"Smiles everyone! We doing great since the divorce!"
"We'll just calmly sink to the bottom of the ocean."
—Bob
Teddy takes the Belchers for a day out on his boat, in a misguided attempt to impress his ex-wife. When Teddy's boat gets damaged, they're forced to land on the nearest island and hope someone's around to help.
Trope Me Now:
- Ambiguous Syntax: When Teddy tells the Belchers he's taking them out (as in on his boat), Louise assumes he plans on murdering them.
- And Then What?: Teddy's entire plan to impress Denise was to simply drive his boat to her and say, "Hi, Denise!" When Tina asked him about it, he came to a stop trying to think of the rest.
- As You Know: Teddy and the Belchers talk a lot about the stuff Teddy's told them about his ex-wife Denise (such as how she insulted the back of his head), as well as his boat (which he's been fixing up for years), but this is the first time the audience is hearing about any of it (with one exception—the fact that Denise cheated on him, which was first mentioned way back in Season 1).
- Call-Back:
- The island Teddy and the Belchers land on was owned by Mr. Caffrey, who had died in "Human Flesh" and whose old candy factory was a plot point in "The Belchies".
- Denise and her poor treatment of Teddy were first mentioned (and shown via flashback) in "Bed & Breakfast". Here, they're a major part of the plot.
- Cell Phones Are Useless: The Belchers fail to get a signal after they get stranded at sea.
- Character Development: Teddy learns to cut his abusive ex out of his life and lift himself up without needing to show his improvement to her.
- Comically Missing the Point: The island's caretaker tells the story of how Mr. Caffrey bought the island to impress his crush, only for her to spurn his advances. Bob points out the similarities to the story and Teddy's boat misadventure (to further nail the point in, Caffrey's crush even resembles Teddy's ex-wife), but Teddy's only take away is that he needs to buy an island.
- Conspicuous Consumption: Teddy attempts this, buying a boat just to show his ex how well off he is. The boat itself is hardly luxurious, and Teddy only manages to crash it onto a pier while trying to get his ex's attention.
- Cringe Comedy: Teddy's desperate, repeated attempts to get Denise's attention are just painful to watch.
- Crusty Caretaker: The only person on the island is Nathaniel the groundskeeper, who threatens Teddy and the Belchers with a weed-whacker for trespassing.
- Didn't Think This Through:
- At the end of the episode, as they're being brought back to shore, Teddy uses a flare to sink his boat. While a moving gesture, Louise points out that he could have sold it or given it away. And the Belchers' phones and wallets were still on it. As was the steering wheel for Teddy's truck. Then the flaming boat explodes.
- Also, he used the radio's microphone for a policeman costume, leaving them unable to call for help.
- Linda and Tina's poorly executed role playing only further convinces Teddy he can win Denise back. Linda eventually acknowledges this didn't help when Bob snaps.
- Domestic Abuse: Teddy is a victim of the emotional kind by his ex-wife Denise.
- Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Played for drama; Teddy genuinely has trouble grasping that the way Denise treated him was completely unacceptable, and him moving past this forms the crux of the episode.
- Egg Sitting: In a variation, Tina brings the chalkboard eraser along to prove that she can have a cell phone and not lose it. Naturally, she has some close calls. Then, when they have to cross a narrow, rickety bridge, Tina can't hold on to the bridge and the eraser at the same time, and she drops it into the ocean. Later, Bob tells her that she can have a cell phone, but she refuses the offer, saying that it's too much responsibility and that she'd most likely keep staring at it at all hours of the day and miss the world around her.
- Epic Fail:
- A series of flashbacks show just how often Tina loses things—at one point she somehow loses her toothbrush in the middle of using it.
- Teddy spent years of his life repairing a boat to win back Denise. He then proceeds to completely total it within a day.
- Everyone Has Standards: The Belchers are in collective agreement that Teddy's desperation to impress his abusive ex-wife is really sad.
- Freudian Excuse: Teddy constantly has something (most commonly his beanie) covering his head because his ex-wife mocked how he looked without it.
- Has a Type: Denise appears to go for sailors and seafarers, given she left Teddy for one and Teddy's plan to win her back involves a boat.
