Self Demonstrating / Beavis and Butt-Head

"Uh huh huh huh...heh heh heh heh..."

(Beavis and Butt-Head are not real. They are stupid cartoon people completely made up by Mike Judge, whose voice you should be hearing right now. Beavis and Butt-Head are not role models. They are dumb, crude, thoughtless, ugly, sexist, self-destructive fools, but for some reason, the little weinerheads make us laugh. Some of the tropes you see below would cause a real person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, and possibly banned by the admins. To put it another way: Don't Try This at Home.)

Some intro rock music plays amidst an exchange of "Uh huh huh" and "Heh heh heh" laughter. Cut to a sky-patterned title card that reads, "BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD in TV TROPES", in a jagged font. As the intro music comes to a close, we transition to a pair of teenagers seated atop a couch.

Hey, Butt-Head, what's "shelf-demostrating"?

Uh, I think it's, like, where we're able to talk about ourselves and how cool we are, without some fartknocker doing it for us.

Whoa, really?! Heh heh. That sounds pretty cool. Um, heh. Hey, how's it go- *SMACK* OW!

Shut up, buttmunch. I wanna do the talking. Uh huh huh huh. Do. Uh huh huh huh.

Oh, um, okay. Heh heh. Sorry 'bout that. Heh heh.

So, like, uh, he's Beavis and I'm Butt-Head. And we're a couple of guys who hang around, go to school, and sometimes work at Burger World.

Only 'cuz we have to. Heh heh. It's not fair! Heh.

Shut up, asswipe! I'm, like, doing all the talking here. Remember?

Oh yeah. Heh. Sorry. Heh heh. I forgot. Heh heh.

Uhhh, we also watch music videos and other stuff, because MTV also got crap like Jersey Shore on. Uh huh huh. So, like, you can read all these tropes about us and stuff. Uh huh huh, tropes...

Heh heh heh heh...tropes.

Hey, Beavis, check it out. McDicker did one of these too. Uh huh huh huh.

Whoa, really? Heh heh. That's pretty cool! And so does Buzzcut. Heh heh. Once we're done here, can we, like, "mantle-ize" their pages?

Yeah, uh huh huh. That would be cool! Uh huh huh huh huh.

---

Come to Butt-Head...uh huh huh:

