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Todd Quinlan
Todd "The Todd" Quinlan
Played By: Robert Maschio
"I'd like to double her entendre!"
The Todd is a plastic surgeon at Sacred Heart. He loves hitting on women for sex and hands for high-fives as well as showing off his physique. He's also a good friend of Turk.
- Abusive Parent: After a session with Molly, she stated his behavior stemmed from an abusive mother. His father doesn't seem much better, and in one flashback seemed to actively encourage Todd to objectify passing women.
- Ambiguously Gay: In earlier episodes, cumulating in his subplot in "My Lunch". Elliot and Carla find out that he hasn't slept with nearly as many women and he claims to, and view him as a sad, confused gay "baby" who needs their help to come out. Turk starts to buy into this when he sees Todd reading fitness magazines featuring muscular men. In an uncommon (for that time anyway) twist, it's revealed that he IS attracted to men... And also women. The plot ends with him harassing them all.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Several episodes depict him swapping between his normal personality and a very serious, confident doctor (e.g. My Hero). That episode compared Turk and The Todd in their skills, showing The Todd is much more single-minded on the task while Turk is easily distracted by everything else he has to do). Because of that single-mindedness, while The Todd may appear to be an idiot, when he's in surgery, he is one of the best by far because he is so focused on the task at hand. He's also not bad at math.
- Catchphrase: "(Insert word here) Five".
- Casanova Wannabe: He literally hits on anything. Even if most of this is purely playful, his success rate doesn't look too well. "My Lunch" outright reveals that a lot of his claimed conquests are outright lies.
- Character Development: He gradually goes from a performative Jerk Jock who hits exclusively on women (to their disgust) and who seems to hide any attraction to men he has; to a Lovable Sex Maniac who's loud and proud about his attractions, and by the end of the series has largely dropped his sexual harassment tendencies in favor of consensual sexual exploration with the Henderson's and Jimmy. He also gets nicer and more genuine over time.
- Chivalrous Pervert: He may have an assigned seat in the HR department, but on multiple occasions demonstrates at least a vague understanding of boundaries and that he respects everyone as people. People he would like to be intimate with.
- Does Not Know His Own Strength: His high-fives tend to sting. Exemplified by the whip-crack sound effect that accompanies them.
- Double Entendre: Half of his M.O.
- Everyone Has Standards: Outside of his field and maybe some knowledge on sports and work-outs, he's the dumbest character on the show. But even he calls out Turk for not knowing his own wife's country of heritage.Turk: "But it's not just me who gets mixed up/By all this crazy ethnic stuff"Todd: "Sorry, even I know/She's Dominican. BOOYAH!"
- It cannot be stressed enough that his workplace behavior toward female (and later, male) coworkers he's attracted to is not okay, but he never forces himself physically on anybody or lies to get laid, like his counterparts in some other shows would.
- Extreme Omnisexual: "The Todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender, age or disability."Janitor: What are you?Todd: I'm the Todd!
- Fanservice: His love of banana hammocks. Fanservice to some, but disservice to others.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Can go back and forth. Todd seems to get along well enough with members of the Hospital (mainly Turk) to at least establish a decent working relationship (plus, he was invited to Turk and Carla's wedding and is a part of the Janitor's Brain Trust). But he also gets on their nerves a good amount of the time with his reliance on sexual innuendos, fetish talk, displaying of banana hammocks, and (at least to J.D.) forceful high-fives. When J.D. tries to convince his friends that they should go to the Bahamas to celebrate the Janitor's wedding, Todd overhears and J.D. tries to steer him away from following through on it. Even in the Brain Trust, Janitor and Ted are sometimes a bit perturbed by his habits.
- Freudian Excuse: Referenced on quite a few occasions.
- Molly working with him says that he's behavior stems from a poor childhood where he apparently "made out with his mother" once (among other things)
- His father wasn't much better, if a childhood flashback of him and his dad in the park (where his dad tried to get him to listen to him commenting inappropriately about women who passed by) is accurate.
- This flashback was preceded by Dr Cox lampshading this trope.
- Genius Ditz: He is horribly un-PC with constant sex-jokes, unable to remember 5 seconds later that you can hear people through the door and at one point couldn't spell his own name. Yet he's managed to graduate from med school and at one point was a better surgeon than Turk.
- Gym Bunny: A bisexual man who spends an inordinate amount of time at the gym, and is obsessed with both his own and other men's muscles.
