Release: August 12, 2014
Film: Small Soldiers
Tagline: Dumb things come in small packages.
This review contains examples of:
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Thanks to the boringly adequate action in the film, Critic becomes more interested in the Rodeo Burger which had a tie-in with the movie.
- Call-Back: The talking dinosaur from Jurassic Park III reappears, much to the Critic's irritation.Dinosaur: Alan!
- Creator Thumbprint: The Critic lists out how Joe Dante has his fingerprints all over the film.
- Rustic old town that looks like the The '50s.
- Whimsical Jerry Goldsmith score.
- Dick Miller as a blue collar worker still unable to squint his eyes open.
- Normal good-looking boy who for some reason is still an outcast.
- Old Sci-Fi nostalgia.
- Robert Picardo.
- Everything in the kitchen being a big scary weapon.
- Goofy things doing goofy things.
- Department of Redundancy DepartmentCritic: There's no reason for [Christy's dolls] to be walking around practically naked with nothing on!
- Designated Hero: Parodied In-Universe with Devil Boner.
- Designated Villain: Parodied In-Universe with Lady Lovembrace.
- Fun with Acronyms: Justification Experimentation Serving Unusual Sexuality, or in abbreviated terms,
J.E.S.U.S.! - Manipulative Editing: The critic uses music (and clips) from when the Gwendy dolls attack Christy for when they are first upgraded making it seem (more) disturbing and/or fetishistic than it really was.
- '90s Anti-Hero: Parodied with Devil Boner, lampshading how the intimidating-looking Commandos were marketed as hero action figures while their enemies are pacifistic creatures.
- Shout-Out: The Critic believes Robert Picardo can save any mundane production, to the point where he should always introduce himself with "Please state the cinematic emergency."
- When the toy refuses to talk in front of Alan's parents, the Critic dubs in the frog croak from "One Froggy Evening".
- Stalker Shot: At the end of the review, the Critic gets into bed, happy that he could finally relax...only for the camera to pull out, showing that Hyper Fangirl is watching in which she kidnaps him.
- Stuff Blowing Up: Without even doing anything, Devil Boner blows up a toy soldier with a scissor and Lady Lovembrace.
- Tempting FateCritic: ...and you can bet there's nobody that's gonna put me through a similar experience like this ever again. I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to![later that night]Critic: Nothing like resting after a review that's clearly over with no ironic twists concerning the comments I made at the very end.[Hyper Fangirl appears with a Slasher Smile and The Princess Diaries II]
- Valley Girl: The way the Gwendy dolls speak, even though there was a Spartan soldier, an Egyptian queen, an astronaut, and others besides.NC (imitating Gwendy Doll): Like, oh my god, this is totally Sparta!
- Villainous Princess: Lady Lovembrace, even though she's acts like a classic fairy tale princess she still refers to herself as a "terrifying villain".
You've been a bad boy!