• Accidental Hero: Me and Beavis tried to score with this one chick, who said she would do it if we got to Washington. That "unit" those dudes were looking for, like, dropped in my hand, and the President said me and Beavis were heroes. Uh huh huh, "unit".
• Accidental Misnaming: A lot of dumbasses get our names wrong, huh huh. They call us things like Travis and Bernard, Beaver and Buff-Coat, or Beavis and Nut-Head. And people call us, stupid, huh huh!
  • Yeah, and Anderson keeps getting our names wrong too because he's like, old and senile and stuff, heheh. One time when we wrecked his yard, he told the cops our names were "Butt-Hole" and "Joe". Another time, he told us about those "two little bastards, Buford and Bernardo." That dumbass didn't even recognize us, heheheheh!
• Air Guitar: DAAAHHH DAAAHHH DAHNAH DAH. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA, DAAA-NAA DAHHH.
• All Men Are Perverts: We wanna score, huh huh. And see some thingies.
• Amazon Chaser: Heh heh, I think that having a chick that could kick your ass would be pretty cool, heh heh. Because then she'd go and kick the asses of anyone who tries to piss you off. Heh heh heh heh. That would RULE!
• Amusing Injuries: Mostly Beavis. Uh huh huh huh. It's pretty cool.
  • Um, what're you talking about, Butt-Head- [slap!] OW!!! Cut it out, butthole!!
• Back from the Dead: Uh, we, like, died one time and went to Hell, uh huh huh huh huh. It was pretty cool, cause there was, like, crap everywhere and we were on Satan's apartment. But then when we tried digging in deeper to find the demon chicks, some asswipe angel came in and brought us back to life. It sucked.
• Bathe Her and Bring Her to Me: Uh huh huh huh. That phrase is cool. If I ever, like, get me some dudes who'll get me a chick, I'm totally going to say that, huh huh huh. (speaking in a Vampire Vords accent) Bathe her and bring her to me!
• Bears Are Bad News: No way! Bears are cool. One time, when we were out in the wood, huh huh, a bear came out and mauled Van Driessen while he was playing his wuss music. It ruled, huh huh huh.
  • Uh, but there was that one time where a bunch of bears broke into our house and stole our nachos, heh heh. That sucked. And when we tried to set a trap to catch them, we, like, got stuck in it with them. That sucked even more!
• Being Good Sucks: Uh, we, like, once tried to do a good thing when we got a load, huh huh huh, of Spanish Fly off Anderson. We thought we would replace the punch at the school dance with it, which would make everyone horny and make them all wanna score. Huh huh huh huh. Preferably with us.
  • Yeah. And so, like, we started drinking it too. And we drank and we drank and we drank, and we became more and more ready to score, heh heh. But then we just fell asleep! And when we woke up, some asswipe drank all our Spanish Fly and we were in a hospital! We ended up not scoring at all! And no one else did either! It, like, wasn't fair! And nobody appreciated what we did for them anyway! It sucked!
  • Yeah. So we decided we're never doing anything for anyone ever again. If you want to score, you go do it yourself, buttmunch. Don't come asking us for help, 'cause we're not gonna give it, huh huh huh.
• Berserk Button: Don't call me a buttknocker, heh heh. It really pisses me off! Like this one time where Butt-Head kept calling me a "buttknocker", and I had to kick his ass. Call me a buttknocker, and I'll kick your ass! Heh heh.
  • You and what other buttknockers? Huh huh. *WHAM* OOUUUAH! ...Dammit Beavis...
    • Also like, Butt-Head wants to do it with my mom and that pisses me off!
  • Umm, the one thing that probably pisses me off even more than being called a buttknocker is anybody who complains about scoring too much, heheh. One time me and Butt-Head were watching TV and we saw this dude whose girlfriend called him out for ghosting her. When she asked why, the dude said she was always wanting to do it with him and he was sick of it. Dammit, his complaining about scoring too much when some other people have never scored made me so mad I smashed the TV while I was screaming threats at that dumbass. If he'd been there in person, I probably would've killed him, heheheheheheheh!
    • Yeah, and I completely, totally agreed with Beavis, huh huh. Normally I'd have beaten the living crap out of Beavis if he wrecked our TV, but he actually had a good reason for doing it!
• Bloody Hilarious: There was this one time, where Beavis got a bloody nose and he bled all over and stuff. And then there was that time he sawed off his finger in woodshop. Uh huh huh, "wood".
• Body Motifs: Uh, I have a body motif alright, uh huh huh huh huh. Or rather, I have a butt motif. Huh huh huh huh huh! Butts are cool.
• Book Dumb: Uh, books suck. Huh huh huh huh. And you're a dork if you read them. Me and Beavis don't need to because we're, like, already really smart or something. At least, I am, huh huh huh.
  • Hey, Butt-Head, didn't we write a few books in the '90s?
  • Uh, yeah. But our books were cool. They were about things like chicks and aliens and thingies and how to make movies in Hollywood and stuff. Not like the crap they make you read in school, huh huh huh huh.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: Uh, I can like, say some of the lines Beavis says, huh huh huh. Check it out: boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing.
  • Heh heh, you still can't do that too good Butt-Head. Don't try it. Heh heh heh.