- Hidden Depths:
- A childhood flashback shows he's a fan of musicals.
- He's a surprisingly nice guy on closer inspection (He's very rarely mean or malicious to anyone) and an excellent surgeon.
- And a good enough friend to Turk to be one of his groomsmen. Later, he's good and ready to punch out Carla's brother when the latter won't stop making nasty comments about Turk, and in another conversation, Turk sincerely tells him, "You always know the right thing to say."
- He actually seems a little ashamed when he needs Turk to spellcheck his Thank You card to Kevin Casey, and discovers he misspelled his own name.
- He's surprisingly perceptive. He has noticed JD's daydreaming habit and is annoyed by it and knows Turk well enough to know how to get him to back off from a situation that could damage his career. He also admits he finds the pressure to always come up with comments exhausting and implies his persona is largely done for show.
- Jerk Jock: It's mentioned frequently that Internal Medicine are the geeks and Surgeons are the jocks of the hospital, of which Todd proudly wears as a badge of honor.
- Karma Houdini: He can apparently sexually harass all the women (and men) he wants, and never face any significant repercussions.
- Large Ham: He always makes a huge deal out of his double entendres and high fives. Heck, one intern that wanted to give a high five to somebody got flak from Todd for stealing his gimmick.Howie: But I totally just nailed that diagnosis.
The Todd: The fact that I'm not making a joke about who or what I just nailed tonight should tell you how serous I am about this. - Lovable Sex Maniac: He's not completely horrible, but he is a sexist pig who hits on both men and women.
- Mr. Fanservice: Todd loves his banana hammocks and showing off his body in general.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: He's incredibly sexist and has more sexual harassment complaints put against him then the rest of the hospital combined. He's also saved multiple lives as a surgeon.
- Polyamory: Enters into a throuple relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Henderson in Season 8.
- Serious Business: Somebody else initiating high-fives. He even ignored a sex joke because he was so worked up about it.
- Shirtless Scene: Kinda hard to show off the "banana hammock" without it.
- Sleeves Are for Wimps: The sleeves of his scrubs are ripped off to show off his guns and the "DOC" tattoo on his right arm.
- Small Name, Big Ego: His arrogance sometimes surpasses Cox's.
- Spell My Name with a "The":Janitor: What the hell are you?
Todd: I'm The Todd! - Third-Person Person: He's The Todd and often refers to himself as such.
- Ultimate Job Security: He somehow manages to retain his job despite sexually harassing coworkers and making lewd comments in nearly every appearance.
- The Unfettered: His response to a nurse firmly telling him she doesn't appreciate his sexual innuendo? "In your end-o!"
Ted Buckland
Theodore "Ted" Buckland
Played By: Sam Lloyd
Dr. Maddox: [looking into Ted's briefcase] Hey... How come all you have in there is a smiley face button and a revolver?
Ted: Well one's in case I get sad, and the other is in case I get really sad.
Ted: Well one's in case I get sad, and the other is in case I get really sad.
Resident lawyer of Sacred Heart. A lot of bad luck befalls him and he's pretty awful at his job, enabling him to bellow his trademark "Awwwww...!" He's also the leader of an A Capella band.
- A Cappella: Ted is a member of an a cappella group called the The Worthless Peons who are played by Sam Lloyd's real a cappella group The Blanks.
- Basement-Dweller: He is a pathetically inept sad-sack attorney who not only lives with his mother, but shares a bed with her.
- Black Comedy: His suicidal tendencies or his desire to kill Kelso are all Played for Laughs.
- Boss's Unfavorite Employee: He is Kelso's personal punching bag, who often mistreats him For the Evulz.
- Butt-Monkey: Kelso basically bullies him. It's Played for Laughs, though.
- Can't Get in Trouble for Nuthin': Late in Season 1, he's actively trying to get fired by openly insulting Kelso.
- Catchphrase: As mentioned above, "Awww..." might as well belong to Ted with a copyright attached to it.
- The Chew Toy: He's Kelso's punching bag and outside of the Worthless Peons, he's got nothing good in his life.
- Clothes Make the Legend: His suits are almost always cheap and horrible looking.
- Depending on the Writer: He's never a good lawyer in court, but in some episodes he's handy with basic Law knowledge when the other characters need it (especially when he can stick it to Dr. Kelso). In other episodes, he hardly seems to know what a lawyer does.
