Corrupt-a-wish.

granted. they lick.. um. things that would get this post hollered to hell and back.
i wish for a hat that doesn't eat me.

Granted - you get a hat that fights you, then a hat that teases you and then a hat that teaches you the meaning of Christmas (and also fights you).

I wish all tropers had anime powers!

Granted. Everyone gets the "powers" of characters in a mundane Slice of Life anime- i.e. the same abilities as normal people.

I wish that all TV shows relating to the buying and selling of antiques and collectables be cancelled with no replacements to fill the niche.

Granted. With nothing to air in the middle of the night, several channels go blank.

I wish that Somali pirates worked more like the pirates of legend.

Granted. Pirating increases due to improved tactics and stylish clothes.

I wish to be a moderator here on TVT

Granted. You get overwhelmed with all the work you have to do as a mod that you never have any free time.

I wish it was 20 degrees warmer in Minnesota today.

granted! i raise it 20 degrees Celsius, which likely sets everything on fire.

i wish adobe flash player wasn't dying. i'm gonna miss those flash games nooo :(

Well... i was gonna give you a subverted wish... but i'm also saddened... so... have an HTML 5 cartoon... hooraaaaay....

Okay, i wish for a bruh moment.

A talking camel says "Bruh" at you.

I wish I had an Superhero Episode about my own life, that didn't have The Hero Dies moment (since the hero is clearly me).

Bruuuuuuh...you really shouldn't have tried to pretend you were the Fonz by doing nothing but wearing a leather jacket with a popped collar. Not only that, but Fonzie doesn't say "Yooooo!" He says... *hastily reads paper* "Ayyyyyy!"

Granted. You're one of the Wonder Twins...but your other twin is permanently M.I.A., so you can't activate your Wonder Twin Powers.

I wish I could hit myself over the head multiple times and Feel No Pain.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Nov 15th 2019 at 5:18:32 AM

It still does damage, leaving you brain dead.

I wish I could own a restaurant

Granted. The food you make does not fit your area of expertise at all, and none of the townsfolk like this stuff. Good luck, bud.

I wish, I wish, I was a fish in the ocean.

Granted, but the problem is that you got eaten by a shark the minute you swam in the water.

I wish for 2 cents

Granted. You have to listen and agree with a person whose opinions are the opposite of your own.

I wish that I could t-pose everyday.

Granted, you can T-pose now. Unfortunately, that's the only thing you can do from now on. No other poses for you. You can walk, but your arms hurt like hell. And you can't eat or do anything else.

I wish I was a Hot Witch Classic in a society that accepts them. None of that Burn the Witch! bullshit.

Granted, but you're THE WORST Hot Witch. You're basically Samantha Stevens' looks with Akko Kagari's skills.

I wish I could farm.

Granted, you can farm, but you wished you could farm. So your work yourself to death and if anyone helps you, your crops fail.

I wish that all tropers could teleport.....

Wizardry rules apply and teleporting into rocks means instant death.

i wish for a cool hat.

Edited by Awe921 on Nov 16th 2019 at 11:10:15 AM

Granted. It's 0K, this being "cool" i.e. cold. Have fun freezing to death!

I wish for drug

The genie gives you 10cc of "drug", a one time dose that can cure what ails you as it's the very concept of "drug" in a 10cc syringe. But it only works once.

I wish for a turtledove to fly around my hometown.

Granted, it shits on your face every day.

I wish for a rubix cube.

Granted. It's unsolvable because every tile is a different color.

I wish I had my own Star Trek starship.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Nov 17th 2019 at 5:54:19 AM

You can't fly and maintain a Galaxy-class flagship by yourself, in fact, you accidentally blow it up with yourself on board

I wish people liked me

no

I wish I could always win at rock-paper-scissors.

Granted, but in other games you suck. Thats your only good trait.

i wish fish weren't harmed (In a waste-like way)