• Buffy Speak: We, like, have a lot of words and stuff, for, uh, other stuff. Like "thingies". Uh huh huh.
• Burger Fool: Sometimes, we have to work at Burger World because that manager dude makes us. But then we get to melt stuff on the grill, huh huh. We also tried to get worker's constipation once, but kicking Beavis's ass didn't work.
• Butt-Monkey: So, me and Beavis have gotten our asses kicked, sometimes. But he's more of a butt monkey than me. And an ass goblin. And a buttmunch. And a...
• Buxom Beauty Standard: Uh huh huh huh huh. Chicks with big thingies rule! The bigger, the better I always say, huh huh huh huh.
• Casanova Wannabe: Hey, baby. Uh huh huh. Do you, like, wanna get it on? Uh huh huh.
  • Heh heh, hey, how's it going? Heh heh heh.
• Centipede's Dilemma: Uh, this one time, me and Beavis were thinking about how we take a whizz, uh huh huh huh huh. And then we, like, forgot how to and couldn't for two weeks, uh huh huh huh huh huh.
• Character Catchphrase: Me and Beavis have a lot of these, because we're so cool. That Mike Judge dude didn't get how "This sucks" could be one of these, but that's just because he's not very cool.
  • What do you mean, he's not cool? Heh heh. I mean, like, he came up with us!
  • Uh... oh yeah! Uh huh huh huh.
• Cheek Copy: I tried to copy my butt one time, and my butt broke the glass. I was stuck, which sucked, because I didn't want to lose my butt! Heh heh. I eventually got out and they put stitches in my butt. I wanted to see what they looked like, so I tried to copy my butt...
  • Well, maybe if you weren't a dumbass, you wouldn't break the glass, Beavis, uh huh huh. Uh, would you like a copy of my butt?
• Cheated Angle: Heh heh, I'm, like, always shown from the side and stuff. For some reason, I just rarely get seen from head-on. It's, like, really weird or something, heh heh.
• Construction Vehicle Rampage: One time we took the steamroller Anderson had in his driveway for a joyride, heheh. We got to wreck the school and piss off McDicker. We were looking for Todd to show him how cool we were, but Stewart reminded us he'd dropped out, heheheh.
  • Yeah, and while we were out with the steamroller Anderson and his neighbor were sitting in Anderson's yard like a couple of dumbasses, huh huh. When we brought it back we turned it off, which made Anderson pissed. Then he actually did something cool for once and punched his neighbor in the face!
• Chick Magnet/Kavorka Man: This one time, when a bunch of people wrote letters to Santa Butt-Head, all these chicks totally wanted to do it with me! Heh heh! But Butt-Head wouldn't give me those letters! Heh heh. I would have scored, if he wasn't a dillhole.
• Collector of the Strange: Heh heh heh, I like to collect my turds and keep them in jars in the basement. Heh heh heh.
  • You're disgusting, Beavis.
• Despair Event Horizon: Hey Beavis, remember when we were supposed to do that chick, but then she like, didn't show up? Huh huh.
  • Dammit, we were supposed to score with that chick! We travelled a-a hundred miles just to score and we didn't get to score! Let's face it, Butthead, we're never gonna score! (Settle down, Beav-) NO! I WON'T SETTLE DOWN! NOT THIS TIME! WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! IT'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN! WE'RE JUST GONNA GET OLD LIKE ALL THESE OLD PEOPLE, BUT THEY'VE ALL PROBABLY SCORED! WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! (WHACK)
  • Shutup, asswipe. Huh huh
• Determinator: I wanna make a lot of money and score. And I'm not stopping until I do both. A lot. Huh huh.
  • Heh heh, yeah, me too! Heh heh.
• The Dividual: A lot of people wonder if we're, like, brothers or cousins or something, uh huh huh. They say we have a lot in...uh..."come on", huh huh. Diarrhea even asked us if we had the same Dad. We said that maybe we did, huh huh.
• The Dog Bites Back: Heh heh, sometimes Butt-Head says something that really pisses me off! So I kick him in the nads! Heh heh. Like this!
  • *WHAM* OOUUUAH! ...Cut it out, buttmunch.
• Dope Slap: I, like, have to give these to Beavis, when he starts acting like a dumbass. Which is, like, all the time, huh huh.
  • Shut up, bunghole! I do not- *SMACK* AAH! *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* OW! WHOA! Heh heh. Um, what was I talking about?
• Drives Like Crazy: Uh huh huh huh, I drive like a badass! Uh huh huh huh. There was, like, this one time at driver's ed where I made Buzzcut soil himself with my driving. Uh huh huh huh. That was cool.
  • Yeah, heh! And we killed him too. Heh heh!
  • He didn't die, dumbass. He was, like, un-continuous. But there was blood. Huh huh huh. That kicked ass!
• Dumb Blonde: Huh huh, yeah, that's Beavis alright. He's blonde. And really stupid, huh huh huh huh. Unlike me.
• Everybody Hates Mathematics: Yeah, really. Math sucks.
  • Heh heh, yeah. I really hate numbers. There's, like, too many of them and stuff, heh heh heh.
• Everyone Has Standards: Uh, it's like, we once saw this video with naked chicks and stuff in it at school, huh huh huh huh. And it was pretty cool. But, uh, then it had this one part that showed a chick giving birth. It was disgusting.
  • Yeah, yeah, really. I couldn't get a stiffy for a week after seeing that, heh heh heh.
  • Uh, we were hesitant to ask that Samara chick out, huh huh huh.
  • Yeah, yeah, we didn't our nads to shrivel up or explode or something like that, heh heh heh.
