Funny / French Baguette Intelligence

There are plenty of iconic quotes and moments from French Baguette Intelligence's videos that will make you laugh.

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A typical French vs English debate

• This exchange in the first episode that caused the two avatars to change:
  Bowl: The rivalry between France and England... We're like brothers if you think about it.
  Fuck Cares: Well, it's "La France" not "Le France". So, France is Female.
  Bowl: And it's "mother England" not "father England"...
  Fuck Cares: Oh em jee, we're sisters!
  female!Bowl: YAAAAS QUEEEN!
  female!Fuck Cares: YOU GO, GIRL!

Geography Makes no Sense...

• During the "Australia vs. Oceania" part of the debate, Bowl says that New Zealand is not part of Australia because it is a separate island.
  Gringo: Funny you should say that, Bowl. But then how is the United Kingdom part of Europe?
  Fuck Cares: HAHAHAHAHA, SUCK IT BREXIT!
• Harry disagreeing with both the six-continent and seven-continent models, shocking Fuck Cares, Bowl, and Gringo.
  Fuck Cares: Quick challenge. Name every continent.
  Harry: Europe. Asia. Africa. Oceania. North America. South America. Antarctica.
• Fuck Cares finding out that U.S. geographers in the 1950s created the seven-continent model, and Gringo's reaction.
  Fuck Cares: Called it! It's all the United States' fault! It had its stench all over it!
  Gringo: Isn't it like 3 a.m for you?
  Fuck Cares: Nearly 5 a.m.
  Gringo: Bro, go to sleep.
  Fuck Cares: I don't need sleep. I need to restore the geographical order.
• Fuck Cares and Bowl getting banned for calling geography as inconsistent as zodiac signs and for saying that the stars are continents too, respectively.
  Logical Loop: HOW DARE YOU MOCK ZODIAC SIGNS?! !ban
  Fuck Cares and Bowl: Here we go agai—

Does pineapple go on pizza?

Should we say "Latinx"?

• Bowl deciding he doesn't like Snugglet immediately upon the video starting.
  Snugglet: I'm baaaack!
  Bowl: Who the fuck are you?
  Starla: Omg, welcome back. Where have you been?!
  Snugglet: I've been a little busy.
  Bowl: Get busy again. Bowl doesn't like you.
  Fuck Cares: You met her one second ago.
  Bowl: Bowl doesn't like her.
• Of course, after Snugglet says she'll be out with her "latinx" friends, Bowl believes he was right and drops a gem of a line.
  Fuck Cares: ...did you just say "Latinx"?
  Snugglet: Uh-oh! Homophobe alert!
  Bowl: Bowl really, really doesn't like you. I reject you personally. I'm You-phobic.
• Right after FC gave a big, long speech in Spanish, Bowl decided to "translate" the speech:
  Starla: OMG, I literally don't give a shit if you can speak Spanish, FC. You're not impressing anyone and I'm not gonna translate it.
  Bowl: Well, I translated it and he said that you're fat.
  Fuck Cares: No, I didn't. I said that Latinos born in the USA can barely speak Spanish in the first place, so they have no authority on this debate.
  Bowl: I just translated that and it's French for "Like, really really fat. And ugly."

Do Irish-Americans exist?

Science vs Ethics Debate

• Sure, the whole video is a pretty serious debate about heavy topics of morality, but there is some humor to be found in Harry's last lines:
  For today's dinner, I made sirloin steak with triple-cooked, Parmesan-coated chips, spinach and Béarnaise sauce.
• There's also the irony in Harry advocating human experimentation on lawyers, given that all of their avatars in the video are Ace Attorney characters.

Dark Humor vs "Dark Humor"

• Since the topic of the video is Black Comedy, some of the examples of jokes they give are pretty funny (even if the video itself is serious). Like FC's Usain Bolt joke about outrunning police bullets.
• It's partially Rooting for the Empire here, but the moderator changing FC's name to "Karen" was at least clever.

Twitter Bios are Coded Messages

Should Atheists Celebrate Christmas?

• The ending, in which a rendition of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" plays over the gang shouting petty insults. As many people in the comment section pointed out, it truly feels like Christmas dinner.
  • This is aided, of course, by Harry posting a picture of his dinner.