- Driven to Suicide: One episode has him standing on a ledge of the hospital and pledging that someday he'll have the courage to jump. He finally jumps at the end of the episode only to have his fall broken by a pile of trash that the Janitor was hiding from Kelso.
- The Dog Bites Back: In "Their Story", Ted gets some minor but still satisfying revenge on Kelso by anonymously providing the nurses with information that they can use to blackmail Kelso into giving them a raise.
- The Eeyore: 98% of the time, he has a miserable expression on his face and it's to the point that it hurts him to laugh or smile in Season 8.
- Extreme Doormat: This is how he became Dr. Kelso's personal assistant. The janitor also takes advantage of this from time to time ("I'm a follower"), though one episode has him teach Ted to to stand up for himself, which caused him to turn against the Janitor and start a rival group to the Brain Trust, though this change is short-lived.
- Flanderization: He goes from a depressed lawyer constantly worried about lawsuits who's awful under pressure but nonetheless has knowledge of the law and can craftily help Turk with having his image co-opted or Elliot get a women's changing room; to a complete idiot who doesn't know what a stint is despite having worked in a hospital for years.
- Forgot Flanders Could Do That: In early seasons, he'd craftily use law knowledge to help the protagonists against Kelso. By Season 7, he became a complete buffoon who didn't recognize his own name; yet in "Their Story" he once again pulls an early-series Ted tactic to help the nurses by blackmailing Kelso.
- Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Some episodes show him having an impressive head of hair when he started working at the hospital. On another occasion, he says he went bald at fourteen. Another episode implies he had hair when he got married.
- Hidden Depths: Is a very talented musician and singer; and an avid cyclist and environmentalist.
- Hopeless Suitor: He had an unrequited crush on Carla early in the show, even asking her "how serious" things were with Turk when they were days away from marriage. Although she did have a sex dream about him once, so there may be some attraction back.
- In-Series Nickname: His mom calls him Thunder.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: "Whoo-hoo! I have friends!"
- Jerkass Ball: Normally he's awkward with women but respects their boundaries; but in "My New Suit" he harassed an intern by asking her out 12 times and not taking no for an answer, then abusing his power to make her work on a project with him.
- Likes Older Women: When turned on by something Elliot does, he remarks "If you were just forty years older..." and frequently checks out old ladies. Averted with his eventual girlfriend, who's played by an actress about a decade younger than his.
- Momma's Boy: His relationship with his mother, occasionally taking it to disturbing levels. They used to sleep together in the same bed.
- Morality Pet: Their fondness for Ted and desire to see him happy is enough to unite J.D. and the Janitor in a truce.
- Nervous Wreck: Whenever he's not depressed, he's probably anxious; either about potential lawsuits, or his own self-consciousness.
- Nice Guy: May be the most fundamentally kindhearted character on the show, taking his mental health issues into account; at various points, he powers through his anxiety to help others: He helps the nurses get a raise, gently lets Elliot know that her callousness about their breakup is hurting Keith, and he's a dedicated environmentalist who despite his depression takes active steps to help the planet.
- Oblivious to Love: Ted is so oblivious to Gooch's subtle (and not so subtle) hints she's attracted to him that she assumes he isn't interested and is just too nice to say. Though Ted musters up the courage to tell her it's because he thinks she so great he couldn't have imagined her actually feeling the same.
- Odd Friendship: The depressed, dorky lawyer is often paired with Keith, the Todd, and by the end of the show is pretty much best friends with the Janitor.
- Perpetual Frowner: So often smiling actually hurts and it is said that sadness is his default expression.
- Prone to Sunburn: He claims this is true of himself in the episode where the cast goes to Hawaii for the janitor's wedding. He's seen applying liberal amounts of sunscreen to his face before going to the beach. He's later seen applying more because the previous amount is wearing off. Then he gets distracted, the sunscreen wears off, and he gets a sunburn in the time it takes to turn around.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: Because no one ever expects him to be there.
- Throw the Dog a Bone:
- The Janitor starts befriending him in Season 7.
- Finally gets a girlfriend in Season 8 and gets to show her off to the people who thought she was made up. Too bad it's revealed she left him for Hooch in his appearance on Cougar Town.
- "Thanks for everything, Ted. Sincerely."
