A list of characters from the comic strip Pearls Before Swine
The main character; a very
cynical rat who is critical of the strip's work and often schemes to get a quick buck. He believes himself to be utterly superior to everyone around him and constantly antagonizes and trolls everyone around him.
The second most important character of the strip and Rat's roommate: a good natured, yet naive and dimwitted anthropomorphic pig who lives with Rat.
A goat who lives near Pig and Rat. He is much more intelligent than both of them, but his intelligence is usually not acknowledged by either of them.
- Bookworm: He is often seen reading while at the diner that he and his friends go to.
- Catch Phrase: Check Please
- After reading Rat's latest work: "You cannot put this in X!" (usually a children's novel) or "You really should stop writing X."
- Character Filibuster
- Comic Trio: He's the smart yet powerless one between Rat and Pig.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Executive Meddling: A positive example, as early on the editors requested another character for the strip, and Pastis went through several animals before the Goat we know today was born.
- Face Palm: Or occasionally an Eye Take.
- Ineffectual Loner: Prefers to kept to himself and his books for the most part. This may be because many of the other characters are irredeemably stupid in spite of Goat's efforts to correct their misconceptions. He seems to get along best with the level-headed Zebra.
- Momma's Boy: Averted. Goat himself admits that he hasn't talked to his mother for a period of some years, though there is later a week-long arc when he does visit her.
- Only Sane Man
- No Respect Guy
- The Smart Guy
- Stage Names: His real name is Paris, he claims Goat is a stage name.
A friend of Pig, Rat, and Goat. He's also quite intelligent and also very kind and gentle. At first, he was seen patching relations long-distance with his relatives back home and a pride of lions. Later, he primarily tries to avoid the schemes of the crocodile fraternity Zeeba Zeeba Eata.
Zeeba Zeeba Eata
A fraternity of crocodiles whose fraternity house is next door to Zebra. Their primary goal is to kill and eat Zebra, but due to their stupidity, they are unable to accomplish this.
- Arch-Enemies: Of Zebra, but they aren't on good terms with the rest of the cast.
- Catch Phrase: "Hullo, zeeba neighba."
- Critical Research Failure: Invoked. If any of their plans involves a famous person, odds are they not only get the person's history completely wrong, but the person is most likely dead.
- Dropped a Bridge on Them: Their plans constantly get their own members killed.
- Failure Is the Only Option: They will never eat Zebra.
- Funetik Aksent: See their Catch Phrase above. They also occasionally lapse into You No Take Candle.
- Goldfish Poop Gang: Their plans mostly kill their own members rather than Zebra.
- Hidden Depths: They can swim. Yes, really. For all their idiocies, they can swim to save their lives.
- Painting the Medium: They speak in a unique, properly capitalized font in contrast to the Bold Inflation used by the rest of the cast.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: A frequent part of their schemes, Zebra is never fooled.
- Red Shirts/Mooks: All of them, with the exception of Larry.
- Too Dumb to Live: Literally, as noted above.
A member of Zeeba Zeeba Eata, Larry lives in the house behind Zebra and is even dumber than his fellow Crocs, though not by much. He also has a wife, Patty, and a son, Junior.
- The Alcoholic: Often is seen drinking beer.
- Birthday Hater: He's revealed to really hate his birthday. He tries some strange tricks like hiding from his birthday cake, and covering his ears(?) and saying "Me can't hear you!" more than once when his name is called in the "Happy Birthday" song. He does these things because he thinks he won't grow a year older if he does them. He wants to think of himself as 26 years old, when he's apparently twice that age.
- Bumbling Dad
- Butt Monkey
- Education Papa: Inverted. He doesn't want Junior to go to school, and instead just wants him to stay home and play Wii, at one point even tackling Junior to keep him from going to school.
- Jerkass: When Patty got kidnapped once, his first instinct was too beg for food until he realized she was gone and if it wasn't for Junior begging him, he probably would have let Zebra keep her.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite his greedy nature, he loves his son.