  • One time, Beavis told me he keeps his turds in jars in the basement instead of like, flushing them down the toilet, huh huh huh. And I told him that's disgusting and stuff.
  • Yeah, heh heh, it is pretty disgusting.
  • Y'know, heh. If there's one thing that like, really pisses me off, it's complaining about having too much sex! Yeah! Heh heh heh. I mean some of us, y'know like me, don't have any sex! Ever! I don't know what number multiple is, but it's better than zero! Y'know there's... starving kids in poor countries, and they probably get to score, but I don't! Heh heh.
    • For once I'm not gonna say settle down, Beavis, you're absolutely right. Uh huh huh huh.
• Evil Is Cool: Yeah, really. If you're, like, some dude who does good, uh huh huh, then you're a wuss. Uh huh huh huh huh.
  • Yeah, heh heh. And then you go to that place in the clouds where all you get to do is wear a bathrobe and play wuss music on your harp while some old guy reads a book to you about your life. It sucks.
  • But, uh, if you're evil, then it means you get to kick people's asses, commit all sorts of crimes, and do all other sorts of cool stuff, huh huh huh. And then, like, you get rich and chicks throw themselves at you. Because they like being with a bad guy or something, uh huh huh huh huh.
  • Yeah! And then when you die, you go to Hell, where there's FIRE! And demon chicks that want to do you! And everything smells like turds! Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah, that's where I wanna go. Being evil RULES!
• Faking the Dead: Heh heh, like one time, we decided to stop going to school and like, nobody made us go. Heh heh heh heh. And when they called, we said we were dead. It worked too, because we still didn't go to school!
• Farts on Fire: Uh huh huh huh, this one time, Beavis was about to cut the cheese, huh huh huh huh, and then he, huh huh huh huh huh. He, huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh...well, you had to be there, but it was pretty cool.
  • No it wasn't, Butt-Head. It really hurt and I had to go to the hospital to save my butt. And I ended up farting fire. Heh heh heh heh heh, yeah, fire, FIRE! Heh heh heh heh heh!
• "Freaky Friday" Flip: Uhh, this one time, we got our asses kicked in a store, and that caused us to switch bodies and stuff. I became Beavis, huh huh huh huh.
  • Heh heh, yeah. And I became Butt-Head.
  • Huh huh, yeah. But then Beavis started pissing me off, so I kicked his ass. By, uh, kicking my ass which was really his ass, huh huh huh. I even hit myself in the nads to make sure he's never gonna score, huh huh huh huh.
  • Shut up, Butt-Head!
• Full-Name Basis: Uh, it's like, my first name is Butt and my second name is Head. And you're gonna call me by my full name or else I'm gonna go over to your house and kick your ass, huh huh huh.
• Future Loser: Uh, it's like, there's these two dudes who are like us except they're old and stupid and they haven't scored, uh huh huh huh huh. Because they, like, came from another university or something.
  • Heh heh, yeah. University sucks! Which is, like, why we're never gonna go, heh heh heh.
• Genius Ditz: Some people think that we're actually really smart and stuff, because me and Butt-Head watch music videos and talk about them. It's, like, we just know what sucks and what doesn't suck.
• Gonk: Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a stud, huh huh. But this probably explains why Beavis looks so stupid.
  • Shut up, fartknocker! I look cool! Heh heh.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: Huh huh huh huh. Sespians are cool. When I see two girls kissing, it gives me a special feeling, huh huh huh huh.
  • Heh heh, yeah, me too! It kinda, heh heh, makes me wanna make a stool, heh heh heh. (higher pitch) Poop!
  • Dammit, Beavis, what the hell is wrong with you?
• Gratuitous Spanish: Uh, burritos? Huh huh huh. Uh...guacamole!
  • Um...spaghetti!
  • That's Italian, dumbass!
  • Heh heh, oh yeah.
• Groin Attack: Sometimes Butt-Head really pisses me off, like this one time he kept smacking me for liking this one Bon Jovi video, and I kicked him right in the nads! Heh heh. That was cool.
  • Um, oh yeah, I did again when he said I wasn't a firework. Heh heh, I'm an M80.
• Hates Being Touched: AHH, don't touch me! I'll kick your ass! Heh heh heh heh. Unless you're a chick. Then we can like, heh heh heh, you know, do it.
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": Uh, we, like, named this trope and stuff. We're smart.
  • Except for like, this one time they said Snooki liked hot salami and it it wasn't that funny. Like, they were just trying too hard or something.
• His Name Really Is "Barkeep": My name really is Butt-Head, not Buford or any of those other wussy names some of you dorks come up with for me! Just use my real name, or I'll, like, come out of your computer and kick your ass!
• Hollywood Satanism: There was this one time I met a Satanist and he, like, invited me to his lair above his mom's garage to talk about low taxes and Libertatarianism and stuff and I was like "That's not evil, that's just stupid!" Heh heh.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Todd's pretty cool. I mean, he kicks our asses, sometimes. But that's just because he's really cool, huh huh.
  • People say Stewart's this cause he like, thinks we're his friends and wants to hang out but he's a dork and we just go over to watch his TV. And look at his hot mom.
