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Marty Armstrong
"You're wasting your time... You really don't get it do you? You really thought you could forget? Why are you trying so hard?... Accept it... You can't fight something that already happened... There is no understanding, no purpose... There is only life, and this one is yours... Accept it... I'm here to stay."
Brad and Lisa's father. An abusive, alcoholic, middle-aged deadbeat. He molested Lisa and physically and verbally assaulted Brad. He had an extremely negative effect on both Brad and Lisa's lives.
- Abusive Parent: His abusiveness towards both Lisa and Brad from the backstory of the game.
- The Alcoholic: He is first seen with a beer in the prologue of The Painful, and you can find a bunch of glass bottles on the island he lives on. He also attacks by throwing bottles at Brad.
- Animal Motifs: Spiders. One of the forms Marty takes in Lisa's (and later, Brad's) mind is that of a spider with his head as the body. In the Definitive Edition as the Manifestation of Marty, he can consume your party and turn them into spiders, and reaching the Manifestation himself will have him grow sacs on his body that provide him with constant healing.
- Asshole Victim: Gets beaten up brutally by Brad and then blasted into bits, but after what he did to Lisa he had it coming. The tragedy of his death lies more in 1) the fact that Buddy had to watch, all while protesting and begging Brad not to kill him, and 2) that Brad is proving himself to be no better than he ever was by beating the shit out of Buddy just to finish off a defenseless old man.
- The Atoner: In Painful, he's attempting to make up for his mistakes by taking care of Buddy, and coming to her protection when she gets hit by Brad. Unfortunately, Brad's too far gone to be capable of forgiving him. In his final moments, he begs Lisa for forgiveness.
- Bald of Evil: He's almost bald and is viciously abusive towards his children. Subverted near the end of the game, as he tries to take care of Buddy as an actual father figure of sorts, and even tries to protect Buddy from Brad.
- Big Bad: Only in The First.
- The Corrupter: He begins to creep into Lisa's mind more and more throughout the game. In Joyful, it's heavily implied in one of the endings that he caused Brad to rape Lisa while under the influence.
- Inverted in The Painful, where he tells Buddy to stay away from the Joy pills.
- Dramatic Irony: His interactions with Buddy show that he was a better father than Brad ever was, and that even though he's turned over a new leaf out of sheer guilt and regret for his actions, he still winds up harming Brad, although indirectly, due to the trauma Brad experienced at his hands.
- Greater-Scope Villain: Sure, he’s not as directly involved in the main conflict as Dr. Yado, but his physical, emotional, and sexual abuse towards his children had severe repercussions later on, especially after the flash. Him being the root cause of Lisa's suicide was the main straw that broke the camel's back, as it was a major reason for Brad's alcoholism and Joy Addiction, and severely screwed up Buzzo, who would torture Brad any way he could and became an Addict as well. He’s pretty much responsible for 50% of the game's conflict. It's telling that the end credits give him special thanks.
- Hate Sink: Not only did he abuse Brad and Lisa, but in one of the epilogues in Joyful, he introduces Brad to drugs, and it's implied he forced him to rape Lisa.
- Heel–Face Door-Slam: He is shown to have started to turn his life around out of guilt for what he has done, but the damage he did to Brad caught up with him, resulting in Brad beating the stuffing out of Marty and then obliterating his upper body with a fireball.
- Hidden Depths: He wasn't always the abusive parent that he's known for. It is hinted that it may have something to do with losing his wife.
- The fact that he has been protecting Buddy for a few days before Brad showed up, and how Buddy says he was a better father than Brad ever was, shows that he has the potential to be a good parent.
- Irony: In The First, he enjoys his ability to control Lisa, and has no problem with sexually abusing her, as well as physically and emotionally abusing Brad. In The Painful, he is the one who takes care of Buddy when she was on the run from Brad and even proves to be a far better parent than Brad. He even comes to Buddy's aid the moment Brad assaults her. Also considering that for a setting where a lot of the men are perverts and want Buddy for sex, Marty is among the few that is not interested in sex with Buddy.
- Mental Monster: The Manifestation of Marty, added in the Definitive Edition, is a giant mountain of flesh that represents just how terrifying and monstrous Brad thought his father was. It's incredibly strong, incredibly hard to defeat and taunts and mocks Brad over his flaws and faults every step of the way. Noticeably, when compared to the real thing (a pathetic, out of shape old man who cannot do much to Brad) this Marty has been warped by Brad's traumatic memories into a nigh-unstoppable beast.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Is on the receiving end of the trope by Brad. It's not that he didn't deserve it, though.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: It's not explained exactly how Marty found himself living on the Deserted Island, or even how he survived in the Olathian wasteland throughout the years.
- Papa Wolf: He saves Buddy's life when she wrecks the boat, and when Brad smacks her away, he immediately comes to her defense.
- Parental Incest: Since his wife passed away, he has no qualms about replacing her with his (unwilling) daughter. He does come to fully regret this later on, even before he gets his.
- Parental Neglect: One flashback depicts him handing the baby Lisa to Brad telling him to 'deal with it', suggesting he forced him to handle her care.