Another Typical French vs English Debate

• FC had a pretty good comeback to one of Bowl's lines:
  Bowl: Say, what the fuck is "pomme de terre", eh? Tell me, how special must one be to find a POTATO and go: BEHOLD! THE MIGHTY "EARTH APPLE!" THAT, lad, is caveman logic.
  Fuck Cares: You look like a fucking potato but you still call it a face; so what's wrong with that?
• Bowl's iconic "Big Brain" quote:
  Bowl: The average IQ in the UK is ONE MIGHTY point above France's. UK is Big Brain, FC. BIG BRAIN.

The Million Dollar Puzzle - Reflection on Intention

Is Lightning Mc Queen Trans?

• This little exchange:
  Bowl: Bowl is a man of many ambitions, okay?!
  Caffeina: Is that French for "sl*t"?
  Bowl: No. The French word for that is "French". Ask FC.
  Faux Cares: That's so nice of you that when you get destroyed you make sure I sink down with you...
  Bowl: Aye, any time.

This whole monologue on Bowl's part:

Here at B.B.B. (Bowl's Bigotries and Bollocks) we take the identities of our customers very seriously to ensure that we can discriminate against them accurately, for an optimized experience. Bowl fucking loves twitter bios, man. They are a treat to us folk who want to define people by their labels. My favorite one is 'Latinx' because it's versatility breaks new boundaries. With 'Latinx' being the only word so far that refers to people for both their race and gender, I can finally be racist and transphobic at the same time. I'd personally like to thank the word 'Latinx' for inventing 'translatinophobia'; this bigotry will make a fine addition to my collection!

• Bowl's accidental confession:
  Faux Cares: Or maybe he lost them gambling; like that one lad I know who lost his testicle in Monaco.
  Bowl: Dude! I told you that in confidence!

Vegan Cannibalism is the Future

• Harry's admission to being ok with cannibalism is noteworthy, both for how blunt he is and how disturbed the vegan is:
  Vegan: You wouldn't eat a human, would you?
  Harry: I would. Without hesitation. However, it must meet certain standards. It must be seasoned a day in advance, properly seared, and served between blue and medium rare. It is also important to make sure that the human is vegan. I believe vegan humans have more tender meat.
  Vegan: I... don't know how to respond to that.
  Harry: Have dinner with me. We shall eat human legs with potato dauphinoise, courgettes and gin sauce.
  Vegan: I'll pass, thank you.
• There is, of course, Harry's insistence that he is delicious.

Apology Video Gets Me Cancelled

There’s No Legs in the Metaverse!

• Goblin Tyrant making fun of the artstyle of the Metaverse:
  Goblin Tyrant: What the hell is this? Looks like the future is testosterone deficiency. Was masculinity not user-friendly enough or something? Let's be real here. Absolutely no one would want to cuddle with an avatar that looks like a castrated Pinocchio made out of marshmallows soaked in soy. It also annoys me how he looks like he could be anywhere between twelve years old and thirty-seven.
• Bowl's brag, followed by Goblin Tyrant's retort:
  Bowl: The Bowl doesn't get bullied. The Bowl IS the bully.
  Goblin Tyrant: All I remember is Faux Cares beating you to a pulp in Minecraft.
• Bowl's description of the team, leading up to Harry;
  Bowl: Unfortunately fellas, we're no better. I'm always drunk, and entertaining unrealistic fantasies. That's a form of escapism. You guys are always playing Video Games. Another form of escapism. Harry is always cooking, because otherwise he'd vivisect a pedestrian.

Mister Incredible vs Darth Vader Debate

• Harry is incredibly outraged when Absent brings up the notion that Darth Vader could defeat Mr. Incredible with ease. Leading him to say this incredibly enlightening sentence:
  Harry: Preposterous! Mr. Incredible's power is beyond your understanding. Mister Incredible is an incredible Mister.

Should we train eagles to attack our children? PARENTING DEBATE

• Cleophoebs's marriage advice:
  Cleophoebs: A real man would always be happy to be his wife's human-shield.
  Faux Cares: I pity your boyfriend, if that's what you expect from him...
• Cleophoebs dishes out a comeback after FC attempts to dissuade her from punching him:
  Faux Cares: I'm not a parent.
  Cleophoebs: Gimme 10 minutes.
  Bowl: Should I leave you both alone or should I begin taking my trousers off? Because I'm getting uncomfortable...