• Hospital Epilogue: Sometimes we end up in the, uh, "hostipal" because of the cool things we do, huh huh. Like when me and Beavis were trying to imitate that Ben Franklin dude and got electrocuted, or when Beavis burned his ass and started farting fire. That was cool!
  • No, Butt-Head, that sucked! The coolest thing we did was when we tried to become werewolves so we could get chicks like that Edward Cullen dude, heh heh. And it worked, because we met a couple of chicks who drove us to the hospital. Boii-yoiiinnnggg...
• The Hyena: Uh, like, this one time, we were laughing so much in school, and McDicker got pissed at us. Uh huh huh huh huh. So then he like, made it so that we couldn't laugh for like, a whole week. It sucked.
  • Yeah, heh heh. But then Buzzcut began talking about sex. Heh heh heh heh heh heh. And he, heh heh heh heh heh heh, talked about the wiener, heh heh heh heh heh heh. And the Virginia, heh heh heh heh heh. And masturbation! Heh heh heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! It ruled! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
  • Huh huh huh huh huh huh! Yeah! Huh huh huh huh. But like, we still couldn't laugh. Which sucked.
  • Heh heh heh heh...masturbation. Heh heh heh heh!
• I Banged Your Mom: Uh huh huh huh. Hey, Beavis. Guess what? I scored with your mom.
  • Heh heh. Shut up, Butt-Head! And no, you didn't!
• Innocently Insensitive: Uh, this one time, Stewart's mom was wondering where Stewart had gone because he hadn't come home, heh heh heh heh heh. Even to take a dump, heh heh. So I said that maybe somebody killed him and buried him in a shallow grave! Heh heh heh heh. And, like, that made her cry for some reason. I didn't get it. I was just, like, trying to help or something, heh heh heh heh.
• Insufferable Imbecile: Huh huh, yeah, Beavis is really stupid. And he pisses me off a lot. That buttknocker really needs to get his ass kicked more.
  • Butt-Head, I'll kick you in the nads again. Don't call me that.
• Intercourse with You: Come to Butt-Head, uh huh huh huh. Come a little closer...
  • Hey, Butt-Head, what time is it? I think COPS is on!
    • Dammit Beavis, knock it off. I'm trying to score.
• Intergenerational Friendship: Heh heh. We like, met this one chick on a plane, and she was real old, but she did a whole lot of sluts in Vegas! Heh heh heh heh! She was pretty cool.
• It's a Wonderful Plot: Uh, I like, once got visited by this old dude who went and showed me how things would be if I was never born, huh huh huh huh. And like, after seeing McDicker be all happy and stuff, and Beavis be an even bigger wuss and get bossed around by Stuart, I, like, learned a valuable lesson or something, huh huh. That even though the world sucks, it would suck more if I wasn't in it, huh huh huh huh.
• Jerkass: Uh, it's called not being a wuss, dork.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Yeah, heh heh heh. A wuss. Heh Heh. I mean I don't do some stuff like Butt-Head does, but I'm still cool, heh heh. Don't make me kick your ass.
• Last-Name Basis: Heh heh, I'm Beavis. That's, like, my last name or something. I, like, don't have a first name or at least, I don't remember what it is, heh heh heh heh.
• Lethal Chef: Work sucks, heh heh. I get back at our dumbass Burger World manager by doing things like frying worms and serving them as curly fries, heh heh.
  • Uh, don't forget when you got fourteen people sent to the "hostipal" because you were, uh..."handling your meat" while you were cooking, huh huh.
    • Shut up, Butt-Head! That sucked because my weiner kept itching and was, like, the wrong color or something. The only cool part of it was that we got Burger World closed for a few weeks and we didn't have to go to work, heh heh.
• Likes Older Women: Older chicks are pretty cool. They're like, more sex-perienced or something, huh huh huh huh. Like Stewart's mom, I'd totally do her. And Cher, huh huh huh huh. I totally scored with her.
  • I almost scored with that space chick, but then this guy who looked like me but with a head where his hair should be took her away. But, y'know, it's 'cause he is me from some other world, and he did score with her while his Butt-Head only got to watch, so uh, heh heh, it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, there's a Beavis who scored.
  • (SMACK) Shutup, asswipe! You won't score before I will! Uh, maybe that you, but not this you! Huh huh.
• LOL, 69: Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh. 69. Huh huh huh huh huh huh.
  • Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!
• Made of Iron: Me and Butt-Head got thrown around in a tornado, got struck by lightning because we tried to do what that Ben Franklin dude did with that kite, and we got turned into werewolves but were, like, all sick and stuff. We're tough, heh heh heh. Although I'm tougher than Butt-Head.
  • No you're not, dumbass, huh huh huh.
• Manly Facial Hair: Uh, we like, once tried to get beards cause chicks didn't realize how manly we were, huh huh huh huh. But uh, since we couldn't, like, grow them, we made our own beards by cutting off our hair and gluing it on our faces, huh huh huh huh huh. It worked too, 'cause some chicks said they'd do us in ten years if we removed the beards. We should be scoring any day now...
• Meaningful Name: Like I already said, Butt-Head really is my name, huh huh. What makes it cool is that I'm named after something I think is really cool, which are butts, and the thing I'd be getting from chicks if Beavis didn't always ruin it for me, which is head.
  • Heh heh, you said "head", heh heh heh...