- Please, Don't Leave Me: In a scene from Brad's nightmare, Marty resents his father for taking Brad away, and implores the latter not to leave him, since Marty had already lost his wife. He even offers Brad to buy another shirt.
- Small Role, Big Impact: While he's certainly not responsible for the White Flash, he's directly and indirectly responsible for most of the main characters' flaws and conflicts.
- Superboss: The definitive edition adds a secret area culminating in a rough Marathon Boss against a hallucination of a Joy Mutant-esque Marty, taking the form of his head atop a massive heap of hairy, disgusting flesh not unlike the Marty abomination found in the White Palace in ''First'', as well as Tricky Rick returning and summoning shadow clones of Brad and his party members alongside Spider Thralls taking the form of either Marty or a consumed party member.
- Vengeance Feels Empty: Invoked. By the time he finally appears again at a very advanced age, it's clear that he's filled with an extreme amount of guilt for what he did to Brad and Lisa, and winds up being no different from Brad as it's implied that he's trying to be a better person, making killing him feeling less like a cathartic moment for Brad and more like a completely uneccessary murder on a guilty, yet undeserving man.
Tricky Rick
The only other person Lisa encounters in her mind. Rick is a sleazy man that speaks in double entendres, whom Lisa must harm to progress.
- Anthropomorphic Personification: He's heavily implied to represent Marty's sexual abuse, as he always appears spouting entendres while Lisa tries to evade or attack him.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Rick's head is phallic in shape, all of his dialogue has a sexual connotation, he acts uncomfortably around Lisa, and the only ways to get past him are to kill him or make him take pills.
- Groin Attack: One of the ways he goes down is by Lisa using a razor on him. Given what he's supposed to represent...
- Meaningful Name: "Tricky Rick" is a letter off from "Tricky Dick" (Dick is an alternate shorthand nickname for Richard), an appendage he physically resembles. It's also the nickname of Richard Nixon, a man generally regarded in the public view as a (metaphorical) sleazebag.
- One-Steve Limit: Another Rick appears in The Painful as one of Buddy's "uncles", but due to being a mental construct, this Rick is already gone by then.
- Rhyming Names: Both parts of his name end in "-ick".
- They Killed Kenny Again: Every time he acts as a roadblock, Lisa must use an item on him that will kill him.
Joy Mutants
From left to right, top to bottom: Charmy, Peter, Doctor, Cooper, Louie, and Sweetheart
Bizarre, contorted, and deadly creatures who came to be as a result of humans overdosing on Joy. They are motivated by their "deepest desires", which often manifest in the form of violence.
- A.I. Roulette: Joy Mutants aren't traditional "boss battles" like other bosses in the game; they're more like walls you have to hope you survive through. You might get incredibly lucky and have them spend the whole combat crying and hurting themselves, which isn't too difficult but very disturbing, or they might break two of your party members' necks(which is a One-Hit Kill with No Saving Throw) and leave Brad at near-death. This is very intentional, as most Joy mutants are barely-conscious monsters wallowing in their own self-pity and aren't even trying to attack you, so engaging in combat with them is essentially a high-stakes version of Bullying a Dragon.
- Ambiguous Gender: There are some hints towards Sweetheart being one of the few remaining females prior to its transformation, such as its moaning (which sounds rather feminine) and long hair. Dingaling has stated that Sweetheart's gender is irrelevant. Sweetheart’s sprites in the game’s code imply it’s real name is Gale, which doesn’t help matters.
- And I Must Scream: It's implied that they're aware of their current state, but can't do anything about it. Many will spend turns crying and/or screaming.
- Ax-Crazy: Their desires come in the form of killing everyone in sight.
- Battle Theme Music: With a few exceptions, a slowed-down version of Soft Skin
in The Painful and The Big Girl Has Cometh in The Joyful. - Beef Gate: Several of them block off side areas or hold key items that unlock more stuff, but beating them is always going to be a challenge at every point in the game. Charmy, the firstnote mutant you'll encounter, is a definitive example of this; it's guarding the Toy Bicycle, which is a key item needed to progress the story, but Brad has no chance of killing it without a full party and some firebombs, which the game encourages you to go find.
- Blob Monster: Bobby from The Joyful resembles one.
- Blood from the Mouth: Several Mutants will squander turns coughing up blood, dealing damage to themselves.
- Body Horror: It varies from Mutant to Mutant, but it often involves the body becoming horribly stretched and/or bloated.
- Car Fu: Rex Thunderstorm will sometimes slam his bike to attack you.
- Clipped-Wing Angel: Humans turn into Mutants when under physical and/or mental trauma, or when they're at death's door. However, they're greatly impaired by their screwy mental states and physical deformities.
- Death Glare: One of their shared attacks is Glare, which can induce the Weird condition on your party.
- Despair Event Horizon: The reason that Joy addicts mutate in the first place is due to a catalystic moment where they become totally overwhelmed by their own negative emotions, meaning that whatever mutated pile of flesh is left is an Empty Shell with barely any coherent thought or personality left except sadness or violent anger depending on the trigger. Brad fighting his way through the whole Rando Army after killing Rando and Buzzo/Berny losing his mind and having a Villainous Breakdown both trigger their Joy mutations.