- By the end of the series, the hospital staff in general seems to be more caring towards him. After a visit from Dr. Kelso causes Ted to freak out and faint, Cox tells him to go lie down, Kelso lays a blanket over him while inquiring about his presence at the hospital, and J.D. notes that everyone has been "spending time with him, taking him on walks" before scratching Ted's ear like a dog. Played for Laughs, of course, but the humor around him is far less morbid than it was during the earlier portions of the series.
- Ultimate Job Security: He's never won a case, doesn't understand medicine, barely understands law, his boss openly despises him, and he himself wants to be fired. Despite this, his job is never in peril. (Probably because he's the only person with a will weak enough to be Kelso's lackey).
Jordan Sullivan
Jordan Sullivan
Played By: Christa Miller
"If you talk again, I'm going to eat you!"
A member of the board at Sacred Heart Hospital, and Dr. Cox's ex-wife-ish. Saying she has a vindictive personality is like saying liquid helium is a little cold.
- Amicably Divorced: With Dr. Cox, their relation actually ends up being happier when they're divorced than when they're married. When they learn that their divorce was never made official due to an error, they get divorced again to save their relationship.
- Ascended Extra: Was originally only supposed to appear in one episode, but due to her popularity (and also perhaps to a small extent due to being married to the creator), she became a recurring character for the rest of the series.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other:
- With Dr. Cox. Zigzagged as it is stated early on that they both like being mean (to both each other and others). They really care for each other but still hate to admit it and given the personality of both of them, it's not that surprising.
- She acts aloof towards Ben initially, but it's obvious that she snarks and nags at him because she does genuinely worry about him. His death devastates her and it her grieving process clashes with Cox’s until they properly communicate about it.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Dr. Cox before getting back together with him, and even with J.D in her first appearance.
- Berserk Button: In "My Self-Examination", Perry tells her she's exactly like her mother which pisses her off greatly.
- Catchphrase: "For funsies!"
- Deadpan Snarker: Towards everyone, but especially in her Snark-to-Snark Combat with Dr. Cox.
- Distaff Counterpart: Not in terms of occupation, but definitely in terms of personality with Dr. Cox.
- Doting Parent: Despite her flaws, she's shown to be a loving parent to her children. Even Dr. Cox. says she's this.
- Ephebophile: She has a crush on a 17-year-old neighbor boy.
- Fake Guest Star: Credited as a guest despite appearing in over 80 episodes across every season in the show.
- Freudian Excuse: Parodied and later subverted in her A Day in the Limelight episode. She claimed that her acerbic personality was due to her parents being mean to her, but later in the episode it turned out she was lying.Jordan: Here take the fake sugars, because I hope you get cancer, I really do.
[Everyone in background gasps]
Jordan: Well my parents were mean to me.
Everyone: Ohh. - The Gadfly: She likes messing with people just to entertain herself.
- Gender-Blender Name: Like her sister.
- Godzilla Threshold: Other characters only think to ask Jordan for help as a last resort, likely because they don't want to be indebted to her.
- Guy on Guy Is Hot: Janitor feeds scone to Kelso
= Jordan wanting sex: "Mama's heating up!" - Happily Married: Inverted; she and Dr. Cox seem to have a much better relationship divorced. Finding out in a later episode that they were still legally married worsened their relationship and they filed for divorce again. While they never actually marry again, season eight puts them on the path to acknowledging they actually love each other and not the childish Slap-Slap-Kiss they ALWAYS had going on before.
- I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: She's a firm believer in the Buxom Beauty Standard and is prone to showing off her breasts to others to get them to do something for her.
- I'm a Humanitarian: One episode has a pregnant and hormonal Jordan talking with Carla suffering from Post Partum Depression, having gone through it herself. When Turk tries to get a word in edgewise, she threatens to eat him if he speaks up again.
- Jerkass: Even moreso than Dr. Cox."There's nothing like looking into someone's eyes and seeing part of them die. Oh! There it goes. Bye bye hope. Bye bye."
- Jerkass Has a Point: Despite being quite superior herself, Jordan does have an excellent point that Carla needs to get off her high-horse and stop acting like she's better than everyone else, because it can and will bite her in the ass.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Like Cox, she's exuberantly acerbic and sarcastic, but deep down caring (albeit emotionally repressed) and loving, although she only expresses this to Cox and her son, Jack.
- Kick the Dog: She wastes no time in establishing to the audience that she is a mean woman every time she makes an appearance, typically through some mean sarcasm.
- Like Parent, Like Spouse: In her debut, Dr. Cox muses "You want a woman who's like your mother, then you realize you hate your mother.