• Men Don't Cry: Because then they'd be wussies, huh huh huh huh. Like Beavis. He was crying that one time.
  • Damn it, Butt-Head, I was NOT crying!
• Metal Head: Heh heh, Metallica rules!
• Metal Scream: Heh heh, I can do that. Check it out. Ahem...BUTT-HEAD SUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKSSSS! (Butt-Head smacks him) OW!
  • Shut up, Beavis!
• Minor Living Alone: We, like, have our own house and stuff, huh huh huh. Because we're like, real smart and don't need to live with our parents like most people our age or something. And because Beavis' mom is a slut, huh huh huh.
  • Shut up, Butt-Head!
• Mistaken for Profound: Me and Beavis went to this coffee place, once, where, like, all of these people thought Beavis was good with poetry, because he drank a lot of cappuccino and started yelling about his "bunghole". That was cool.
  • Um, heh heh. Oh yeah, sorry about that.
• Mister Seahorse: Um, this one time, I thought I was pregnant, heh heh. But it turns out I just had to poop real bad, heh heh heh.
• Mouse Trap: Uhhh, we had one of these things once, which we tried to use after a rat ate our nachos. We tried to set it, but Beavis kept screwing up and caused it to snap on his fingers, huh huh huh. And his feet. And his nose. And his ear. And his butt, huh huh. And his...
• Mushroom Samba: This one time, me and Butt-Head were stuck in the desert, and I ate this cactus thing. Then there were all these weird colors and shapes, heh heh. And it sounded just like White Zombie!
• My Life Flashed Before My Eyes: Uh, this, like, happened to me one time when I was dying to death in the desert and stuff, huh huh huh. I like, saw me and Beavis watching TV and I realized that my life was cool. Uh huh huh huh huh.
  • Heh heh, yeah, yeah! Me too! Only I was, like, a sperm! And I scored, heh heh heh heh!
• Nerds Are Virgins: Huh huh huh huh. Yeah, that's Stewart. He's, like, really into video games and that Dungeons & Dragons crap that all those nerds like. And he's a real wuss, huh huh huh huh. He's never gonna score!
• Never My Fault: Uh, I've actually come really close to scoring a bunch of times, huh huh huh. But then this dillweed always goes and screws things up and scares the chicks away. Which sucks, huh huh huh.
  • Yeah, yeah, sorry about that.
• Nightmare Fetishist: Dead things are cool, uh huh huh. We also looked pretty cool that one time, when we tried to become werewolves. Even though we didn't score. That sucked.
• Not Allowed to Grow Up: So uh, we were teenagers in the 90s, and then we were sucked into this big butthole, and we're, like, still teenagers now. Uh huh huh huh. We're immoral. Huh huh huh.
  • That's pretty weird, but also kinda cool, heh heh. Hey, Butt-Head. What about when we were still teenagers back in, like, 2009 or something?
  • Dammit, Beavis! Stop trying to, like, outsmart me, and let me do all the talking. Uh huh huh.
  • Ohh yeah, heh heh, right. But wait, isn't there that other world where we did grow old and you became fat and (Butt-Head smacks him) AHHHHH!
  • Dammit, Beavis, I told you to shut the hell up already!
• Oblivious to Hatred: Huh huh, Todd's cool. Even when he kicks our asses.
  • Heh heh, I think he likes us.
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: Hey Beavis, it's okay to cry. Crying takes the sad out of you, uh huh huh huh huh.
  • Damn it, Butt-Head, I was NOT crying!
• Onion Tears: Listen, one time, I just got, like, an onion in my chili dog, and it made my eyes hurt, heh heh. Butt-Head kept telling me I was crying, but I wasn't!
  • You were crying, huh huh.
  • I was NOT crying! I'm serious...
• Our Werewolves Are Different: One time, after seeing that Twilight movie, me and Butt-Head tried to become werewolves, so we'd get tons of chicks. But this homeless dude just bit us and we got really sick and covered in these sores and stuff, heh heh. And we still didn't score!
• Pyromaniac: Yeah, yeah, FIRE! FIRE! Yeah...heh heh. I burned down a comedy club once, but they don't show that one, anymore.
  • Oh, and we've learned that, uh, two soldiers working under that magic clown copied us. But that's cool. Heh heh heh.
  • Umm, on that cartoon where those robots turn into cars, there are a couple of dudes named Runabout and Runamuck. Normally, only wusses like Stewart like that stuff, but Runabout and Runamuck are actually cool because they're a lot like us, heh heh. They love to smash and wreck stuff, and even start fires, FIRES, FIRES!! They even laugh like us, heh heh.
• Raging Stiffie: Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh!
  • Heh-heh-heh heh heh heh! Boioioioioioing!
• Recognition Failure: Anderson's so old and senile that he never recognizes us, huh huh. He'll complain to the cops about "Butt-Hole and Joe" and tell us about "Buford and Bernardo", but he never realizes we're the same guys who keep screwing him over, huh huh!
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: Uh, I'm like, really calm and rash-anal and stuff, huh huh huh huh. But Beavis here, he's a real dumbass, huh huh huh. Sometimes I gotta smack him around to make him settle down or something. He'd like, die in a ditch if it weren't for me, huh huh huh.
• Refuge in Audacity: Um, what? Heh heh heh.
• Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times: Uh, Star Wars is pretty cool, huh huh. But, uh, we didn't see it that much. Beavis did watch Backdraft 27 times when it came out though.
  • Heh heh, yeah! Fire, FIRE! Heh-heh-heh-heh heh heh! Whoa! I gotta go watch Backdraft again.
