Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted! You get a musical keyboard instead of a computer keyboard. Also it's made of a new material that's so heavy it takes a forklift just to move it.

I wish same-sex couples could have children at the same rate, risk, and preventability as straight couples.

Granted, but because the process involves cloning, the gene pool becomes smaller with each generation.

I wish I took percussion in band class, rather than trumpet.

granted. someone sets your hair on fire during a band class. (i took percussion and this actually happened to me)

i wish i hadn't broken my phone.

granted. your phone disappeared to another dimension.

i wish i can make the universe sad

Sure. Now your OTP will never get together because they're too depressed.

I wish for a lot of people to love each other, so the world can be a better place to live.

Granted, but now the world is written like a BMovie, And That's Terrible.

I wish I lived in a less cockroach filled apartment.

Granted. We change places, I get the cockroaches, you get all the garbage and mold in my house.

I wish that one startup program didn't mess up my downloads folder, so I don't have to reinstall everything.

Edited by atimnie on Aug 10th 2019 at 11:37:04 AM

Granted. It keeps pestering you to update to the latest version, and there's no way to turn the update notifications off.

I wish to be a Jazz great.

Granted. The program crashes your entire system instead.

Granted. You're now Clifford Brown and it's June 25th, 1956.

I wish for any and all wish-granting entities, with the exception of the benevolent ones as currently defined under Benevolent Genie, to be forever banished to an empty dimension that they cannot escape from no matter what, cannot bring others into the dimension with them, and cannot influence our dimension in any other way, to the point that even wishing to a Benevolent Genie for their freedom will not work.

Edited by DelphineTheDelphox on Aug 10th 2019 at 9:51:07 AM

Granted. Unfortunately, you stub your toe on a genie lamp and become a genie, which causes you to be banished to the realm you wished for.

I wish for Don Knotts.

Granted, but I kinda forgot who Don Knotts was, so here's the closest thing I can muster: a time at Knott's Berry Farm.

I wish I can. Not anything specific, I just wish I can.

Granted. Unfortunately, that was your only wish for the day, and Jambi rubs it in your face for the rest of the episode. Mekka-lekka, Mothafucka!

I wish to be the coolest cool in the cool-iverse.

Granted. You freeze to death

I wish for a Healing Factor

NINJA EDIT: Granted. Your healing factor is one, so your injuries still only heal at a normal human rate.

I wish Snoopy and Garfield could talk.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Aug 10th 2019 at 3:49:28 PM

Granted, their lines are an Author Tract about how you suck.

I wish I felt better.

Edited by The_Dag on Aug 10th 2019 at 11:10:22 AM

Granted. You feel so fantastic, everyone around you feels horrible by comparison.

I wish there were no pages on the wiki that needed cleaning...

Granted. The Wiki begins to focus on it's forums instead of troping, thus resulting in TV Tropes becoming a second 4chan, with a little Reddit on the side.

I wish all cars suddenly became 100% electric.

Granted. They don't have a very long battery life, so you can only go a few miles before you have to plug them in for several hours.

I wish to be close friends with Caitlin Snow, and for no harm to come to her.

Granted. All the harm comes to you instead.

I wish for a fourth and good Sonic Riders.

Granted - the 4th Sonic Riders is a Japan exclusive with a limited release. Due to low sales it's discontinued.

I wish for my neighbors to stop playing techno at 3AM when I'm trying to sleep.

Granted. They play Death Metal instead.

I wish Griffith had refused the God Hand's offer.

Bump

He does. The story takes a hard turn for the worst upsetting all fans.

I wish for a pumpkin pie

Granted. I throw the pumpkin pie onto your face.

I wish for a million dollars, not for myself, but for the company I work at.

Granted. It's stolen from another company, who sues yours into bankruptcy.

I wish that I was one inch ahead of my current position.