- Mrs. Robinson: She slept with J.D. in her debut episode and shows attraction towards the much younger Dr Matthews in "Her Story II".
- One-Hour Work Week: Jordan inherited her place on the hospital's board from her father, and she only really has to do anything resembling work every couple of months.
- Parental Neglect: Played for laughs; Jordan does love her kids and is capable of looking after them, but if given the chance to laze around, drinking, and/or pampering herself, she will leave them in the care of nannies, or Perry if he's available.
- Parents as People: Jordan is an emotionally closed-off person and while she can be a great and caring parent, she resents and neglects her kids and thinks they like the nanny more then her. She's aware of this and does try by the Season 8 finale to become more emotionally available for them.
- Pet the Dog:
- In "My Female Trouble", she gives Elliot a pep talk to help her deal with a sexist patient.
- In "My Friend With Money", she talks to Carla and uses her own experience with postpartum depression to help Carla accept that she needs help dealing with her PPD.
- In "Their Story", Jordan actually feels bad when her advice causes problems for Elliot and Keith's relationship and she encourages them to talk out their problems.
- In "My Finale", she gives J.D. a kiss goodbye and wishes him luck in his new job.
- Plastic Bitch: Jordan has been mentioned have undergone a number of procedures including a boob job and an operation on her armpits that prevents them from sweating.
- Power Dynamics Kink: In her first appearance, she was assigned to JD as a patient. Because she was a member of the hospital board, she largely ignored him and even planned to leave before he cleared her to go. This caused JD to snap at her and demand she follow his orders. Jordan becomes turned on by this and had sex with him.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Jordan gives one of these to the entire cast at the end of the first season. It's one of the many things she has in common with her ex-husband.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Both of her pregnancies were written in when Christa Miller became pregnant.
- Really Gets Around: In the 18 months that she and Dr. Cox were separated, she slept with Petey, Mickhead, J.D. and several other Sacred Heart employees.
- Rite of Passage: Dr. Cox prevents the staff from warning her about a drug addict who's swindled almost every doctor and nurse. After he gets Jordan too, the rest of the hospital staff becomes much warmer to her.
- Safety in Indifference: She admits to Elliot her callousness is a self-defense mechanism because she cannot stand feeling emotionally vulnerable.
- Satellite Love Interest: She rarely gets any subplots outside of being Dr. Cox's ex-wife and current partner, and her relationships with her family are never explored - even Ben's death is relegated to the sidelines to focus on Dr. Cox's mourning period and she barely interacts very much with Danni either. Averted in "Their Story", where she gets her A Day in the Limelight which is not about her relationship with Dr. Cox.
- Sex Goddess: It's often implied she's really good at sex, which is why Dr. Cox ends up coming back to her for Sex with the Ex so often.
- Sugary Malice: After becoming a mother, Jordan's dry wit takes a turn for the sickly sweet. She still heaps emotional abuse on Perry and their peers, but does so in a cute voice and a tone that would be comforting if not for the words.
- Took a Level in Kindness: After becoming a mother, she slides from a Jerkass to a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. She still likes to screw with people's heads, but it seems to lose most of her earlier maliciousness and be more harmless pranking;Jordan: For funsies!
- What Is This Feeling?: After potentially sabotaging Elliot and Keith's relationship, Jordan feels bad about it and doesn't know why.Jordan: I may have screwed up Blonde Stick's relationship, and now I have this really weird feeling.Dr. Cox: It's called "guilt," ya Vulcan.
Laverne Roberts
Laverne Roberts
Played By: Aloma Wright
"Junior, I don't know what you're doing in my area, but you better be looking for some bandages because you're going to need them when I get through with you."
Head nurse of Sacred Heart, Laverne is a devout Christian with twice the sass of Carla and a huge love for soap operas.
- Actually Pretty Funny: She's amused by Turk and J.D.'s Intern Comedy Show, where Turk plays a caricature of her as a crazy church lady. However, she stops laughing and attacks J.D. when he comes out dressed as Jesus.
- Birth-Death Juxtaposition: The day Dr. Cox's second child, Jennifer Dylan, is born is the same day Laverne dies.
- Catchphrase: "Mm-hmm."
- Characterization Marches On: In early seasons, her primary role is being a gossiping Sassy Black Woman who likes soap operas. Later on, while she stays snarky, her religious beliefs are played up and gossiping played down.
- Deadpan Snarker: She used her religious beliefs to snark at everyone, but she was still snarky.
