Funny / Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk.

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• When the Warden finds Oghren slaughtering a bunch of Darkspawn at Amarathine Keep, Oghren briefly turns around with an extremely enthusiastic wave of his hand and then continues killing darkspawn.
• Oghren's Joining:
  Oghren: *drinks blood* *BURP!* Not bad...
  Varel: o_O
  Warden: *shrug*
  • The funny part is that the Warden is so used to Oghren's shenanigans that they barely react to that.
• Oghren's reaction to being trapped in the Fade in the Blackmarsh.
  Oghren: What happens to my body while I'm here? Someone could outrage my modesty!
• The "Can I have a pony?" conversation with Oghren.
  Warden: I bet you can't tell me what you just said.
  • The follow-up — Oghren's reaction when the Warden gives him the Toy Horse gift and reminds him of his request — is also funny as well as rather sweet.
    • If you have the Toy Horse with you, you can give it to him then and there instead of waiting for a follow-up.
    Warden: It's a rocking horse. It rocks.
• Oghren again. When you get trapped by the Architect in the Silverite Mines, your stuff gets stolen by the Architect's "experimental subjects". Oghren is displeased by the subject wearing his equipment, and lets loose with this gem:
  Oghren: "NO ONE TOUCHES OGHREN'S JUNK AND LIVES!"
• Oghren will later tell you about his darkspawn dream, which consists of a Broodmothered Hespith and her minions... having a tea party, apparently.
  Oghren: Hespith screamed and a thousand darkspawn burst from her! Then the darkspawn surrounded me and started talking. Asking me if I would like lemon in my tea, could I please teach them to read and write, and one of them kept repeating, "Where's the baby?" And that's when I woke up.
  Warden: Uh, that's not a Grey Warden dream.
  • In that same scene, he will ask if he's more sensitive to darkspawn blood.
    Warden: You were not supposed to drink all of it!
• Showing that the expansion is worth buying is the little argument Anders and Oghren can have. They mock and hurl insults at each other, eventually culminating in this moment:
  Oghren: (in a mockery of Anders' accent) "Oh no, big templar man! What are you going to do with that sword?"
  Anders: Ew.
  Oghren: Don't play with fire unless you wanna get burned, son.
  • The amusing thing is, in the sequel a male!Hawke can romance Anders, so Anders' disgusted "ew" isn't a matter of Incompatible Orientation.
• After some time, Oghren gets a visit from Felsi, and gives some insight as to why he joined the Wardens.
  Oghren: Oh c'mon, didn't you say it would be... hot?
  Felsi: We were role-playing.
  Warden: I'm not listening!
• The Warden can speak with Anders about why the Templars want to catch him so badly. Anders comes up with the excuse that the Templars think he's a blood mage or something. However, if Anders is made to choose Blood Magic as a specialization, the Warden can then point out that Anders does have a reason to be chased. Anders will laugh and reply, "Well, the irony is not lost on me."
• This conversation with Oghren.
• Oghren starts poking fun at Anders' robe. Anders calmly explains that the robes are functional in the, ahem, tightly regulated confines of a Circle Tower. You and a "friend" can slip off into a quiet corner and, ahem, take care of business without the Templars noticing, and then get back to your routine, with none of the fuss of pants and belts. The icing on the cake is Oghren's "Really?" response.
• Oghren's increasingly frustrated attempts to get Justice to tell him if... everything works. It gets to the point where he starts screaming in frustration.
• This precious party-banter gem if you have Nathaniel and Anders in your party:
  Anders: So you're a Howe?
  Nathaniel: Do you have a point, mage?
  Anders: Hey, now, I'm quite fond of the Howes. (Beat) I'm also fond of the Whys, the Whos and the Whats!
  Nathaniel: How clever.
  Anders: It's shameful how long it took me to come up with that.
• When Oghren is talking about beginning the Joining.
  Oghren: Now where's the big cup? I'll gargle and spit.
  The Warden: You're not allowed to spit.
  Oghren: (laughs) That's what I always say.
• During the quest "A Daughter Ransomed", if you are playing the same character from Origins then one of the conversation options is to tell the band of kidnappers that you are the hero of Ferelden who has spilled the blood of countless foes already. Cue a dozen kidnappers soiling their smallclothes. Some of them run off to the side, a few jump off a cliff to escape you.