- The Dragon: Sweetheart serves as one to Dr. Yado in The Joyful.
- Drugs Are Bad: They're all the result of people using the Fantastic Drug Joy.
- First-Name Basis: Barring Henry Wyatt and Rex Thunderstorm, all mutants lose their last names upon mutating, being known only by their first name (or a nickname).
- Fluffy the Terrible: Many mutants have ordinary, even cutesy names such as Georgy, Beady, and Baby, which serve to contrast against their horrific state and deadly natures.
- Howl of Sorrow: A lot of them know Yell, which can be interpreted as this. It induces Scared on its targets.
- Interplay of Sex and Violence: As one deteriorates into a mutant, oftentimes thoughts of intimacy and violence slowly merge and blur together as their desires become twisted by Joy. In his notes, Doctor begins to comment about how much he suddenly wants to brutally kill his beloved wife, and a pre-transformation Blue confesses he has been having “Violent, intimate thoughts”.
- Jump Scare:
- After grabbing the record from Henry Wyatt, he lowers his head to attack you immediately after you leave his room.
- As you're climbing Snow Mountain, Peter will suddenly jump down to ambush you.
- Man Bites Man: Almost all mutants will bite to attack. Most also know Fatal Chomp, a far deadlier variant of Bite.
- Mighty Glacier: With the exception of Jonathan, who has 99 Agility, all Mutants only have 1 Agility but have buckets of HP and high Attack stats.
- Music Soothes the Savage Beast: The majority of Mutants are able to be controlled via Dr. Yado's trumpet.
- Mythology Gag: Harry in The Joyful greatly resembles the horrifically-mutated Marty hallucination seen in The First.
- Neck Snap: A handful of mutants carry Neck Break, which permanently kills its target in a similar manner to Fatal Chomp.
- Non-Malicious Monster: You'll encounter a handful of mutants who don't want to fight, likely because they've fulfilled their desires. One Mutant even acts as a save point in The Painful (though it's not present in Pain Mode).
- Non-Standard Character Design:
- Doctor looks rather different from the other mutants, as it has yellowed teeth, red-and-black eyes, and an Undeathly Pallor. Possibly justified in that it's implied that he's been sitting in his basement for years.
- Similarly, Jonathan also has an Undeathly Pallor and red eyes in addition to gray teeth, but outside of these traits and his stretchy arms, he looks somewhat normal. This in conjunction with him not dropping Joy made many fans question his status as a Mutant. Dingaling ultimately confirmed that he is a Mutant in spite of these factors.
- Number of the Beast: Jonathan gives you 6666 Experience after you defeat him.
- Odd Name Out: Henry Wyatt, Rex Thunderstorm, and Dice Mahone are the only mutants with full names.
- Off with His Head!: The majority of Mutants carry Fatal Chomp, which bites the head off of its target, killing them instantly and permanently.
- One Name Only: Nearly all of them have only a first name, a nickname, or a title, with the exceptions of Henry Wyatt and Rex Thunderstorm, as well as Dice Mahone.
- Palette Swap: Some of the Mutant designs in The Joyful are based off of pre-existing and/or
unused Mutant sprites, such as Baby (whose sprite is a flipped Rex Thunderstorm without the motorcycle) and Dice Mahone (who is based off the unused Peter Smoove Mutant sprite from The Painful). - Permadeath: The biggest source of these in The Painful. All Mutants, with the exception of Doctor, carry at least one attack that can permanently kill a party member. Most notably, Peter carries both Fatal Chomp and Neck Break. This is averted in The Joyful, as their permadeath moves have been downgraded to slightly stronger attacks to compensate for the lack of party members.
- Rhyme Theme Naming: Most Joy Mutants' names end in "-y" in some way, with examples such as Georgy, Henry Wyatt, Bobby, Dice Mahone, Baby, Beady, and Berny.
- Sanity Slippage: As a person degenerates into a mutant, they begin to succumb more and more to intrustive thoughts of violence and the impulsive need to kill. In Brad's case, these thoughts are visually represented as a screen-wide covering of red brambles. Of course, the Joy user may then try to block out the intrusive thoughts with more Joy, which accelerates the onset of said thoughts until the user hits a Despair Event Horizon and becomes a mindless killing machine.Dr. Lemont's notes: Dr. Yado's Joy project is a complete failure, and I'm glad. None of the experiments had any military benefit. I can't wait to go home. Some of the other sciintists are staying behind. As for as am concernd they are sik. It sholdnt be ligal . I want to feel her agin. smash her fase in over over agin. (It trails off making less and less sense.)
- Spider People: Peter's elongated limbs make him resemble a fleshy spider.
- Super-Strength: Fittingly since Joy was originally funded as super soldier drug, the mutants develop truly incredible strength that lets them slaughter their opponents, even the mutants who have been twisted into something that otherwise shouldn’t even be able to move unaided.
- Tragic Monster: They were ordinary people who took Joy to stop the pain of the apocalypse from getting to them, only to turn into horrific creatures. Several of them will spend turns crying and screaming.
- Undeathly Pallor: Both Doctor and Jonathan have oddly pale skin, setting them apart from the other Mutants.
- Was Once a Man: They were all human at one point, and you can even encounter some Mutants prior to their transformation.
