Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. this results in the reversed flow of time somehow accelerating, and this destroys the planet as the big bang eventually happens in reverse, undoing the universe entirely.

I wish people were completely immune to viruses.

"Paldea has a lot of different Pokemon from those in Kitakami." - Carmine

Granted, now bacteria develop nigh-invulnerability thanks to the death of the rival pathogens.

---

I wish I could lose weight.

Pantheon Wick Cleaning

Granted. You are now stranded on a desert island and are starving

I wish I had the motivation to clean my room

Granted: you clean it. That means getting rid of EVERTHING.

I wish political ads were illegal.

Ozzy Xlinder and I are one and the same.

This ends up amounting to an IRL Ban on Politics, which is both insufferable and impossible to complain about without getting in trouble.

I wish I could cosplay androgynous characters without fear of being mistaken for a guy.

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer

Granted. You gain the power of chameleon-tier cosplay, but due to the “How-Do-I-Shot-Web” effect, you continue to change uncontrollably between multiple characters in rapid succession.

I wish I could see an alternate scenario. Preferably one where Min Min and Pyra/Mythra were included in the Smash Ultimate base roster as originally intended, and the possible DLC fighters who would be in their place during the 2nd Fighters Pass.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Oct 26th 2021 at 10:49:08 AM

Granted. Min Min is replaced with Tingle, and Pyra/Mythra are replaced with Kaepora Gaebora, who are both universally considered Joke Characters. Are you happy now, You Bastard!?

I wish I could fly a biplane.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted. You are now a British air pilot drafted into World War 2.

I wish Butch Hartman was the developer/showrunner for MLP G5 instead.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Oct 27th 2021 at 11:06:42 AM

Granted. It's an OAXIS exclusive and has been bowdlerized to death.

I wish I had an infinite source of delicious food.

I do some cleanup and then I enjoy shows you probably think are cringe.

Granted. It’s delicious…and also made from human flesh.

I wish I was a superhero.

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.

Granted. You’re one of several to have been vaporized by The Snap.

I wish were a Little Black Rain Cloud, hovering under the Honey Tree.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Oct 27th 2021 at 11:25:48 AM

Granted: You're the rain cloud, and you die after some showers.

I wish my eye doctor exam took less time then it did. (no blindness, thank you)

Edited by LilCutie on Oct 27th 2021 at 8:22:09 AM

Ozzy Xlinder and I are one and the same.

Granted. Due to you finishing early, you try to get back home on a bus that ends up falling into a river, killing everyone including you aboard.

I wish I felt great every morning.

"Paldea has a lot of different Pokemon from those in Kitakami." - Carmine

Granted. You feel so great that you never want to get out of bed ever again.

I wish Earthbound's North American ad campaign accurately reflected the game's content instead of focusing exclusively on Toilet Humor.

"My job here is done." "But you didn't do anything."

Granted. Unfortunately the marketting turns out to not be effective, and the game's sales go down.

I wish to be superhuman.

"Know your place, fool."

Granted. You end up being tier 6 on the Super Weight scale, and you accidentally destroy the entire planet and asphyxiate to death from the lack of atmosphere.

I wish I had a Nice Girl girlfriend so I could be nicer.

"Paldea has a lot of different Pokemon from those in Kitakami." - Carmine

Granted: she was faking it.

I wish I had more to do from the Roblox servers crashing.

Edited by LilCutie on Oct 31st 2021 at 12:40:36 PM

Ozzy Xlinder and I are one and the same.

Granted. You're forced to play Bad Mobile Games until the servers go back up.

---

I wish for a massive dresser with a lot of clothes inside

"As president of KaibaCorp, I declare your argument as invalid!!!"

Granted. All the clothes are torn everywhere.

I wish for the ability to enjoy any media no matter how bad it is.

The true power of us human beings is that we can change ourselves on our own.

Granted, all the show you have watched turned out to be plagiarized.

---

I wish Yoylecakes are sold in Walmart stores.

Granted. Somebody stabs you to death for it after you buy one.

I wish I didn't have writer's block.

Granted. You now have a block in your head instead. Hey, that rhymes!

I wish to be able to shapeshift.

"Know your place, fool."

Granted. You shapeshift into a cockroach and get stepped on.

I wish drivers weren't so rude where I live.

Edited by Elec-1 on Nov 1st 2021 at 7:39:37 AM

Granted. Everyone drives way more slowly to avoid any problems.

I wish I could go back to being a kid again.

Ever wanted to see the most inexplicably horrifying intro to a game ever?

Congrats, you're now a kid forever.

Have fun.

---

I wish for an infinite box of assorted donuts.

"As president of KaibaCorp, I declare your argument as invalid!!!"