Auschwitz, racist? PROOF!

Lord of the Rings - Racist or SJW drama?

Would you kill Baby Hitler?

Art vs "Art" video

Americans vs Mexican Food

• Say what you will about Volkeh, but the insult that started this whole debate was out of the ordinary.
  IF YOU LIKE [REDACTED] SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE A TACO UP YOUR ASS?
• Faux Cares' furious response, accompanied by an Atomic F-Bomb in the background:
  I DETECT BULLSHIT OF THE HIGHEST OFFENCE!

A Chat With Death

Odin vs Zeus (Mythology)

Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case Ace Attorney (Part 1)

Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case Ace Attorney (Part 2)

Are Ghosts Real?

"Is this a tin can or a username?"

Amber Heard REACTS to my video, Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Case Ace Attorney

Are videogames part of nature?

Gay lncest is Okay: Proof.

France vs England - Tourism Debate.

Americans vs French Food

Love is Toxic - Gen Z is Doomed

Do Videogames cause violence?

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman - Shadow the Hedgehog

Humor vs Conditioning - Humor is objective

Milk or Cereal First? - Freudian Cereal.

The Toxigma Male Guide - Episode 1 and 2: Getting women/Job Interview

Animal Lover vs Human Hater

How to be Confident / Make A Good First Impression - The Toxigma Male Guide, Episode 3-4.

Is gender identity a philosophy?

"Wh O a Sk Ed..." I don't care.

Is "Culture" a Good Excuse for Violence?

Spider-Man, but your ex is the soundtrack.

Are A.Is sentient? - What is Supersapience?

Halloween vs Dia de Muertos

Fitness isn't Fatphobia

What should we allow in Sports? - Trans Athletes, PE Ds, and ethics.

The Toxigma Male Guide - Good Sportsmanship/How to be a Gentleman.

Overpopulation: We should die.

• Bowl admits that he actually hates London while Cleophoebs is trying to leave London over the traffic problem.
  Cleophoebs: Didn't you have a whole argument about London being better than Paris?
  Bowl: I just wanted to piss off the Froggy. London is one of the worst pieces of sh*t my feet have ever stood on. Why in all seven heavens would you want to go to LONDON?
• During an argument about if sex is degenerate, Harry says that sex "has an opportunity cost" and "distracts you from personal projects." Bowl gives examples of successful people who are/were married and/or had sex, including...
  Bowl: Even Mr. Incredible was married.
  Harry: Don't use Mister Incredible against me.
• Later in the argument, Harry and Bowl argue if sex is okay if there's nothing else to do, like being in a broken car, waiting for help. Harry says that Bowl could fix the car, and that the reason Bowl was calling for help was because he was wasting time fucking. Bowl's response?
  Bowl: Now you sound like those parents who blame everything on videogames. "Breaking News: Londoner stabs Indian guy over a football match." "AARRRRRGH! PEOPLE WOULDN'T STAB EACH OTHER IF PORN DIDN'T MAKE EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH PENETRATION!"

No Noël November

Afterlife - What's the point?

The Lesser Evil - Pick it.

Santa Claus - Friend or Foe?

Should You Be Loved Or Feared? - Machiavelli

"My cramp's have worsened since my husband's murder. The police is doing nothing..."

Americans vs Italian Food

Questions and Answers - I am not a sociopath.

A.I written Ace Attorney

Troll and 4channer argue about dating bodypillows.

Everyone is Here: French Baguette Intelligence

Is Mario Mexican or Italian?

Fast-Fashion vs Women - The problem is here to stay.

'Woman' is NOT a GENDER. It's a NOUN.

Why these languages DON'T need neutral PRONOUNS

I spoke to Chat GPT about cloning humans. - I regretted it.

Should the Death Penalty be legal?

How Is China Part Of The LGBTQ?

Two Types of Pride Flag.

How to be Time Efficient - The Toxigma Male Guide Ep 7 - 8

Anti-heroes are not what you might think.

Condescending Christian vs Pretentious Atheist

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