The Spiderses is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Troll Fic by Argembarger.
One day, Twilight Sparkle tries to cast a new spell. It turns her and, for some reason, Big Macintosh into spiders. They then have lots and lots of spider sex. Twilight gets pregnant with spider babies, who then hatch and kill Spike. There is a very exciting chase, and the two run into another spider named Miriam Webster and one of Pinkie Pie's sisters. The baby spiders bring Spike back to life by spitting all his juices back, Twilight and Big Mac are turned back into ponies by Miriam, the author has a Self-Insert cameo as an alicorn, and Twilight returns home.
Now stretch that one paragraph across a few pages, misspell almost every word, use no grammar whatsoever, and voila! You have The Spiderses, the answer to My Immortal and Half-Life: Full Life Consequences.
The fic can be read on Pastebin here
, or on Fimfiction here. There are also a few dramatic readings on Youtube, if you are so inclined, with the equivalent of the Gmod version as part of Rainbow Dash Presents.
Tropes:
- And That's Terrible: After Twilight gets turned into a spider, she decides to not get help from Spike because he might squish her out of fear. The narration notes that Spike doing so would "make her dead spider twilight abd that is bad."
- Animal Talk: Averted. Spiders can understand pony speech, but not the other way around. Pinkie Pie's sister is an exception.
- Art Evolution: For a few short paragraphs, the fic suddenly improves in quality...just long enough to kill Spike before getting even worse than before.
- Artistic License – Arachnids: Twilight's spider eggs are described as being in a large pile, growing larger over time, and being translucent. Most house spiders contain their eggs in opaque sacs where observing changes is impossible until the spiderlings hatch.
- Artistic License – Biology: Spike is killed when the baby spiders consume all his bodily fluids, but he returns to life when the fluids are put back in him.
- Ascended Extra: Pinkie's sister. It's never specified whether it's Inky or Blinky.
- Author Avatar: Argembarger suddenly appears as an alicorn for the sole purpose of Twilight trying to have "pony sex" with him. He blows her off and leaves in the same paragraph he's introduced.
- Back from the Dead: The baby spiders bring Spike back to life by putting his vital fluids back into his body
- Death Is Cheap: Sucked all the juices out of Spike? No biggie, just spit them back into him and he'll come back to life like nothing happened.
- Department of Redundancy Department:
- Twilight is said to know a magic spell is magical and casts it because her cutie mark is magic-related.
- The narration states that the spell "made everything bigger and eight" immediately before Twilight asks why everything's bigger and eight.
- Forced Transformation: Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh are turned into spiders as a result of a spell Twilight casts.
- Friendly Neighborhood Spider: Miriam Webster, who turns Twilight and Bic Mac back into ponies.
- Friends with Benefits: Twilight simply refers to Big Mac as a "good friend" at the end of the fic despite having spider sex and babies with him, implying their relationship is this.
- Metaphorgotten: Spider sex is compared to a bag of potato chips tossed into a chain-link fence before the author admits they don't know where the metaphor is going anymore.
- Remember the New Guy?: The Author Avatar is presented as Twilight Sparkle's "bestest friend in the world."
- Rouge Angles of Satin: To the point where it's almost illegible.
- Spider Swarm: Twilight and Big Mac's spider babies after they hatch. They drink all of Spike's bodily fluids.
- Spoof Aesop: "Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that spiders are creepy, but being a spider is better than being dead."
- Stylistic Suck: Most of the fic has numerous typos, Beige Prose, and overly redundant descriptions of what's going on. The fic suddenly switches to using perfect grammar and fancier words for a few paragraphs to describe the baby spiders hatching and killing Spike, then goes back to its usual style.
- Switching P.O.V.: The narration randomly shifts from third-person to Twilight Sparkle's first-person.
- Transformation Fiction: The story revolves around Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh being transformed into spiders.
- Troll Fic: Eeyup. Trollestia greatly endorsed this as a "GODLIKE FANFICTION EXPERIENCE".
- Wave of Babies: The spider babies after they hatch.
- A Wizard Did It: Literally so when Big Mac and Twilight were turned back to ponies by Merriam Webster.
- Word Salad Title: The chapter titles.