Richard "Rick" Weeks, Tony "Sticky" Angoneli and Cheeks Gaywood
Sticky (left), Cheeks (middle), Rick (right)
"She's our only hope for re-population, and you know it."
—Rick
"She's not your child, you fool."
—Sticky
"Secret's out Brad... She's gone."
—Cheeks
Buddy's "uncles" and Brad's lifelong friends. They all bonded over their shared miseries.
- Chocolate Baby: A flashback reveals Rick had an estranged son who was a few shades too dark to match him or his wife, implying he at least is not actually Rick's.
- Climax Boss: For area 3, should you spare him, Sticky stands in your way right at the end of your mission to give you a pretty damn tough fight before you can move into endgame.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: The strange image of Sticky in Brad's Joy-induced fight with him. This symbolic Sticky has a very phallic shape, asks Brad not to be angry with him for possibly raping Buddy, and when he is killed, has some kind of clear outer layer surrounding himself, with a protrusion emerging from the top of it.
- Hazy-Feel Turn: Sticky and Rick end up joining the Rando Army and oppose Brad. Rando's army has some genuinely good and genuinely awful people, and Brad is a Knight Templar to the extreme. Sticky possibly raped Buddy, though there's just as much evidence that Brad jumped to conclusions; Buddy confirms this to be the case in The Joyful when she reveals that Sticky never touched her.
- Buddy's spirit quest (implied to be a manifestation of their afterlives) in the Definitive Edition of Joyful implies that at the very least, they feel guilty for kickstarting the events of the story and realize that their plan to give Buddy to Rando made everything worse. Rick and Cheeks still believe it was a necessity to get Buddy away from Brad (with Rick in particular still holding a lot of anger against him), while Sticky is far more remorseful and introspective over enabling Brad's descent into addiction and despair.
- Honorary Uncle: All three of them to Buddy.
- Meaningful Name: Sticky, when it is hinted that he possibly raped Buddy.*
- No-Neck Chump: Sticky stands out among the character designs in that he doesn't have a chin.
- One-Steve Limit: The First includes a separate character named Tricky Rick, but this Rick exists at a later time than he does.
- Only Known By His Nickname: Sticky prefers it to his real name, Tony.
- Rape as Drama: Played with. In The Painful, the player is led to believe that Sticky raped Buddy, though she and Sticky deny it, and Brad is a bit of an Unreliable Narrator. In The Joyful, Buddy ultimately reveals that Sticky never touched her.
- Redemption Rejection: Should Brad choose to spare Sticky, he will later reappear in a final effort to stop Brad from reclaiming Buddy. His story ends with ultimately being Killed Off for Real.
- Sacrificial Lamb: Cheeks ends up dead at the beginning when Buddy's hideout is raided, bearing the dubious honor of being the first death in a game full of them. Possibly betrayed by Sticky and Rick as well.
- Stepford Smiler: One Flashback shows that Rick tried to deal with his own troubled home life this way, though he still vents to Brad about it.
- The Talk: Sticky was the one who gave it to Buddy, encouraging her to "save humanity."
- We Hardly Knew Ye: On top of being the first of the three to die, Cheeks is the only member of the trio not to receive any character-expanding flashbacks.
- We Used to Be Friends: Brad defended them from bullies as kids and they all stuck together during the apocalypse, but Rick and Sticky come to despise Brad, disgusted by his selfish desire to deprive humanity of their only hope for survival. The effects of Joy cause Brad to nearly kill Rick, but he succeeds in killing Sticky.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: If Rick and Sticky are left alive, Sticky comes back as a boss fight right before the end, but Rick is never seen again.
Chris Columbo
"Time is a great teacher. Sadly, it kills all its pupils. Howdy motherfucker."
A bully who's gang tormented Brad and his friends growing up, and keeps it up even as adults in the apocalypse.
- Bait-and-Switch Boss: It may seem that he's an arch-enemy of Brad, but the main villain role is soon revealed to belong to Buzzo.
- Big Bad Wannabe: Columbo seems to think of himself as Brad's arch-enemy, but he's more of a difficult road-bump than anything.
- Death Seeker: Becomes one after Brad kills his gang, and blows his own brains out after one last race with you.
- Easter Egg: If Brad works enough shifts at the Beehive, he may see Spaghetti enter his room, implying that Columbo is one of the patrons who visits the brothel.
- Gang of Bullies: Has been the leader of one since he was a kid.
- Mercy Kill: Kills his pet deer Spaghetti before offing himself.
- Redemption Equals Death: He has one last race with Brad, just for fun, and apologizes for bullying him all this time, before killing his pet deer, then himself.
- Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up: Decades later, Columbo is still a petty bully looking to give Brad a hard time.
- The Unfought: You fight the rest of his gang, but Columbo opts to shoot himself rather than fight you.
- Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: Speaks like this, apparently as an attempt to sound smart.
The Salvation Rangers
"For we are... THE SALVATION RANGERS!"
A team of wannabe superheroes fighting for justice in Olathe.
- Ambiguously Gay: Salvation Green can be seeing entering Brad's room in the Beehive if Brad decides to work to Queen Roger. If this happens, Green will only say "don't tell this to the other guys" and leave. Also he's the only NPC in The Joyful that will never try to attack Buddy if she interacts with him without a mask.
