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Quotes / Logical Fallacies

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Hot Pie: I've seen lots of battles! I saw...
Arya: Liar.
Hot Pie: I saw a man killing another at a tavern in Flea's Bottom. Stabbed right in the neck.
Lommy: Two men fighting is no battle.
Hot Pie: They got armour on.
Arya: So?
Hot Pie: So if they got armour on, it's a battle.
Lommy: No, it isn't.
Hot Pie: What does a dyer's apprentice know about battles, anyway?
Arya: Gendry's an armourer's apprentice. Hot Pie, tell Gendry what makes a fight into a battle.
Hot Pie: It's, uh, when they've got armour on.
Gendry: And who told you that?
Hot Pie: A knight.
Gendry: How'd you know he was a knight?
Hot Pie: Wells, cause he's got a-armour on.
Gendry: You don't have to be a knight to have armour. Any idiot can buy armour!
Hot Pie: How'd you know?
Gendry: Because I sold armour!

"Circular logic is self-validating. Therefore it is correct."

"So, you have been sitting here thinking illogically about logical possibilities or logically about illogical possibilities. No wonder you are cranky."
Delenn, Babylon 5

"Stay awake for twelve hours? I can do that in my sleep!"

"Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic."

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"

"Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis."
John Dewey

"Logic doesn't apply to the real world."
Marvin Minsky

"It's been a fascinating discussion, because ... I feel like we don't connect, like, on — it's, like ... it's weird. Because ... I like you ... but I don't understand how your brain works."
Jon Stewart, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, wrapping up the Betsy McCaughey interview.

All of Al McColgan is dead, but not all that is dead is Al McColgan
— Spoof director's commentary, The cassette of the soundtrack of the trailer of the film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"The Dean had his seventh epiphany today, which has given me an epiphany of my own—the Dean is a genius. He has to be. If he isn't, I've given almost two weeks of my life to an idiot! That is unacceptable. Therefore, the Dean is a genius and I will die protecting his vision."
Annie, Community (demonstrating "Appeal to Consequences")

8-Bit Theater

"In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed!"
Red Mage

Red Mage: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any step will have no impact on the macro level.
Black Mage: That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more.
Red Mage: Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!

Ranger: Only people who aren't us have disappeared, Rogue. Should this pattern continue, we ought to be fine.
Rogue: Why does that make more sense than I think it should?
Ranger: Don't question it!
Rogue: Right. Okay. I have to believe that this will work out in the end.
Sarda: That's a shame.

Red Mage: We need to use your heart.
Black Mage: So do I! It moves my blood around.
Red Mage: Not if we kill you!
Black Mage: That's distressingly logical.

Thief: Red Mage, this the worst plan yet in your lifetime filled with nothing but the worst plans.
Red Mage: It will work, I guarantee it!
Black Mage: It starts at the impossible before moving on to the even more impossibler.
Red Mage: Precisely!

Red Mage: I'll need more proof than a logical fallacy.
Jeff: In a recent poll, it was found that 100% of Jeffs were very handsome and thought Black Mage survived. Why don't you. Is it because you're ugly?
Red Mage: That's enough logical fallacies to convince me. Black Mage is fine.

Red Mage: Okay, I've got it. We just need to make two portable holes.
Black Mage: That'll be difficult due to the total lack of materials, but it's not technically impossible.
Red Mage: And each one has to be the size of the universe.
Black Mage: What?
Red Mage: Then we drop the universe into one hole, and drop that hole into the other one, and then reality will be here!
Black Mage: So, you want us to build a thing that's the size of everything using nothing.
Red Mage: Yes.
Black Mage: Twice.
Red Mage: Yes.
Black Mage: This is quite literally the least practical plan put together by an allegedly thinking creature.