- Hate Sink: Teddy's ex-wife Denise is, for lack of a better word, a complete bitch who treated him horribly and left him with severe self esteem issues. The Belchers have to convince Teddy that he's better off without her.
- Herbivores Are Friendly: Averted, though downplayed. The highland longhorns are fairly aggressive, but don't do anything more than approach the Belcher family and Teddy menacingly. Then again, the Belchers don't stick around long enough to give them a chance to do much else.
- Worth noting, highland cattle are typically very gentle animals. Most injuries caused by highland longhorns are caused by them accidentally swinging their horns into a person they couldn't see, not attacks. That said, as cattle, they are prone to being spooked, and the sudden appearance of so many strangers so close to the herd might have frightened them.
- In-Universe Catharsis: Discussed; Linda tells Bob that yelling at Teddy for completely botching the boat ride isn't gonna make things better. Bob remarks that it might.
- It's All My Fault: Teddy blames himself for every problem his marriage to Denise had, up to and including justifying her cheating on him as if he drove her to it. By the end of the episode he comes to accept that no, Denise was just plain awful and he didn't do anything to deserve it.
- Lonely at the Top: This episode reveals that the late Mr. Caffrey, a man previously established as quite rich, tried to woo someone he loved only to fail. Given Caffrey has no known family members, it's likely he qualifies for this trope—untold money at the cost of love.Nathaniel: That man had all the money in the world. But he couldn't get the woman he loved to love him back.
- Not Helping Your Case: In order to prove to Bob she's responsible enough to have her own cell phone, Tina carries around Bob's chalkboard eraser to prove she won't lose it for the entire day, only to lose it for a few seconds after saying she won't lose it. Bob and Linda don't even make it to the boat before bracing themselves for the eraser's inevitable loss.
- Oh, Crap!: The Belchers reach a deserted island, only to find a large herd of cows who don't look pleased to see them.Gene: AHHH! Tell them we don't sell hamburgers!
- Party Scattering: The herd of longhorns briefly split the Sea Me Now crew into two groups of three—Linda, Tina, and Teddy; Bob, Louise, and Gene. Linda uses the opportunity to talk to Teddy about Denise without Bob overhearing (as she considers him to be overly blunt about Denise).
- Piggyback Cute: Platonic example; Louise is too short to wade through the water after the boat crashes, so Bob gives her a piggyback ride to shore.
- Rage Breaking Point: After Teddy comes to the mistaken conclusion he should buy an island to impress Denise, Bob finally snaps and tells Teddy he has to stop wasting time trying to impress Denise because she's not worth it.
- Retcon: Teddy's ex-wife Denise is a brunette, but a flashback in "Bed & Breakfast" showed her as a blonde. That said, it's entirely possible she dyed it.
- Rope Bridge: The bridge on Caffrey's Island doesn't actually use rope, but it's just as rickety and dangerous to cross.
- Shipping Torpedo: None of the Belchers (except Linda, who eventually changes her mind) are willing to support Teddy's efforts to win back his ex-wife Denise. Justified; she was a horrible person who routinely insulted, belittled, and cheated on Teddy. He's honestly way better off without her.
- Shout-Out:
- When Teddy calls for suggestions on where to go, Louise asks to go "wherever Captain Phillips happened."
- Gene references Rick James when Teddy steps on a plank on the bridge and it creaks.Gene: That was a super creak! It's super creaky! Yeow!
- Title Drop: Teddy's boat is called Sea Me Now.
- Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?: An in-universe example happens between Teddy and Denise, wherein the Belchers all point out how she was an emotionally abusive bitch who treated Teddy horribly and cheated on him. It takes Bob screaming at Teddy in frustration for everyone to finally make Teddy understand he doesn't need Denise after how badly she abused him.
- Won't Take "Yes" for an Answer: When Teddy offers the Belchers a ride on his boat, they give a definite yes, but he keeps saying he'll put them down as a "maybe."
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Teddy has to be convinced by the Belchers that he deserves better than Denise, and should just focus on doing well for himself instead of doing well for her.