- The Load
- Man Child: He believes that tofu comes from a "Tofu Cow" (which he sculpts the tofu into), and will follow any Simon Sez order without question for example.
- Mauve Shirt
- Never My Fault
- Small Name, Big Ego
- They Killed Kenny: Has died at least once.
Larry's wife and Juniors mother. Puts up with a lot from Larry and is constantly disappointed in him.
- Distressed Damsel: Zebra kidnapped her for a few weeks in an attempt to get Larry and his fellow crocs to stop trying to eat him. He eventually returned her when he realized Larry really didn't care and Zebra was only hurting Junior.
- Fantastic Racism: Does not like her son dating a zebra and wants Larry to kill Zebra. Justified in that Larry's a predator. Later Subverted in that while she still wants Zebra dead, she's willing to put differences aside so Junior would come home for Christmas.
- Only Sane Woman.
Larry and Patty's son. He tries not to be like the rest of his race and is not only friends with Zebra but a vegetarian. He has a zebra girlfriend named Joy, who happens to be Zebra's niece. Larry and Patty are not happy about any of this.
Pig's, well, Guard Duck that he bought when he and Rat couldn't afford a guard dog. He is highly paranoid and his first solution to most problems is to shoot like the dickens. He occasionally works as a soldier of fortune and is usually off on his own adventures separate from the group these days.
- Acrophobic Bird: He never learned to fly.
- Badass: And how!
- Berserk Button: Don't insult him or talk down to him It won't end well.
- And as the Crocs learned, don't mention Maura leaving him if you don't want to become a pair of boots.
- Breakout Character: Was originally just another week of one-off strips but the fans liked him enough that Stephan brought him back.
- The Caligula: During his brief reign as Mayor he used the city's funds to get revenge on his enemies list, build a giant statue of himself, and saw All the President's Men as an instruction book on how to run the city.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Eventually comes to the conclusion that cows are in control of the world and he tries to convince Pig and his friends about this.
- Heartbroken Badass: During the times Maura has left him he's made one of the Crocs into a pair of boots, and killed one with a copy machine.
- Heroic BSOD: After Maura, his non-anthropomorphic duck girlfriend leaves him again he proceeded to stalk other couples in paris and tell them how long he thinks the relationship will last and burns down the greeting cards section of a store.
- He's Back: After his Heroic BSOD after Maura left him to be a AFLAC spokesduck, he takes out the last member of the Crocs "Fantastic Four" and destroys a puppet Rat had been using to torment Pig into obeying him.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite his violent tendencies, he did genuinely love Maura, is friends with Snuffles, and cares deeply about Pig.
- Morally Ambiguous Ducktorate
- Perma Stubble
- Psycho for Hire: Worked as one of these before coming back to Pig and Rat.
- Put on a Bus: Granted we still saw snapshots of his life with Maura, but he left the main cast for a while to live with her.
- Smoking Is Cool
- Trigger Happy: Seriously so. His first response to almost anything is a rocket launcher.
The creator of the strip. Frequently visits, or is visited by Rat to his never ending frustration.
- Author Guest Spot
- Butt Monkey: He's criticized and threatened by Rat all the time. He doesn't get much love from the other characters, either.
- Characterization Marches On: He used to be He Who Must Not Be Seen, then an arrogant douchebag, and many other appearances until he settled on one modeled after himself.
- Only in It for the Money: His motivation for creating "Licensable Bippy" (see down below).
- Smoking Is Cool: Averted. Not only does the real Stephan not smoke, but Stephan is shown as an out of shape middle aged pudgy guy. Pastis' author commentary reveals that this is because he intended to make himself look like a loser.
- Writers Suck
Pig's sister and the love of Rat's life.
- Bubble Girl: By choice, as she's really germaphobic.
- Interspecies Romance: All her romances have been this, except when she was briefly married to another pig.
- Really Gets Around: Has dated both Dilbert and Hagar the Horrible while apparently with Rat and then left him for Ziggy. She's also apparently dating someone else now.
Pig's on-and-off girlfriend of many years. She is constantly frustrated with his immaturity.