• Screams Like a Little Girl: Huh huh huh. Beavis screams like a chick. Uh huh huh huh.
  • Shut up, Butt-Head! At least I can scream. Heh heh. *smack* AAAAAAAAAAHHH!
  • Huh huh huh. You're a wuss, Beavis. Uh huh huh huh.
• Sdrawkcab Speech: Heh heh, I'm actually pretty good at this. Check it out: Drah eeduts dna jelloc oot ohg doosh law ooy. ^note You all should go to college and study hard.
  • That's pretty cool, Beavis.
  • Yeah. Heh. Check this one out: Efil ruoy niur lliw seport vt. ^note TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life Heh heh.
• Shout-Out: So there's like, uh, this Japanese cartoon about this dork who plays card games huh-huh, and, like, this dork who like, uh...made two of the characters sound just like us huh huh.
  • Yeah, yeah, that was cool! Heh heh. Those chicks are all sluts! Boi-oi-oing! Heh heh heh.
• Shown Their Work: Um, one time, me and Butt-Head were at this monster truck show, and they like ran over stuff like cars and our teacher, heh heh heh, that was cool. Then when they got to the porta-potties, this big fart came out, and Butt-Head said it was Sterculius, the Roman god of feces. Heh heh, yeah, we didn't make him up. He was like pissed off that they ran over the porta-potties, so he took a dump on all of us. Um, hey Butt-Head, heh heh. How did we survive that?
  • Because we're so cool. At least I am. Huh huh.
• Signature Laugh: Uh huh huh huh huh...
  • Heh heh heh heh heh heh...
• The Slacker: Yeah, well, if you're one of those dudes that are into doing homework and stuff, you're a dork, uh huh huh.
• The Sociopath: Uhhh, I still, like, don't know what that word means, but I'm apparently one of those according to the school psychiatrist, huh huh. But, uhhh, I don't care about her or what she thinks, uh huh huh huh. I don't care about anyone.
• Son of a Whore: Beavis's mom is a slut, huh huh.
  • Shut up, fartknocker.
• Stacy's Mom: More like Stewart's mom, huh huh. Like she's what people lately call a MILF and I dunno what it means but I'd do her. Huh huh. Also, I, like, had a cool dream about Beavis' mom where she was all naked in the bath and she let me check out her thingies.
  • Shut up, Butt-Head! Heh heh.
• The Stoic: Uh, it's like I'm...dammit I already told you, I'm like, really calm and rash-anal and stuff, huh huh huh, and I like, uh...don't stop being that way. Even when something pisses me off. Like what you're doing right now. So cut it out, buttmunch, before I kick your ass.
• This Is Gonna Suck: We, like, know when stuff is gonna suck ahead of time, huh huh huh huh. And then they, like, do.
• This Loser Is You: Uh, like, you're a loser and you suck. Huh huh huh. But if you, like, act like us, then you'll suck a little less maybe.
• Toilet Humor: Heh heh heh, I really like it when people say "poop". (higher pitch) "Poop." Heh heh heh heh.
• Toxic Friend Influence:
  • I'm cooler than Beavis, so he, like, needs me around so he won't be a dumbass, uh huh huh. This one time, this old dude named Charlie showed me what it'd be like if I wasn't born and stuff. Beavis was even more of a dork, because I wasn't there to keep him from being a dumbass.
  • We're both also, like, really bad influences on Stewart, heh heh. Hey Butt-head, remember when we got him in trouble for making him show us porn on the school computer?
    • Yeah, that was cool, uh huh huh. Then there was that time we framed him for couch fishing. Uh huh huh huh huh, heh heh heh heh heh heh....
• Trademark Favorite Food: Mexican food rules, heh heh! Nachos are our favorites, but we also like burritos and tacos, huh huh. One cool things about school is that they have kick-ass tacos. We also like sloppy joes, too. They might be Cuban instead of Mexican, but it's, like, close enough, heheh.
• Ultimate Job Security: Huh huh, that manager dude we're always working for at Burger World is always getting pissed off at us, but he, like, never fires us. Because we're like, too cool or something.
  • Heh heh heh, yeah. And then there's Anderson. We're always breaking and stealing his stuff, heh heh heh heh, and I like to, heh heh heh heh, go to his tool shed and, heh-heh heh heh heh, spank my monkey. Heh heh heh. Which pisses him off. But he, like, always still hires us for stuff, heh heh heh. Because he's old and thinks we're other kids.
• Unusual Euphemism: Heh, heh, sometimes, I call my nads, "bonbons". I guess I'm by myself when that happens. [Beat] When is that tropes thing gonna start? [Beat] Oh, you mean you got the part about the "bonbons"? Huh. Shoulda warned me about that.
  • Beavis, you dumbass! It's on TV Tropes. Everybody's gonna know, huh huh. "Bonbons!"
• Vitriolic Best Buds: I'm way cooler than Beavis, uh huh huh. But, like, I let him hang out with me because he's one of the only other people I know who actually does something cool once in a while. Sometimes I still have to kick his ass to teach him a lesson whenever he's a dumbass, huh huh.
  • Yeah, heh heh, like, Butt-head and I kick each other's asses a lot and stuff, and we're always insulting each other. But, like, we're the only cool people in Highland besides Todd, so we're pretty much stuck hanging out together, heh heh.
• With Friends Like These...: I let Beavis hang around, because he makes me look cooler and stuff. But his buttmunch ass makes it hard to score, huh huh.
• Your Mom: Uh huh huh. Hey Beavis. Your mom's a slut. Uh huh huh huh.
  • Heh heh, oh yeah. Um, wait. Isn't your mom a slut too?
    • WHACK! Shut up, fartknocker!