- Death by Irony: She constantly tries to prove Cox wrong and tells him that everything in life happens for a reason. The morning after she convinces him that he might be wrong, she is caught in a car accident on the way to work, putting into a coma and eventually killing her.
- Flat Character: In early seasons, she was just Carla's friend and Sassy Black Woman. She got a bit more depth to her later on.
- Gossipy Hens: Along with Carla. She is probably the biggest gossip in the hospital, and in one case is seen running around the building to tell random people that two characters have hooked up, including turning patients and various other things in her way into an improvised obstacle course.
- Happily Married: A light quip about him falling asleep after sex aside, she and Mr. Roberts love each other very much.
- Hidden Depths: She comes across as self-righteous and calloused toward others, and her religion as a tool to bludgeon them with; but in "My No Good Reason" reveals that she's actually very compassionate and seeing patients suffer has taken an emotional toll on her, so she 'has' to believe there's a higher purpose to get out of bed in the morning.
- Holier Than Thou: She snarks at people by using her religious beliefs against them.Elliot: [relieved that the relative of a patient didn't hear her, J.D., and Turk all trying to pass off the troublesome patient] It's okay. Sh-she didn't hear us.
Laverne: No. But Jesus did. [Starts singing a hymn] - Hypocrite: Tries to shame people who have premarital sex with, "I shacked up with a man before I was married. His name was Jesus." After her accident, it's revealed that She and Dr. Kelso may have had sex "before Mr. Roberts", and later on Snoop Dogg Attending and Dr. Beardface are revealed to be "wiener cousins", and she was the woman. There's also her gossiping, which is very much against Christian teachings.
- Karma Houdini: Gets away with threatening and physically attacking people over things they say that she doesn't like.
- Last-Name Basis: As a sign of her old-fashioned attitudes toward relationships, she always refers to her (unseen) husband as "Mr. Roberts".
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: She gives a fiery one to Cox after trying to dishearten her Christian faith and shame her for her beliefs that everything happens according to God's plan.Cox: (regarding one of their patient's survival) The knife. It just happened to go in at the exact right spot. You do not get a win for dumb luck.
Laverne: Look! If that's the way you choose to see the world, then so be it. But don't you dare try to take this away from me. I've been coming in her every day for the past 24 years, watching children die and seeing good people suffer. And if I quit believe there wasn't a bigger plan behind all this...well I wouldn't be able to show up tomorrow! So Just Stop It!!! - Mama Bear: Extends this to her nephew; when Cox said the war he was fighting was "all for nothing", she joined Elliot in a feud against him and Turk.
- The Lancer: To Carla in nurse-centric plots and in schemes.
- Leeroy Jenkins: Gives the Trope Namer a Shout-Out in "My Scrubs" when she ignores Carla's careful planning, screams her own name, and punches a hole in Turk's car. In general, this is her solution to tackling conflict.
- Sassy Black Woman: Her sassiness makes Carla look meek in comparison. She even freely snarks at Dr. Kelso with no repercussions.
- Shut Up, Hannibal!: Delivers one to Dr. Cox as he wouldn't stop challenging her Christian faith with several rants.
Doug Murphy
Doug Murphy
Played By: Johnny Kastl
"They're like my children... my big dead children."
Formerly a resident, he is now the coroner of Sacred Heart. He's a big screw-up and he talks about his love for the job nonchalantly.
- Black Comedy: He's killed a lot of patients and that's funny. Even as a pathologist, the jokes about dead people around him don't stop.Coroner: Have you seen this before?
Doug: Seen it? Upstairs, they call that "a Doug" - Bunny-Ears Lawyer: He may be as weird as 99% of the other staff of the hospital and horribly incompetent when trying to treat living patients, but (in part due to killing so many patients) he is an extremely skilled coroner.
- Butt-Monkey: He was the worst doctor in the history of Sacred Heart and no one has any respect for him and he constantly has accidents as the coroner, one of which ended with him breaking both of his legs. note
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: During season 8, after Ted forgot to give Doug his invitation to the Janitor's wedding, Doug hides himself in a morgue drawer and is never seen again, and the members of the Brain Trust don't seem to miss him at all. He doesn't even reappear in J.D.'s final fantasy during his departure.
- Comically Inept Healing: He is one of the worst interns ever, in fact he is so bad he makes an excellent coroner because he knows all the ways that a Doctor can screw up and kill someone.
