Quotes / A-Team Firing

"Inaccuracy is a sin. Remember — there will always be more enemies to be purged than there will be ammunition available."

— The Tactica Imperialis, Warhammer 40,000

Uzgob: Topside turrets! Which one of you gitz isn't shootin' like all the others!?
Gunner: Me, boss. 'Ow we supposed to know who's on our side and who ain't?
Uzgob: Listen karefully and I'll explain 'ow we do things 'ere in Deff Skwadron... You shoot at it an' you miss, it's one of ourz. You hit it an' you shoot it down, then it must be one of theirs. Dead simple, see?
Gunner: Got it, boss. Works a treat, that does...

— Skwadron Kommander Uzgob explaining ork friend-or-foe protocol, 'Deff Skwadron

"You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to 'miss'."

— Mystery Science Theater 3000, Space Mutiny

"If Riker tried to shoot Kennedy, he'd hit Lincoln."

— SFDebris

"I realize Batman does not regularly use guns, but I am pretty sure he also doesn’t shoot like me drunk at 4:30 in the morning trying to shoot a sober guy with the lasers on a Banshee in Halo 3 on Xbox 360. So he totally sucks at shooting, and then the Joker pulls out a gun that’s like the length of his leg and somehow manages to use it to shoot down an experimental stealth jet. Like, a revolver."

— Chris Sims on Batman (1989)

Give him a gun, and the safest place to be was between him and the enemy.

— We Few, describing Erkum Pol

Even with their military training and access to a seemingly unending supply of ammunition, The A-Team never successfully shot anyone during their career as mercenaries. As you can see, the team seemed completely unfamiliar with the concept of aiming their rifles, just firing randomly in the direction of their enemies. Note that when we said they never successfully shot anyone, we're not counting the hundreds of bystanders they likely gunned down with their hail of stray bullets.

— Cracked, 6 Supposed Action Heroes You Could Probably Take In A Fight

My accuracy to damage ratio is sadness!
I don't even remember what accuracy means!
God help you all if I actually hit something!
PLAYER! WHAT! ARE! YOU! DOING?!

— Gaige, Borderlands 2 ^note Gaige's "Ordered Chaos" skill tree gives her "Anarchy", wherein she gets reduced accuracy for increased damage. The higher the Anarchy, the more inaccurate she becomes.

Archer: Shit, I'm out!
Katya: I am also out!
Lana: (Beat) Uh, actually so am I.
Gillette: Dukes. Me too.
Malory: Me too.
Archer: Seriously? Is anybody hit?
Everybody: Uh, no.
Archer: Huh. Not really the explosive climax I thought it was gonna be. ^note Seriously, are we not doing 'phrasing' anymore?.

— Archer

Throw enough downfield and you're bound to hit the bullseye eventually

— Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, MP9 | Dart skin description

Well, that looked impressive...

— Norris Packard after Shiro's Alpha Strike completely misses him, Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team

Stop, you madman! Wait for me to get away! You aim at Vigo and the shots end up in Cartagena!^note Two Spanish cities, which are almost in opposite ends of the country.

— Filemón to Mortadelo, Mortadelo y Filemón, "¡Silencio, se rueda!"

Red: And of course, the government can't stick its nose in without coming up with some cash, so they gave me this infraction.

Harold: What do you got there?

Red: Well, I...I shot their truck. (Beat) It's amazing how much a land rover looks like a blue rhino.

Harold: Especially with your eyesight!

Red: That's why I have the semi-automatic; the aim is not so crucial on that.

— The Red Green Show

Vegan: YOU MANIAC! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!
Harry: Don't take it personally. With my terrible aim I could have killed anyone.

—French Baguette Intelligence, "Vegan Cannibalism is the Future"

"'When shooting at an enemy vehicle, aim for the bumper and/or mirrors. Do NOT aim for the driver, as this could result in a dangerous accident.'"

— Henchmen Kyle and Steve reading "The Henchman Handbook", Dr. Havoc's Diary

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