- As Batman and Superman are fleeing from Metallo through Gotham's sewers, the two of them pass the time and distract from their situation with dissonantly conversation and snarky jibes. The whole sequence is hilariously dissonant, and provides a few of the funniest moments of the story.
Superman: "You know who I was thinking about the other day? Magpie."Batman: "The criminal?Superman: "Do we know another Magpie? What ever happened to her?"Batman: "She died."Superman: "No! Are you sure?"Batman: "Reasonably."Batman: "Clark... what the hell are 'good villains?'"
- One said conversation that made it into the movie, as Batman is lugging a Kryptonite poisoned Supes around.
- And one that sadly didn't make it into the movie after Alfred confronts them in the sewers, made even funnier because Superman has just been electrocuted as well as poisoned and is barely conscious, yet still manages to get a joke in.Superman (weakly): Your butler guards the Cave with a shotgun? You didn't have a spare Mr. Freeze Ray gun he could use?Batman: This coming from a man who uses a dog with a cape to protect his fortress....
- Everything involving Hiro and Power Girl. From the first gag, where they need to stall him for a while (omitted from the movie), someone asks rhetorically how they can stall a thirteen year old supergenius, and then the panel clips over to Power Girl (with particular emphasis on her chest).Power Girl: Why are you all looking at me like - oh..."
Superman (about his gigantic mecha): "Are you sure this is going to work?"Hiro: "Does Power Girl have big-"Batman: "Just feed it the numbers, kid."
- Later on after spending an afternoon with her, Hiro gives us this gem:
Hiro: "Hey, did you guys see Power Girl when you came in? When you see her again, tell her I said sorry about the X-Ray goggles..."Hiro puts on a pair of broken goggles. One of the lenses pops off and shatters on the floor "I was just testin' 'em... now I have to rebuild them from scratch..."
- And one the movie adds:
- Lex Luthor calling Amanda Waller a bitch after she gives Batman and Superman the information they were searching for to stop the meteor.
- When Superman and Batman are in the Batcave discussing Metallo's death among other things Superman says that Batman was there when they fought and would vouch for his innocence. Batman just gives him a "Seriously?" look because, well, he's Batman. The look itself is just hilarious and has to be seen to be believed.
- The opening comment from The Weekly Show.
- Major Force calling Batman a piece of... well, you know. Right as Batman throws what can only be profanity-retardant goo in his face.
- When Batman is trying to remove the Kryptonite bullet from Superman's heart:Batman: Do me a favor and lose the sense of humor.Superman: Do us both a favor and buy one.
- Batman's understated - but for him way over the top - reaction to Hiro's half-Batman half-Superman Humongous Mecha.Batman: Wow.
- When Superman and Batman are at a Star Labs research center investigating Metallo's corpse, they are caught by a couple of security guards. Batman busts out the Batarangs to incapacitate them but Superman just says "No" and punches through the ceiling to escape.Superman: Now I really do look like a criminal.
Batman: It's done wonders for me.
- The fact that Grundy suddenly speaks like William F. Buckley, as Batman puts it, is downright hilarious if one listens to clips where Grundy speaks in his typical Hulk Speak and then immediately listens to this Grundy's lines due to the sheer randomness. Grundy's speech pattern sounds a lot more intelligent because he's being mind controlled by Gorilla Grodd.
- Superman's borderline-CSI one-liner in the climax is as hilarious as it is cathartic.Luthor: I am the President!
Superman: Consider yourself...(knocks him flying)...impeached.
- After the film's climax, Superman offers for him and Lois to have Batman over. Batman declines, because it's late. And then the sun rises. As Superman takes a moment to take in the new dawn, he turns back to find Batman has disappeared while Superman was distracted.
Funny / Superman/Batman: Public Enemies