- Covert Pervert: He seems like an inept but innocent guy; but at one point J.D. catches him hiding under a counter to watch peoples' feet, after he developed a fetish.
- Determinator: Despite being a nervous wreck, killing a lot of patients and being the only person in the history of Sacred Heart to repeat their third year of residency; Doug never falters in his dedication to try to be a good doctor. He fails miserably, but it's the trying that counts, right?
- Genius Ditz: Bonus points because it's his inadequacy (in being a doctor) that makes him such a genius in the morgue at figuring out what killed patients. He also made it through med school in the first place.
- Hidden Depths:
- Originally a one-note failure as a doctor, it's later revealed that he's killed so many patients that he can easily identify a cause of death, so he became a top-rate coroner.
- He's an avid biking enthusiast, like Ted.
- Lethal Klutz: After becoming a coroner, he had an accident that broke both of his legs.
- Lethally Stupid: There's a running gag of him killing patients due to his incompetence.Nurse Roberts: Doug wanted me to give this patient five hundred thousand milligrams of Morphine note . I thought I'd check with you before I killed a man.
J.D.: Unbelievable, Doug. - Nervous Wreck: He's nervous about... everything. It's why Dr. Cox's nickname for him is "Nervous Guy".
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: After he gets a job in the morgue, he does some pretty creepy stuff with the corpses.
- Took a Level in Badass: He goes from a completely inept physician to a pretty talented coroner and pathologist. He still screws up and acts nervous, but he's notably more comfortable in his profession and even seems to be a respected leader among the morgue guys.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Lollipops. A habit he seems to have picked up from the other coroners. Maybe it helps with the smell.
- Ultimate Job Security: He somehow lasts three years as an intern before anyone begins to seriously doubt his suitability to become a doctor, and even then it doesn't happen until Doug himself asks the other staff whether or not they think he should quit. Contrast this with the way that Cabbage was fired almost immediately once J.D. realized just how incompetent he was. Somewhat "justified" in that in many cases, he is so comically inept that it isn't even clear how he keeps causing disasters- meaning, he can't be fired because it isn't clear what he did wrong. According to the writers his switch to becoming a good pathologist was done to ultimately avert this, as they felt the Rule of Funny only stretched so far and there was no plausible way someone that incompetent could last forever without being fired.
Keith Dudemeister
Keith Dudemeister
Played By: Travis Schuldt
A medical resident at Sacred Heart. First introduced as a timid intern, he becomes popular very soon, adapts to his hospital responsibilities and starts dating Elliot, to whom he eventually proposes.
- The Ace: Even though he was just an intern at the time, he was popular, handsome, and skilled.
- Always Someone Better: To JD, who initially hates him for this reason.
- Butt-Monkey: Usually being pushed around by Elliot.
- Demoted to Satellite Love Interest: In his early appearances, he's The Ace, and a very skilled doctor who is Always Someone Better to JD. After JD gets over his one-sided rivalry with him, Keith mostly appears only to be Elliot's Extreme Doormat boyfriend and his medical skills are no longer mentioned.
- The Dog Bites Back: After Elliot breaks off their engagement, he makes it a point to call her "pig whore" every time he sees her. Even if you normally hate Slut-Shaming, it's kinda cathartic in this case.
- Extreme Doormat: He has no backbone and he literally does everything Elliot wants him to do. In one episode Elliot wants to break up with him because he isn't able to stand up for himself.
- Flanderization: Not considering his debut episode where he was The Faceless, Keith was originally an exceptionally skilled intern, who was also handsome enough to attract Elliot and constantly nice to JD, despite the latter's antagonism. Over the time his trusting nature turns him into an Extreme Doormat who lets everyone walk all over him. In later episodes, his The Ace skills are never brought up again, and he's only there to be a submissive Satellite Love Interest who is always bossed around by Elliot.
- Hospital Hottie: A male example, in that he's considered good-looking In-Universe.
- Informed Attractiveness: A lot of characters bring up how apparently handsome he is, especially JD.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Lampshaded by Dr. Kelso at one point as Elliot calls the shots in their relationship.
- Mr. Fanservice: He gets more than a few Shirtless Scenes.
- Nice Guy: He really loved Elliot and did everything for her, even though she was always bitchy to him. He only gets mad at her after she breaks off the engagement. He's also, despite being handsome and talented, enthusiastic to be friends with those others see as weird or losers.