- Mood-Swinger: She didin't used to be called moody Pigita for nothing.
- What Does She See in Him?: She only sees the bad in Pig and threatens to break up with him constantly but never does for long.
A cat that the Crocs bought to maim Zebra, but ended up as Zebra's pet. Does shady activities including terrorism, selling stolen watches and running a gambling ring. Also Guard Duck's best friend.
A non-anthropomorphic duck and the love of Guard Duck's life. Left him to go south for the winter and later came back for him, only to leave him again to be a spokesduck for Aflac.
A suicidal porcupine, though he mainly plans it for attention.
Pig's arch enemy who's also a sea anemone.
A man who worked at an amusement park. Wore his costume all the time and moved in with Rat and Pig. Was eventually killed off.
A young bear and social activist
Chuckie the Non-Anthropomorphic Sheep
A sheep. That's about it.
A syrup bottle that Pig feel in love with until Pigita and Rat killed her.
Toby The Agoraphobic Turtle
A turtle who never leaves his shell. Drinks from a beer bong into it.
A fictional charicter made by Rat. Dies at the end of every story.
A dog tied up to a chain in his owner's backyard, but that doesn't stop him from trying to follow his dreams. Not anymore, it would seem.
- Parental Neglect
- The Pollyanna
- Yank the Dog's Chain: Had a girlfriend who was also chained up in the backyard for a while. They couldn't reach far enough to touch each other. She escaped in the middle of the night and did not try and help him. Ouch.
- He finally escapes to visit his dying father. Turns out his father can't care less about him.
The Killer Whale
A killer whale who tried to trick a family of seals by befriending them so he could eat them. Eventually died.
From Family Circus
A girl rat dated. Very very controlling.
- Control Freak: Taken to the point where she was timing Rat's sneezes and tried to give him a different mother.
- Distracted by the Sexy: The only reason Rat put up with her is because he thought she was cute.
Christmas Tree Girl
A girl who sells Christmas trees and ocasinally dates rat.
Connie The Judgmental Cow
A cow that shouts insults from a distance.
A train conductor for toy trains. Got laid off, then had his wife leave him and things just kept getting worse from there.
- Humiliation Conga: Lost his job, lost his wife, had her move the new guy into his house, got stepped on, was forced to move to the microwave, was almost cooked alive in said microwave, and then finally held on to Pig's balloon and got sent into a ceiling fan.
- The Pollyanna
Dickie the Cockroach
A comic strip character that rat made that came to life. Kindaps people who he dosen't like.
- Disproportionate Retribution
- Executive Meddling Pastis originally intended that Dickie would take the heads of people he didn't like, but editors felt this wouldn't go over well, particularly after journalist Daniel Pearl was beheaded by kidnappers in Afghanistan. Pastis changed the strips to have Dickie slapping duct tape on the mouths of people, instead. The original strips were included in later collections so that readers could judge for themselves.
A children's book charicter created by Rat. Like to drink to forget his problems.
Ellie the Elephant
Another one of Rat's creations, Ellie is an elephant that has a terribly thoughtless boyfreind, Henry the Hippo.
Max and Zach
A pair of Lions who live next door to Zebra. Despite being Zebra's predators, they are actually on quite good terms with him since their wives do all the hunting and even warn him when their wives sense weakness in Zebra.
- Anti-Villain: Really, they have no reason to antagonize Zebra since their wives catch plenty of other animals for them, but they still eat other zebras and antelopes.
- Beware the Nice Ones: They are usually friendly and harmless, but when the Crocs steal their meat, they proceed to viciously hunt them until the one responsible (or at least the one Larry framed) was caught.
- Nightmare Face: Max demonstrates one after their first set of wives leave.
- Spanner in the Works: Help Zebra avoid being eaten.
- Polyamory: As it is in nature, the wives are really not assigned to either of them and are free to mate with whichever one they feel like at the moment and vice versa.
- Totally Radical
A character that Stephan created to grab a quick buck. He is described by his creator as bland, big-eyed, and smiling.