- The Baby of the Bunch: Black is evidently the youngest of the group, considering that he has the shortest sprites and his flashback is also depicted in what is clearly a post-flash environment, considering the barren landscape, presence of mudhuts, and crossdressing male stripper.
- Body Horror: Blue, Red, and possibly Yellow have all mutated by the time you meet them in Holly Wood, with the former being fightable.
- Driven to Suicide: Tooley/Salvation Green hangs himself after the List is completed; his achievement suggests that he did so in response to the rest of his friends being dead.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Only three of the Salvation Rangers have names: Dick (Pink), Tooley (Green) and Steve (Red). The rest of them are only known by their titles.
- Expy: They are obviously a parody of the Power Rangers.
- Killed Offscreen: In Area 3, Salvation Blue can be found as a Joy mutant, having killed Salvation Black. Salvation Red and Yellow's inanimate, mutated bodies are also nearby, along with Salvation Beige's seemingly unmutated corpse.
- Formerly Fat: Salvation Black. We get to see a flashback of why he went on his weight loss journey.
- Sole Survivor: Aside from the member that's kicked out, Salvation Green is revealed to have survived in The Joyful, and his real name is Tooley. This is later turned into a Last Survivor Suicide at the end of the game, when he kills himself out of grief for his fallen comrades.
- Spoof Aesop: Each member gives one when Brad first meets them.Salvation Red: Do your best to drink water and eat your veggies!
Salvation Blue: Keep your chin down, and eyes up around bullies!
Salvation Yellow: Always listen to Dad, even when he's been drinking!
Salvation Green: Don't pay for drugs, let your friends do that!
Salvation Black: No race jokes, please! - Suspiciously Similar Substitute: If you recruit Dick Dickson earlier than expected, he will be replaced with a new guy, Salvation Beige. Lampshaded, in that Beige believes that no one actually likes him.
Mr. Angoneli
"Her face... My mark on history!!! Aaaahahahahaaa!"
A homeless janitor who is terrible to his son Sticky. He lived in Brad's neighborhood when he was a child and somehow survived into the Apocalypse.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Appears once at the very start of the game as just some window dressing, once halfway through as a vague flashback, and finally once at the end, carving open Buddy's face. The fact that he's even still alive in Olathe is a shock considering his age compared to Brad's.
- Face–Heel Turn: Seems like a perfectly fine guy at first, if Brad's vision of him chastising him for having pornography is any indication.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: His motivation for attacking Buddy, as he believes scarring the face of the last woman will put him down in history.
- I Just Want to Be Special: He considers the Apocalypse the opportunity to be the somebody he's always wanted to be.
Men's Hair Club Presidents
"You dandy fuck! You just made the biggest mistake of your life..."
The presidents of the titular club. They serve as the main boss of the first area of the game, having apparently gotten a hold of Buddy.
- Actually Four Mooks: Zigzagged Trope. The Men's Hair Club Presidents all count as one unit. However, their hair is a separate enemy.
- Affably Evil: The Men's Hair Club is pretty much a gang of rapists, but they want to share their fortunes with others... as long as they're not bald.
- Anime Hair: Exaggerated in the fight with them to the point where their hair combines to form a middle finger.
- Berserk Button: Bald people apparently aren't allowed in their presence.
- Beware the Silly Ones: That hair may look silly, but it can also strike for up to 1000 damage, which is downright deadly at that point of the game.
- Climax Boss: For the first area of the game; everything you do in area 1, from getting the bicycle, to optionally gathering up firebombs, is preparing you to be able to reach and challenge them.
- Disc-One Final Boss: Come on, you didn't really think you'd find Buddy already, did you?
- Disproportionate Retribution: They fight Brad not because he wants to free their prisoner, but because he's bald.
- Flipping the Bird: Their combined hair somehow manages to pull this off.
- Kill It with Fire: Their hair is very weak to fire, presumably because of hair spray.
- Prehensile Hair: The hair on the presidents' heads somehow can detach and form a singular entity for the boss fight against them.
Horrace
"Let me just press the off pedal annnd... Oops!"
A bulldozer operator who isn't actually that good at operating one and acts as a reluctant miniboss.
- Anti-Villain: He doesn't actually do anything wrong and instead gets in a fight with Brad because he loses control of his bulldozer.
- Butt-Monkey: The victim of a long line of jokes and tragedies, he's a failure as a bulldozer driver, his incompetence cost his wife her life and he eventually ends up accidentally getting into a fight with Brad.
- Developing Doomed Characters: Parodied, his entire hilariously tragic backstory is shown in a long flashback before his fight.
Bloodiest Wolf
"The painted sky should tell you everything... She doesn't belong to you. This is the last Bloodmoon tree, and i shall not allow you to take her."
The leader of the gang that resides in Bloodmoon mountain. He and his gang protect the last Bloodmoon tree, and they must be fought in order to acquire the wood necessary to build the boat.
- Ambiguously Evil: Its unknown if Bloodiest Wolf and his tribe are allied with Yado or not, but at the very least they are aware of his identity and his plan.