---

"YOU WILL GIVE ME TP!"

What the hell is this crap? All they did was make us talk and stuff! Heh heh.

Yeah, huh huh huh. Talking sucks. Uh huh huh huh.

Whoa! Heh heh. Check it out, Butt-Head.

Beavis notices a conveniently placed stash of soda near the couch. He shotguns several cans in rapid succession. Mere seconds later, he begins to twitch, writhe, and mutter incoherently.

Uh, Beavis? Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis continues twitching.

What the hell's your problem, asswipe? Huh huh.

Beavis stands up, pulls his shirt collar over his hair, and raises his arms.

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! Heh heh. YOU HAVE AWAKENED MY BUNGHOLE, AND NOW YOU MUST PAY! Aaaaaah. Heh heh. MY BUNGHOLE WILL SPEAK, NOW! Heh heh. YOU WISH TO LEARN OF THE BUNGHOLE? YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! Try as you may. Heh heh.

---

YOU WILL GIVE ME ALL YOUR TROPES! AND TP!

• Artistic License – Geography: I COME FROM LAKE TITICACA, IN NICARAGUA!
  • It's actually in Peru, dumbass. Uh, huh huh huh.
• Berserk Button: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!
• Black Speech: AaaaaaYYYYEEEEEAAAyyyyyaH OHLaAHHlAaAH!
• Body Horror: I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE!
• Body Motifs: THERE IS NO BODY! THERE IS ONLY THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!
• The Dreaded: DO NOT MAKE MY BUNGHOLE ANGRY! YOU DO NOT WANT TO FACE THE WRATH OF MY BUNGHOLE!
• Fighting from the Inside: Why does everybody wanna see my schlong? Heh.
• Gratuitous Spanish: Español? ES BUNGHOLE! HABLA BA HABLA! I COME FROM NICARAGUA! FROM LAKE TITICACA! WHERE WE HAVE NO BUNGHOLES! AGUA FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!
• Hope Bringer: YOU WILL GIVE ALL YOUR TP TO ME! YOU WILL RESPECT MY BUNGHOLE! MANY WILL FIGHT FOR ME IF YOU DO NOT! FOR NO MAN SHOULD BE WITHOUT TP AND I WILL BRING IT TO THEM!
• "I Am" Song: BUNGHOLIOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE NO BUNGHOOOOOOOOLE! I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIOOOOOOOOOOO!
• Is That a Threat?: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?! YOU MAY TAKE ME, BUT YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY BUNGHOLE!
• Large Ham: I DO NOT NEED THIS "HAM". I NEED TP!
• Made of Iron: YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT MY BUNGHOLE! MANY HAVE TRIED!
• Mind Screw: I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE! WE SHARE BUT ONE BUNGHOLE! YOU ARE A BUNGHOLE! And so am I! Heh. There will be more bungholes after me! FOR I HAVE CORNHOLIO IN MY BUNGHOLE! Heh-heh, that was pretty cool.
• Must Have Caffeine: I WANT ALL YOUR SODA! Heh. AND CRAPPUCINO!
  • Do it, brother Beavis! Huh huh huh.
• Mooning: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY BUNGHOLE?!
  • Uhh! Dammit, Beavis! No one wants to see your butthole! Uh huh huh huh.
• Nightmare Fetishist: YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NONBELIEVERS! Whoa, heh heh. That'd be cool.
• No Indoor Voice: YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!
• Oxymoronic Being: I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! FOR I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE! IN THE LAND I COME FROM, WE HAVE NO BUNGHOLES! I AM A BUNGHOLE, AND SO ARE YOU! SOON, WE WILL ALL BE BUNGHOLES!
• Paranoia Fuel: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! RUN AS YOU MAY!
• Split Personality: Heh heh. What happened? Heh. Cool, soda! Heh heh. Mine! Heh heheh{Beavis finds and drinks another soda, which kicks him back into gear.} RAAAH! I AM CORNHOLIO! Heh. MY BUNGHOLE HAS RETURNED! Um, okay, heh heh. KanDOfRAhaHAhaHAHblahBLAH!
• Sugar Causes Hyperactivity: YOU WILL SURRENDER ALL YOUR SODA AND YOUR CANDY TO MY BUNGHOLE!
• Sweet Tooth: Do you have any candy? Heh heh. I NEED ROLIOS FOR MY BUNGHOLE!
• Talkative Loon: MY BUNGHOLE, IT GOES RAP-PAH-PAH-PAH! AND ONE FOR YOU! PRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAFFFF!
• Toilet Humor: Do you have any Oleo? I NEED OLEO FOR MY BUNGHOLE!
• Toilet Paper Trail: I MUST HAVE TP! Heh heh. THE TP WILL FOLLOW ME!

---

Cornholio leaves the living room babbling gibberish and goes outside, into the middle of the road.

I AM-AAAAAAAOOOOW!

Beavis gets hit by a car just as he walks across the road

OOOOOOW! OW! OW! YOU WILL NOT DISREPECT MY BUNGHOLE!

Whoa! Uh huh huh. That was cool.

Butt-Head continues to laugh at a moaning (and laughing too) Beavis' misfortune as epic rock music plays. End segment.

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