Issei mentions having a friend who probably could cross dimensions and take him back to his world, but said person would be an absolute last resort and would likely make things worse. He refuses to elaborate further, insisting that Shirou is better off not knowing anymore than that.
  • Later, when introduced to Lily, Issei references Carnival Phantasm, and when Shirou asks for details, Issei responds with this trope.

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