- Animal Motifs: Wolves. He's named after one and his signature attack is called "Howling Geyser".
- Animal Theme Naming: He and his whole gang (except Blood Mountain) are named after animals (Blood Hawk, Blood Bull...etc).
- Anti-Villain: He and his gang don't care about Buddy and only seem to be concerned with protecting the last Bloodmoon tree. They live in a remote area of the world, removed from the bloodshed of Olathe, and while they attack you on sight, they don't do it without a reason.
- Braids, Beads and Buckskins: He along with all the members of his gang wear leather vests, feather ornaments and face paint.
- Cruelty Is the Only Option: You need Blood Wood to craft the boat, but Bloodiest Wolf and his gang protect the last tree with their lives, so if you want that wood you will have to kill them.
- Cryptic Conversation: According to the dialogue of its subordinates, its implied that Bloodiest Wolf and his gang are aware of the existence of Yado and the objective of his plan, although if they are allied with him or not its unknown.Blood Bull: You've met him.
Blood Coyote: The shadow of the father howls into the night.
Blood Hawk: His song will make us dance.
Blood Mountain: He birthed her, he will have her. - Double Meaning: "She doesn't belong to you" and "and I shall not allow you to take her". While Bloodiest Wolf is talking about the tree, its implied he is also talking about Buddy.
- In Harmony with Nature: He dedicates all his efforts to protect the tree, despite that theres nothing to gain from it
- Magical Native American: The whole gimmick of the Bloodmoon tribe, specially Bloodiest Wolf. They suddenly appear out of thin air, and during battle Bloodiest Wolf presents supernatural abilities that exceed those of most enemies.
- Power Floats: While every other sprite remains static during fights, Bloodiest Wolf slowly floats up and down in battle.
- Theme Naming: Blood; He and his gang have "Blood" as a part of their names, not all that strange since they live in Bloodmoon Mountain.
Wally
"Hi, welcome to— No! Stop! You can't be here! Hoo ho ho, go away! Hoo hoooo! Don't! Where's Nuggie? No! Don't! Did you hurt him?! Wally's got what ya' kid needs! Hooo hoo! No no no! You want to Wally size it?! No no no! Welcome to Wally's! Don't! Please, I want to just die!
A person wearing the costume of the titular mascot of the fast-food restaurant Wally's, who is worshiped by the village built around the restaurant due to being their only source of food.
- All Hail the Great God Mickey!: To the point where the villagers pray to the restaurant's drive-thru speaker for food.
- And I Must Scream: His pre-battle dialogue heavily implies that he's well-aware of his current state, and he outright states that he wants to die.
- Body Horror: For unexplained reasons, Wally's skin somehow has been rotting from inside his costume, or has been fused to the costume itself. This is especially jarring since this does not stem from Joy usage, as he doesn't drop any after being defeated.
- Burger Fool: Being the mascot of a fast-food place will do that to you.
- Climax Boss: He's fought right before you reunite with Buddy, and is arguably
the hardest story boss in the game. - Damage-Sponge Boss: Is by far the most durable of the required story bosses, with 19,000 HP, as well as an immunity to being Fallen or Stunned. Being able to heal about 1/40th of his health later on, and being able to inflict Depression and Scared upon multiple party members, usually simultaneously, helps, too. To put things in perspective; the only other two bosses who are even more defensive than Wally are Beady and Satan, both of whom are late-game Optional Bosses.
- Expy: A rather obvious one of Ronald McDonald. The references go to more subtle areas past that, though; Lil' Nuggie, the sub-mascot character of Wally's, is an Expy of Grimace, and Wally's general design (namely, his stringy yellow hair, and the prominence of red and blue in his clothes) bring to mind the original 1960 Willard Scott portrayal of the character.
- I Cannot Self-Terminate: Wally's dialogue implies that, in his (lack of) state of mind, he isn't able to commit suicide, with Brad and his gang killing him eventually granting him that release.
- Knight of Cerebus: The game's Black Comedy tone comes to a screeching halt when you finally meet Wally in person. Between the Body Horror, insane laughter, unsettling nature of this biology/appearance and other things, the confrontation with Wally is arguably the point where the game's dark undertones really start to slowly seep into the overall narrative, ESPECIALLY if you fight him before you make your way to Area 3.
- Laughing Mad: Frequently has psychotic fits of laughter, the sound of which being a modified version of Goose's laugh from Top Gun. His laughter is apparently scary enough to cause Depression within the entire party, as well as occasionally Scaring them stiff, giving Wally an Extra Turn in the fight.
- Leitmotif: My Lord, My Wally, and Praise Wally.
- Literally Shattered Lives: During the fight against him, his different phases are signified by the head of his costume breaking apart, eventually giving the player a disturbing look at his rotting skin.
- Monster Clown: Being an Expy of Ronald McDonald, this was inevitable.
- Mood Whiplash: Wally's entire existence is made of this trope, considering that you discover and fight him right at the end of one of the game's most humorous sub-areas.
- Morality Pet: The one hint to this is the fact that he briefly mentions Lil' Nuggie, the sub-mascot of Wally's who you find partway up the mountain leading to the restaurant, in a way that he is scared that you have hurt him, which you most likely did.
