Ratburger, when it's not being gross or emotional, is basically one big funny moment.
- From the character list, Gingernut and Armitage are described as "a dead hamster" and "a live rat". Also, Dad is listed as "A dad".
- Dad's biggest fail for ice cream flavours is Snail & Broccoli.
- Zoe eavesdropping on Dad and Sheila arguing, ending with Sheila saying something that made Zoe wish she hadn't been eavesdropping.Sheila: "And while I am on the subject, your aim in de bog could be better! Wot do ya do? Put a sprinkler on the end of it?"
- When Zoe tells Raj that Gingernut died, he replies that he can sympathise as he owned a tadpole named Poppadom, who was "eaten" by a frog. When Zoe tries to explain that tadpoles turn into frogs, Raj assumes she's lying to make him happy.
- The list of words commonly associated with "rat": "vermin", "sewer", "disease", "bite", "plague", "catcher", and "--a-tat-tat".
- One of the items in a list of "most unloved living things" is "Piers Morgan".
- The narrator says that it must have been Armitage who pooped in Zoe's room, then notes that it certainly wasn't him.
- The whole section about smuggling animals into school. It says that:
- Blue whales are the hardest due to their size and wetness.
- Hippos and giraffes are too fat and tall respectively.
- Lions, seals, and walruses are too loud, while skunks smell "even worse than sweaty teachers".
- Boobies sound too rude (He then adds a footnote saying that he didn't just make them up for a "cheap laugh. As if I would do that!".)
- Ostriches can take you to school quickly but are too big to hide in your school bag.
- Polar bears blend into the arctic wastes well but can be spotted instantly in a school dinner queue.
- Smuggling a shark into a school pool will lead to expulsion, especially if they ate the kids.
- Orangutans and gorillas are too disruptive, the latter in mathematics especially, but they apparently can speak French.
- Nits, however, are notoriously easy to smuggle into school.
- Zoe complains about being left out "even when being told off".
- From the scene of Zoe and Armitage in the toilet:
- Zoe feeding Armitage a "bread sandwich", which is just what it sounds like but comes with a recipe.
- Zoe finds out Armitage's sex because he pees on the wall, which is described as "decorating" it.
- One girl wrote, "Destiny is a complete [Symbol Swearing]", which the narrator describes as "very rude, even if she is." Zoe rejects 'Destiny' as a name, because it would be a "stupid name for a rat, especially a boy rat."
- Armitage gets his name from writing on the toilet bowl... unfortunately, everyone wants to know why he's named that.
- Zoe tries to convince a suspicious Tina that she is only urinating, and makes a sound that ends up sounding "more like a snake hissing".
- Tina trying to sell a single trainer.
- Once, a boy mooned out of the school bus and then gotten the nickname "Hairy Bum", which even the teachers called him.
- Tina's lackeys, being stupid, don't know how to respond to her having a rat on her finger, so they just stand still.
- Miss Midge on a height chart with a leprechaun, elf, fairy, sprite, and pixie. The leprechaun comes up to her shoulder.
- When Armitage is found out because he left a dropping in the toilet floor, the class starts to snicker, and then...Random Boy: "Someone did a poo on the toilet floor, sir?!"Headmaster: "Not a human dropping! An animal one!"
- The list of bad things to happen at school, which includes forgetting to put on anything except your tie, getting such a bad case of butterflies your bottom explodes, kissing your teammates without realising you've scored an own goal, sneezing on your principal and covering them head to toe in snot, mistakenly thinking it's Fancy Dress Day and spending the day dressed as Lady Gaga, having your aunt wipe your face with her saliva while you're playing Hamlet, having such bad foot odour your school needs to be de-fumigated for a week, and farting all afternoon.
- Burt's menu is "Burger in a bap", "Burger only", and "Bap only".
- Zoe's options once suspended are live a lifestyle like Bonnie and Clyde, have plastic surgery and move to South America, tell Dad and Sheila that it's "Adopt-a-Rodent Week", claim that Armitage is an animatronic, claim he's for spy work, disguise him as a toy Smurf, fly off in a hot air balloon made from Sheila's bra, hijack a mobility scooter, build a dematerialisation machine (which she admits might be a bit too complicated), or just go to Raj's shop for a snack.
- Raj screaming because he's afraid of rats, then he pretends that it's because some candy exploded and eats some snot off the ceiling.
- Burt has a drawn-on moustache, and he claims he is not Burt, but rather Burt's twin brother, but then he says that his name is indeed Burt because his parents were poor and "couldn't afford a name each".
- Sheila thinks "Armitage" is a stupid name for a rat, so when Zoe asks her what she would name one...Sheila: (after a long period of thought) "Ratty!"Zoe: "A bit unoriginal."
- Sheila's failed attempt at Spelling for Emphasis.Sheila: "Yer grounded. Ya hear me? G-R-O-N-D-E-D! Grounded!"
Zoe: "There's a 'U' in 'grounded'." - Zoe considers making a glider out of coat-hangers and knickers, but rejects the idea because there's a high chance of death and "more importantly" she doesn't have enough clean knickers.
- Tina is described as "snoring like a camel", then later as being "angrier than a great white shark that had been called a rude name".
- Zoe being pulled one way by Sheila and the other way by Tina and repeating, "Oooh! Aaah!", which the narrator says sounds like a pop song.
- Zoe covered in dust from her bedroom wall breaking claims to Raj that she is in fancy dress, as a superhero named Dustgirl, whose superpower is doing the dusting. He then gives her a drink and puts it back in the fridge, noting there is "free spit" in there.
- Zoe and Burt do the whole Duck Season, Rabbit Season routine:Zoe: "Or I will tell everyone about what you are doing here. Turning rats into burgers!"Burt: "No, you won't."Zoe: "Yes, I will."Burt: "No, you won't."Zoe: "Yes, I will."Burt: "Yes, you will."Zoe: "No, I won't!"
- The barkeep has a tattoo that says, "MAH TSEW". It was meant to say, "WEST HAM", but he done it himself in front of a mirror.
- Dad getting mixed up and thinking Burt makes rats from burgers instead of the other way round.
- One of Dad's ice cream flavours at the end is "Fudge, Fudge, Fudge, Fudge, Fudge, Fudge, Fudge, actually now too much Fudge".
