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The Thief
The protagonist. His break-in inside a museum is what kickstarts the story.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: He is the one who opened the box containing Goblins when looking for things to steal.
Chop Goblins
The main antagonistic force, imprisoned long ago by unknown forces. After being released, they are free to go on a rampage.
In General
- Ax-Crazy: They're murderous, chaotic and insane, ready to hack anything they see to pieces.
- For the Evulz: They engage in great amounts of destruction and time travel shenanigans just for the sake of it. Or so it seems...
- Giggling Villain: They tend to emit high pitched laughs as they wreak havoc throughout the game.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Despite their size, the horde of them can chop down entire buildings. Averted in case of Big Choppers.
Brown Goblin
A rank-and-file Chop Goblin armed with a cleaver. Is a melee fighter. Debut at the Museum level.- The Goomba: The weakest enemy that only has a melee attack. It's so weak it dies to one hit from the starting antique dagger.
Green Goblin
A slightly tougher Chop Goblin that can throw cleavers. Debut at the Museum level.- Long-Range Fighter: He prefers throwing cleavers from afar and is usually positioned far from melee range.
Chop Goblinda
A female Chop Goblin that uses the power of insults to hurt. Debut at the Streets level.- Hitscan: Their attack has no visible projectile and instantly hits the player if he is not behind cover.
- Make Me Wanna Shout: They attack by screaming insults at the player. Surprisingly, they hurt physically.
- More Deadly Than the Male: They are tougher then both male Goblin types introduced earlier and their attack is a hitscan. They still need to charge it, though, and can be interrupted.
- Smurfette Principle: They are the only Chop Goblin that are female.
Car Hijakers
A gang of Brown Goblins who have hijacked a car. A mid-boss of the Streets level.- The Bus Came Back: While there is only one of them in the main game, Remix Levels , which came out later, feature more of them at the Streets level and later Museum.
- Car Fu: Their whole shtick is trying to ram the protagonist to the death.
- Dynamic Entry: They blow up the wall of the building and rush in to the parking lot to fight the protagonist.
- Knockback: Their ramming attack can launch the player into the air, which can be useful for getting otherwise unreachable goods.
- Mini-Boss: Appear in the middle of the Streets level and have a rather modest hp pool, dying in a couple of shotgun shots, as well as only one ramming attack.
Nospurratus
Feline creatures born of Dracula's dark magic. Debut at the Dracula's Castle.- Cats Are Mean: They are hostile cat creatures serving Dracula and Goblins.
- Lightning Bruiser: Surprisingly quick and sturdy for their size.
- Mix-and-Match Creatures: Despite being state to be the cat, they have antlers, vampire teeth and huge eyes.
Big Chopper
Hulking brutes of Chop Goblin army that can throw multiple cleavers at once. Debut at the Greece level.- Giant Mook: The biggest goblin type there is, as well as the mostly bulky-looking.
Hack Goblinator
Cyborg Chop Goblins that debut in The Future level and replace Green Goblins there.- Cyber Cyclops: Futuristic goblins that have a single visor.
- Cyborg: Half-goblins, half-machines, they have synthetic voices, mechanical exterior, red visors and laser cleavers.
- Elite Mooks: Replace Green Goblins for the Future level, but are very common, have more health and damage, as well as attack more frequently.
- Long-Range Fighter: Like their lesser brethren, they can hurl cleavers from afar. They do it more frequently, and they hurt more, however.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Their singular eye is red, and they are numerous Elite Mooks.
Cyber Goblin
A gigantic holographic Chop Goblin that lies at the very heart of the Chop Goblin facility in the future.- Big Bad: It seems to be responsible for controlling the facility in the Future as well as Goblin army. Killing him restores the normal timeline, further suggesting his influence.
- Flunky Boss: It is guarded by a huge amount of Goblins of every type, barring Green Goblins, since Hack Goblinators replace them.
- Huge Holographic Head: How it looks like, a blue holographic head of Chop Goblin.
- Load-Bearing Boss: After its destruction, the Bad Future is undone and everything is returned to normal, with the protagonist even returning to the present.
- Zero-Effort Boss: It dies from one hit of anything. That being said, it is preceeded by a whole platoon of every goblin type.
Dracula
An ancient vampire awoken from his slumber by Chop Goblins and siding with them. A boss of Dracula's Castle.
- Damage-Sponge Boss: Easily the toughest encounter, soaking in tons of ammo. His arena is choke full of Impaler ammo.