  • The persuasion route has the Warden conning them into handing over the girl before they will agree to hand over the money, then pointing out their stupidity since they've just handed over their only bargaining chip. Oops. Doubles as a moment of awesome.
• Anders' comment when approaching the chasm at Knotwood Hills: "Ooh, it's an unstable crumbling chasm! Let's go play in it!"
  • Even funnier, that line is also a stealth Call-Back to a similar line in Mass Effect: "Who votes we take the vehicle into the creepy underground tunnel?"
• Velanna flipping her shit when Nathaniel calls her ears 'clownish'.
• Nathaniel is a wellspring of perfect deadpan comedy, particularly in his apparent campaign to drive Velanna up the walls (which may or may not also be his way of flirting with her). For instance:
  Velanna: I am simply wondering how your kind can call yourselves "nobles." It seems ironic.
  Nathaniel: We like irony. And it rolls off the tongue better than "oppressors."
  Velanna: Ah, so you're a funny human.
  Nathaniel: Not I. I wouldn't dare lighten your mood, my lady.
  • And later:
    Velanna: You asked me if I believed that my ancestors were once immortal.
    Nathaniel: And where in that question was it implied that I believed otherwise?
    Velanna: Then you do believe the elves were immortal.
    Nathaniel: I didn't say that either.
    Velanna: You... are... exasperating.
• The following moment unfolds over five banter sequences: Oghren feeds Velanna a story about how dwarves are born from rocks - gray-streaked ones are boys, pink ones are girls. Velanna actually asks Sigrun if it's true, much to Sigrun's amusement. Sigrun then admits to Oghren that it was Actually Pretty Funny ("She was huffing like a constipated bronto!") Not to be outdone, Velanna gets her own back by giving a hungover Oghren a "remedy" that turns out to be a Hideous Hangover Cure
• Queen Anora, Anders, and Ser Rylock out in front of Vigil's Keep:
  Rylock: Your Majesty, beware! This man is a dangerous criminal!
  Anora: I beg your pardon?
  Anders: She means me.
  • King Alistair, meanwhile, thinks Rylock's talking about Oghren. "Oh, the dwarf's a bit of an arse, but I wouldn't say..."
• Sigrun attempts to get Anders to demonstrate his magic by destroying a random bush. "Because it's there! It's an evil bush!" He counteroffers to entertain her with his Spicy Shimmy.
• If you attempt to unlock a chest with insufficient Lockpicking skill, and Sigrun is in your party, she'll groan and mutter, "Fail."
• Most of the childish pranks conducted during the "Blight Orfans" questline, a fake children's charity that is (not so) secretly orchestrated by the drunk patrons of the Crown and Lion tavern.
  • Segues into a Heartwarming Moment when, if Amaranthine was saved, one of the epilogues reveals the leader of the group had a Heel–Face Turn and decided to actually make it into a real charity.
• While this goes for pretty much the entire game, there's nothing quite like busting out of the Architect's dungeon and battling your way out of the silverite mine...while wearing no armor or clothing of any sort. You want to take the Warden-Commander's equipment? You're just going to wind up with a naked man (or woman) slaughtering their way out of your headquarters.
• Calling Velanna out on her Hair-Trigger Temper.
  Velanna: You make me out to be some kind of shrill harpy!
  The Warden: My mistake. Yelling is clearly out of character for you.
• A lot of the party dialogue when speaking to The Mother, but especially the following.
  The Mother: Ahh, but perhaps The Warden would like to hear how it was that The Father began the blight. You want the source of the Archdemon? The one who brought all our kind to the surface? (Indicates The Architect.) HERE HE IS!
  The Architect: (Hangs his head.)
  Anders: Ouch. Score one for The Mother, huh?
• If you play as an imported male human Noble, during Nathaniel's quest, his sister will say that her father wanted to marry her to "that stuck up Cousland". All of your reactions are some variations I'm Standing Right Here.
  Delilah: Oh... that was you... AWKWARD!
• After several banters of sexual harassment, Sigrun gets fed up and calls Oghren's bluff.
  Sigrun: Fine, Oghren. You win. Take me. Take me now.
  Oghren: Er...
  Sigrun: Why the hesitation? I want a big helping of that secret recipe of Oghren's. Served hot.
• The Warden mocking The First when the latter realized he was tricked.
  The Warden: You weren't "the first" of your class, I take it.
  The Warden: Seems that you was considered "expendable".

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