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Confessions d'Histoire (literally translated as Confessions of History) is a French YouTube-based Edutainment Show created and written by Ugo Bimar.

As the name implies, it consists in parodic Confession Cams with historical characters detailing their life and/or the historical events they went through as if they were in a Reality TV show. Expect plenty of Black Comedy.

Six episodes have been released since the channel started:

  • The Gallic Wars (February 2015)
  • The First Crusade (June 2015)
  • Eleanor & Consequences - The Second Crusade (December 2015)
  • From Alexandria to Actium (July 2016)
  • Richard the Lionheart and the Third Crusade (November 2017)
  • The Beauty Tutorial of Agnès Sorel (October 2018)
  • Alexander the Great (upcoming)

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    General tropes 

  • Anachronism Stew: The deliberate format, of course. And the vocabulary the characters use is very much modern-day like in keeping with the Confession Cam thing. Unless there are era-specific terms, in which cases they are always explained. Then there's the multiple Shout Outs to modern works.
  • Black Comedy: Crushing and bloody battles, assassinations and deaths are treated in a humorous way.
  • Boss Subtitles: Every important character starts with a subtitle under his/her name that laconically indicates his/her historical status. Then the subtitles funnily change with each of his/her appearances. Eleanor of Aquitaine for instance gets gossip magazine titles, Louis VII gets "Action Comics" for his retelling of an epic battle he took part in, and Richard the Lionheart and Philippe II Auguste get "Heckle and Jeckle".
  • Butt-Monkey: Armenia is sort of this for the series, with conquests and massacres happening there regularly from the first century BC to the Crusades. And yes, there's a Call-Forward to the 1910s genocide at one point. And invasions/massacres happening there are always mentioned in addition to other unpleasant things happening on a bigger scale.
  • Creative Closing Credits: The closing credits mostly feature the episodes' actors interacting with the onset crew and still in character.
  • Leitmotif: A duduk music leitmotif is used whenever Armenia is talked about.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Battles are always talked about before and/or after they happened, but never shown.
  • Special Guest: Some well known French actors have played roles in that web series such as Armelle Deutsch as Eleanor of Aquitaine, Amaury de Crayencour as Henry the Second or Zinedine Soualem as Saladin.
  • Parody: Of Confession Cam-based Reality TV shows, and of historical events and characters themselves.
  • Tag Line: "L'Histoire racontée par ceux qui l'ont vécue." ("History told by those who lived it.")

Tropes by episode:

    The Gallic Wars 

Julius Caesar and Vercingetorix each tell their version of the Gallic Wars (58-50 BC).

  • Anachronism Stew: Caesar presenting a modern paperback book version of Commentaries on the Gallic War.
  • Artistic License – History: Discussed. Vercingetorix points out how he's often represented with a mustache while he was actually most likely clean-shaven, how "Gauls" were actually a myriad of different tribes, how they wore iron helmets without wings (obviously referring to Asterix), and how they had respectable craftmanships unlike their Roman-inspired depictions as barbarians. He's also baffled by Caesar's deliberate inaccuracies in Commentaries on the Gallic War.
  • Badass Mustache: Vercingetorix... until he takes it off, revealing not all "Gauls" sported it.
  • Product Placement: A parody of it, with Caesar advertising his book.

    The First Crusade 

Pope Urban II, Peter the Hermit, King Baldwin I of Jerusalem, Kilij Arslan I (Seljuq Sultan of Rûm), Al-Mustazhir (Abbasid Caliph of Baghdad) and Alexios I Komnenos (Byzantine emperor) speak about the First Crusade (1095-1099).

    Eleanor & Consequences - The Second Crusade 

The Second Crusade (1147–1149) and how Eleanor of Aquitaine went from Queen of France to Queen of England (1137-1154).

