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Visual Novel / John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure!!!

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John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure!!! is a freeware Visual Novel Dating Sim by Lazlo319, created in 2014 for his "John Cena Jam" on It takes place in a high school setting, only all the characters you date are John Cena.

No, seriously. This is real. It can be obtained here. A sequel eventually got released.

Contains examples of:

  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The True End has Johnny serving five life sentences for multiple counts of assault and steroid abuse. A sixth got added when he was loitering around the ring.
  • Back from the Dead: Mr. Cena when you do the Teacher Ending. And this also gets commented on in the New Game+.
  • Earth-Shattering Kaboom: This is what happens when you achieve Bully End, wrestling with Johnny when going to the Prom. This also happens when you just sit and watch as the Monster attacks in New Game Plus.
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  • Heroic Sacrifice: You wind up doing this in the True Ending, fighting the Monster on your own and dying in the process.
  • I Minored in Tropology: The True End has Cena-Senpai eventually get his doctorate in Wrestlography thanks to your heroic sacrifice.
  • Jerkass: Johnny is likely what would happen if John Cena turns heel.
  • Multiple Endings: Aside from the Bad End where Johnny kills you, the game has four endings based upon what choice you made to help with your assignment then take to the prom. Additionally, there are three more endings in New Game+ based upon your decision when Sir Cena of York is fighting the monster.
  • New Game+: Offered from the get-go, though it's really more like an extension of the story. There is no New Game Plus for the Bully End since the world got destroyed, and for the other endings, they lead to the same scenario with slight differences based on who you asked for help on your assignment then went to the prom with.
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  • Ripple Effect Indicator: In 2, Johnbert Cenastein has been noticing that the Cenas are vanishing from the universe. This stems from Cena-senpai trying to stop himself from being pinned by Kurt Angle in the 2002 debut matchup. When you actually let Cena-senpai do it, the referee disqualifies Cena for life, which led to all of them vanishing from the universe since he would never have a career afterwards.
  • Shout-Out: The Teacher End has Mr. Cena superimposed on Senator Armstrong in the climactic fight in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, with a kazoo cover of It Has to Be This Way playing in the background.
  • Stylistic Suck: The characters are all the same picture of John Cena with occasional MS Paint edits, and the background music is the clarinet variation of John Cena's theme. The title screen alone (pictured above) has a gratuitous use of WordArt.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: If you romance Mr. Cena.
  • The End... Or Is It?: The Good Ending where you assist Sir Johnathan Cena of York. "But is it the TRUE ending?"
  • Time Police: In 2, when you wrestle with Johanne Cena in 216969, a Time Cop intervenes and gives you the Attitude Adjustment.
  • What the Hell, Player?: The game calls you out for sitting there and watching, allowing the Monster to pin the entire world and destroy it.
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: The True Ending explains the fate of Cena-Senpai (who kept meeting new students until getting a PhD in Wrestlography), Mr. Cena (continued teaching until he retired), Johnathan (found success in politics and became president of the WWE) and Johnny (arrested on multiple counts of assault and steroid abuse, and eventually got an additional sentence for loitering).
  • Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: Sir Johnathan Cena of York speaks in this manner like a stereotypical knight as he faces off against the Monster.


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