"Okay, you guys, it's dangerous, so we need to be prepared. So I brought a golf club!"
When you think of sports equipment-as-Improvised Weapon
, you probably think of a baseball bat
. But thugs who want to be a bit different, perhaps show a bit more class, reach instead for their 9-iron. Where the former is essentially a big stick
, your golf club is more like a hammer
, with all the weight concentrated on the point of impact.
The Weapon of Choice
of the Corrupt Corporate Executive
, because they're likely to have one lying around anyway
. They might even have several, in which case you can expect them to consult their Number Two
on the best club for the shot. Alternately, the Number Two might make a recommendation of their own volition part way through the assault
Bonus points if the wielder says "FORE!" when attacking.
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. Has nothing to do with Not My Driver
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Anime and Manga
Film - Live Action
Live Action TV
- In the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode "Lead" a child molester is beaten to death with a golf club.
- In Burn Notice, a guy takes a baseball bat to the man who tried to rape his sister. Fiona tells him he should have used a golf club instead, he'd get more velocity concentrated on a smaller impact area.
- In Higher Ground, Daisy is sent to Horizon after hitting her father in the head with a seven iron.
- The Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode The Screaming Skull has an intermission segment where Crow disguises himself as a skull and scares Mike. Mike completely freaks out and hits Crow with a variety of weapons, with his golf club being the last one. What makes the scene particularly amusing is that Mike brings his entire golf bag and spends a few minutes carefully considering which club would make the best weapon—screaming in a panic the entire time. And Tom Servo, who's trying in vain to stop Mike from further hurting Crow, gets distracted admiring Mike's nice driver.
- Major Crimes: The Body of the Week in "All In" is found at the bottom of a water hazard on a golf course, his head having been beaten in with with one of his golf clubs.
- The Glades: The Victim of the Week in "Breaking 80" was done in by a blow to the head with a nine iron.
- Silent Hill 4: Henry can pick up a couple of golf clubs as weapons, they're rather fragile and not practical to haul around given his limited inventory slots.
- Dead Rising: one of the survivors you can rescue in the second game is a pro golfer who's using her favorite club to keep zombies at bay. She's very nonchalant about the situation, saying that this is good practice for her swing and she hopes her favorite club won't fall apart. While you can use a club in the game, all you can do is drive golf balls into zombies' faces until you run out. It apparently never occurs to your character to use it as a melee weapon.
- In Persona 4, the main character's traditional weaponry is two-handed swords... or, alternatively, golf clubs.
- What the page quote deliberately leaves out is that Yosuke had to put together fighting gear from just the stuff in his possession - unlike the party of Persona 3, there weren't any multimillionaires in the group to supply them with weapons. They still get arrested.
- Halo 3 got a 7-wood golf club with the Mythic Map Pack, which is a reskin of the Gravity Hammer. It goes along with the golf ball and golf hole Forge items. It returns in Halo: Reach, and can be used in Firefight.
- In BioShock 1, a main character is killed with his own golf club... at his own request, by the brainwashed player character.
- BioShock 2: While not actually a usable weapon, while in the "Journey to the Surface" ride in Ryan Amusements, you come across a animatronic Andrew Ryan. Behind him is one of his golf clubs. If you use Telekinesis, you can use it as a weapon by throwing it at something. If you throw it at the Andrew Ryan animatronic, you get an achievement: 9-Irony.
In the multiplayer, a golf club is the signature melee weapon of the Businessman, Buck Raleigh. Also, the "Kill 'em Kindly" mode gives everyone a golf club and limits them to melee only, regardless of their chosen character.
- Fallout: New Vegas has a 9-iron weapon, and it has a special move in VATS called "Fore!", where you hit the enemy in the groin. This is also the Weapon of Choice of Driver Nephi, one of the Fiend leaders, who carries a unique driver.
- Super Smash Bros. series: One of Peach's randomly-selected weapons for her forward smash attack.
- Grand Theft Auto series
- Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: In "Four Iron", Tommy Vercetti is asked to 'persuade' a businessman to do a deal. During the mission he lacks his usual weapons. note So he has to get persuasive with a golf club. The club can be used as a melee weapon during the rest of the game.
- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas: Golf clubs can be used as a melee weapon. If CJ knocks someone down, he will then uses a golf swing.
- The Hitman series
- In Ragnarok Online, the Priest class can be armed with Iron Drivers.
- In MadWorld, Jack can use a golf club as a weapon, including in the Man Golf minigame.
- In Wandering Hamster, getting a perfect score in mini-golf course earns Bob a golf club to use as a weapon.
- There is a game called Itchy and Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness. Three guesses whether it features this trope.
- Left 4 Dead 2 provides the page image. The Golf Club is exclusive to a single official campaign and custom campaigns, however.
- In Team Fortress 2, there's a golf club available as one of the Demoman's many melee weapons. It's a re-skin of theEyelander, meaning you can in fact decapitate opponents with a golf club.
- This is the signature weapon of Seto in Fragile Dreams, although there are better alternatives available. It even shows up on the cover art.
- In Unturned, golf clubs are fairly common and make a decent weapon with good damage and reach.
- ReBoot: during a dream episode Bob has Glitch turn into a golf club which he used on Hack and Slash. He made a hole in one.
- In King of the Hill, Hank is not afraid to use golf clubs to defend himself. He keeps a bag full of them by the front door. In The Buck Stops Here, Hank pulls his club against the bouncer who's after Bobby's given wristwatch which Buck waged on.
- In the Gravity Falls episode "The Golf War", Mabel and Pacifica use putters as rather effective weapons when the Lilliputtians turn against the both of them.
- Golf Clubs are ideal improvised weapons for dealing with poisonous snakes. Since they're designed to hit things at ground level anyway, they're much easier to reach a snake's head with than a bat would be, and long enough to keep the user out of the snake's reach, unlike most sticks. Even better, the club end can be used as a hook to pick up and move the snake (use a second club to pin it securely) more easily than most tools if the situation is controlled enough that the snake can be moved without killing it.