Fix a wish!

Granted! It's barely a hurricane (low category 1), and only its southwestern (and weakest) part ever touches said part of the country. No casualties were ever reported.

I wish for the video game industry to collapse (again).

Granted, but it rapidly recovers, stronger than ever before.

I wish that I lived on the surface of Mars.

Granted, but it now has an atmosphere suitable for humans to survive in.

I wish to get an F in all my college classes.

Granted. The F actually stands for “Fantastic”.

I wish that I would be killed in the most gruesome way possible.

You are subjected to slow slicing. However, for every instance of pain from a single slice, you experience orgasmic pleasure. And when you die you are reincarnated in a body right next to your favorite character, in your favorite work.

I wish Walter Benjamin was captured by the Nazis, and thrown in the Chambers after nearly being worked to death.

Edited by KeironCioran on Feb 23rd 2019 at 3:40:42 AM

Granted, the gas pellets were faulty and he ended up escaping the camp.

I wish for a nuclear war.

Granted, but instead of waging war against each other, we send it against those pesky Little Green Men

I wish to be flattened by a falling 10-tonne anvil

Edited by RaisusTheFlammie on Feb 26th 2019 at 11:02:50 AM

CamelCase trope titles with multiple words, and use two sets of square brackets for singularly-worded trope titles. For example LittleGreenMen becomes Little Green Men and {{Dramedy}} becomes Dramedy.

As for your wish: Granted! It's an anvil designed to invoke Amusing Injuries via Toon Physics. After the Accordion Man gag plays for a few seconds, you'll be juuuust fine!

I wish to create the most useless machine ever.

Granted. The machine is of a Rube Goldberg variety, and people are so amazed by it's sheer uselessness that they are willing to pay to see it function.

I wish for Junji Ito to stop making manga.

Granted, he makes animes of his works instead.

I wish DDLC was banned.

Granted. Daily DownLoadable Content no longer exists. No more microtransaction-laden bullshit for anyone! (Side effect: A large swath of the global mobile game market collapses).

I wish Uwe Boll would go back to making shitty movies.

Granted, they're the So Bad, It's Good kind of shitty and actually pretty entertaining to watch

I wish I never find the fabric I need for my cosplays

Granted, you look like the character, anyway.

I wish John Ruskin's father was castrated before he could conceive him, leaving my artistic philosophy malformed.

Granted, his sperm was frozen before the castration so Ruskin could still be conceived.

I wish Justin Bieber was immortal.

Granted. An eternity of experience moulds him into the greatest musician of all time.

I wish that Troper Tales and Fetish Fuel were brought back.

Granted. They're extremely heavily regulated and edited so that there isn't anything too offensive present.

I wish that the Caitlin Snow incarnation of Killer Frost never appears in any media ever again.

Granted. She gets an amazing finale episode and the entire fandom agrees that bringing her back after that would cheapen everything the work has ever stood for.

I wish to eat a spicy meatball............ that's too spicy!!

Granted. It's supernaturally spicy, so by the time it's done burning your tongue. You gain the ability to control heat.

I wish James Gunn never comes back to Marvel, and GotG Vol. III suffers and sucks for it.

Edited by KeironCioran on Mar 2nd 2019 at 5:47:40 AM

Granted. Guardians Vol. 3 gets cancelled, but sales of the comic books continue to be strong.

I wish the big third-party video game companies everyone thinks are "too big to fail" (EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Take-Two/Rockstar Games, Square Enix, Capcom, etc.) all fail simultaneously.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Mar 6th 2019 at 7:07:25 AM

Granted. They do an action which everyone boycotts before they go bankrupt not due to said action, and everybody celebrates.

I wish I could get run over by a speeding bus, and have every enemy I ever had laugh at me for 1 hour.

Granted. But your enemies perform a Heel–Face Turn and raise hell to get your wounds treated. And you survive.

I wish my dad would come into my room and beat me with a wire hanger.

Edited by KeironCioran on Mar 6th 2019 at 8:26:28 AM

Granted. A particle accelerator explosion happens right at that moment. You gain superpowers from this event and can now manipulate ALL forms of metal with your mind.

I wish I was married to Gollum.

Granted, he has Hidden Depths of being a good husband.

I wish to get addicted to meth.

Edited by The_Dag on Mar 8th 2019 at 11:21:14 AM

Granted. You become the world's #1 Method Man fan, and nobody chastises you for liking rap music.

I wish I'd get splashed by something highly corrosive.

Granted, but nothing happens and you now have superpowers to control acid.

I wish to be attacked, tortured and murdered by every single anime character to ever exist at once.