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Funny / The Jeremy Kyle Show

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The Jeremy Kyle Show is often seen as a Point-and-Laugh Show by many, and the British equivalent of The Jerry Springer Show. Though dealing with such things as DNA tests, family disputes, drug addictions, and every variety of Love Tropes, the show at times feels like a Punch and Judy show of shouting, screaming, running around the studio, and Jeremy and his crew being stuck in the middle of the madness, or even contributing to it.


  • Jeremy Kyle himself acts like the Only Sane Man, but is a bit of a Cloudcuckoolander. He is often bewildered or frustrated by the constant arguing or excuses of his guests, sitting or lying down on the stage or will wander off until they finish or notice he has gone. At times, he is even known to prance about the stage or leap up and down to get the attention of the guests. He has walked out a couple of times, fed up with the nonsense and stupidity of his guests. Charlie Brooker describes Kyle as "psychotic head-fuck of a man", due to his habit of leaping into a tyrade if any guests triggers any of his numerous Berserk Buttons. He also does not understand Facebook or technology in general, often becoming unamused if any relationship occurs mostly over social networking.
  • Jeremy's habit of having to shut up rude guests by stating "It's called The Jeremy Kyle Show!" Moreso if it's one of the guests who says it, themselves.
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  • A recent Running Gag that has developed involves guests fleeing the stage and running backstage, causing an exasperated Jeremy and his crew to follow them around. Jeremy usually quips that it's "The Kyle Olympics" whenever this happens.
  • When a man or woman are called out for having sex with numerous people: "No one will touch you with a barge pole."
  • Jeremy's studio security guards Steve and Dan look like your stereotypical thuggish bouncers, but are both quite friendly and good-humoured. Jeremy often tries to use Steve as the straight man for his jokes or drags him onstage for a gag.
    • In one episode, Jeremy asked Steve if he has worn a thong before, and Steve literally begged him to get on with the show.
  • An infamous example is when a man sent a woman pictures of his privates after "a bad day at work". Jeremy asked why she had him arrested for harassment. The bloke replied with:
    "Cause I was harassing her."
  • Betty the Warrior Granny, a Cool Old Lady who came to defend her family during a romantic dispute, only to be accused of having sex with her son-in-law. Jeremy eventually gets fed up with the son-in-law's lies and sabotaging the lie detector, says Screw This, I'm Outta Here!, and departs the stage with Betty on his arm.
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  • In one episode, Jeremy receives the wrong DNA results, summons his producer to the guest booths and gives her a right bollocking for her mistake.
  • When an audience member storms the stage and attacks a guest, he tries to stay on by clinging to the door frame of the booth with Steve to contend with.
  • A particularly aggressive group of guests couldn't stop bashing heads, leading to two guests being chucked off stage, and another being carried by Dan back to his seat. The shenanigans end with most backstage with Steve in pursuit, leaving a baffled Jeremy onstage.
    "Phillip Schofield doesn't have to put up with this every morning."
  • The man who has covered his entire face with a skull tattoo.
  • In one episode, an overconfident youth, who considered himself the height of fashion, rocked up in too-short tracksuit bottoms and trainers with no socks. His choice of outfit was rounded on by Jeremy, prompting the youth’s protestations about “how good he looked”. Over the course of the segment, the guy’s tight t-shirt became progressively soaked with his sweat, which was of course commented on.
  • An early season involved a guest getting shirty about Jeremy tossing an envelope away. Jeremy gives the guy the envelope, only for the Jerkass to launch it back at Jeremy's head like a boomerang. Jeremy isn't impressed when the guest tries to threaten him like an Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy.
  • The "Parrot Man", a friendly, colourful man who has had numerous surgeries to resemble his pet parrots, complete with detachable horns, his ears removed, and his eyes tattooed black. He's starred in numerous fact books thanks to his unusual appearance, and fully embraces his identity. An added dose of Heartwarming is added once he introduces his parrots to Jeremy and the Audience, and it's clear to see how much he's committed to looking after them.
  • One of show's most notorious guest, a woman named Julie King, a protective Mama Bear who is furious towards the actions of her grandson's father. When a lie detector reveals said father smoked heroin in front of his child, Jeremy is so elated that he praises Julie's daughter for failing a lie detector for having sex with other people. Julie also vows to shit down the father's neck for being so worthless.
  • A woman on the American version of the show who was the personification of a Motor Mouth, with Jeremy unable to get a word in.
  • One woman refuses the advances of her baby's father's brother for "having a face like a ferret".
  • "Captain Birdseye is on my stage."
  • A New-Age Retro Hippie accuses his wife of having so much sex that she has a mattress strapped to her back.