- Interestingly, this is played with due to the fact that Lil' Nuggie, during the fight against him, occasionally wastes turns to "beg for forgiveness from Wally" like the villagers do, which is evidence to the contrary.
- Non-Standard Character Design: Subverted, since he's just wearing a costume.
- Reluctant Psycho: He's a dangerous, Laughing Mad foe, but his pre-battle dialogue implies that he hates what he has become, and wants to die because of it.
- Room Full of Crazy: The restaurant itself is covered in-and-outside with blood-written messages like "NO NO" and "DON'T", most likely coming from Wally himself.
- Tortured Monster: Whatever the exact truth of his situation, he's clearly horrified with what he is, only wanting to die, all while forced to provide food for a community of worshipers down below.
- To Serve Man: Considering the state of the restaurant, it's implied that the Wallyburgers that the villagers eat are seemingly made from corpses, or, even worse, his own mutated flesh.
- Walking Spoiler: While Wally has little-to-no plot significance, the fact that he's the game's Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant is quite shocking, especially since he's the primary boss of one of the game's quirkier sub-areas.
Shardy Hernandez
"Is that a map? Or chart...? Whatever it's called? It is! Whoa, it smells... Garbage Island, huh? Well, I can take you to this island. What do you say?"
Fardy's brother who owns a boat. Unfortunately, he lacks any sea maps, so Brad must acquire them in order to use Shardy's boats.
- Family Theme Naming: "-ardy."
- Secret Level: His boat can take you to Dismal Island and Garbage Island, where many party members can be recruited, and Resort Island, where plot-relevant secrets can be learned. None of these islands are necessary to visit to complete the game.
- Sole Survivor: Unless he has more brothers out there, Shardy is the only Hernandez who cannot be killed at all, and thus will always implicitly be alive in the end.
- Uncanny Family Resemblance: He looks almost exactly like his brothers, with only their hair being different.
Tardy Hernandez
"Hey fella, I didn't just go through all that work for a pat on the back. I want a piece of that little bitch..."
Another of Fardy's brothers whose boat ends up stolen by Buddy, and Brad cooperates with him to finish a second boat to go look for her.
- Asshole Victim: Sure he helped Brad, but he only did so so that he could have a piece of Buddy, so it's rather hard to feel bad about killing him.
- Chekhov's Gun: His dead body comes in useful for pursuing Buddy after she steals the second boat.
- Face–Heel Turn: When he learns that Brad intends to leave him behind in the final area, he makes his desire for Buddy clear and attacks him.
- Family Theme Naming: "-ardy."
- Improbable Weapon User: He uses the giant fan he used to propel the boat on Brad. Predictably, it inflicts little to no damage.
- Meaningful Name: Not very smart to take on one of the strongest men in Olathe, eh, Tardy?
- Too Dumb to Live: Tardy honestly believes he stands a chance against a man who defeated whole gangs while building his boat.
- Uncanny Family Resemblance: He looks like Fardy and Shardy, and in The Joyful, Lardy.
- Zero-Effort Boss: He only has a thousand hp, which a single fireball combo can easily hit at this point of the game, and has pitiful stats across the board. His fight and subsequent death serves as the last joke of the game.
Satan
"You people do not learn. Curiosity just killed you."
An evil trucker who terrorizes the wastelands outside of the EWC village.
- Armor of Invincibility: Drops his Belt Buckle, one of the best accessories in the game, upon defeat.
- Artificial Limbs: He has a prosthetic right hand replacing what is presumably an amputated stump. This is clearly a reference to the prosthetic hand that Nnemonic uses as his channel logo.
- Big Badass Rig: Satan resides inside of one, which is covered in a flamboyant, badass decal.
- The Cameo: Mike Nnemonic as a murderous trucker, referencing his old job driving rigs.
- Appearance-wise, Satan resembles Jebidiah, the custom character whom Nnemonic plays as in Hard Time and The You Testament.
- The Dreaded: The villagers forbid anyone from going near his truck, and there are legends of him reducing people to nothing but meat.
- Finger Poke of Doom: The Destiny Poke, which inflicts random status affects upon those he hits with it.
- The Giant: Satan is one of the largest characters in the game by sprite alone, and is also one of the most powerful opponents.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: It doesn't get any more blatant than Satan.
- His rig is referred to by the EWC villagers as the Devil's Machine.
- One-Hit Kill: As befitting of an RPG superboss, he is guaranteed to use Decapitate with reckless abandon, if given the chance.
- Stout Strength: He's got a huge gut on him, but it's clear a lot of his weight is muscle too, as his double chop attack can instantly kill a party member if it connects.
- Superboss: He highlights it, saying that by facing him, the player's curiosity will be their undoing.
- Tom the Dark Lord: His real name is simply Mike. It's on his truck, as well as the tag on the key to it.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: He doesn't have a shirt on him.
- Wrestler in All of Us: Among Satan's list of moves are a power bomb and a piledriver.
Gary The Hot Soup
"Soup's on, baby!"
A wrestler that participates in EWC that you can fight in the Eternal Championship division, and at random in the Dystopian Rumble. He also appears as a mid-boss on Lardy's section.
