"Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows"
—Leonard Cohen, "Everybody Knows"
"If all the sorority girls in the country were laid end to end... I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
"Esteemed scientist and voice of reason Jenny McCarthy once said that when she first hung out with Donnie Wahlberg she thought he was gay because he didn’t try to bone her right away...he wanted to get up to date on his shots, obviously."
"We coddle the wealthy today, but back in the '60s and '70s, we forced each of them to marry Zsa Zsa Gabor for a year or two. She's been with so many millionaires that her gynecologist bought a boat with all the watches he found in her birth canal. Of course back then it was called a vaginopithecus africanus...Zsa Zsa Gabor's genitals deserve some kind of lifetime achievement award.""
David: The subplot during all of this is Lois being angry at being cut out of the action, since she wants to help, so she ends up flying to Miami to get bitched at by Mera for basically being a starf—er.
Chris: Yes. I wasn’t aware of this going in, but apparently Smallville Lois is the Justice League’s doorknob: everyone gets a turn.
"Oh that's rich, coming from Miss Yo-Yo Knickers"
—Lister, Red Dwarf, "Parallel Universe"
"How perfectly vile. If that's the sort of company you kept before meeting me, it's no wonder you ended up with Picard."
—Q to Vash, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Q-Less")
Roz: Dozens of men? Did you tell her that?
Frasier: Well forgive me for keeping track!
Leliana: You are utterly impossible.
Zevran: On the contrary, I am often told how very easy I am, my dear.
"IS THERE ANYONE IN ROME WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER!?"
"...Samantha has just returned from scattering the remains of an elderly Naval gentleman friend. She says she took his ashes aboard HMS Belfast, and as his former crew stood proudly to attention, Samantha solemnly tossed them over the side."
— Humphrey Lyttleton, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
"She blushes a lot, but she'll never say no; when her motor is running, this girl don't sit still! The girl gets around!"
— Footloose, "The Girl Gets Around"
"For shit's sake Mother, how short is the list of guys you HAVEN'T screwed?"
— Sterling Archer, Archer
Judge: Other boyfriend?!? You have several?!?
Angel Starr: Yes 'this boyfriend' 'that boyfriend' and 'the other boyfriend' care to join? The 'yet another boyfriend' position is still open.
Judge: ...I-I'll stick to overseeing cases thank you very much.
Ema Skye: Note to self: the judge had to think before replying.
— Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, "Rise From the Ashes"
"Francine, I'm looking at you now, I'm listening to you speak, but all I can see is you taking more poundings than Omaha Beach before the ground assault began."
—Stan Smith, American Dad!
Chief Running Water: Kid, I hate to break this to you, but your mother is what we Native Americans refer to as, "Bear With Wiiiiiiide Canyon."
Cartman: What do you mean?
Chief Running Water: She is, "Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together."
Chief Running Water: Your mom's a slut.
— South Park, "Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut"
"Excuse me! Just because he's going out with me doesn't mean he's going to get laid...all right, he probably will."
—Holly, The Wedding Singer
"I think it just goes to show that being easy is pretty much all upside."
— Dean Winchester, Supernatural
Sabine: Nale, sugar, I'm literally an evil incarnation of illicit sex, do I seem like I would get hung up on who you sleep with? Heck, I had sex four times while I was away.
Nale: You—you were gone for three hours!
Sabine: Yeah, well, I had errands to run too.
"It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf, half-dragon, tiefling and aasimar have the same dad."
"I'm never unfaithful. You take that back right now. I'm the most faithful lady in the whole court. I'm faithful to at least a dozen young men all at the same time."
— Empress Elysoun, The Tamuli
i really dont know why cuchulainn made that last promise
because he is physically incapable
of keeping it in his pants
it is like his penis is some kind of unruly seamonster
Metis: ...What's so rare about a blue blob that gets it on with every other 'mon out there?
Ditto: ...One, most Ditto are purple. The chances of one being blue are about one in eight thousand something. Two, just because we can potentially breed with any fertile Pokémon doesn't mean we all do.
Metis: Ah. Numbers game and all that... And okay. Not all of them do. Do you?
(Ditto looks annoyed.)
Metis: What? It's a legitimate question.
Metis: Yes or no, come on, not a hard question.
Ditto: ...I have standards.
Metis: Oh, fine, be a party-pooper.
Chandler: Joe, you've had a lot of sex, right?
"Monogamy is for the weak!"
— Marena, Keychain of Creation
Cindy Crawford: It's not what I've done, it's who I've done.
Howard Stern: O.K., so we've went through Val Kilmer. So you've only done like about 10 guys in your whole life. Right?
Cindy Crawford: Right.
Howard Stern: That's not a whole lot.
Cindy Crawford: No
—- Cindy Crawford being interviewed on The Howard Stern Radio Show