- Odd Friendship:
- He and Ted bond over pop rox, and Ted sticks up for him when he's heart-broken. It might not be as odd as it seems when you consider Keith was too nervous to speak on his first day, so they understand each other's anxiety.
- He tries to invoke this with Doug and the other "morgue guys", thinking they're cool, but Elliot stops him.
- Romantic False Lead: He existed for Elliot to be Friends with Benefits with and then date and get engaged to so she could realize she didn't want to marry him and for J.D. to realize he still loved Elliot.
- Shrinking Violet: He's introduced as this in the first episode of season 5 where he's not even able to talk to people. He gets better but still remains kind of an Extreme Doormat.
- The Sixth Ranger: Interacts with the main cast and is present at important events a lot more during his time with Elliot.
- Straw Conservative: Part of his draw to Elliot; their "dirty talk" includes praising Ronald Reagan and calling Hillary Clinton "that bitch".
Denise Mahoney
Denise Mahoney
Played By:' Eliza Coupe
An intern introduced in Season 8 who becomes a Resident in Season 9. J.D. takes her under his wing. She's not very good at being caring and compassionate.
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: To Drew, anyway. He's The Atoner with a Dark and Troubled Past and she finds him attractive.
- Ascended Extra: The only one of the season 8 interns that becomes a regular character in season 9.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Drew in season 9, bordering on Slap-Slap-Kiss.
- Brutal Honesty: She's very rude, and always tells people exactly what she thinks about them.
- Character Development: Under J.D.'s influence, she becomes a little better at being compassionate and able to be kinder to her patients and co-workers, in Season 9, she's able to genuinely have a proper relationship with a med student.
- Chubby Chaser: Is very attracted to fat dudes, to the point she becomes extremely turned on when Derek and Drew mention that they used to be a lot heavier.
- Deadpan Snarker: Has a very cynical and snarky attitude.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: She starts out as very cold and insensitive, but gradually learns to be more compassionate, under J.D's influence.
- Everyone Has Standards: Denise seems to be cold and lacks empathy, but it turns out she knew about this failing of hers. When J.D. tries to apologize for being hard on her, Denise tells him he doesn't have to apologize. She 'wants'' him to be hard on her because doctors have to care for their patients.
- Foil: To her mentor J.D. They have a Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy dynamic, with the most prominent difference between the two being their sense of empathy towards their patients. J.D. has too much, whereas Denise is lacking in it. J.D. is often given girls' names by his mentor Cox, whereas Denise is given the masculine nickname "Jo".
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: As harsh, angry, and unfriendly as she is, she does care deep down, she's just unable to openly express it properly.
- Lack of Empathy: She clearly 'wants' to see patients either get better or die with dignity; but seeing the emotional process of grief in others perplexes her.
- The Lad-ette: An entire story arc was made where J.D. had to not necessarily make her feminine, but at least able to comprehend patient empathy.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: She has the dynamic with her superior J.D., which she lampshades. Denise is tough, doesn't show a lot of emotions, lacks empathy and acts more like a man (with her only feminine charm being that she's aware how sexy she is that she can get any guy she wants). J.D. acts often feminine, is very touchy with Turk, is emotional and very compassionate.
- Not So Above It All: For someone who claims that she can't feel anything, she screams at the top of her lungs when Turk and Elliott pull a prank on the interns to subdue their egos. (For context, the prank was Elliott telling a scary story about a tongueless patient that hid in a hazard bin, and Turk pops out with a mouth full of blood.) She also still looks terrified even as some of the others start laughing.
- No Social Skills: She does a terrible job when she actually attempts to get close to her patients, such as making jokes at their expense or telling them about her sex life.
- Promotion to Opening Titles: In season 9, after she's promoted as a main character.
- Really Gets Around: She loves fat dudes, they don't expect commitment and they're really grateful, so they put in a lot of effort.
- Sex for Solace: She sleeps around to combat this low self-esteem issues.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: The Tomboy to most girls she interacts with, primarily Sunny in season 8, and Lucy in season 9.
- Tomboyish Ponytail: She often wears her hair this way.
- What the Hell, Hero?: She gets pissed off at J.D. for trying to apologize for giving her a hard time for going through with a procedure that ended up helping find out the patient's illness since he's pushing her to be more compassionate and helping her being a better doctor. J.D. then kindly tells her that he can't be responsible for her compassion; she has to do that, and he knows she has it in her. (He's right on both counts.)