  • One unsatisfied wife informs the audience that a potted cactus would give her more sexual satisfaction than her husband.
  • The jackass in the dragon shirt who Jeremy asked if he was attending a "Hawaiian convention".
    • The same episode is where a father, who was protecting his daughter's honour from said jackass, unintentionally spits on Jeremy during one of his rants. He apologizes to Jeremy afterwards, whom quips he should apologize to his shirt.
  • A newer episode has a lying guest fail to be able to spell out the word 'Graham' after Jeremy dares him to say it. The guest says he doesn't need to say 'Graham', he's abbreviated it to 'g-r-a-y'. Immediately the audience bursts into laughter while Jeremy and one of the other guests dash about the stage and high-five each other.
    Jeremy: "OH DEAR! OH DEAR! OH DEAR!"
  • One episode has Jeremy asking a chavvy guest to spell "father".
    Guest: F-a-r-t-h-e-r. Can you spell it?
    [Audience roars with laughter, making the man grin smugly as if he's thinking they're laughing at Jeremy's idiocy while Jeremy looks at the man with a deadpan look].
  • When Jeremy snaps at a guest (having a sibling rivalry with his brother) about having five children, this exchange happens:
    Guest's Brother: He has sex with them, OF COURSE!!
  • An elderly porn star comes onstage and tries to strip off, only to be hurried offstage by the security guards.
  • One guest accused of being unfaithful reveals he and his wife have an experimental sexual relationship, running offstage and coming back with a bag carrying some of their "toys", including a thong. He then proceeds to chase Jeremy around the stage before giving it to him. Jeremy then tosses it into the audience.
  • Jeremy and Dan confront a rude, short-sized man, who claims Jeremy should get out of his face. Jeremy replies with "I'm not in your face, I'm above your face!"
  • An elderly Irish woman accused her niece of stealing from her, and responded by sending her a voodoo doll in the post, also claiming her niece pooped in the fridge.
    • Thankfully she, nor any one of those did not do either heinous acts.
  • A strange but sympathetic guest had a bizarre addiction to cereal, or more precisely, the sugar intake he has with it. Jeremy then wheels out an entire wheelbarrow's worth of sugar to show how much the man digests per day. The meeting ends on a happy note, with Jeremy ending the show being wheeled out in the barrow.
    "Why can't I push it up the ramp? Get off! And the camera-man can do one."
  • An angry mother zooms through the studio on her mobility scooter to confront her son's ex. Jeremy politely asks her to "do a circuit" until needed, and she happily zooms off. At the end of the show, Jeremy leaps onto the back of her scooter and they race off into the sunset.
  • A 10-year old girl who cares for her mother asks Jeremy to dance with her. He at first refuses unless he has a dance partner. However, both Steve and Will the floor manager both leg it and Jeremy chases them.
  • A woman explains the odd way she discovered she was pregnant, and her ex claims "I'm Irish but that's a bit too Irish."
  • One guest who calls himself "Wizz" is a so-called gangster who's "hot set of wheels" is a Peugeot 306. And when he tries to make a grand entrance? He ends up tripping, half-way. Jeremy doesn't let him forget this.
    • In his second appearance where he had to prove to his girlfriend and a close friend of hers that he doesn't take drugs, Wizz is revealed to have lost his set of wheels and isn't a gangster, instead being a Nice Guy called Dave, which seemingly disappoints Jeremy. And thankfully, he doesn't trip during his entrance.
    • In his third appearance, Wizz had broken up with his girlfriend and is now with someone else, accusing his ex of stalking them. Near the end of this segment, he proposes to his girlfriend. Which would've been sweet, if they haven't been dating for only "2 WEEKS." And no, he doesn't trip in his 3rd entrance, either.
      • At the end of this segment, Jeremy has Ian, the "bro" of Wizz, friends of the 2 girls and the one with the most common sense of the 4 guests, finish off the show for him.
  • In one episode, a guest enters the studio on his electric mobility scooter. When he arrives, he parks it at the bottom of the set and he starts arguing with another guest. Jeremy, instead of trying to stop their arguing, is fascinated by the scooter, and wordlessly switches it on and takes it for a ride around the studio. All the while, the two guests are still arguing, with the owner of the scooter having not even noticed.
    • The cameraman who follows Jeremy on his little trip also holds the camera at a low angle and uncomfortably close to Jeremy's behind. It just makes the whole thing funnier.
  • Jeremy's banter with his staff and team, particularly with Security Steve and Dan. One could even call his banter sometimes flirtatious towards them.
  • On one episode, a guest called Christian, accused of stealing from his girlfriend's mother, had refused to come in stage or face the cameras, instead choosing to face the wall and cover himself with a hoodie. While this was amusing enough, Jeremy's reactions, including talking to the wall, remarking "I've never had to talk to the back of a hoodie before", and holding the microphone to his rear end, put it in this territory
    • To make the situation better, when Jeremy reads the lie detector, he bursts out laughing the moment he sees the results. He had been telling the truth the whole time.
  • One guest takes being cleared of accusatons of theft very well.


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