- Chekhov's Gunman: A minor enemy to face at the EWC and one of the weaker ones. He reappears in the Joyful RPG as a mid-boss, who is considerably tougher.
- Leitmotif: In the Joyful, this is his theme song, which perfectly summarizes the situation.
- Name To Run Away From Really Fast: Inverted. It is just a wrestling gimmick.
- Took a Level in Badass: You probably beat him in one turn with Brad alone in the Painful. He's able to put up a legitimate fight against Rando and Buddy combined in Joyful.
- Top-Heavy Guy: To an exaggerated degree.
- Wrestler in All of Us: What did you expect from a EWC participant?
- Zero-Effort Boss: In Painful. His HP pool is so low that Brad will most likely knock him out in one hit. Joyful is another story though...
Bolo Bugaughtiichi
"Look everybody! It's the amazing Buddy! I often wondered... What's more likely? Seeing your pretty little face... Or paying off my home loan! Haaaaaaaaa! You see, friends... It pays to wait. Like Daddy used to say. "When it comes to a king's buffet. There's no shame in eating table scraps." Especially when the scraps are this tasty. Haaaaaaaaa! Okay. Enough goofin'. Grab that pristine meat!"
The first man that Buddy meets in The Joyful, leading his own posse. Unfortunately, he's way over his head.
- Big Bad Wannabe: He presents himself as a big threat when Buddy and Rando first meet him. He and his gang is immediately attacked by a Joy Mutant and are easily decimated; despite leading a gang, he's not even on the List.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: When he returns later in the game, he's managed to defeat and trap Rando, and comes very, very close to successfully raping Buddy. He can also be a surprisingly difficult boss fight.
- Chekhov's Gunman: He survives said Joy Mutant, however, and ends up being an indirect cause of Rando's death.
- Combat Pragmatist: He prides himself on this trope. Late in the game he traps Buddy in a dangerous situation by using Rando as leverage, and would have succeeded in molesting Buddy had Sweetheart not intervened. If you choose to fight him, his use of Fallen and Poison inflicting attacks means he's surprisingly tough to defeat.
- Duel Boss: You fight him if you make the choice of letting go of Rando.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Given that he somehow managed to trap Rando as a means of threatening Buddy, it is clear he is more clever than she or the player would've already assumed he would be.
- Oh, Crap!: When Sweetheart shows up, all he can muster is, "...oh my."
- Pædo Hunt: Unlike the rest of the men in Olathe, who are ok with raping Buddy despite her being a prepubescent, Bolo seems to take glee in the fact that Buddy is underage, making his actions towards her that much more evil-seeming and disgusting.
- Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: Raping Buddy is his prime motivation, and he comes extremely close to succeeding too. Even Dr. Yado is apparently disgusted with him.
- The Unfought: Played With. You only fight him if you let go of Rando, whereas Sweetheart takes care of him for you if you don't.
- The Unpronounceable: So much so that it's become somewhat of a meme in the LISA fandom.
- Verbal Tic: "Like daddy used to say. [Insert aphorism here]"
The Grandfather (Spoilers Unmarked)
"Pain and trauma may always have a place in life... In fact... I'd say it's something that shouldn't be separated from us, even if we had a choice."
Brad and Lisa's grandfather, and Marty's father. A martial arts expert, he took Brad away from Marty to teach him the Armstrong Way. He is only referenced in one epilogue in Joyful, and briefly seen in Brad's Nightmare in the Definitive Edition.
- Abusive Parents: A downplayed example. He's much better of a father figure than Marty ever was by sole virtue of not being Marty, and castigates him for this in his speech. However, his focus on using pain to find strength is implied to have made Brad the depressed individual we see him to be in game. For whatever reason, he never came back to save Lisa from Marty either.
- Cynical Mentor: Believes pain and trauma are a necessity for achieving greatness, and taught Brad how to internalize his pain into power. It worked, too well.
- Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe: He's seen smoking a pipe.
- The Faceless: His only appearance shows him from the back.
- Inadequate Inheritor: His open opinion of Marty.
- Stay in the Kitchen: Might be a believer of such a trope, given Lisa mentions he won't teach martial arts to girls.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: His only dialogue is a dissociated admonishing against Marty.
"Pain and trauma may always have a place in life... In fact... I'd say it's something that shouldn't be separated from us, even if we had a choice. Runs the risk of killing greatness. But understand, child... I can't have you tainting my bloodline with your insecurity anymore. There's a difference between what can make us and what can break us. Pushing the body and mind to grow beyond its perceived limitations. Or... Lashing out at those weaker than you to satiate some type of selfish indulgence. He'll resent me, sure... The same way he resents you... But it won't be in vain. Men don't need toys. Men shape the future. And I'll make sure his pain will be a worthy sacrifice. I'll make him stronger. Tougher. More resilient. More grateful. More powerful. The benefits are endless. Frankly. I'll make sure to give him all the toys you lacked... Wisdom... That, against my will, skipped a generation. I'll bear that mistake, but I won't let it happen again... The boy is coming with me, Marty. Whether you like it or not. I will right your wrongs. I will teach him the Armstrong Way."
- Training from Hell: The essence of the Armstrong Way, which he passed down to Brad.