  • Anachronism Stew: Deliberately used, again.
    • Bernard of Clairvaux talking about the Templar Order as if it was a modern business venture and putting a © copyright symbol on the order's cross.
    • Eleanor's minstrels play "Yellow Submarine" and "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" (with medieval instruments) when she moves to England. And then she tells them to "fuck off" (in English).
  • Call-Forward: Bernard of Clairvaux makes one about the 1910s Armenian genocide.
    Bernard: And then, Turks massacred the Armenians... Shouldn't become a habit.
  • The Eeyore: Louis VII is quite a depressed and unfunny dude.
  • Insistent Terminology: King Louis VII of France and Eleanor can't agree whether their marriage was a "party" (Eleanor) or a "ceremony" (Louis).
  • Lady of War: Eleanor wears a chainmail hood, a Templar cape and carries a sword when talking about the Crusade she accompanies her husband to.
  • Manipulative Bitch: Eleanor almost openly admits manipulating Louis.
  • Self-Harm: Louis VII regularly whips himself in penance.
  • Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny: Louis VII has been educated by monks to not like parties and pleasures... and then he met Eleanor, "a [sex] bomb" in his own terms. After admitting he had such thoughts, he whips himself in penance.
  • Shout-Out:

    From Alexandria to Actium 

The transition from The Roman Republic to The Roman Empire and the end of the Ptolemaic kingdom of Egypt told by Julius Caesar, Cleopatra VII, Marcus Antonius (Mark Antony) and Gaius Octavius (48-30 BC).

  • Death by Materialism: The death of Crassus (by having melted gold versed in his mouth, the irony being he was quite a greedy bastard) is brought up. Caesar laments what a waste it was... he meant a waste of gold, of course.
  • Double Entendre: Cleopatra tells how Caesar went on a cruise on the Nile with her, visiting the Valley of the Kings... and the "Valley of the Queen".
  • Dude, Not Funny!: While Octavius and Agrippa are scheming against Mark Antony, Agrippa laughs at Mark Antony's defeats and Octavius starts talking about how his sister Octavia and the daughter she's had with Mark Antony was eventually rejected by the latter. Agrippa keeps laughing, and Octavius tells him to stop.
  • Lame Excuse: Octavius justifies his inability to directly command military troops and his initial failures with "I was sick...".
  • Unfortunate Names: Cleopatra's full name, "Thea Philopator", means "who loves her father". Cue a sigh from her.
  • The Stinger: The souls of Cleopatra and her servants are taken to the Egyptian underworld by Anubis. Cleopatra expected Greek or Roman gods, but Anubis reminds her that she's the queen of Egypt. And Anubis replaces Horus on that duty... because Horus is on a day off.
  • Stock Sound Effects: The "Wilhelm Scream" can be heard when Octavius talks about The Purge carried out by his new Triumvirate.

    Richard the Lionheart and the Third Crusade 

The Third Crusade (1189–1192) and the reign of Richard the Lionheart (1189-1199). Also starring King Philippe II Auguste of France and Saladin.

    The Beauty Tutorial of Agnès Sorel 

Beauty tips by Agnès Sorel, the mistress of King Charles VII of France from 1442 to 1450.

  • Catchphrase: Agnès says "And then, show your boobs!" three times (she doesn't do it of course, but the real one did). Then Antoinette de Maignelais reprises it.
  • Comically Inept Healing: Agnès' cousin Antoinette gives bread with mercury to her for her digestive problems... then Agnès dies. Agnès Sorel indeed died of mercury poisoning she took as medicine.
  • Cosmetic Horror: The ingredients of Agnès Sorel's skin care lotions become increasingly improbable and disgusting as the video progresses. The ingredients of one of them include snail slime, boar brain, goat dung and earthworms.
  • Filler: That five minute episode is much shorter than the others and features only two characters and one historical event (the death of Agnès). It was made because the Alexander the Great video is taking a long time to put together and the channel had to release something in 2018.
  • Later Installment Weirdness: The episode doesn't have the webseries' opening Theme Tune, and parodies beauty tutorial videos instead of Confession Cams. It also has no Creative Closing Credits.
  • Parody: Of beauty/makeup video tutorials.


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