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Quotes / Hero Insurance

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News reporter: How can you justify destroying a $7 million mini-mall to rescue a girl whose ransom is only $25,000?
Girl: Fuck you, lady!
John Spartan: Good answer.

Leela: Are you crazy? We have to keep our secret identities secret.
Fry: From everybody?
Leela: Especially from everybody!
Fry: Give several reasons why.
Leela: For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage, and we don't wanna get our butts sued.
Fry: Or do we? ...No, I guess not.
Futurama, "Less Than Hero"

"It's like they say. The bigger they are, the more catastrophically irreversible the property damage"
Victor Mancha, Runaways, Vol. 2, Issue 20

Billy Batson: (excitedly) Dude, did you see that?
If that was me I would be like, "No! I don't want to drink from you. I want you to fix this goddamn wall before my dad gets home from work. He's not going to believe a dancing bowl of fruit punch came in here, and I'm going to get beat with a toaster. This is bullshit — DON'T TOUCH ME. Please, I'll kick you in the legs, you're very top heavy and you will smash. You fix this wall, and if you get thirsty drink yourself, you glass son of a bitch." "Oh yeah!' "Oh no! That's your problem, your slogan should be 'oh no, what have I done to this beautiful home?!'."
Dane Cook, on the Kool-Aid Man

"Sorry, Livid! Re-killing your husband was fine, but you're going back to jail for driving cars off the ferry, credit card fraud and wrecking school property!"
MAD parody of Double Jeopardy

Civilian #1: "Not another Power Ringer battle! We still have gotten the buildings fixed from last time!
Civilian #2: "No wonder Angel Corners has the highest insurance rates in the world!"
"Mightily Murdered Power Ringers" A parody of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers

Send paramedics to the bridge.
Doug Carlin, protagonist of Déjà Vu, after causing multiple car wrecks resulting in unknown amounts of injury and death.

What the hell's the matter with you people? You've caused more damage than that goddamn thing did!
Mayor Ebert to the US Armed Forces, Godzilla (1998)

Hope that building was insured.

"Meanwhile, I'm about to go and have a very lively phone call with our insurance company."
Keira, Forza Horizon 3

Bob Parr: Someone was in trouble!
Rick Decker: Someone's always in trouble.
Bob Parr: I had to do something.
Rick Decker: Yeah, every time you say those words it means a month and a half of trouble for me, Bob. It means hundreds of thousands of taxpayers' dollars, Bob.

Across the planet, the Justice League has led reconstruction efforts at sites hit heaviest by the Kryptonians — including Cairo, Paris, and Metropolis.
Newscaster, Supergirl: Bizarrogirl

The third time, she was manifest as Nightflame, a giant sword-wielding woman who wreaked havoc in San Francisco, born of her old identity and some other elements added from Kara's psyche, amplified by a mage who existed in a sub-atomic universe on a world somehow within Kara.[...]
No killing that time, but she had wreaked undeniable mayhem. It had taken Supergirl a whole afternoon to clean things up.

Spike Spiegel: What happened to the million woolong reward we got for that last guy?
Jet Black: ...The repair bill for the cruiser you wrecked... And the one from the shop you trashed... And the medical bill from the cop you injured... KILLED THE DOUGH!


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